Elin REALLY Doesn't Play
TMZ has an entirely different story on how Tiger Woods' face ended up looking like a cat tried to dry hump it. This whole story is really close to getting an "Escandalo" tag.
According to a source, Tiger and his wife Elin Nordegren had a fight about the rumor that he's cheating on her ass with that Rachel Uchitel trick. The argument got violent when Elin attacked Tiger's face, scratching it up. Bitch showed him who the real tiger in the family is.
That was Tiger's cue to exit stage left, so he hopped in his Escalade to escape the madness. But Elin wasn't going to let Tiger get away that easy, so she chased him with a golf club and smashed his back windows. Tiger, who is taking painkillers for an injury, got distracted in all the chaos and crashed into the fire hydrant. The two made up the story that his SUV's windows were busted out, because Elin broke them with the golf club to save Tiger.
TMZ also spoke to Rachel Uchitel who denied that she's letting the Tiger into her bag. Rachel says that she met him once, but they never fucked around. Rachel added that the National Enquirer's sources were paid $25,000 each for the fake story.
Um. Of course Rachel is going to pull the denial card out of her snatch. Does she really want to face the wrath of Elin Nordegren? If Elin took a golf club to Tiger, I can imagine what she would do to Rachel. Elin will run that whore over with a golf cart. Seriously, Elin is not going to let some gutter tramp ho eff with her money like that! Rachel better stay away from all golf courses and Ikeas from now on.
• 
I see she went to the Brenda Ritchie school of azz kickin'
I'm really cynical and sad today, I'm questioning whether marriage ever works. All we hear are depressing stories of divorce, adultery, domestic violence, or couples who stay together and are simply unhappy their whole lives. Maybe I should just become a nun and rule out the possibility of marriage all together.
Is this Rachel chick a professional whore? This is what one of the blogs quotes her as saying:
"Although I've been romantically linked to a famous baseball player, a Broadway star, a musician, and various film and television actors, I will never kiss and tell!" Uchitel previously told BlackBookMag.com. "Some of the simplest things in life make me happy, and I want to end up with someone who truly loves and respects me for who I am. I have amazing friends and acquaintances that have been so generous to me, both personally and professionally, and they're part of who and where I am at this stage in my life. I'm lucky to get paid to just be who I am, and am so grateful to be surrounded by the people I know and love that I have met through work."
Wonder if her middle name is Brunhilde since she obviously went all valkyrie on his ass? He's lucky she didn't push him and the Escalade into Lake Butler and torch it like a Viking ship.
Memo to Tiger via golf.com:
Stonewalling is a bad option. Roger Clemens and Alex Rodriguez can testify to that. What Woods should do is take control of the story and explain what happened — good, bad or otherwise. Get it over with and let the ever-impatient news cycle find its fresh meat elsewhere. The alternative is weeks spent picking away at the many unexplained details of his crash. At best, the incident will be a minor glitch that is quickly forgotten. At worst, it could damage his carefully crafted public image.
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George W. Bush has decided to become a motivational speaker, thereby putting his money where his foot usually is.
Why are very few places writing about the most fascinating thing about this story - Tiger's so called mistress, Rachel Uchitel. I am shocked to find out she lost her fiance in 9/11 and used it to transform herself into a socialite and celebrity. Read her story here:
http://www.rumermills.com/tag/rachel-uchitel/
You couldn't write this stuff!
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These women that stay with cheating men because they are worth millions is just ludicrous to me.
Obviously they stay because they don't just want the money that comes with the marriage, but the prestige of the kind of lifestyle that comes along with it. The banquets, events, etc.
Fuck THAT.
She would get enough millions in a divorce to be able to buy her own damn island or start fresh and marry another hot rich piece that could keep his cock in his pants.
She is a supermodel, after all.
*eyeroll*
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Submitted by Centaurious on Sun, 11/29/2009 - 12:32am.
Is this really true that she chased him down with the golf club?!
What brand.
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Big Bertha!
I always thought Tiger Woods was more boring than Velveeta, but this story is making me watch! I love the fact his wife beat his ass. I hope it is true and he is the celebrity version of "Cops." I so hope there are pictures somewhere of this.
Submitted by Centaurious on Sun, 11/29/2009 - 12:32am.
Is this really true that she chased him down with the golf club?!
What brand.
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Could it have been....NIKE?!?
♥ Threadkilla!
"I told him to tell her to be herself. I think he did and now she's bein a whore!"
~ david Letterman - Staff Fucker
http://www.bestofthe2000s.com/media5.html
"piggy is listed and dlisted isn't! Fuckers." ~ TITS VOTE!
Why was Rachel Uchitel disappointed in Tiger Woods' sexual prowess?
After only 3 or 4 strokes, he moved onto the next hole.
Why does Tiger Woods dog hate him?
Cos he's got nowhere to pee now.
Why did Tiger fail his driving test?
Cos the obstacle course had a fire hydrant on it.
hahahahahaha
Coma Caca!!
CHIRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIO !!!!!!!!
LOL!!!!!!
CUTE
CHIRIO BRIT BRIT !
HAWT :)
___________________________________________________
j'aime rien, je suis mexicaine !
http://www.flickr.com/photos/peaches2709/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuIjx98o9qA
EVERYBODY CHECK THIS OUT NEW LYRICS FROM BRIT SPEARS FEATURING ELIN:
1, 2, 3
model nanny, me, you, and me
Got one eighty degrees with the Escalade
And I'm caught in between the mansion
Countin' GolF Courses
1, 2, 3
Tiger, Rachel & National Enquirer
Gettin' down with repeating clubbing the windows
Everybody loves (oh)
Countin' National Enquirer
Babe, pick a night at 2:25am
To come out and play
If it's alright ima Club you
What do you say Cadillac?
Merrier the more
Triple fun that way ...triple paychecks every month
Twister nanny style on the floor
What do you say?
Are - you in National Enquirer
Livin' in sin is the new thing (yeah)
Are - you in National Enquirer
I am countin'!
Coma Caca!!
There's been a lot of self-hatred from the beginning.
Tiger, an athlete in a white sport, shuns the african-american community --wouldn't consider dating or marrying a non-über caucasion.
And Elin would never've given him the time of day if he wasn't a rich & famous person.
A marriage doomed from the start.
Right about now my EX-husband is thanking the gods that he was a professional drinker and I only busted up the backside of his head with a highball glass.
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Are You A Goddess? If so...
Hi moosh, we don't know each other but I really must inform you that I love the way you puuuuuuuurrrr!
It's very unique and cute.
_________________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
this is getting funnier everyday.
puurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,
moosh
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Is this really true that she chased him down with the golf club?!
What brand.
Sales will go through the roof!
________________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
Elin will be receiving a big, shiny, expensive piece o'bling in a few days.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sat, 11/28/2009 - 9:27pm.
Submitted by Whatever on Sat, 11/28/2009 - 8:51pm.
Us common folk could never get away with telling the police to come back later. Must be nice to buy your way out of trouble.
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Technically, if what they wanted to do required a warrant, and they didn't have one, yes we absolutely could. I suspect that's what's happening now...They are trying to prove their case against crazy ass Elin, but they don't have and can't get a warrant...I don't know about tryna get Tiger for DUI with the pain killers, but one thing feeds off the other and if neither person will cooperate and blood tests (or whatever it takes) weren't taken at the scene and Tiger don't wanna press charges, I REALLY doubt the DA is going to pursue this mess....
*
show of hands - who thought TL was referring to herself?
THIS IS SO CONFUSSING
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
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I agree with the poster/s who said Mrs. Woods got on DListed and flipped on Tiger. She opened a can of whoop ass upon reading how that gal managed to get onto his floor at the hotel.
Rubita does not play!! Scratched her Tiger now before his claws get into some bitches vagina!
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"Let's unleash the defense lawyers." Nancy Grace.
"I resent my reputation is getting completely blasted in the media," she said during a telephone interview late Friday. "Everyone is assuming I came out and said this. This is not a story I have anything to do with."
Uchitel said she was in Melbourne two weeks ago with clients and never saw Woods the entire time she was there."
Bwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh...as if this wh*re has a reputation to "blast"...she better lap up her 15 minutes of fame while she can. She was in Melbourne with "clients"? LMAO Is that what they call them these days? Isn't she some kind of "hostess"? Delusional bitch.
Seriously, why must she be labeled a gold digger? It's not like he's some 90 year-old with a hot piece of ass. At least when she married him, he was pretty attractive (don't think he's aging well).
Not getting why she's automatically assumed to be a gold digger unless there's some underlying theme of how can this white woman love this black man? WTF? Am I the only one who is somewhat surprised by the comments here?
A reverse OJ situation lol
Submitted by Whatever on Sat, 11/28/2009 - 8:51pm.
Us common folk could never get away with telling the police to come back later. Must be nice to buy your way out of trouble.
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Technically, if what they wanted to do required a warrant, and they didn't have one, yes we absolutely could. I suspect that's what's happening now...They are trying to prove their case against crazy ass Elin, but they don't have and can't get a warrant...I don't know about tryna get Tiger for DUI with the pain killers, but one thing feeds off the other and if neither person will cooperate and blood tests (or whatever it takes) weren't taken at the scene and Tiger don't wanna press charges, I REALLY doubt the DA is going to pursue this mess....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Us common folk could never get away with telling the police to come back later. Must be nice to buy your way out of trouble.
When u jump in the mud for the buck, you got to eat it, bitch.
Dis bitch be gone baby gone real quick in some Flo-swamp pond and noone miss her.
Elin, like Vanessa Bryant (Kobe's wife), and Victoria Beckham, is going nowhere. Any gold digger worth a damn knows that there's no money in divorce. The real money and power is in sticking with your douche of a husband.
But I love love love that she cut his face up and chased after him down the street and beat his car with his own golf clubs. HIGHlarious.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Chris Brown needs to like, wow, take that stupid ass bow tie and shove it down his throat. It's like, wow. WOW. --MK 8/31/09
"Montes said both rear passenger windows of the SUV -- which was towed from the scene -- were shattered and there was damage to the left and right of its front end, resulting in $5,000 to $8,000 in estimated damages." from CNN.
She needed to bust out both rear windows to get him out of the car? Uhuh.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
WTF? What do mean he can get away by telling the cops to come back later?
If I tried that line, I'd get a Rodney King beat down with a tazer chaser.
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"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone
How in hell does one get away with telling the police to come back tomorrow, and then telling them to come back a second day? WTF. It is obvious he is waiting for his face to heal up a bit...from the car damage, they already know the lacerations were not caused by the "accident."
I will admit, I was cheering the fact that she went after him with a golf club, as I can't stand his arrogant, self-involved, cheapskate ass.
I really do believe that violence is always wrong. Sorry for my momentary lapse.
Tiger's a cheatin' whore, she's an ex-nanny who's now MRS. TIGER WOODS, she'll put up with anything while beating his ass when she catches him in the act, until she can't take it anymore and takes him to cleaners.
I give the marriage another 10 years. Maybe 15 if he calms down a little.
If she ages REALLY badly, it may last until death do they part.
_________________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
Submitted by super-ette on Sat, 11/28/2009 - 7:18pm.
KidL, no one knows the story...perhaps we never will know what happened, unless someone produces video of the entire thing. The same logic that you employ in defending him should apply to her as well.....innocent until proven guilty.
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I am not saying we'll ever know what happened. Just pointing out that there is NOTHING-no rumors, no "sources", no friends of a friend, etc.-to suggest she was a battered spouse. There are rumors, claims, etc. that suggest she was violent towards him
And where, exactly, am I defending him? I said numerous times that I do not condone his cheating and called him a douchebag. I also said she had every right to break his stuff, scream at him, etc. but I don't condone violence.
If by somehow suggesting that no one, not even a cheater, deserves to be physically assualted is "defending" him or saying that I don't feel right suggesting he is a wife beater without even the slightest suggestion that he ever laid a hand on her or any woman then I guess I am.
KidL, no one knows the story...perhaps we never will know what happened, unless someone produces video of the entire thing. The same logic that you employ in defending him should apply to her as well.....innocent until proven guilty.
This is totally believable. And I don't approve of the face scratching but I love the way she knocked out the windows with a golf club. Typically I don't like the whole woman-goes-nuts thing, but this story entertains me.
Ugh, are people really allowed to tell the cops to "come back later" as many times as they want if they don't feel like talking to them?
And what the hell, if it was Elin who was in the car accident after reports of her cheating and Tiger kept telling the cops that she couldn't talk, everybody would be freaked out thinking he did something to her.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
Submitted by TITS on Sat, 11/28/2009 - 5:38pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sat, 11/28/2009 - 5:11pm.
Violence against Tigers is always wrong.
*sad face*
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You're damn skippy there, my friend....
The only thing that justifies her behavior is if he threatened/di violence against her (as I said before) OR her children...I just don't see that making much sense in this case...
To be honest, I don't have A LOT of sympathy for any of the players involved...
If Tiger wanted to fuck around, he either shouldn't have gotten married, divorced Elin's crazy ass or only married her in an open marriage sitch. He didn't deserve what he got, but his actions before the fact aren't exactly admirable...unless he wasn't fucking around...but you know he was....
Elin needs to check into a reality clinic toute de suite, however, if she thinks ANY rich celebrity ain't gonna fuck around on her. It's what they do and they do it because they can. Just because she's pretty and blonde don't make her an exception...
And the ho? Well, bitch need to keep her paws off spoken for dick. She don't deserve violence done to her any more than Tiger does (he has a bigger obligation to crazy ass Elin than this trick does). However, bitch does deserve to be tremblin' in fear of crazy ass Elin. See whores, that's the main reason you don't mess with owned dick, it ain't just that it's wrong, it's that you never know when a bitch is gonna go off and whoop a trick. It's self preservation...and taking dick that belong to you ain't right.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by super-ette on Sat, 11/28/2009 - 5:23pm.
I don't condone violence, and this would be much funnier if they didn't have two young children....but how did she just get up in his face and scratch him ? What if HE was hitting her. . .
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There's nothing so far to indicate that was the case and without anything to support that, I don't feel right suggesting he is a wife beater.
Really, it is not okay for her to have attacked him. Break his shit, burn his clothes, run up a shit load of purchases on his credit card but HITTING IS WRONG unless you are defending yourself.
As far as her being post-partum goes, I had a baby months after her. I would love to use that excuse if I attacked someone.
If Tiger was the type to hit a woman, and she was retaliating, it doesn't explain why he was trying to escape her ass by getting in the damn Escalade.
Remeber when he got food poisoning from her cooking and barfed in the bushes during a tournament? She should've just fixed him one of her special meals.
I'm totally going to stake their place out tomorrow.
Tiger better have an iron-clad prenup. I can see where this is heading...straight to the sandtrap with a pit stop to the ball washer.
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"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone
haha TITS. Funny you should ask ;)
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sat, 11/28/2009 - 5:11pm.
Violence against Tigers is always wrong.
*sad face*
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Submitted by xtinawasmynamefirst on Sat, 11/28/2009 - 5:11pm.
you have weed?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
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I don't condone violence, and this would be much funnier if they didn't have two young children....but how did she just get up in his face and scratch him ? What if HE was hitting her and/or holding her down, and then she scratched him to get away?
If the SUV was the only casualty, I can make an allowance for that. She is post-partum......not an excuse, but an explanation.
Celeb justice folks, aren't y'all used to it?
What are they hiding? It was just a fender bender, for hell's sake. Why not speak to the cops and get it over with? So this evasive maneuvering begs the question what are they hiding?
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George W. Bush has decided to become a motivational speaker, thereby putting his money where his foot usually is.
Interesting too how when all those people were saying Rihanna deserved a beatdown, we were all here appalled. How could she deserve it? Now Tiger has lacerations because his wife beat him down and we are cheering?
Onto special treatment...yes, how is it that he is able to just turn the investigators away?