Tiger, Tiger, Tiger....
As promised, UsWeekly has released a voice message Tiger Woods left for his alleged mistress whore Jaimee Grubbs (or G. Rubbs if you're nasty). You should get on the floor and stretch, because you will be getting down to the dance remix of this in the near future.
In the voicemail, Tiger tells Jaimee, "Hey, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voicemail. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye."
Does Tiger think Elin Nordegren has loganberries for brains? First of all, Jaimee's telephone number is 1-900-SKANK-HO, so Elin knew Tiger must be doing ho shit with her. Second of all, changing the voicemail isn't going to throw Elin off. Tiger should have told Jaimee to answer her phone with, "Good morning, this is Zales. How may I help you?" Come on, Tiger!
And like I said before, when it rains whores, it pours whores. Life & Style is adding another name to Tiger's Harem of Whores. Meet Kalika Moquin, a marketing manager for The Bank nightclub in Las Vegas. Some source tells Life & Style, “They’ve hooked up a bunch of times. Tiger told Kalika that married life isn’t all it’s built up to be. He said he wasn’t happy in his marriage or his home life and that there was just so much pressure on him.”
To save ourselves some time in the future, let's just assume that Tiger has had an affair with every cocktail waitress/nightclub marketing manager/reality skank from here to Laughlin.
• 
Dumbest guy ever
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Proud love child of Oprah Winfrey & Bill Gates
this is just getting to fucking expensive now
dont fuck with sweden bitches, or your ass and your bank account will get cut.
Damn i cant even look at tiger the same!
Fucked up
The smart fuckas rent skanks instead of marrying to keep up appearances.
And hell yes Elin should flee that gilded nest and buy her own.
She can definitely upgrade from Tiger in the looks department, cuz he looks like a constipated turtle.
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
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When will men with money and fame learn? THE ONLY REASON SHE'S GETTING DOWN WITH YOU IS SO SHE CAN TELL THE WORLD! That's the whole point. The appeal is to be able to say "look who wants me." She's probably faking her orgasams too. And the skanks not really in love with anyone but her own ego. It's the only thing you both have in common.
I hope Elin leaves his ass. It's always going to be in the back of her mind if she stays, it's not worth all that stress. She's pretty enough, and will get half of Tiger's money, and find a hot man. I'm sure she can find someone hotter than Tiger, cause Tiger's not all that. I personally have never found Tiger attractive.
What a piece of shit this guy is. Whoever mentioned that he called to hide his tracks (not to call it off) really nailed it. It's even worse because he has kids. He shamed his entire family.
The women who sleep with married men are just as bad. They're no-self-esteem-having bitches. And generally i find that men cheat with women far less attractive than their wives. It's like they're punishing themselves ahead of time.
OMG- "Victor Mature with implants" lollol
"Elin needs to walk. She's still young, she ought to take the kids and enjoy her youth."
Agree.
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Personally, I think Steven is just one of those natural crackheads. You know, those hos who act strung out, but aren't. They are primarily known as "Born-Again Christians."
Ummm--Tiger doesn't seem to go for looks, does he? This one looks like Victor Mature with implants.
He could have saved himself *lots* of trouble by ordering room-service ladyboy specials on his trips to Phuket. Those elegant creatures *never* f-and-tell I bet.
Elin has him by the balls!
puurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,
moosh
http://www.twolia.com/blogs/teacups-and-couture/
http://www.twolia.com/shop
One word: "Loganberries".
I immediately pictured Elin beating Tiger with a affordable Swedish furniture.
"Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder? "
I had a friend who followed the golf circuit and she told me there are LOTS of ho's that groopie around after those guys! AND lots of pro-golfers who take them on as well.
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pussies going spastic usually make me feel queasy - MK
Gee, Elin must be mortified by now. It's bad enough to hear about 1 floozy, but now it's up to 3. Tiger must be having to really come clean now just because he can't be assured who else is gonna step up to the whore plate next. Elin nedds to send his ass packing stat!! How humiliating.
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I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!
this ho's boobs are halfway down her chest...terrible boob job, and if this is one of the "influential" Vegas night life people, Vegas really needs to step it up...and btw, Tiger you suck!!
Re:
Tiger should have told Jaimee to answer her phone with, "Good morning, this is Zales. How may I help you?"
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ROFLMFAO!!! This one makes my day, MK!
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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
Submitted by Triscuit on Wed, 12/02/2009 - 12:24pm.
hook it up!♥ We can tag team and make some CA$H!
You can't get an STD from plastic dildos,nigga!
♥
Hahahahhhaaaahhahahahahaha
edit to say: I AM KIDDING YOU FUCKS!
You have to clean the dildo THEN you can't get the HIV!
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We'd be latexed up, so no worries. Anyway, I'd show up to beat his self-hating ass, but no orifices would be involved. No, not even the tip.
Now that these prostitution whores know that they weren't the only ones and they weren't "in love" they will be coming out of the woodwork to get paid while the story is still hot.
Do you think he has a thing for ugly brunettes or are ugly brunettes the only skanks who would do him? I hope she divorces him. They may have a prenup, but she will get at least 25% of his income for child support. Divorce him now before his career and earning potential start going downhill.
What a cheap skanky looking ho-- tan, ugly face, flat ironed hair, circular breast implants. Is she one of the 31 most influential people in Vegas nightlife just because she had sex with Tiger? If so, can we expect to hear from the other 30?
"Good morning, this is Zales. How may I help you?" Come on, Tiger!" Another great example why MK is the FUCKING MAN!!!!!
I can't wait to log on to dlisted each morning.
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Waiting for Britney's next meltdown...
Its even worse when these men try and cover their lies. just goes to show you how self absorbed and without conscience they are.because, once a pig, always pig. There are men out there with the philosophy that they're missing out on all the fun by sleeping with just one Woman. So they start whoring around. And nothin can make them stop, or feel bad about it either. The stupid wife is in for a divorce now, or somewhere down the line because she's married to the wrong man. If shes smart, she'll get it over with now.
Submitted by pomegranate on Wed, 12/02/2009 - 11:52am.
What's funny is how this has backfired on the first ho-goes and hires Gloria Allred and perfects her pained woe-is-me, look, and no one gives a shit about her! Why should they when there's a ho who's more than willing to spew to the media?!
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Totally. Poor Gloria. She chased the wrong ambulance.
♥ Threadkilla!
"I told him to tell her to be herself. I think he did and now she's bein a whore!"
~ david Letterman - Staff Fucker
http://www.bestofthe2000s.com/media5.html
"piggy is listed and dlisted isn't! Fuckers." ~ TITS VOTE!
Pressure?? What pressures has this douchebag endured? The media? His golf games? What a crybaby weakling. Boo hoo!! Marriage sucks so I need to stick my peen in a slut.
You know MK - that's might have actually worked "Good Morning this is Zales" ROTFLMAO....Team Elin.
Wow! When it rains it sure does pour MK! Tiger is nothing but a little bitch who is desperate to protect his good guy image. He would still be banging those whores if he was never caught. Wonder when some girl is going to step forward and say she is pregnant or has a child with him.
Tiger tiger burning bright in the pussy's of the night,
Whose immortal hand or eye could frame they horndog symmetry?
Did he who made the ho's make thee?
Just improving Blake to hopefully offend practically everybody!
Tigerlilly, I totally agree w u: he's only sorry he was caught.
If he were truly sorry, the vm 4 the hoe would've been, "Listen, my favorite putica, my wife's reaction to suspecting I'm screwing around has brought me back to reality. I do not want to further lie to & hurt her & my kids. So, while it's been great fun wearing ur hole out, I'mma have to pull the cord on us & let u go. And just to make sure u understand how much I appreciate your discretion & ability to keep this on the DL, I'm sending u an early xmas gift of $50k (or however much it'll take)."
Hellz no. Instead, he tried 2 be slick & just throw Elin off by asking the hoe 2 change her vm recording, planned 2 lay low 4 a while & was sure 2 resume his Pussy Patrol shift asap. And this pendejo even leaves his totally unique name on the recording for the hoe! Bc a man can argue, "baby, there's 100 million Johns out there" but the world knows there's only one damn Tiger.
BTW, a random thought: between his wife & all the hoes, I wonder if Tiger's ever experienced a woman with natural breasts?????
Elin should stay with his ass or take half! There is no reason for her to give up that good money just because he likes to fuck skanks. I mean duh! He's a pro athlete.
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It really was love at first hate. ~ MK
@SueCalico
That's the whole point. He wants hos he can do and leave. His ball and chain is at home ruling the roost with an iron golf club, as it were.
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It really was love at first hate. ~ MK
His wife is a good looking woman, but the women he cheated on her with look cheap, disease-ridden hookers. What gives?
Submitted by nono on Wed, 12/02/2009 - 11:59am.
I agree. Just divorce her if you are so unhappy, Tiger. BTW, I don't think any pro-athlete under 70 is capable of monogomy. True story: I am friends with a woman whose father and bro were both pro football players. (The former even won a Superbowl.) She said if you are looking for a stable, monogomous relationship, do NOT get involved with a pro athlete.
I'm waiting for the announcement that they will go to counseling, followed by a sit down with Oprah and finally the divorce.
Submitted by PTCruiser on Wed, 12/02/2009 - 12:15pm.
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hook it up!♥ We can tag team and make some CA$H!
You can't get an STD from plastic dildos,nigga!
♥
Hahahahhhaaaahhahahahahaha
edit to say: I AM KIDDING YOU FUCKS!
You have to clean the dildo THEN you can't get the HIV!
Poor Elin. She couldn't have condoned any cheating because she was checking his phone and had a violent meltdown. You don't want to believe your man is cheating so you check his phone needing real evidence of betrayal. When you find out it's true, it can really fuck with your mind.
Hopefully she moves the hell on with her life. Every woman I know who has stayed with their cheating husband looks like shit because of all the stress of worrying if he's going to cheat again.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
Submitted by Triscuit on Wed, 12/02/2009 - 11:46am.
Submitted by PTCruiser on Wed, 12/02/2009 - 11:39am.
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Hahahaha...read my post on the Mrs.Keaton thread!
HaHaAhhh
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Triscuit, there's a Blasian billionaire golfer that needs you. Do a good deed and help him work it out! :-))))
oh, and take pics.
Submitted by Mrs. Nordy on Wed, 12/02/2009 - 11:52am.
Oh wow...checking his phone is pretty hard core. what an awful way to live.
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She was obviously suspicious enough of his actions to go as far as checking his phone.
What an awful way to live is under the impression you have a loving husband who'll stay true to his vows, only to find he's betrayed you and them, not to mention the list of diseases he's exposed you to.
Whats next, Tiger doing a threesome with a hot chick in Vegas and a small dog?
He confuses me. Just divorce her, I am sure you have a pre-nup. No instead you cheat for years with many women and live a lie. I can understand trying to keep and image, but cheating is way more tarnishing than divorcing. He is also unrepentant, he is only fessing up b/c she beat his ass and his car. Otherwise the cycle of him hoing and her stalking his ass would never end. I never kissed the ground he walked on like other people, and I sure as hell do not now. He is just another man-whore. Is any pro-athlete capable of fidelity?
Submitted by Bossy on Wed, 12/02/2009 - 11:04am.
It's so annoying when cheating hoes are found out and suddenly they start making public apologies. There's really no point. You're not sorry. If you were sorry, you would have stopped before being caught, you would have realized on your own that it was clearly wrong and you would have gone to your partner and told them even though you knew they wouldn't find out. THAT'S being sorry. Anything that comes out of your mouth once you're caught red handed is just garbage.
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He has to apologize publicly for PR reasons...don't want to lose any of those lucrative endorsement deals...but I do believe is is genuinely sorry, but only that he got caught.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by salacious on Wed, 12/02/2009 - 11:45am.
This golden boy image is what Nike does to the top athletes they sponsor, think of Jordan.
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True. He'll probably still come out on top of this though if the public excepts his apology. He's not the first, and he won't be the last.
what people aren't talking about is how he betrayed all of his mistresses, too!
What's funny is how this has backfired on the first ho-goes and hires Gloria Allred and perfects her pained woe-is-me, look, and no one gives a shit about her! Why should they when there's a ho who's more than willing to spew to the media?!
Oh wow...checking his phone is pretty hard core. what an awful way to live.
Think Nick Faldo will get the giggles from now on, every time he commentates about Tiger putting it in the hole?
tiger isn't sexy, looks-wise. but for many years he was the best golfer in the world. people treated him like Jesus on the Green. plus, he integrated a very segregated sport, and then dominated that sport thoroughly. of course women are gonna find that sexy - we are wired to find the Top Dog the sexiest dog, even of he looks like a brain-damaged Sharpei.
i think Tiger would be way too vain to fuck without a condom. he probably has all kinds of rules about what you can and can't do in bed, and i'm sure his doctors check his junk out on the regular. his wife, if she's smart, would require this. she's just embarassed it all is out in the open now.
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all i wanna do is (BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM)
and a (KA CHING)
and take your money
Ok. Random, but I'm procrastinating so don't judge. I did a fb check for his new skank and her myspace link came up...with her and a pic of Fergie haha. Who even really uses that anymore?! I guess she does b/c she just updated like yesterday.
Submitted by PTCruiser on Wed, 12/02/2009 - 11:39am.
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Hahahaha...read my post on the Mrs.Keaton thread!
HaHaAhhh
This golden boy image is what Nike does to the top athletes they sponsor, think of Jordan.
That being said, I can't wait for this to happen to Roger Federer. That blind item could actually be about him.
TTFN
The blind item also said the athlete like to be dominated sexually. He was brought up with a lot of discipline and his psyche needs the punishment.
Tiger in ballgag! LOL I hope some of these "ladiez" took pictures.
they are all WHORES!!!
Can't say I wouldn't hit that for some $$$ though!
HaHa♥