Tiger Woods Would Like To Apologize For His "Transgressions"
Just when I was hitting "publish" on my 10,678,978th Tiger Woods post of the week, he released a loooooonger than long statement on his website. The statement is so damn long that when you finish reading it, you'll feel like Elin just busted you in the skull with an iron. Get an ice pack ready and read if you care:
I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone.Although I am a well-known person and have made my career as a professional athlete, I have been dismayed to realize the full extent of what tabloid scrutiny really means. For the last week, my family and I have been hounded to expose intimate details of our personal lives. The stories in particular that physical violence played any role in the car accident were utterly false and malicious. Elin has always done more to support our family and shown more grace than anyone could possibly expect.
But no matter how intense curiosity about public figures can be, there is an important and deep principle at stake which is the right to some simple, human measure of privacy. I realize there are some who don’t share my view on that. But for me, the virtue of privacy is one that must be protected in matters that are intimate and within one’s own family. Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn’t have to mean public confessions.
Whatever regrets I have about letting my family down have been shared with and felt by us alone. I have given this a lot of reflection and thought and I believe that there is a point at which I must stick to that principle even though it’s difficult.
I will strive to be a better person and the husband and father that my family deserves. For all of those who have supported me over the years, I offer my profound apology. Blah...blah...blah...blah...
What's with all the damn words?! If you're going to talk, just be blunt. Tiger should've just issued a simple statement like: "I fucked some hos on the side. So if you see Elin smelling my crotch when I come home, you now know why. Now get off my dick (except for the cocktail waitresses out there) and leave me alone."
End scene.
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It's like he's the new, 'talented' media replacement for Jon Gosselin. Although just bringing his name back up makes me want to barf.
LOL,MK!
"Get off my dick. Cept 4 the cocktail waitress' out there."
Submitted by bambam on Wed, 12/02/2009 - 3:36pm.
What a perfect world we want to live in. Fuck up once and you're condemned for life.
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bambam, I agree with that. Having said that, I highly doubt it was once.
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You're not the only one who just smiled like a farting toddler~~ MK
dvz, you made me curious so I Googled that shit. Rupert Murdoch's divorce cost him $1.7 billion. Holy crap. Serves the cheating fuckers right.
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You're not the only one who just smiled like a farting toddler~~ MK
Yep, as I thought, this is going to go way past Amy Irving money (known later as Ms. Jordan's money) It looks like 300 million for Elin in honour of her way with clubs, and Tiger's way with skanks. Welcome to Elin Nordegrin money.....
http://wcbstv.com/sports/tiger.woods.affair.2.1346199.html
It doesn't matter if he never makes another dime in his entire life. He can give Elin half and still ride this out like a pimp.
Submitted by SpiceDong on Wed, 12/02/2009 - 11:12am.
God only knows what kind of STDs he exposed himself and Elin to...that's what's scariest about people who cheat...bringing home the nasty diseases they catch by fucking whores
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Exactly, guuuh my skin crawls at the thought.
he is not a real tiger, but a true dog...(don't mean to insult dogs on this)..
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Hey, I'm a Dog! Born the year of the Dog. Tiger is not born in a Tiger year. I believe he is a Rabbit, sorry Rabbits! I like Rabbits.
Anyhoo, the only reason this dufus apologized was because he got caught. I do like what the Swedish guy who introduced Woods and his wife said, "I thought he was a better man." Ouch!
Elin ain't going ghetto on his ass this time. She's going Grendel on that douchey dork. Rock on, Viking girl!
Why did the Tiger cross the road?
To get the Ho on the other side.
Heeheehee.
Elin shouldn't divorce him. Apparently, she's having the prenup rewritten as we speak to favor her bank account. She should stay married to him, spend all of his money, and hire a good looking manny or pool boy to keep her cozy when Mr. Woods is out of town. No one would be the wiser.
Dear Ho,
Thank you for keeping all the messages and texts from your illicit affair with a married man so that they can be released to the public at large. Nothing says charm, class, morals and that you two cheaters deserve each other more than the way you both have conducted yourselves.
Sincerely,
The public at large
Bitch Ipsa Locquiter (The bitch speaks for herself)
I always thought it was weird that somebody who was #1 in the world at something, would marry a - NANNY? Um, yeah, I'm sure they have lots to talk about.
Also, by the time you're 30, you know whether you're monogamous or not. Don't get married if you're not.
i wonder if tiger will place the race card...you know how badly the media treats the cablasians...
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A new kitty lapping up milk trumps old pussy coughing up hair balls any day.
He needed to have just taken FULL blame and not tried to blame the tabloid media for 'invading his privacy.' Yeah he's real private but he didn't mind doing all those very public tv commercials and endorsements for millions of dollars though did he?
Moral shit aside, releasing private stuff (voicemails etc) is fucking WRONG.
I would have done more to him the fuck up his Escalade with a golf club....ask Jane......Love, Blanche Hudson
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
LOOOOOL @ Neverevenknewhim!
I understand and accept that I will never be the top golf player in the world. But dammit, life still owes me a trophy husband!
Tigers not a Tiger anymore, he's a cheatah!!!!
Snideychick sez:
Dear Tiger,
I never paid any attention to you until this incident happened. Now I can go back to not caring about you. Go play your old-people game for obscene amounts of money, and rest assured that you do not have my attention.
Insincerely,
Snideychick
It became apparent that when Mrs. Woods started laying a 7 iron upside Tiger's wheels (and most probably took a couple swipes at his dome) at 2:30 in the morning that we were probably talking about him bumpin' uglies with more than one or two "ladies of comfort". How he could believe that the Tab's would never find out about his frolicking is beyond the Evil One but then guy's at Tiger's level really do think they wear Teflon suits and are bullet proof! Mr. Woods has created one hell of a mess for himself and probably a very expensive one too!
Tiger's wife is hot any way you slice it. Homie apparently is a slummer. I would love to hear what Tiger's mom has to say to him about all this crap.
Even with this admission, you just know that some fuckers still believe Tiger could not have cheated because he is such a "good guy", not to mention men are angels and all women are hos who make shit up just to ruin good men's lives... Come on, just because you are a whore it doesn't necessarily mean you a liar... I gotta say though, them bitches Tiger got to bone are discusteen...
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Huh?? He didn't screw up once. He got caught once for his multiple screw ups which he admitted to.
What a perfect world we want to live in. Fuck up once and you're condemned for life.
I don't get how these nasty hos think it's okay to be with married men? They have absolutely no shame. And then to announce on TV, yeah, I slept with him 20 times blah, blah, blah.... Disgusting Fame Whores.
I like his wife. I like the fact that she isn't putting up with his shit and confronted his ass and called that one girl. I hope she takes the kids, the dogs, and about 500 million dollars with her. Team Chola Reese!
Yeah, I like MK's statement better too. It's short and to the point. As for Elin, IMO she is absolutely gorgeous and she seems to truly love him. I hope she moves on because she deserves better and he will only continue to hurt and disrespect her.
I feel bad for his children.
"I fucked some hos on the side. So if you see Elin smelling my crotch when I come home, you now know why. Now get off my dick (except for the cocktail waitresses out there) and leave me alone."
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MK - I wish you had a job as PR for someone...maybe everyone. Life really would be so much simpler.
♥ Threadkilla!
"I told him to tell her to be herself. I think he did and now she's bein a whore!"
~ david Letterman - Staff Fucker
http://www.bestofthe2000s.com/media5.html
"piggy is listed and dlisted isn't! Fuckers." ~ TITS VOTE!
Golden Showers.... ew.
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"The Count on Sesame Street is scarier and more captivating than those preening whack vamps from Twilight." DListed user Master Blaster 6/09/09 (So true!)
Follow me on Twitter @t_rex_arms
I work with a girl who has had endless flings with married men. She is not attractive at all. She is a dirty ho though, there is nothing she won't do in bed,I get to hear about all her threesomes and golden showers etc. She shags these guys and then leaves. Some men like that, knowing that they don't have to listen to any talk.
If I was Elin, I'd walk. Everyone knows her husband is a turd, and feels either pity for her, or is having a good laugh.
peopleperson: good to see you! The madonna and whore complex: so many men have that ingrained in them. It's disturbing.
Off to stuff my face with pizza!
Am I the only one bored by this shit already?
@MizRo
I concur. They want dirty hos they don't have to listen to. Often, the mistresses are less attractive than the wives and are good in bed. Some men do really like slutty, sex bomb chicks...just not as wives.
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It really was love at first hate. ~ MK
For some reason, ILovePapaSmurf, I find that alot of men that cheat, cheat with women that are less intelligent, less attractive, less interesting than their wives!
Look at Elin and look at the 2 he was with: Elin is naturally prettier and has a better figure than both of them!
2009 will go down in history as the year the word "transgressions" became synonymous with sticking your dick in at least three different women that weren't your wife. I need to start keeping more of my text messages in case some trick I bone turns out to be famous.
I thought when you cheated on someone you were supposed to upgrade to hotter women...
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"The Count on Sesame Street is scarier and more captivating than those preening whack vamps from Twilight." DListed user Master Blaster 6/09/09 (So true!)
Follow me on Twitter @t_rex_arms
APOLOGIZE. Bitch, Prease. Let's all salute Elin Nordegren and welcome her into the "PUNISHER'S CLUB"!
See her swingin hard and aimin low here: http://www.ButYoureLikeReallyPretty.com
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Updated every HUMP DAY: http://www.butyourelikereallypretty.com
SO....I have to scroll down, click LAST, then read the comments scrolling up, then scroll back down, then hit PREV to read comments in order? WTF?
I am shocked.
Utterly and completely shocked, I tell you.
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"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
MK I love your Tiger statement waaaaaaaaaay better!
LMAO!!!!
Funny shit!
Oh I feel so let down because sports personalities are the epitome of taste, intelligence, and morality.
He isn't going to lose his endorsements. Hell, David Beckham fucks around all the time and still has his. Also, Beckham really played the family man thing and pimped out the kids. At least Tiger never really did that although he is still a douchebag for cheating on his wife.
Oy! Privacy, privacy, privacy!
Doesn't he know, this wotrld has changed so much with all the technology...
NOTHING is private anymore unfortunately and it doesn't help when you're completely stupid and leave tracks like voicemails, texts, etc...
I hope all his endorsemens get yanked.
When you position yourself as a role model for kids while cheating on your family you eliminated any trust you have with the public and stamped yourself HYPOCRITE and LIAR.
Enjoy wallowing in your mess Tiger Woods.
on behalf of all tigers (I was born in the year of the tiger) and my kitten's name is Tiger...cause she looks like a baby tiger...I am embarrassed to the nines for this stupid tiger. I mean for realz, highest paid athlete in the world, and he thinks these skank hos are not going to record his calls, keep his texts, and do everything and anything to cash in on their brush with fame, but the saddest is the fact that these are nothing more than skanks...no class or real beauty....they must just be great at sex...and he is not a real tiger, but a true dog...(don't mean to insult dogs on this)...so with that Elin, pleae PLEASE divorce him and take him for all he is worth. You are way to good for him, and you need someone who will respect you and put you on the pedastal that you deserve, but before you leave him will you please just hit him in the cajones with a 9 iron and damage his dick for good!!
He's an asshole that got caught. Meeeehhhhhhhh. The celeb world is absolutely uninspiring and boring as fuck.
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2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"Sam put drugs in Britney's biscuits"
HAH at the tmz article about Elin calling Tiger's whore and confronting her. YOU GO GIRL DAMN
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 12/02/2009 - 11:46am.
Golf is a sport like Poker and Pool are sports...
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totally fuckin untrue. golf is a sport like baseball iss a sport. you can be an overweight schmuck and still play it.
i find golf boring as hell, but it IS a sport.
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all i wanna do is (BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM)
and a (KA CHING)
and take your money