Thursday, December 3rd 2009
Suck & Pop
If you put your ear up to these pictures, you can almost hear the cries from all the pairs of Spanx keeping Mimi together. If you opened her dress, it would probably look like MacGyver was there. Homegirl is held down with Spanx, ropes, girdles, rubber, wires and every kind of tape known to man. Mimi just needs to let out a loooooong exhale and free herself! Rip up the Spanx, burn the girdles and learn to breathe again. That's what Hello Kitty would want.
Seriously, Mimi always looks like me trying to hold in a wet fart in a crowded elevator. And trust me, it isn't exactly comfortable. It fucks with you.
Here's Mimi sucking and popping that ass with her husband Nick Cannon at UNICEF's Snowflake Ball in NYC last night.
• 
thanks for telling, congratz for being pregnant..!
sticker printing | folder printing
Mariah does look like a little person if you cut her off at the knees. (sorry little people)
She looks like Nick's mom. This is just gross.
Mooriah-please go away.
all that money and she doesn't know how to dress.
The must be the Extra Strength Spanx they're selling to celebrities these days. You wonder why her middle looks like it doesn't move, she probably has not really relaxed and breathed outwardly in years judging from the outfits she tries to wear. She gained weight quickly these past year tho, I'm a little surprised. Must have been getting married to Nick, at some point she ceased caring and decided to enjoy the calories.
"When dick is rancid, you know as soon as you pull the fly down. Seriously, you can smell it right away. It's like a week-old grilled cheese sandwich lying on a hot subway seat in the middle of August."
Submitted by ScarfnBarf on Fri, 12/04/2009 - 1:53am.
She has the lesbian missing an upper lip syndrome.
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Ha...I thought I was the only person who knew about that syndrome? Do you think that the super thin lip has something to do with a lower level of estrogen? That's always been my theory.
She has gained a lot of weight...I cant stand her, but I dont think her body is THAT horrendous. She just dresses & styles herself so inappropriately for her age, body type & the year 2009.
She's built like a linebacker!!!! ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!!!!!
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"Escandalo! Okay, I'm totally making shit up." ~ M.K. 08/31/09
one word:
GROSS
she is trying so hard & looks dated.
I want to understand why she has her butt skootched out in every shot? Why is she doing that? is it so she won't be taller than him or what? it is not a good look. It makes her look like she is afraid to put her va jay jay next to him. Really.Don't.Understand.
When is someone going to tell this heifer????
Shes becoming like a caricature of herself -
becoming more and more drag queen like...
For gods sake start covering up dear.
Hey -I bet her new video (where shes writhing on the beach like a glittery beached whale)is gonna look quite different by the time the photo shopping dept is done-shes gonna look like a super model- what a shame we saw the before-
Tee Hee!!
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
Honestly, I want to know exactly what kind of super-strength Spanx this chick wears. I've seen those recent bathing-suit-on-the-beach pics - she's got to be working some kind of industrial strength undergarment in this outfit.
One thing I've got to give Mariah is that she's got some confidence. No matter how thin or meaty she is, she exudes this attitude that says, "man, am I sexy or what?". I may not always agree with her outfits, but NOTHING stops her from feeling sexy and trying to dress the part. Good for her.
Deep in her heart, Mariah wants to be a trailer dwelling white trash ho with an alcoholic husband who she beats with a frying pan.
I don't get how she's the one who comes off like she married up.
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Uvula/vulva.....hell, it's all pink on the inside anyway. - Sweet Babu
The wet fart in the elevator thing is killing me! hahaha
Is she borrowing James Harrison's shoulders or something?
Nick always looks like such a fucktard chasing her around all the time. Grow a set you little pussy!
I wonder if she ever breathes cause she's always sucking it in. She must faint a couple times a day.
She's so tacky. Without Tommy Moto's money, bitch would be nowhere. Her husband looks like he's trying hard not to set off McGyver's bomb underneath mimi's clothes in thumb 2.
Submitted by get serious on Thu, 12/03/2009 - 10:25pm.
She's always been weird like that, only wanting to be photographed from the right side. If you look at the pictures from when she married Tommy Mottola, she's twisting around trying to only show the right side of her face. Very odd looking.
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"Watch the face, Asshole!" -BK
TEAM ELIN!
starfishing:
You don't get that big of a sentence for just threats.
Da Brat looks like a lights, cameras, action type of slut to me!
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
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Submitted by TheBreakdown on Fri, 12/04/2009 - 7:03am.
starfishing:
I am even further away than you,
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i saw he get sentenced on you tube. damn,for a bottle assault. did you actually do the assault or just threaten to? oh well..
:)
Those aren't smiles on their faces, they're grimaces, just for different reasons.
I'd hate to be the spanx holding THAT in!! That girdle is ready to blow.
starfishing:
I am even further away than you, but last time I checked it out she was sentenced to do about 3-5.
Piece of cake for her.
She'll be the head bulldagga in the celly!
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
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Submitted by TheBreakdown on Fri, 12/04/2009 - 3:59am.
BEAT:
Da Brat is in jail.
And Mariah is wearing black and it is still not slimming!
Pity.
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How much time did DaBrat get?? I live in Ireland now and haven't seen much entertainment new's.
She looks like she is trying to keep her crotch as far away from her husband as possible.
Does she actually look at these pics afterwards? I hope so. Whatever contraptions she used to slim her middle make her look like a freak.
Mariah, fire your stylist NOW. You look shittier and shittier every time I see you. You have Pam Anderson syndrome.
BEAT:
Da Brat is in jail.
And Mariah is wearing black and it is still not slimming!
Pity.
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
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This chick is channeling Mae West. She'll be dressing the same way 25 years from now, acting like a deluded princess diva, trust.
She has the lesbian missing an upper lip syndrome.
The fat has to go somewhere. Bet she has back titties.
.
.
She doesn't look like this in person. I don't understand why her body photographs so fucked up.
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I like living this way. I like loving this way.
She sure looks like she is about to burst at the seams.
looks like her back's pregnant.
She looks horrible. She always looks so uncomfortable shoving herself into dresses 3 sizes too small. Dumbass makes herself look fat all the time.
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It took me a little while to discover
Wolves in sheep coats who pretend to be lovers
Men who lack conscience will even lie to themselves, to themselves
- Lauryn Hill
She looks gorgeous better than some twenty something Ie. Britney , lindsay and tons of women are praying that they look that good at 40.
Bitch looks like she's about to swallow him whole in the 4th thumbnail. DAMN!!!
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I'm countin' on Jesus at this point.
She actually looks very youthful for her age and looks beautiful here as well. Mariah simply doesn't need those large fake breats.
The dress does nothing for her either but it isn't as tight as what she usually wears. She is thick and has gained weight but could use it to her advantage. It would be easy for her to look damn sexy with her current figure but she doesn't know how to dress.
"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. "
they look so fake together...she married the wrong dude, she needs someone older, that is obvious...at least he lets her get big, but I don't know he actually looks scared of her...weird.
Mimi, own the chunk 'til you call up Jenny Craig...It' ain't like you obese or nuffin' but if yo' azz wanna wear all that ho gear in the size you wanna wear it, then you need Jenny, baby...Otherwise just dress like a SESSAY 40 year old size 10 (I'm bein' nice here) DIVA and show up someyoung assed skinny bitches...It CAN be done and you have the chichi's to do it....just not in that disaster you chose to cloak yourself in for god knows what reason....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Bitch should just learn to take laxatives. We all know her tits are fake, we've seen them enough for the past 10+ years.
Her porn lookalike, Mary Carey, is much hotter.
OMG, that is freaking hilarious. Old Ham Hock Mimi looks HUGE next to her toy-boy. And that back fat is looking mighty chunkalicious. Home girl puts the hunk in chunk. She's a whole lotta hunka chunk.
Paging Porky Pig, paging Porky Pig...
Look at that body language! It's obvious Nick isn't into her.
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Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Thu, 12/03/2009
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Werd. She is ONE STEP away from flinging poo.
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FLINGING POO???? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *dies*...but uh, just between you, me and the lamp post what's so wrong with flinging poo...*hides stinky tiger paw behind tiger back*...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Alright, enough of little miss hello kitty sunshine rainbows lollipops & unicorns; she's getting really annoying. She was hot 20 years ago, but not so much now. She hasn't become Aretha Franklin yet (body wise), but she's headed in that direction. Also, did you notice that she's always photographed on the same side? I've heard she's told photographers that it's OK to shoot her picture, as long as it's her right side. If it's her left side in a photo, she demands they destroy the film or she will never allow them to shoot her again.
I hope everyone there at the photo shoot had the common sense to not go near those haunches of hers stuffed in lycra; one rip in the material & those babies are gonna blow!
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
I must say this dress is a step in the right direction (almost there) - She suffers from the same problem as Jessica Simpson, not fat, just not skinny and they have big breasts and if you aren't really careful (can't cover em up too much and can't expose them too much, it's a problem,)some outfits can make you look bigger or heavy because of those things...Now Jennifer Hudson is a full figured woman who usually looks really nice - proper clothes and she doesn't cover up, but she is put together, subtle and classy -
Is this the same whale that we saw in those beach pictures? Yeah the impact of the explosion from this dress could kill someone.
No comment. I think she looks her age for once.
Have you noticed all the pictures of them are her hanging on him and kissing him like she is in damn high school?
SHE NEEDS TO BREATHE!!
Coma Caca!!
She looks terrible. Not because she's 40, but because she simply refuses to lay off the junk food and exercise for once. Doesn't she look at herself before she leaves the house?
Give me back my goddamn HELMET!
is that cleavage or are those her thighs?