Ambien Sex?
So, Radar is saying that Rachel Uchitel told friends that Tiger Woods was hooked on having "Ambien Sex" with her. Apparently, Rachel said, "You know you have crazier sex on Ambien - you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex."
I feel like an innocent virgin again, because I have never heard of this shit before. My parts have been fucking with wrong bitches, I guess.
After doing some research (aka a ten second Google search and an IM conversation with one of my sluttier friends), I learned that when you're fucking in an Ambien haze, you will do some kinky shit that you wouldn't normally do when sober. When you wake up the next morning with a severed monkey paw in your anus and a butt plug in your mouth, you won't remember what you did the night before. Cut to Gerard Butler saying, "Welcome to my world."
The last time I took Ambien, the sexiest thing I did was hug my pillow really tight and slobber all over it. I need to ask my doctor for "that kind" of Ambien (wink wink).
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I have to be honest, if you can fight off the desire to sleep, the sex is totally hot after you've taken Ambien. It's so relaxing and intense at the same time.
Who's got some Ambien stories? I'm totally fascinated by this Ambien-fugue thing... ________________________________________________
"God make me good. But not yet."
@Angelface - Wow. Just...wow.
*makes note to self NEVER to take Ambien*
Shit, man.
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"God make me good. But not yet."
Michael K. you make me laugh out loud everyday with your hysterical comments. I love you!
Learn something new everyday. Sometimes it's stupid crap but it's still something new....
EVERYTHING you need to know — and I mean YOU Michael K — about Ambien can be learned from this gem: http://liz.vox.com/library/post/the-ambien-cookbook.html
It's oddly comforting to hear that other people have had similar experiences while on the Ambien. I took it several years back when my father died and had no problems whatsoever, just a glorious, peaceful night's sleep. However, when I began taking it again about two years ago, I started doing some crazzzzzy ass shit. From eating half the fridge to standing above my sleeping husband shining a flashlight in his face to seeing "ghosts" standing in my kitchen and on several occassions ordering a bunch of shit online and not realizing it until the items arrived on my door step. Sometimes I remember these incidents, other times I only had the leftover "evidence" to fill me in on what I had done. The one positive side effect was that my hubby and I did have some amazing, often kinkier than normal sex. Again, sometimes I would remember parts of it (like being REALLY drunk and only remembering pieces of the night) other times I would recall absolutely nothing and only realize we had "done it" after my husband would make a comment or send me a text thanking me for giving it up the night before. It got to the point that EVERY time I took a pill I would pretty much attack my husband, which of course he couldn't have been happier about. Most of the events were harmless or even fun, until one night in my Ambien induced haze I ended up taking the entire bottle of 30. Thank God my husband was awake and realized what I had done and was able to convince me to make myself throw up before any real damage was done. I was actually surprised at how little taking 30 pills ended up effecting me, maybe it was because I threw them up quick enough, I don't know, but I do know that was the end of the Ambien for me! Not worth dying or worse hurting someone else over!
i suppose ambien is the new ghb or liquid g.
Read on RumerMills.com there is a sex tape!!
This time last week I would have thought it inconceivable Tiger Woods appearing in a sex tape but after the weeks load of evidence produced I am honestly not surprised.
Only question is which mistress, my money was on Rachel Uchitel until I heard were 5 more mistresses.....
www.rumermills.com/Tiger-Woods/
Team Valtrex +3
it sounds as kinky as sex on roofies. that is if you want no memory of what took place or the ugly ho's face.
Sing out Louise!
I thougt I was the only one who does thiwsometimre sskhsve to frrreeeredkm abywat t `jw trtttt4amdin ja dewads
Ambien. Aces. My inner ho may be excused.
I could never take Ambien, I don't want to unconciously eat the entire contents of my refrigerator or sleepfuck my neighbor. Hell, I don't want to awake fuck my neighbor. Maybe if I lived next to someone hotter and needed an alibi...
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Centaurious on Fri, 12/04/2009 - 2:11pm.
Hi Angeli!, How many people are out there driving around on Ambien?!?! Ack!
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Tell me about it. I was so shaken up I started crying.
It was very hard for me without it; I didn't sleep for months, but I'd rather be suffering in my own bed than tooling around the road with complete amnesia/asleep killing innocent people...
I have since read that this is not an uncommon side effect.
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Driving without knowing you're doing it?!?
OMG. It really is the zombie invasion RIGHT. NOW!
(but surrsly, that's brutal - I'm glad you're ok:)
♥ Threadkilla!
"I told him to tell her to be herself. I think he did and now she's bein a whore!"
~ david Letterman - Staff Fucker
http://www.bestofthe2000s.com/media5.html
"piggy is listed and dlisted isn't! Fuckers." ~ TITS VOTE!
Ive been on ambien for over 8 years, and yep, ambien sex is awesome. ambien anything is awesome. that reminds me, i gotta go take one..
Isn't a golfer on Ambien just being redundant? Save your money, watch golf for 13 seconds. Best sleep ever!
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 12/04/2009 - 9:55pm.
In Tiger's defense, if he was an athlete, like say an NBA player or something, he'd have about 15 kids by 18 women by now. Golfers don't exert themselves like that.
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Don't underestimate Tigers...One of his ho's (at least) is knocked up...I'm bettin' it's the skank that hired Gloria Allred and backed out of the 'press release'....Bitch got Maury Povich situation written all over her fake ass duck bill...M'mmm...Bitch got a tiger cub in her oven of skank....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
In Tiger's defense, if he was an athlete, like say an NBA player or something, he'd have about 15 kids by 18 women by now. Golfers don't exert themselves like that.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Tiger isn't taking the date-coma-inducing Ambien himself, he's giving it to his skanks so he can do all kinds of sick necrophilia type shit to them without their knowledge. Sped looking mother fucker probably fakes like he's taking the drug too so they'll comply and then once his skank-of-choice is out cold, he puts a blonde 'Elin' wig on them and fucks their warm corpse like the anal tearing, spinal tapping, ear-eye-nose-mouth raping, bug-eyed, fugly freak that he is. You know, so 'they' will 'do' all the 'things' that the wife won't do because wifey doesn't want to end up crying and bleeding in a fetal position and needing therapy for life.
Karma is a real bitch, eh Tigey?
@peaches80: OMG, I didn't know there was a website with recent pics of Memebon! Even a video! LOL "Uncle Fuku is in a surprisingly pleasant mood"! Is that your website? So cool!
It's true. I love ambien more than my dog kinda.
I cant stand Tiger woods. Buts lets get real here. He doesn't need to lose his endorsements over this. As much as advertisers do business with athletes, they should already know what scum they're dealing with. They'll turn the other way until this blows over, then business as usual. Fucking sluts (even while married) is hardly illegal.
This whore is spilling the details. Wow, she's just gonna tell all.
Thats what you get for cheating on your wife Tiger.
"The last time I took Ambien, the sexiest thing I did was hug my pillow really tight and slobber all over it."
I love you, MK. You are the highlight of my every day!
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Personally, I think Steven is just one of those natural crackheads. You know, those hos who act strung out, but aren't. They are primarily known as "Born-Again Christians." --MK
Submitted by babybunny on Fri, 12/04/2009 - 2:38pm.
LOL miniature golf
Submitted by easyaspie2 on Fri, 12/04/2009 - 4:18pm.
LOLL
Completely seriously, if you have trouble sleeping, ask your doc for Trazodone. I take 50mg at night & it works a treat. You don't get high, you get really sleepy.
"You cross me again Rosie & I'll make a handbag out of you."
Submitted by LongIslandLolita on Fri, 12/04/2009 - 2:23pm.
My problem too. Except I did ask my husband to have an ambien party with me tonight. If you take it on an empty stomach, it works much better. Works even BETTER with a klonopin beforehand. ;)
A severed monkey's paw, eh?
I confess I find it a wee bit enticing :)
Santa Ana Winds:
Now see?
I don't want to take any drug that knocks me out like THAT.
Just give me a bong and I'll deal.
Sheeit!
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What ever happened to good old regular fucking? You have to be pretty numb from the waist down to need to screw on Ambien.
I KNEW IT! I CALLED IT FROM THE MOMENT I HEARD THE STORY OF THE CAR CRASH. HEY TMZ!! I NEED A JOB!!
WHAT? I feel like an innocent virgin too MK - THANKS!! Now I want some Ambien but then if I don't remember it that's no fun....maybe a video... but then it would be all over YouTube!!
I gotta call some friends at SC to test this out.
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Submitted by Santa Ana Winds on Fri, 12/04/2009 - 3:19pm.
The USC Trojan marching band could come through my house after I've taken that and I wouldn't wake
MK - You have SLUTTIER friends?
Oh dear.
You guys want the best night's sleep ever? Try Halcion. I've never had better sleep. You don't wake up after 4 hours and it doesn't leave you with that hungover feeling the next day. Some doctors don't like to prescribe it but I don't know why.
Don't take it if you're alone and you're a heavy sleeper anyway. You might not wake up if you REALLY needed to. The USC Trojan marching band could come through my house after I've taken that and I wouldn't wake up!
LOL KD, Slow Cow is like the opposite of Red Bull? LMAO
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
Ha! I just told the gay husband that I expected to hear a "Tiger has a drug problem and will be entering Promises" story in 10, 9, 8 ,7.
When the career is in jeopardy because of a sex scandal, rehab and the Oprah couch will save your endorsements every time.
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I am not a pussy.
OMG OMG that is true about the snoring, I forgot about that!!!!!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
@ chlyn
he is soooooooooooooooo cute !
love him !
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FUCK YEAH MEMEBON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/peaches2709/
http://fuckyeahmemebon.tumblr.com/
Submitted by chlyn on Fri, 12/04/2009 - 2:38pm.
@peaches80: MEMEBON!!!!! xoxoxoxox
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YEY!!!!!!
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FUCK YEAH MEMEBON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/peaches2709/
http://fuckyeahmemebon.tumblr.com/
I know a very ancient old lady who told me that she loves the Ambien and highly recommended it to me. Now I have terrible images, and I think I know why her little elderly husband looks so exhausted and at the brink of death.
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ASUUU MADREEE!!!!!
It can't be as good as Quaalude Sex !
She’s a very sensitive lady
She’s always at the breaking point
She’s always on her guard
She’s the fairest of them all
She loves her adderall
She’s kicking out the windows in your car
'The Felice Brothers'
I have another spin on the Ambien sex deal. You don't even **remember** sex the next day. I, who am tired of being with the same person for decades, often have zero or scant memory of anything at all that happens at night. And I'm told I am the aggressor -- which'd never happen under normal circumstances!
@peaches80: MEMEBON!!!!! xoxoxoxox
I wonder if Tiger was on Ambien when he fell asleep on the lawn after the accident.
CNN reported this morning that neighbors who came running after the accident said neither he nor his wife were saying anything, and that when someone put a blanket over Tiger, who was laying on the ground, he fell asleep and was snoring.
dayum, this ho has no shame...sounds like they deserve each other, I can see tiger being broke and having to play golf at the mini golf courses..while this ho is with him...she is not golf tourney material...only serious skank material.
george bush was on ambien and
he threw up on japan's prime minister
"a severed monkey paw in your anus and a butt plug in your mouth" WTF? LOL Only MK can talk like this.