Monday, December 7th 2009
Open Post: Hosted By Cristiano Ronaldo's Illegal Striptease
After Real Madrid's Cristiano Ronaldo ripped off shirt during a game against Almeria, he was given a foul by the referee. The referee obviously doesn't like tiny nipples or chests as smooth as a porn star's snatch. Personally, I think Cristiano should get a foul if he doesn't take off his top and show them titties.
Okay, okay, the truth is, Cristiano has never made me want to suck on my own finger. But I'll always have a soft spot (insert your own joke about my b-hole here) for him because of his expertly manicured eyebrows.
• 
i think there is something wrong with him......!
sticker printing | folder printing
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Send Christmas Gifts. Buy more to send. On this site __ http://www.googlejoy.com
http://www.googlejoy.com
sneaker: airmax 90, 95 etc $35-42 free shiping.
boots: UGG etc $60 free shiping.
Jeans : polo etc $35-49 free shipping
T-shirts : A&f etc $12-18 free shipping.
hoodies: 5ive etc $28-40 free shipping
handbags: Ed hardy etc $35-68 free shipping
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@The Breakdown - always good to have something juicy to read in the wee small hours. Which, like, its NOT anymore. I have to work now.
Kissmyass!
Screw! Seriously, it's all good. I really DO love my work. Time for me to smack some loser Gamer-boy kids (and one grown Gamer-man) up.
________________________________________________
"God make me good. But not yet."
Christiano is all-man - he likes to fuck fish and nothing else.
Are there nude photos of Christiano?
Heaux Confessionals
Greek Mothers Are Evil (The Sexth Sense)
I'd been getting the run-around from my (#1) Greek lover ever since I got here so as you have read, I've been making side-trick arrangements. I refuse to have a drought in this country too!
And how has he dissed me thus far?
Little or no outward affection.
Check.
Leaving our dates early to take his mother to the doctor.
Check.
No kisses on the lips.
Check, goddamit!!
Would you ignore these big ass suction cups?
Hell to the naw!
So just as I was re-considering the order of the top candidates in my power of three, Sotiris calls in the morning with a plan for a little more intimate time.
Maybe finally he was getting with the heaux-gram.
"Meet me in front of Hondos shopping center at 11:30", he texted me around ten.
When I arrive, I receive another message from Sotiris.
"I'm running fifteen minutes late. I'll explain when I arrive."
He did not have to explain. I could sense where this tardiness was coming from.
Already our plans were being altered. Because of HER.
AGAIN.
"Sorry for being late, but my mother called me on the way and she wants me to pick up her glasses she left at this office downtown today. So we can go there first before we go to Jose's house to be alone."
"No problem", I smiled yet inwardly groaned. He did not know that in the past 48 hours, a DJ had saved my sex life and I'd had to take the trick walk of shame home this morning after spending a little quality time with another Greek NOT named Sotiris.
Don't judge me. Remember my drought, heauxz!
"Don't worry. It's on the way", Sotiris reassured me.
"I'm not worried", I said, crossing the street in Omonia Square. As long as I saw his tan lines today all would be forgiven and well in the universe.
When we arrived at the office, there was no one there and so we made a beeline to Jose's office, where he was waiting to provide Sotiris with the keys to his house for us to use."
"Have fun, guys!", Jose said, waving us off as he returned to his office.
On the way to the flat, Sotiris gave me a tour of this side of Athens, which was much cleaner and smelled less like piss and peanuts.
"All I know is that the strike needs to end soon so they can get all this trash off the streets", I said, turning my nose up in disgust at another pile of garbage on the side of the street. 'Omonia Square needs a heavy dose of ammonia. It smells like rancid swamp pussy!"
"It usually is not this bad in Athens, but this is really unfortunate while you are here, because it is leaving not the best impression."
"Damn right. The impression I am getting is that I could just shit on the streets and no one would notice a significant difference".
"Well, this area is much nicer than the one you are staying near", he said.
"Define much", I countered. As far as I was concerned, Athens needed to be blown up after three thousand years of civilization and resurrected from scratch.
After passing through more trash, excrement and God knows what else, we'd reached Jose's flat and we were on the fourth floor, peeling off our clothes. Then she interrupted again.
"Could you please be quiet because it's my mother", Sotiris explained, jumping off the bed and running towards the dining room table.
And I'd been warned by heaux confidantes about Greek men and their relationships with their mothers. If you dated one, you ran the risk of a built-in menage a trois. It was beginning to ring more and more true, which meant I was beginning to lean closer and closer to the old standby...
The classic fuck and flee.
Sotiris' mother may not have her glasses but obviously her senses were still heightened enough to see what I was trying to do to her son. I would not be deterred by this potential cock blockage!!!
"Do you have a pen?", he asked me from the other side of the wall.
"Yeah, it's in my backpack", I whispered from the bed. I was not about to get out of bed to aid her schemes any further.
In a few minutes, Sotiris was back in bed and I was giving him a massage and I'd finally seen one of the things I'd been waiting to see.
"There's those tan lines I like so much", I smiled at him from behind, as he lay in front of me. "Tan lines in November? That's just criminal. I am so jealous."
"I'm glad you can see them again", he said, turning to the side. "I cannot believe we are seeing one another again in my city this time."
"Me either", I replied.
Sotiris and I had had a torrid lust affair in Berlin when he'd come to visit a few months prior. We'd remained in contact and there was a shared interest in seeing one another again if the opportunity ever presented itself. He was sweet, he was hot, and he was Greek. I'd never been to Greece before him. And now that I'd imported him to Germany, I was exporting myself to Greece.
FedSex.
And just as we were about to do what we had come there to do, the phone rang again and I did not even have to guess who it was. I knew.
It was my sexth sense.
"Sorry", Sotiris said, excusing himself from the bed again and making a return to the dining room table. I saw him jotting down something and when he returned he looked frantic.
"We don't have heaps of time now", he began. "That was my mother calling. We have to return to that office by four to pick up those glasses. She needs them before she and my father travel to their summer home tomorrow."
I looked at the clock and the time showed we had less than half an hour to make the connection. She was not going to prolong my penetration much longer, damn her!
"Well, let's get it on!", I yelled, pinning him down and reaching for the condom. We'd had enough foreplay even through her distractions, so this was just going to be the reward for getting through that.
"I just ella'ed", I said when I'd felt the Greek rush!
"Ella means come", Sotiris explained, grinning. "But not in this way."
"Allow me my goddamn fantasy!", I laughed at him, grabbing a towel.
"OK, now we really have to be quick because we don't have that much time!" Sotiris jumped up and began fixing Jose's flat back into its original condition before we'd entered it.
Five minutes later, we were out of the apartment and nearly flying back to Omonia Square to pickup Mama Soti's bifocals.
She could see alot better than Sotiris was giving her credit for.
"Sorry for rushing but I really have to get these."
"It's OK. You go on to the office. I am just gonna stop and buy something to eat while you pick up these glasses. When I saw a sandwich shop to my liking, I made a motion for Sotiris to continue on and I walked up to the counter for my order. When he returned, Sotiris was breathing normally again.
"Sorry for all of that again", he began. I stopped him before I had to hear this again.
"No worries. Once I've eaten, I am fine. Now you can do whatever."
"Well, now we have to go return these keys back to Jose."
We took the train back to Jose and when we returned, he could see the halo of HOliness hovering over us.
"So I see that you're both tired", Jose joked as he took the keys from Sotiris.
"I'm just tired from last night", I said. I was not lying. Last night had really been this morning as well.
"Mmm hmmm", Jose smiled.
"Thanks again, Jose", Sotiris said. And with that we were off again to the train station and I was left pondering the rest of my day.
"So what else are you going to do today?''
Count the time on my refractory period? It might be a tad behind today considering my past day.
On the way, Sotiris decided to slow down and we sat on the park for a brief chat. As we did so, Sotiris leaned in.
"You see that man right there", he pointed to the older-looking gentleman passing on the sidewalk. "That is the King of Greece. Well, former King."
"Now I really have something to tell my American friends. I've been in the same airspace as royalty!"
"Well, not so fast. He was exiled."
"Well, they won't know that!", I explained. "Most Americans have no clue if you all have a king or not."
"And how have you found Greece?"
"I really had no expectations of this city or country. It's all Greek to me!"
"And how do you find the people? The men and women?"
"Well, I find that the men fare better than the men in terms of looks." Plus, the men seemed to have all their senses, with no need for visual assistance.
We made out way back to the center by train and when we reached Metaxiourghio, I bid adieu to my (#1) Greek lover.
Still.
I was not going to release him just yet.
"I really enjoyed today. Sorry for the rush." Sotiris grabbed my hand.
In public.
Maybe he was coming around.
"No worries. I enjoyed myself. And you. And I want to see you again."
Yes, I said it. Mama Sotiris had not seen the last of me!!!
She was not the only one with the sexth sense!
***************************************
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
xadesmultimedia@gmail.com
ESE, I have no idea if you're still here, but I always find that copious quantities of the hooch help ME stay inside the lines, especially when I'm driving.
KIDDING! Don't drink and drive, kids.
And Dan Fogelberg? HAHAHA!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxW8CuLs1sk
I think I made out to that song when I was a young pup. :)
guess not... some people just aren't into the wholesome fun of coloring books anymore.... damn you all with your video games and Dan Fogelberg records!!
-----------------------------
"Amidst the grass,
fresh air at last.
Wining, dining, biding his time."
so, does anyone have any advice on how to stay inside the lines in a coloring book?... this is driving me crazy!
-----------------------------
"Amidst the grass,
fresh air at last.
Wining, dining, biding his time."
Submitted by jacots on Mon, 12/07/2009 - 9:08pm
****************
Great. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, now we have dancing zits spamming us.
He is so handsome. Her blog and photos were found at a dating site ageromance.com last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is seeking on that site.
Bye Chiri!! I'm out too. Night ho's!!!!
Pray I get snow here at the beach in CA!!! WOOT!
GOING HOME FINALLY! SEE YA ALL LATERSS
Coma Caca!!
-----------------
"You know you have crazier sex on Ambien - you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex."
-Rachel U on Tiger sexual ways-
NO SHIT!! AND i HAVE TO BE SUPER CAREFUL FOR ONE ACCOUNT CAUSE THEY ARE BEING AUDITED IN JAN CAUSE THEY ARE DOING SOME SHADY SHIT SO I NEED TO REALLY FOCUS...WHICH APPARENTLY MY BRAIN CELLS CANT DO ANYMORE AT THIS TIME. IM THIRSTY
Coma Caca!!
-----------------
"You know you have crazier sex on Ambien - you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex."
-Rachel U on Tiger sexual ways-
I despise excel, especially the new version.
HAHA I HATE EXCEL. MY TOOL IS BACK UP. SO I WAS PUTTING A DATE OF 2 WKS FROM NOW ON THE REPORT. I WANT TO LEAVE NOW!!! 50MINS TO GO!!
Coma Caca!!
-----------------
"You know you have crazier sex on Ambien - you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex."
-Rachel U on Tiger sexual ways-
FLIED LICE!!!!!!!!!!
HOW LOVELY...TELL HIM YOU WANT SOME FLIED LICE
Coma Caca!!
-----------------
"You know you have crazier sex on Ambien - you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex."
-Rachel U on Tiger sexual ways-
UGH!! No, I was on the phone with an Asian customer who kept yelling at me but I couldn't understand what the FUCK he was saying except "Do you know what I'm talking about.?"
Um, NO MOTHERFUCKER! Slow the fuck down!
UGH!
AWESOME. MY SHITTY TOOL I WAS USING CRASHED!
"YOU ARE NOT AUTHORIZED TO CREATE THIS EVENT. PLEASE CONTACT FU ADMIN"...WELL THAT WILL BE UNTIL TOMORROW THEN.
Coma Caca!!
-----------------
"You know you have crazier sex on Ambien - you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex."
-Rachel U on Tiger sexual ways-
ESE!!!!!!
ptfffffffff i hope i some of them fanceeeeee erasers for mah necklace
__________________________________________________
JESUS SAVES WITH COUPONS YA'LL , DLISTED APPROVED !
http://www.latfh.com/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/peaches2709/
gotta go out and get... uummm... supplies.. yeah, that's it!
see ya all later!
-----------------------------
"Amidst the grass,
fresh air at last.
Wining, dining, biding his time."
HEHE ESE!
M.E: ARE YOU HABLANDO TO ME??
Coma Caca!!
-----------------
"You know you have crazier sex on Ambien - you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex."
-Rachel U on Tiger sexual ways-
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 12/07/2009 - 6:29pm.
SPEAK ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!
***********
SPANISH IS ALREADY HARD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LET ME BE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I CAN ONLY PRETEND I SPEAK SOMETHING !!!!!!!!!!!!
__________________________________________________
JESUS SAVES WITH COUPONS YA'LL , DLISTED APPROVED !
http://www.latfh.com/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/peaches2709/
i am having some fantasies about this dude , like i really love a guy who can pull them lady shorts and sashaaaaaaaaaaay!
i'm doomed !!!!!
__________________________________________________
JESUS SAVES WITH COUPONS YA'LL , DLISTED APPROVED !
http://www.latfh.com/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/peaches2709/
Submitted by Chirio on Mon, 12/07/2009 - 6:27pm.
bacccccccccck! damn these paperclips are heavy.
GOT EM ESE
woo-hoo!!... it's gonna be a "special" xmas here at the 'ol ESE household!... i can't wait to see the look on their faces... gotta get a camera to preserve the joy that i'll be spreading!
-----------------------------
"Amidst the grass,
fresh air at last.
Wining, dining, biding his time."
SPEAK ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!
bacccccccccck! damn these paperclips are heavy.
GOT EM ESE
Coma Caca!!
-----------------
"You know you have crazier sex on Ambien - you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex."
-Rachel U on Tiger sexual ways-
Uvy...Hhhhmmmmmm, you're right.
maaaaaaaaaaaaan i am so screwed !
i need to sober up , i need to hit the gym ya'll , shit is not even funny , i don't wanna take a cab , but i don't drink and drive that fucken orkah and that show with that jacqui girl scarred me for life , noooooooooooooo !!!!!!!!!!!!
i need some coffee...........
__________________________________________________
JESUS SAVES WITH COUPONS YA'LL , DLISTED APPROVED !
http://www.latfh.com/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/peaches2709/
Submitted by peaches80 on Mon, 12/07/2009 - 6:18pm.
ESE????????
PAPERCLIP NECKLACE FER PEACHE RIGHT ?????????????
damn, skippy! i'll even throw in an eraser for ya to make a pendant!
-----------------------------
"Amidst the grass,
fresh air at last.
Wining, dining, biding his time."
@ Chirio
LMAO at "flied lice" !!!
ESE????????
PAPERCLIP NECKLACE FER PEACHE RIGHT ?????????????
*WINKS*
__________________________________________________
yeah okay ........
http://www.latfh.com/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/peaches2709/
Submitted by Chirio on Mon, 12/07/2009 - 6:15pm.
K ESE WILL DO, THE SILVER OR THE COLORED ONES?!
both. i gotta show people where they stand in my life... colored ones for loved ones, like my bartender, and silver for the ones that i'm just phoning it in for... ya know, like the wife and my mom!
-----------------------------
"Amidst the grass,
fresh air at last.
Wining, dining, biding his time."
BOOOOOOOOOOTS
ERRRBODY NEEDS THEM , EVEN IF THE WEATHER IN YER PUEBLO IS JUST HOT !
__________________________________________________
yeah okay ........
http://www.latfh.com/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/peaches2709/
ME- The wrap ones are so similar to the ones you already have, though.
**************************************
Uvula/vulva.....hell, it's all pink on the inside anyway. - Sweet Babu
K ESE WILL DO, THE SILVER OR THE COLORED ONES?! ANYONE ELSE NEED OFFICE SUPPLIES? BRB IMA GO SMOKE SOMETHING AT THE BACK OF THE BUILDING
Coma Caca!!
-----------------
"You know you have crazier sex on Ambien - you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex."
-Rachel U on Tiger sexual ways-
lr- I totally biffed on the sale. I didn't even see the ad for it on their site until I had checked out. Oh, well.
**************************************
Uvula/vulva.....hell, it's all pink on the inside anyway. - Sweet Babu
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Mon, 12/07/2009 - 6:11pm.
Submitted by peaches80 on Mon, 12/07/2009 - 5:59pm.
errrrrrbody needs some fuck me boots !
i need to ask a serious question about this statement... everybody?... 'cause i don't think i have the legs for 'em
*************
I AM SURE YOU DO LOVE , just get yerself a gillette anfd shave them legs and you are reaDY TO PARTEEEEEEE!
like who would say no to some kinky ass fetish play with some fuck boots !
uh woooooot?
__________________________________________________
yeah okay ........
http://www.latfh.com/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/peaches2709/
Uvy - SEE!! I can't decide. I fell in love with the wrap around ones last year (1st pair) and now I can't decide!!
@ SprainedMyUvula
If you want to buy ANYTHING on Victorias Secret website, use discount code :
VSSAVE15 to get 15% off any purchase. Offer expires on December 9, 2009.
And if you join ebates.com (totally free, I'm a subscriber, get my cash refund checks every couple of months) and log onto Victorias Secret through ebates,com, you'll get 2% off any purchase.
Submitted by Chirio on Mon, 12/07/2009 - 6:10pm.
SO BORED!!!!!!!! ALL ALONE AT THE OFFICE..SHOULD I STEAL SHIT?
grab me some paperclips, i need to make necklaces for xmas gifts
-----------------------------
"Amidst the grass,
fresh air at last.
Wining, dining, biding his time."
WHEN YOU SLEEP WITH CRISTIANO AND BAMBINO GESU YOU GOT YERSELF A HOLY TRINITY , PLUS DON'T YOU ALL BE LIE TELLING SAYING CRISTIANO IS NOT HAWT CUZ YA'LL NOW HE IS , THAT CHOLIFIED GEEEEEEEEEDO , IS ONE HOT TAMALE IN THEM GOLD LAME BOY SHORTS , JUST SAYING CUZ I AM HAVING A PARTEEEEEE IN MAH HEAD RIGHT NOW !
__________________________________________________
yeah okay ........
http://www.latfh.com/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/peaches2709/
Submitted by peaches80 on Mon, 12/07/2009 - 5:59pm.
errrrrrbody needs some fuck me boots !
i need to ask a serious question about this statement... everybody?... 'cause i don't think i have the legs for 'em
-----------------------------
"Amidst the grass,
fresh air at last.
Wining, dining, biding his time."
SO BORED!!!!!!!! ALL ALONE AT THE OFFICE..SHOULD I STEAL SHIT?
Coma Caca!!
-----------------
"You know you have crazier sex on Ambien - you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex."
-Rachel U on Tiger sexual ways-
Those wrap around boots are really rocker cool
__________________________________________________
yeah okay ........
http://www.latfh.com/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/peaches2709/
M.E.- LOVE the second ones. The first ones are okay, maybe just a little clunky looking for my taste, but what the fuck do I know?
**************************************
Uvula/vulva.....hell, it's all pink on the inside anyway. - Sweet Babu
ESE Call me! it's an 800#. Say hey chiri, its me ESE, take my name off your phone!
quick get the # it's
800
g
i
v
e
m
e
YOUR MONEY honey
Coma Caca!!
-----------------
"You know you have crazier sex on Ambien - you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex."
-Rachel U on Tiger sexual ways-
Submitted by peaches80 on Mon, 12/07/2009 - 6:06pm.
ESE!!!!!!!!!!
WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN !!!!!!!!!!!
been cooking, baking, and drinking(still doing that one!)
-----------------------------
"Amidst the grass,
fresh air at last.
Wining, dining, biding his time."
lr- How's this for a motherfuckin' chapped ass?? I didn't realize I could have gotten 15% off my entire order that I placed today.
I'm such a diphole.
**************************************
Uvula/vulva.....hell, it's all pink on the inside anyway. - Sweet Babu
ESE!!!!!!!!!!
WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN !!!!!!!!!!!
XOXOXOXOXOX
WANT SOME GREEEEEEEEEEN CHARTREUSE !
THE ANSWER IS YES !
__________________________________________________
yeah okay ........
http://www.latfh.com/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/peaches2709/