Two Boring Pretty People Are Probably Engaged
Don't ever tell Miranda Kerr's brother a secret (i.e. that you floss your teeth with your toenail clippings), because ho can't keep one. Apparently, he's been telling everyone with ears that his sissy is going to marry Orlando Bloom. This is another reason why we all lie to our family members.
Miranda and Orlando have been dating for around three years. They recently denied marriage rumors, but Miranda's brother farted off to OK! Magazine, “He's finally done it. Orlando has proposed. They're getting married.” And you just got dis-invited. No open bar for you.
You know, Orlando Bloom is so purdy that he could be a Victoria's Secret Angel himself, so I'm not sure who would make a lovelier bride. My nipples are humming just picturing Legolas with a white lace veil on his head and a bouquet in his delicate hands. Doesn't that sound as precious as a My Little Pony Sno-Cone maker?
UPDATE: Orlando Bloom's rep says this rumor is made of lies. Miranda's brother must have been drinking again.
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Both of them are fugly.
I liked more the other elf, the one who worked for Cate Blanchett and died
These 2 will either make really good looking kids or really fug ones.
PS: Alas Legolas, won't you don your bleached Zolciak wig and make my deprived loins throb once more?
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"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."
The top half of her face looks pushed in. He's too much of a pretty boy.
@spicedong, your avatar (and name too for that matter) are obscene! woah, no "after the jump" warning there.
What do pople see in that guy ?
Does he have a hairlip ?
heh i dont care for Orloondo Bland at all but i was kinda turned on by that mental image of
"Legolas with a white lace veil on his head and a bouquet in his delicate hands.".
i mean i'm a straight woman but i would be all over that meeeowwww! is that wrong? ;)
Didn't he have the same round of engagement rumors when he was dating that scrawny blonde chick?
And Miranda Kerr shouldn't marry a dude who makes her look like a plain jane. He's prettier than her, even sans makeup.
I too look like 12 going on 25
so I don't see anything wrong with her looking young
but there's one VS model that looks straight up 11 and makes me feel very pedo going though Pink section of VS
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This is so Barf!
She's beautiful, but he's so pretty he makes her look average.
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I am not a pussy.
Submitted by stilletto_lover on Mon, 12/14/2009 - 10:25am.
LOL I agree. He looks like he is trying not to puke. Though that is better than looking like he wants to commit suicide.
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"Paris Hilton is like a bowling ball: she's picked up, fingered, and thrown in the gutter." - von3248 (1/12/08)
Thanks for the porno link, stiletto.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Her reps have already denied this rumor.
Hoenstly this is becoming a boy/girl who cried wolf. They have been so many rumors about an engagement and ended being false that if they were to get engage for real no one will believe it.
Also, this a bearding contract. Who honestly can't tell he is into the peen?
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"Paris Hilton is like a bowling ball: she's picked up, fingered, and thrown in the gutter." - von3248 (1/12/08)
which of those 2 have a penis?
Coma Caca!!
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"You know you have crazier sex on Ambien - you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex."
-Rachel U on Tiger sexual ways-
bmitted by stilletto_lover on Mon, 12/14/2009 - 10:25am.
*****
Yo! That link gave me webcam porn before the image. Look out if you're at work, bitches.
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Uvula/vulva.....hell, it's all pink on the inside anyway. - Sweet Babu
Sorry, forgot to warn that the gay goodness was behind the pop up ads. I's not a spammer. I sweah!
Fixed:
http://tinypic.com/r/2mo1ffl/6
Still gay.
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Submitted by TheBreakdown on Mon, 12/14/2009 - 10:03am.
Hollywood has been trying to PR us into thinking he's straight.
[Removed by poster]
I don't know any straight men that kiss like this, do you? Damn boy looks like he is about to break under the strain.
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"I wanna be very clear. I still have the use of my penis."-Artie from Glee
Eh. If this were 2001 and Lord of the Rings was still the hotness people might care. But it isn't and Orlando Bloom just another non-entity star no ones gives two sh-ts about.
Side note Miranda needs to start sleeping with those lotion gloves. In a few years she's going to be giving Madge a run for her money.
Oh golly, when beige marries ecru.
And no offense BUT I watched some the Victoria Secret Fashion fuck deal on the Fashion Tv over the weekend, uh, those VS ho's are butt ass YOUGLAY! The only pretty ones are the models imported from The Real World Of Modeling. You know, the ones that actually make a living by doing real fashion shows and real model hood rat stuff.
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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
Looks like a thinner Rita Faltoyno!
Jeebus! I had no idea she was that hideous underneath all the Photoshop... gah
LOL! Adriana Lima is gorgeous, she's almost 30, not too "girlish". This Miranda chick looks pretty hot when she's all done up, but she's skin and bones. Not one of the better VS bodies.
Hollywood has been trying to PR us into thinking he is a star, but it just ain't working.
I don't care who he's fucking because him alone makes me want to yawn.
And this is just double the displeasure in my book.
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
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Submitted by SpiceDong on Mon, 12/14/2009 - 9:55am.
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SpiceDong, SpiceDong,SpiceDong, your avie is just...FML.
And Miranda just got a 'lil cuter because of that.
This ain't my first rodeo, cowboy.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Mon, 12/14/2009 - 9:44am.
Snowy- I think she's cute, but not underwear-model gorgeous. Not that VS has been hitting the mark with that lately. I'm not sure any of their current models really do it for me. Some look too young, some look too old, some look too horsey, some are just straight up not attractive at all.
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I agree. She looks like she'd be good for their Pink brand, but not the regular stuff.
My boyfriend has a thing for Adriana Lima. But she too looks more like a girl than a woman.
Why do people get a gay vibe from him? Seems like a lot people say every male actor is secretly gay.
I too don't see anything wrong with them being low-key. If they weren't, they'd be labeled as attention whores or whatever.
Dare I say it, these 2 are not all that good looking here. Very average looking.
I can't muster the energy to care about these two.
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"Are we pilgrims all of a sudden? ”
Yeah, reading about these 2 makes me want 3 more cups of coffee.
She is pretty...reminds me a bit of Amanda Seigfried.
Orlando is just meh...not my cup of tea. He looks like he has a a really skinny peen maybe long maybe short...but skinny nevertheless. Which is weird because guys with his wiry build are usually packing but he gives me an "exception to the rule" vibe in that department. I am rarely wrong in those matters.
snowy's poppin that ass like Hueeee Jackmeoff...
and I think Miranda is hot. OB looks a little thin.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" the lovely snowpiece 11/25/09
Ulvy, yeah, i guess it's more I think she's cute as a button, LOL
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
Never really got into whole "Orlando gorge mafaka I'd name my dildo afta " thing
he's just another JDepp wanabee and nothing exotic ...he's average boring oatmeal dude
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This is so Barf!
Never really got into whole "Orlando gorge mafaka I'd name my dildo afta " thing
he's just another JDepp wanabee and nothing exotic ...he's average boring oatmeal dude
<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>
This is so Barf!
Snowy- I think she's cute, but not underwear-model gorgeous. Not that VS has been hitting the mark with that lately. I'm not sure any of their current models really do it for me. Some look too young, some look too old, some look too horsey, some are just straight up not attractive at all.
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Uvula/vulva.....hell, it's all pink on the inside anyway. - Sweet Babu
He looks thrilled.
She is not that attractive.
I'd still get with that elf, but you guys already knew that.
This ain't my first rodeo, cowboy.
Hahah...I had the Snoopy sno-cone maker (may have to see if can find and adjust for jazzy's suggestion):
http://www.thegreenhead.com/imgs/snoopy-sno-cone-machine-1.jpg
Oh, and congrats.
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Christmas Is All Around
I agree with yep-cubed. There is nothing to hate as long as he doesn't make another movie with Kiki Dunst.
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May Your Christmas Dreams Come True!
sushi o
I'm still trying to figure out what men see in Miranda Kerr. Is it that she looks like a preteen? She's cute, not pretty. She has no tits.
Sushi
I have been doing a lot of research on this and apparently if you are a model a look like a dog but appear in VS catalog that makes you hot?
because she is cute but has no curves no ass no tits no hips just loong lean body and its considered hot and curvy it boggles the mind
“So no girl can really be your friend, because if she takes attention from you, your daddy doesn’t love you.” Megan Fox
really? I think she's just gorgeous and adorable, to each his/her own
as for him, he's ok, not my thing, and besides, like Ulvy said, he's alerady promised to PSL
Happy Monday Fuckers ♥♥♥
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
I'm still trying to figure out what men see in Miranda Kerr. Is it that she looks like a preteen? She's cute, not pretty. She has no tits.
aww who cares they are low key and they bother no one (ok maybe except prepubescent model here with her ano body pretending she is "curvy")
“So no girl can really be your friend, because if she takes attention from you, your daddy doesn’t love you.” Megan Fox
WHY IS THIS 70 POUND GIRL DRESSING LIKE FUCKING BARBARA WALTERS
Uvy - I think she met him while he was speed walking in a one piece spandex... so probably not. lol
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" the lovely snowpiece 11/25/09
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Mon, 12/14/2009 - 9:31am.
Submitted by freebird on Mon, 12/14/2009 - 9:28am.
ZOMG! Does anyone else TOTALLY want a My Little Pony Sno Cone maker?! The parties!!!!
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My Little Pony margarita maker?
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Totally! In the form of a Sno Cone. Not sure where to put the salt. BODY SNO CONES!!!!
He's gay and she is fug, David Letterman
Submitted by freebird on Mon, 12/14/2009 - 9:28am.
ZOMG! Does anyone else TOTALLY want a My Little Pony Sno Cone maker?! The parties!!!!
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My Little Pony margarita maker?
Hmmm....it's a would fuck because of the ears and hair. Yeah.
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Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:59pm.
suckandfuck you are by far the most vile person here
Will the Bloom's kids be called 'Bloomers', 'Blooming Onions' or 'Budding Blooms'?
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May Your Christmas Dreams Come True!
Um,....well,....*zzzzzzzzzzzzzz*
PSL met his ass. I wonder if she got a gay vibe.
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Uvula/vulva.....hell, it's all pink on the inside anyway. - Sweet Babu