Confessions Of A Broken Bank Account
White Oprah is trying to keep the Mike's Hard Lemonade on the table by taking a page out of Gary Coleman's book. Over on the Lohan's official broke down website (which was designed by Nana Lohan after she sniffed too much acrylic glue), White Oprah is selling the family's second-hand shit to the highest bidder.
Now is your chance to own a pair of Juicy Couture jeans (complete with two kinds of skidmarks) once worn by one of the Lohans for the bottom bitch price of $150. You can also get a Nordstrom bag for $100, a pair of Converse for $35 and a Chloe dress for $600. That's in Lohan dollars. In real-life currency that translates into $WAYTOOFUCKINGMUCHFORTHATSHITCRAP.
However, if you do buy a piece of the Lohan dynasty there's a good chance you will find half of an Adderall pill or a Ziploc bag covered in coke residue in one of the pockets. That's a good thing!
On the other hand, there's also a good chance that White Oprah is selling hot merchandise. So if you wear this crap out in a public, someone will probably claim you snatched it from them and call 911 on your ass. That's a bad thing!
It's a gamble.
via Page Six
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This is fucking hilarious!!! How did I miss this?
I hate to admit it but despite the fact it's rockbottom in terms of dignity, I can see it's a great idea for broke famewhores.
It's famewhore trendsetting, Jodie Marsh must be putting up her own website as we speak.
Oy. That is one mutherfucking brokedown website. Ugh!
♥ Threadkilla!
'Guidos' and 'guidettes' are good-looking people that, you know, like to make a scene and be center of attention and just take care of themselves."
This is such fun. This has to be the best Dlisted story in weeks. A garage sale. Oh, yeah, I want a DKNY used dress you could buy cheaper new. You know, Streisand does this too, but it's for charity and it's STREISAND. I remember her posting a pair of Justin cowboy boots with a "I only wore them a couple times and skuffed the right one up". That's history. You put those in a glass display box with a spotlight.
I hate that the 40 year old younger sister Lohan has my name. *vomits* GIVE IT BACK.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
"Ali" claims that she is not Miley Cyrus and "sort of a Rhihanna" and NOW she's "ALIANA"? I just love her to death.
It is all of the stuff that she filtched will "shopping".
There are TWO boys. The other one is named Dakota.
"Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid." -John Wayne
"Ignorance is curable, but stupidity is forever." -Gary Cryan
There are "Mean Girls," and then there are mean girls - like two of Ali Lohan's former classmates, who made a catty video about her and then posted it on the Internet.
"Ali, 14, and a budding musician, calls herself a "nice girl, who wants to be friends with everybody." You just don't want to mess with the Lohans, she says, because then there may be trouble.
The younger sister of You-Know-Who is at the center of the E! series "Living Lohan," which chronicles her experience recording a CD (the finale airs July 27). stuff. People scream things like, "We love Living Lohan'!" So, we just yell back, "Yeah!" It's fun. It's not a bad thing."
Is this for fucking real???
........
Fer sure maybe, fer sure not, fer sure eh, fer sure bomb...
Submitted by dreamhypnotique on Mon, 06/15/2009
It's like trying to put Herpes in its place, when you're syphilis.
What a bunch of tools.
Good lord.
smell yo dick
lindsay underwear
their new business adventure sell the freebies they get or steal from functions. You got to give them credit they sure will come up with the tackiest, trashiest ideas everytime. Let's see what they do for New Year!
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)
Coke IS expensive. I wondered when it would come to this.
Damn. Someone pulled it.
So they have finally hit rock bottom. How embarrassing for them. I love it. Those 3 cunts deserve nothing less.
these people are so damn tacky and disgusting..who would want to even come a mile radius of anything that herp infested crotch crumbler would wear...I would be at the clinic in a heartbeat....this is just too pathetic for words...I mean who does White Oprah think she is...her daughter(s) are tragic messes, one is completely full of diseases, the other one looks like she is approximately 55, and her son is so damn bland it makes my eyes sad...this family is a pathetic joke...
Submitted by Miss Meliss on Mon, 12/14/2009 - 10:23am.
Ahh, yes, Shirts, the fourth and perhaps wisest Lohan child..
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LMAO!
♥ Threadkilla!
'Guidos' and 'guidettes' are good-looking people that, you know, like to make a scene and be center of attention and just take care of themselves."
The site is fucked up. Like the family.
is this shit for true? what happened to that hooker money lilo made in italy? she didn't save any money from those transactions?
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A new kitty lapping up milk trumps old pussy coughing up hair balls any day.
Submitted by Miss Meliss on Mon, 12/14/2009 - 10:23am.
Ahh, yes, Shirts, the fourth and perhaps wisest Lohan child..
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LO fucking L!!!!
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"It's like I'm gently being butt fucked by a croissant." -MK
Site is borked :)
Heheh
Fucki it. The site takes too long to load and I'm out of patience already today.
The site is back up.
TEAM GEORGE LOPEZ - F*ck Erik Estrada.
When was the last time Blohan looked like that? Six years ago?
That is some serious fuckin' desperation.
LOL@ "it's a gamble" Ha!
♥ Threadkilla!
'Guidos' and 'guidettes' are good-looking people that, you know, like to make a scene and be center of attention and just take care of themselves."
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Mon, 12/14/2009 - 10:41am.
are they selling a copy of "I Know Who Killed Me"?!... what?!.. i need a door stop
No, they're giving away a free copy of that shiteous movie with each and every purchase of another piece of the Lohan dream. I think that's called incentive to buy, although Woprah should have gone to eBay anonymously. Sad Lohans :(
@SpiceDong...mmmm that's a tasty avvie!
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
WOW!!! Im amazed.
Amazed at how little shame one can have. Can i get summa that. My internal critic is a real bitch....On second thoughts....look where it gets you. PASS.
Spicedong
That avie made my eyes burn burn burn!!!! GAGGAGAHHHHHHHH.
I'll burn that bridge when I come to it....
Disgusting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'd rather riffle through a homeless man's shopping cart than buy any of these drug addicted whore's used clothes.
BLECK!
I've been wondering for a year how the Lohans were surviving since Lindsay isn't pulling in the bucks and the few dollars she earns go straight up her nose or down her throat...now I know. I hope this is fake because if it's real Woprah is delusional and needs meds if she believes people want shit from the ongoing family tragedy that is their lives.
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I am not a pussy.
Real Dumb... now people are gonna be able to confirm that their shit was stolen by Lindsay. If White Oprah didn't have her head stuck up her ass, she would have put the items up for sale anonymously on Ebay.
yeah i am tardy for the party-the page is down.
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www.findmorgan.com
The link is not working. Dammn
TEAM GEORGE LOPEZ - F*ck Erik Estrada.
Love the floorplan showing where the kids bedrooms are on the home page!
I clicked on ali's room because I figured no one cares about her and her low click rate might get her tossed out on the street:
Not Found
The requested URL /alis-room was not found on this server.
too late!!!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
A Dlisted Public Service Announcement: http://www.paris-kim.com/potholes/munch.htm
http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2009-03/24/reports-of-my-death.aspx?...
Submitted by Miss Meliss on Mon, 12/14/2009 - 10:23am.
Ahh, yes, Shirts, the fourth and perhaps wisest Lohan child..
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Yaaaayyy!! Hahahaha
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"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." ~ Pink
Long Island's loss is Long Island's gain. Thank God that trash bag took her stage mother act where it belongs - Los Angeles. We have enough white trash here on the East Coast to go around. When Lindsay dies, can she be charged with something?
Submitted by SpiceDong on Mon, 12/14/2009 - 10:47am.
Well thank you! The old one was still coming up on my end...so I wasn't sure the change had taken place...I don't know why it takes so long for avatar changes to appear here.
How was your weekend? How's the keegel class going? lol
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I DON'T KNOW WHY EITHER BUT THE SOONER TYPES OF THOSE APPEAR THE BETTER.
IT WAS ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU FOR ASKING, HOW WAS YOURS? KEGEL CLASS TODAY DURING OP.
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Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:59pm.
suckandfuck you are by far the most vile person here
I did'nt see any fine print warning potential buyers that they might be arrested for recieving stolen goods!
I've been mistaken for a responsible adult
Submitted by suckandfuck on Mon, 12/14/2009 - 10:14am.
that avatar.....it's beautiful.......
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Well thank you! The old one was still coming up on my end...so I wasn't sure the change had taken place...I don't know why it takes so long for avatar changes to appear here.
How was your weekend? How's the keegel class going? lol
Submitted by Chirio on Mon, 12/14/2009 - 10:42am.
soooooo... but, I thought Lindsay stole things (or were given to her)...you cant sell shit that was "given to you" to others
aahhh, the internet... the only fence that will touch the Lohan's pilfered goods
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"Day after day, alone on a hill.
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still.
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see he's just a fool."
Downright pathetic.
How utterly tacky.
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"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." ~ Pink
soooooo... but, I thought Lindsay stole things (or were given to her)...you cant sell shit that was "given to you" to others
Coma Caca!!
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"You know you have crazier sex on Ambien - you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex."
-Rachel U on Tiger sexual ways-
are they selling a copy of "I Know Who Killed Me"?!... what?!.. i need a door stop
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"Day after day, alone on a hill.
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still.
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see he's just a fool."
Submitted by Miss Meliss on Mon, 12/14/2009 - 10:23am.
OH FUCK! That was hysterical!
*falls off chair*
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by Miss Meliss on Mon, 12/14/2009 - 10:23am.
Ahh, yes, Shirts, the fourth and perhaps wisest Lohan child..
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ROTFLMFAO!!!
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Uvula/vulva.....hell, it's all pink on the inside anyway. - Sweet Babu
May I assume that MK wasn't pitched to endorse this website and its products?
They cannot even afford a decent graphic designer:
The title should read:
The Lohan Ho Use Store
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
xadesmultimedia@gmail.com
I think Imma be forced to put the hot dog cart on Craig's List, in case anyone is interested, LOL
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
Wait...I was hoping to buy Michael's mesh tee shirt. That shit rocks!
http://garagesalehomepage.com/index.php
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" the lovely snowpiece 11/25/09