Open Post: Hosted By The Beautiful Detective Julie Bower
TLC's Police Women of Broward County is currently dark for the season, so I've desperately missed the smell of burnt polyester, wet cigarettes and perm juice that constantly wafts off of Detective Julie Bower's oh-so-crispy peroxide angel wings. Even through the TV screen. If only she could bottle that scent and sell at all Loaf 'N Jugs. She can call it "South Florida." That's a compliment.
Here's Detective Bower with her Police Women co-stars and Dancing with the Has-Beens' alumni Jason Taylor at some ping-pong charity event in Hollywood, FL yesterday. Detective Bower must have known that the public has been patiently waiting to get another glimpse of her beauty, because she brought it big with the white tip nails, Bonne Bell bronzer, and the rhinestone western belt circa 1997. The rhinestones almost blinded me from seeing the cell phone strapped to her waistband. I will forgive her for that.
Officer JB is definitely one of my fashions icons of '09.
• 
Logical? Logical? The fuck's THAT?
________________________________________________
"God make me good. But not yet."
ESE, better luck getting Dr. Phil and Stedman together!
______________________________
*stiffly*
I was not aware we were engaged in a logical interaction.
Please forgive my impertinence.
_________________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
it's time for my usual watching of old time t.v. shows... what?!.. i like "Mister Ed"!
come to think of it...
Mister Ed or Lassie?
see ya all!
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"Day after day, alone on a hill.
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still.
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see he's just a fool."
KardASSians. But I'd have to climb Khloe like a fuckin' redwood.
________________________________________________
"God make me good. But not yet."
...and no, I did NOT mean that to read I'd have the Pammy-sammy too. My shit's clean. And I'ma KEEP it that way. Nuff said.
________________________________________________
"God make me good. But not yet."
Submitted by LuxLuv on Wed, 12/16/2009 - 4:44am.
How 'bout we pee on 'em all. There.
i like the way you think!
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"Day after day, alone on a hill.
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still.
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see he's just a fool."
Pammy-whammy - let's not forget she also has Hep. Pam, hon, if you're out there and read this, check my earlier post about the Rainbow-Butterfly cootchie-wedger link. ________________________________________________
"God make me good. But not yet."
Submitted by Centaurious on Wed, 12/16/2009 - 4:42am.
pfft!.. yeah, like Oprah's gonna let Gayle out of her sight long enough to do this!... better luck getting Dr. Phil and Stedman together!
see ya, centy!
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"Day after day, alone on a hill.
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still.
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see he's just a fool."
SB, Heidi and Spencer, because they actually don't annoy me! *cowers*
The Kardashians, because I already have a fake lesbian crush on Kim. That has been going on for awhile...sigh.
There is no hope for me. Don't think I'm not aware of that.
_________________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
How 'bout we pee on 'em all. There.
________________________________________________
"God make me good. But not yet."
SkyBitch:
Katie Price, obviously.
Because Katie only dates fag hags. She's not having so much sex with them. It's all titty ball fantasy land!
But PammySnatch?
She's sharing that cooch with anyone that has had a so much as a song on the Casey Kasem countdown!
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
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ESE, I've BEEN over here and it's a dark little playground.
Tom & Katie's--but only so I could play with Suri. I'd be liable to kill the other two.
________________________________________________
"God make me good. But not yet."
Submitted by SkyBitch on Wed, 12/16/2009 - 4:41am.
can we pee on the Hogans?
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"Day after day, alone on a hill.
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still.
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see he's just a fool."
Okay, this is a last gasp effort here, but I'm gonna try and make it count!
Would you rather....
Have a threesome with Oprah and Steadman?
Or with Gayle and Dr. Phil?
I'll check back for answers, but if I fall asleep, thanks so much everyone for giving me a ton of laughs!
Have a great day tomorrow.
_________________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
Submitted by SkyBitch on Wed, 12/16/2009 - 4:36am.
If you were on a reality TV show, who would you rather live with 24/7 for 4 months:
Heidi & Spencer or Tom & Katie?
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that's actually a tough one... on one hand i'd like to filet Hiedi and Spencer, but i also would like to see Katie's battery pack.... hmmm... Tom and Katie
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"Day after day, alone on a hill.
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still.
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see he's just a fool."
If you had to sleep with every member (of legal age) of a family, which one would you choose:
The Kardashians or the Hogans?
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BIGGEST COMPLIMENT EVER:
"skybitch, you are one of most disgusting posters here ever. period."
Submitted by LuxLuv on Wed, 12/16/2009 - 4:35am.
None of the dayshifter's will have anything to do with me.
that's right... come to the night time!
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"Day after day, alone on a hill.
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still.
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see he's just a fool."
Oh, but the moisturizing my hands could get from Jermaine's hair..!
________________________________________________
"God make me good. But not yet."
If you were on a reality TV show, who would you rather live with 24/7 for 4 months:
Heidi & Spencer or Tom & Katie?
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BIGGEST COMPLIMENT EVER:
"skybitch, you are one of most disgusting posters here ever. period."
Manilow.
________________________________________________
"God make me good. But not yet."
Submitted by Centaurious on Wed, 12/16/2009 - 4:32am.
Well, I guess the main thing to remember is, don't run your fingers through their hair.
Ever.
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good point, but... really.. with these options... fingers going through their hair is the least of my concern!
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"Day after day, alone on a hill.
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still.
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see he's just a fool."
*makes gagging sounds* Christ.
Katie Price. If I have to answer. I'm SO gonna get run out of here if we keep with these kinds of questions. None of the dayshifter's will have anything to do with me.
________________________________________________
"God make me good. But not yet."
SB, I would buck on his nose.
__________________
LOL...talk about the clit tickler!
_________________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
ESE, Jermaine Jackson... he seems cuddly
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Hmmm...now I'm torn. I don't make a move without your input, but I was considering Barry?
Well, I guess the main thing to remember is, don't run your fingers through their hair.
Ever.
_________________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
C Love-- yeah, I need an EXCUSE.
________________________________________________
"God make me good. But not yet."
Submitted by SkyBitch on Wed, 12/16/2009 - 4:28am.
If you were an STD, whose snatch would you rather fester in:
Katie Price or Pamela Anderson?
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no room in either
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"Day after day, alone on a hill.
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still.
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see he's just a fool."
Barry Manilow, and I would buck on his nose.
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BIGGEST COMPLIMENT EVER:
"skybitch, you are one of most disgusting posters here ever. period."
SB, Katie Price or Pamela Anderson?
_____________________
Pamela...the English are filthy!
________________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
Submitted by Centaurious on Wed, 12/16/2009 - 4:27am.
Jermaine Jackson... he seems cuddly
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"Day after day, alone on a hill.
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still.
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see he's just a fool."
If you were an STD, whose snatch would you rather fester in:
Katie Price or Pamela Anderson?
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BIGGEST COMPLIMENT EVER:
"skybitch, you are one of most disgusting posters here ever. period."
Ding, Ding....
Round Three.
Would y'all rather fuck Jermaine Jackson or Barry Manilow?
(ESE, you have to choose, too!)
_________________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
Submitted by SkyBitch on Wed, 12/16/2009 - 4:21am.
Who would you rather be your spokesperson:
Courtney Love or Michael Lohan?
C Love... i like my excuses to be spicy and unintelligable
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"Day after day, alone on a hill.
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still.
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see he's just a fool."
Michael Lohan! Nothing against Court, it's just I only speak English.
_________________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
ESE, can i choose both?
___________________
*cackling* How many times have I heard those words at our Catholic school girl's high school roundtable?
The answer is NO!
And death is not an option.....
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....
________________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
Who would you rather be your spokesperson:
Courtney Love or Michael Lohan?
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BIGGEST COMPLIMENT EVER:
"skybitch, you are one of most disgusting posters here ever. period."
Next question! BTW, my shit here's running a lil slow...
________________________________________________
"God make me good. But not yet."
SB, Re: the balls....do they have to complete in any way? If so, Adler's as long as he doesn't make me swallow!
*shivering*
_________________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
Hey, even though I'm an *old* married chick, I'd take Mae West.
________________________________________________
"God make me good. But not yet."
Submitted by Centaurious on Wed, 12/16/2009 - 4:15am.
can i choose both?
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"Day after day, alone on a hill.
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still.
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see he's just a fool."
SB, Ahhhhhh! I guess Jocelyn
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I would not have expected Jocelyn from you, LOL!
Whoa, I hate to say it, but I'll take Lucite's Baboon Vulva before Michelle Duggars, hers are probably Swiffering the floor by now!
_________________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
Submitted by LuxLuv on Wed, 12/16/2009 - 4:14am.
be gentle, Luxy... i'm fragile!
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"Day after day, alone on a hill.
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still.
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see he's just a fool."
Hefner's. Adler's would end up trapped in my stomach, and then I'd be permanently attched, mouf-to-balls with that shit.
________________________________________________
"God make me good. But not yet."
Submitted by SkyBitch on Wed, 12/16/2009 - 4:13am.
hi, SkyB!... Hefner's for sure... there seems to be a career in it!
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"Day after day, alone on a hill.
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still.
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see he's just a fool."
ESE,
____________
Would you rather remove Bogie's fedora in a darkened broom closet, or go up and see Mae West sometime with no security whatsoever?
_________________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
ESE, alrighty, another player...*rubs hands together in anticipation*
________________________________________________
"God make me good. But not yet."
Hi ESE!!! *MUAH!*
Whose balls would you rather suck on for an hour:
Hugh Hefner's or Cisco Adler's?
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BIGGEST COMPLIMENT EVER:
"skybitch, you are one of most disgusting posters here ever. period."
so, hey everyo... wait a second!.. *reads game going on*... you people are just silly! SILLY, i tell ya!!... *unlocks liquor cabinet*
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"Day after day, alone on a hill.
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still.
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see he's just a fool."
O.k., Skybitch YOU good with that? MY work does this shit to me, BTW.
Answer is: Michelle Duggar--at least HER's is clean. ________________________________________________
"God make me good. But not yet."
I've been in & out, *playing* with my avie, throwing out the occasional bullshit off-topic random comment. Nothing new.
________________________________________________
"God make me good. But not yet."
Ahhhhhh! I guess Jocelyn because there would be a lot less risk of paps exposing what I had done. It would definitely have to be Ambien-sex, and hopefully I'd never remember it.
If you had to get a labia transplant, which donor would you choose:
Shauna Sands or Michelle Duggar?
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BIGGEST COMPLIMENT EVER:
"skybitch, you are one of most disgusting posters here ever. period."