Drunk 4-Year-Old Crossdressers Gone Wild
A drunk crossdressing 4-year-old broke into a neighbor's house and stole their Christmas presents on Tuesday morning in Chattanooga, TN. File this under: What would happen if I ever raised a kid. You can also cross-file it under: Might be a Spears.
It all started when 4-year-old Hayden Wright got a little thirstay in the early morning hours on Tuesday. Hayden went to the kitchen and opened up the refrigerator. Since nothing quenches the thirst of a 4-year-old like a cold beer, he grabbed one out of the fridge, opened it up and took a few sips. After he got a little of the sweet nectar in his system, Hayden was ready to party like Eddie Murphy so he headed for the next door neighbor's house.
Hayden got into the neighbor's house through an unlocked door and immediately noticed a bunch of presents under the Christmas tree. The presents must have called his name, because Hayden opened up five of them. One of the presents he opened up was a purdy brown dress, so naturally, Hayden slipped it on. You know, I'm beginning to think that I magically became a 4-year-old and transported to Tennessee on Tuesday without knowing it.
After Hayden put on the dress, he went to another neighbor's house and rang the door bell a few times. That neighbor called the police. The police found Hayden wandering the streets in the brown dress while drinking the beer. Hayden and his 21-year-old mother April were taken to the local hospital.
April said that Hayden's father is in jail, so he might have been trying to get arrested so he could go be with him. ACK! And suddenly this story took a turn to SADSVILLE.
Child Protective Services met with April yesterday and said they have no plans to take custody away from her. TLC also met with April and says they have serious plans to make Hayden a reality TV star. I made that last part up, but it will probably turn out to be true.
Source (Thanks Taylor)
ShareThis
Submitted by msanthropist on Fri, 12/18/2009 - 8:40am.
Oh wow.
Agree with everything said. Lordy. What small thirsty child doesn't go directly to Mommy for a drink?
***********************************
A child that's been trained not to bother Mommy when she's sleepin'
♥ Threadkilla!
A long time ago, when the gays weren't all in your face about it...
~ Don't look at me! I didn't say that!
Yeah, like none of you guys ever did this when you were 4!
Al K Hall
Functional Alcoholic Spokesperson
(No, REALLY. Google "Slurperson" if you don't believe me.)
http://pjensi.wordpress.com
Such a sad story.
#1 Mother was 17 when child was born.
#2 Dad is a neer-do-well
#3 They live in Tennessee.
Three reasons no one in the South should be allowed to breed until they are 30, have graduated from college and can prove they have been gainfully employed for at least 2 years.
If that was a black mother: that kid'd be taken away and the mother would be doing some jail time.
Just sayin.
--
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N97HXJS7ayc
whatever happened to playpens r those inhumane now? nothing to do with this story just a thought that i've been wondering. this kid needs a damn cage
Maybe I'm sick in the head but I gotta tell ya, I was laughing my ass off on this one. Just a note to the camera guy..do not start with a close up of that womans head!!! Sweet J.H.C. it took up the whole fucking screen. Talk about playing to a stereotype.
Awwww, poor baby. He was just tryin' to play Haydn seek.
Also, something's not Wright with that family, no siree bob!
=============================
Bottom-feeder.
Oh wow.
Agree with everything said. Lordy. What small thirsty child doesn't go directly to Mommy for a drink? So where was she - out or incapacitated? And no child ever gets past the bad taste of alcohol to the good effects first time, that's an experienced four year old. And no you don't tell your baby that Daddy's in jail, god! And yes, a brown dress for Christmas - that shit better have been silk velvet.
Sidebar: I suddenly understand Miley Cyrus's droning trucker voice. I guess that's just Tennessee.
"Submitted by shandi on Thu, 12/17/2009 - 10:52pm.
Okay, so I watched this video again. It is not old. It is dated December 16, 2009, so WHY is that reporter wearing a skirt from 1979?"
Thank you! In all the craziness that is this video, that was what I was most disturbed by. I'm glad I'm not the only one.
i need a butterknife to open cans with tabs...i'm thinking i need to have my tubes tied so i won't have a kid that can open cans of beer so easily...the world will thank me...
_____________________________________________
A new kitty lapping up milk trumps old pussy coughing up hair balls any day.
Okay, so I watched this video again. It is not old. It is dated December 16, 2009, so WHY is that reporter wearing a skirt from 1979? And what is with her bangs plastered over her forehead? She looks like Anna Duggar. As for Hayden's mom, I think she was saying that he runs away a lot trying to go to jail to be with his dad. And she said he got the beer from her father's cooler, so is she living with her father?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
And the mother's first reaction is to grab her five minutes of fame on TV! Yes, instead of being totally ashamed of her ass, she scurries to tell the "true story" on camera, complete with the sordid details about her (and her ex's) life. That poor child is doomed. He'll be lucky if he's not in jail by the time he hits middle school.
I've seen kids younger than that figure out devices more complicated. You can't just put them up and make that the sitter...and I can't even go past that, I find this so upsetting...
♥ Threadkilla!
A long time ago, when the gays weren't all in your face about it...
~ Don't look at me! I didn't say that!
Those doorknob covers *can* be broken if you squeeze them hard enough. Not sure I believe a four year old can do it, but if they were old or otherwise damaged I could see it happening. Those are really only a deterrent for toddlers, for a four year old you'd need a good lock, like other posters were saying.
The whole situation is sad.
***********************************************
Personally, I think Steven is just one of those natural crackheads. You know, those hos who act strung out, but aren't. They are primarily known as "Born-Again Christians."
Was that reporter really wearing a brown turtleneck pullover and a beige plaid skirt? I was expecting Rhoda and Phyllis to show up at any moment.
Submitted by luscious_t on Thu, 12/17/2009 - 4:49pm.
"Personally, I want to know why the fuck the kid's name has been released -- umm... great big DUH to Mom, the news, CPS - all those sorry fucks."
No way should these kids names be released due to their fuckery. I feel the same way about aspiring hoodrat Latarian Miller. Both tragedies in the making.
Having said that, however, the most disturbing aspect of this story for me is that some little girl was going to get a brown dress for Christmas. How very Jane Eyre-ish.
Yes, this sounds like the kind of kid I would have....but ??BEER??? why not Gin and Tonic's ?
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
i hope the neighbors are cool and send him a Christmas present. I know you guys are thinking it should be a dress.
"his 21-year-old mother April"
This tells me pretty much EVERYTHING I need to know about this story.
oh shit best Christmas story ever it made my day.
Poor little boy just wants to be with his daddy. So sad.
he was clearrrly auditioning to be on the new season of rupauls drag race. the kid has goals, good for him!
Just another example of why there should be licenses to breed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the universe ~ Albert Einstein
"This may be the strangest story we have EVER reported to you..."
No. Fucking.Shit.
This is so nasty. My BFF is a social worker, and somewhere in the world, her head just exploded.
-"Well, should we get more coffee or get two guns and shoot ourselves?"
They took away my perfect beautiful healthy newborn without giving me a chance, but cant take hers? Im still thinking Dcs are nothing but a bunch of psychopaths. Literally fucked in the head. I stopped smoking and drinking for that baby but she keeps costudy of a kid whos drinking beer and dressing like a cross dresser? Fucking corrupt individuals in the bible belt.
Miss Sexy Panties
"All kids do things like this". What planet is this crazy bitch from? Maybe she's a scientologist and raises her son Suri style. Although it's safe to say that she doesn't have millions to blow on a cult.
Two things: First, the mom looks a bit older than 21. Second, this kid ain't got a shot in hell of doing anything worthwhile with his life. Sad but true.
**********
"Boy was so bursting with fruity goodness I could almost taste the effin' rainbow." - Plecostomus 12/15/09
Every picture of this kid his mouth is slack-jawed open like he's "special".
And how does a 4 year-old crack open a beer can? Mommy should use NyQuil next time if she wants her kid to shut the f*ck up.
I'd be more concerned about him putting on a dress than the boozin.
Sad.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"Sucky&Fucky, You were so gentle, wise and patient with Fishsticks. You're amazing!" - little_rascal
Holy F*ck!! WTF is it with these f*cking breeders that they never seem to either lock their f*cking doors or they put the locks within easy reach of their crumb runners??? Damnation!
Now.. This is not to say that I don't feel sad for all involved .. I do!! Mommy's hair is downright tragic, frankly! But shit! Hayden's ability to go off and do hoodrat shit would be greatly diminished by putting locks about 5 feet off the ground and using them!
As for getting the beer can open .. Hello!?!? How does any other ho get into her beer .. get your mans to do it for you, use your teeth or use a kitchen utensil! D'uh! Nothing stands between a redneck and their Bud, bud!
It's Sean Preston, BITCH!
She's got the long version of the possum hairdooooo
Not hardly. This sounds like a JonBenet deal
21 going thru a divorce
Has a 4 year old and other kids
living at home
he wanted to be with his dad in Jail
Likes bud light and wears dresses -
um yeah.......
er dunnno what to say but i agree kids dont "do stuff like this " unless they are disturbed and....now I am.
Boooo too sad
I'll burn that bridge when I come to it....
You were arrested? What for?
I love how towards the end April twangs "Kids just do stuff like this" like it's all common. Yeah, I'm constantly seeing Budweiser-toting 4 yr. old boys in dresses ambling the streets of my neighborhood at 2 a.m. Feisty little scamps!
____________________
ASUUU MADREEE!!!!!
M.E.,
What did you do to be a jailbird for an evening??! Escandalo.
____________________
ASUUU MADREEE!!!!!
I agree with all the comments here. My son is 4 years old and is also named Hayden. He doesn't leave the house without us - he knows that rule. And he can't open a can of anything by himself. He can't even open a juice box or Capri Sun without help. And if my son ever got one tiny SIP of beer (which he will NOT), he would spit it out and be done with it, I'm sure of that. Yet this little 4 year old drank the beer and continued carrying it with him and drinking more? Makes you wonder if he's tasted it before. As for the little handle covers, I wonder if those were put on after the incident? If my kid was prone to trying to run outside, I'd have a lock up high that the kid could not get to. I'm really surprised that Child and Family Services let the kid stay with her. REALLY surprised.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
The main reason this chick is an ultra shitty mother? The fact that if her fucking FOUR yr. old "wants to get arrested to be with Daddy in prison" is because she is DRILLING that idea into the child's mind, that his "Daddy is in prison". What a sad, pathetic victim she is and is making her child into, instead of being the one strong parent he could possible have. Really disgusting.
I'm dying to see the brown dress, though. Is it cute?!
____________________
ASUUU MADREEE!!!!!
kanderso - Um, yeah, had to spend the night in the clink.
Working it all out though, smanks! ♥
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 12/17/2009 - 4:36pm.
ahahaha thanks xerquina... no where close to mastah pleco... his are real looking, mine suck pretty hard but I'm learning.... SLOWLY but learning.
-----------
Pleco is a dude? lol
well he/she thought you well grasshopper.
Why didn't the neighbour who answered the doorbell keep the kid with them till the cop's came? Whole neighbourhood sound's crazy- drunk 4 yr olds, unlocked door's at night, mother making strange excuses.
as to how this 21? year old got pregnant she was skinny before the pregnancy those bitches blow up like a whale then again a knew a huge fat but sweet girl that got knocked up and the guy dumped as soon as he knew and you can tell she will be one of those fat obsessive mothers that lives for her son, unfortunately I know a few fat obsessive mothers and feel sorry for the trophy kids
“So no girl can really be your friend, because if she takes attention from you, your daddy doesn’t love you.” Megan Fox
OT - Jazzfish I love your avie - are you deaf? I have studied ASL for years... I don't know the sign for "blowjob" but I can take a good guess as to what it might look like...I will have to ask my teacher.
Personally, I want to know why the fuck the kid's name has been released -- umm... great big DUH to Mom, the news, CPS - all those sorry fucks.
*****
luscious_t likes this. *thumbs up*
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
~cheetos & frapp~
Oh, BTW, M.E., those were not judge-y frowny faces, they were sympathetic frowny faces.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." ~ Pink
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 12/17/2009 - 4:43pm.
WHen I was in jail a few weeks ago, BH told the kids I spent the night at a friends house.
****************
Whuuu? M.E., you had to spend the night in the clink? :( :(
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." ~ Pink