There Will Be One Less Virgin Jonas Brother This Weekend
22-year-old Kevin Jonas will trade in his purity ring for a wedding ring this weekend when he marries Chinmeister from the Bad Girls Club former hairdresser Danielle Deleasa this weekend on Long Island. Radar says that the two, who got engaged this past July, will get married at a friend's estate on Saturday.
If this isn't the gay one (I get them all confused), then the preacher might as well change "You may now kiss the bride" to "You may now bone the bride," because Kevin will have his pants off before the ceremony ends. Instead of throwing rice, Kevin's peen will throw coagulated jizz at his bride.
And if Kevin is the gay one, then I hope Danielle doesn't take it too personally when he locks himself in the bathroom on his wedding night. I also hope she brings a rabbit with her just in case.
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Doubt very much that any of the Jonas are straight or virgins.
Bleh they are both fugly. The Jonas brothers are all ugly as well.
Good lord those two are ugly.
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
www.tignation.net
I take it none of you guys have ever seen a little movie known as CAMP ROCK!, a little Disney channel show called JONAS, or for that matter, have ever seen these guys in interviews..
Because if you had, it is painfully obvious that Kevin IS the gay Jonas.. I've known lots of vain rocker straight guys like Joe - he has the gayest look certainly, but he seems straight. Kevin sets off gaydar like no other..
"Instead of throwing rice, Kevin's peen will throw coagulated jizz at his bride..."
pure magic.
I think he's gonna be bald in about 5 years.
She's 22 years old and she's already a 'former' hairdresser? She's giving up on working already? She's just going to be the ugly Jonas's fuck toy? The only thing I was at 22 was a former child and student. There was actually something to be after that besides someones wife. UGH!
a cherry will be popped this weekend, or so he claims. we should all keep our ears open. I am sure it will be a very loose pop...
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slap me silly and call me Sally...
She looks like Janice from "Friends".
And wtf, this picture is so stupid.
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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
His bracelet is the gayest thing I've ever seen. I mean, look at it...Even Bobby Trendy would find that shit too frou-frou fruity to wear...Boy is TEH GHEY....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Oral, anal, and handjobs still count as sex. Jes sayin Jonas bros!
Apparently Kevin Jonas is burning up for longtime girlfriend Danielle Deleasa and they won’t be waiting to marry for much longer. Kevin and Danielle will be tying the knot on Saturday, E! News reports. The lovebugs will reportedly be exchanging their vows at Long Island’s Oheka Castle.
A source tells E! News that the location is a family-run and French chateau-inspired space. Joey Fatone from ‘N Sync was also married there and scenes from Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher ’s What Happens in Vegas.
Pedestals Florist will arrange Danielle’s bouquets for the big day, E! reports.
Kevin and Danielle’s engagement was confirmed on July 1 this year.
Wonder if his brothers will be doing a special performance for the happy couple?
I'm kinda hoping their fugness will consume them when they put peen to pussy.
I didn't know Haylie Duff and Kevin Jonas were dating!
IDGAF
♥ Threadkilla!
A long time ago, when the gays weren't all in your face about it...
~ Don't look at me! I didn't say that!
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Thu, 12/17/2009 - 8:16pm.
Hexum/Sexum = Jon Erik Hexum, late hot piece.
My older brother knew him from MSU. Had the wildest stories about the kid who was on the Voyagers show with him.
Hexum/Sexum = Jon Erik Hexum, late hot piece.
She's hoping for a Tiger Woods situation. He's too young and too famous to be faithful. She checks out with a big wad of cash.
P.S. I saw the Jonas Family on Oprah. I would HATE to have that woman as my MIL. *shudders*
Ya know, this whole "virgin" thing is the biggest crock of shit! A dear Morman friend of mine remained a "virgin" until her wedding, but she did admit they did EVERYTHING but penetration! HEAVY neckin & oral sex all the time, so the "cherry" wasn't popped and she passed her exam (gross!) so she was allowed a full on Morman Temple wedding.
Since she shared this lovely little story with me, I will NEVER believe anyone who tells me they're a "virgin" and make me believe their sessy parts have never been caressed, touched or sucked and licked like a crazy mothafucka!!!
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pussies going spastic usually make me feel queasy - MK
virgin my ass!!
Coma Caca!!
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Hello make an "Appointment" with The Back End of me, the FUDGE PACKER!
"You're wedding night should be about sloppy, obnoxious, fun and wild sex.
Not cherry popping.
Betcha he blows his load before he even gets past the meat curtains."
Thak MK and ME for making me laugh my ass off. That girl is so horsey I suspect he found her at the same stable that bred SJP. When she smiles her upper lip curls up where it used to be before her nose job. Yech!
I love me my Rabbit!!!!
I'm sure she'll need to bring hers on the honeymoon. The wedding night for virgins is sure to be disappointing.
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Submitted by CindyBman on Thu, 12/17/2009 - 6:27pm.
Can somebody explain the rabbit-thing to me? I admit, I'm dense!
Also, who is Hexum/Sexum?
8====================> (_*_)
Rabbit = very popular dildo/vibrator line (see link MK posted)
Hexum-Sexum = Jon Erick Hexum, a late Hollywood hunk from the 80s...Lots of pics are bound to come up if you Google him
"I AM a Bartender!...I do great things!" - Angelina from Jersey Shore
Gosh, I find them so offensive. They're not cute, I don't like their music, they annoy me, their fans annoy me and they are as interesting as my puppy's nail trimmings...really.
no me jodas!
Can somebody explain the rabbit-thing to me? I admit, I'm dense!
Also, who is Hexum/Sexum?
Sorry if there are obvious, well-known answers to these questions.
Thanks!
Shit, he won't last 30 seconds in the sack, especially not the first couple of times. I feel sorry for her.
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"Boy was so bursting with fruity goodness I could almost taste the effin' rainbow." - Plecostomus 12/15/09
Now this is a sex tape i wanna see.. his confusion over seein the vaj for the first time would make my day....
Speaking of sex toys, nice to see the cone is back. Although I wouldn't advertise that Kate Middleton's the proud owner of one, she looks like she hasn't gotten properly laid, ever.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Thu, 12/17/2009 - 6:02pm.
SpiceDong -- your avie is freakin' me out! Nice butt, but so much hair. Please tell me that's not Hexum/Sexum!
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LOL sadly not Hexum...but i can only dream what his butt looked like...probably just as hairy.
"I AM a Bartender!...I do great things!" - Angelina from Jersey Shore
joe jonas is the one who eats the
sausage. gett it right guys
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There's no greater way to gain an audience's sympathy than by being unfortunate.-Seth Green
If either of them are still virgin's she isn't going to know what an orgasm is for YEARS! Unless they are into watching porn and reading up on sex to try and make it more pleasurable.
But I get strickly missionary from these two twats.
Virgins? They are so full of shit. There is no way that young horny boys are saying no, I don't care what kind of rings they are wearing.
P.S. I think it is the middle one that is gay. And this one is the oldest one. I think.
SpiceDong -- your avie is freakin' me out! Nice butt, but so much hair. Please tell me that's not Hexum/Sexum!
Loathe the word 'bone'. Sounds like a Kardashian comment!
ok MK doesnt usually gross me out because I usually know what to expect from him, every vile & vulgar thing known to man will be condensed & put into hilarious commentary, but the 'peen throwing coagulated jizz on the bride' almost made me lose my fishy lunch.....im still shivering.
Submitted by putsomestankonit on Thu, 12/17/2009 - 5:41pm.
Getting married just to have sex is wrong.
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Word.
And she'll need the rabbit anyway because if he's really a virgin, I doubt he'll be able to make her cum.
"I AM a Bartender!...I do great things!" - Angelina from Jersey Shore
Besides marrying the ugly one (not saying much) she also has to live with the fact that she married some Disney boy band member. And money won't cushion the blow because I doubt 2-3 years from now anyone will know what a Jonas Brother is.
And as already been mentioned he's a virgin. I doubt she is, so she'll know he sucks. At least if she was as well she'd be to naive to know any better.
be gentle...
I wonder which strap-on she will use?
The area that once held a hymen just screamed for mercy.
You're wedding night should be about sloppy, obnoxious, fun and wild sex.
Not cherry popping.
Betcha he blows his load before he even gets past the meat curtains.
Mk, this isn't the gay one, he's the dad one...
* * * * I HEART CAVEMEN & DEXTER * * * *
be gentle...
Her ass will be sore ......
he looks like he's at least 40 in that pic
No matter how much money he's got, it isn't enough to marry a guy that ugly who ALSO doesn't know how to fuck.
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I don't want to possess you, I wish to marry you because I love you.
Look back... look back at me.
Are you coming home with me?
The Rabbit; every woman's best friend - all of the pleasure with none of the drama!
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Live Your Life Like Brian Kinney Said:
No Excuses, No Apologies, No Regrets.
Once he figures out what a vagina is he'll quickly realize he's gay.
No pretty babies coming out this union. Ugly!
It figures Joe (the one with the straight hair) would be the gay one -- the cutest ones always are, well, as cute as a Jonas brother can be, which ain't much. Remember his romance with Taylor Swift?
Getting married just to have sex is wrong.
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Feed the world, damnit!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jEnTSQStGE
good lord he is UGLAY
If these two breed, they will have the most unfortunate looking children together. Their features would not mesh well. Ugh.
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♥*♥*♥*♥*♥* Why do you ride women that look like men?! Why do you ride hippos?! *♥*♥*♥*♥*♥