Monday, December 21st 2009
Jessica Simpson Being Jessica Simpson
Here's a video of Jessica Simpson's ear having intercourse with a flaming candle while a gay villain (Ken Paves?) cackles in the background. The obvious explanation for this is that Jessica is just partaking in a little ear candling to get all the wax out. But personally, I think the gay villain played a joke on her dumb ass by telling her this is the quickest way to warm up your brain after it freezes from downing a Slurpee too fast. You know the gay villain is getting off on Jessica moaning in pain like she's getting fisted by this guy without lube.
Actually, maybe this is a viral video for Papa John's. Now we know what the secret ingredient in their dipping sauce is.
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She will do that but she won't let guys cum in her mouth? I don't get it.
Maybe she'll be able to hear now that all of the guys she's fucked and will ever fuck will never, ever marry her?
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"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
Yeah Perez is always kissing dumb celebs asses...this site always cracks me up and puts me in a good mood.
Submitted by futuremexican on Mon, 12/21/2009 - 8:20pm.
I also noticed how he of ripped shit from MK's post.
Haha, that's funny- they made selling ear candling sets at stores illegal in Texas. (Of course you can whip up your own rig, but they are considered unsafe and innefective.)
stupid vapid cunt, don't be all stupid with your home ear remedies. Stupid damn caked up ear wax is giving me a headache right now but am I sticking a burning flame in close proximity to my luxurious highly flamable locks? NO! I'm being all 21 century and going to the doctors to get if bloody flushed out, damn half deafness is driving me nutso.....
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"So what was all that about enlarged holes and tight cracks?" -Enid
http://perezhilton.com/2009-12-21-jessica-simpson-is-as-dumb-as-she-look...
I love how Perez tries to be as funny as this site...He sucks.
Call me nuts, but I heard a Jessica Simpson song at a Friendly's during lunch. A cover of a X-Mas jingle "Let It Snow". I swear, she wasn't that bad a singer. Now she's craving publicity? Disonore!
She is ear candling. It a bogus treatment supposed to remove ear wax and debris. Totally stupid!
The New Agers who try to sell this stuff even claim it will clear gunk out of you sinuses. Funny how these "alternative" healers forgot about the ear drum blocking any access to the inner ear!
She has nothing and/or no one in her life to preoccupy herself with, yet here she has found her purpose,this uhmm? candle wax thingy here. Well Done.
ILPS: You aren't missing much. Gay background dude cackling and dimwit screeching.
I wonder if I could get this ditz to believe you could clean out your ears with a can of compressed gas keyboard duster??
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Santa said "Look, in the snow
A traveling bordello show
Nice little lookers
I counted three hookers
Which leads me to say: Ho Ho Ho!"
Gay background dude really needs to be slapped.
The video wont load for me. Obviously I'm not missing much.
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"The Count on Sesame Street is scarier and more captivating than those preening whack vamps from Twilight." DListed user Master Blaster 6/09/09 (So true!)
Follow me on Twitter @t_rex_arms
Ear candling....jesus. Idiots will believe anything.
She could seal her pie hole shut with the candle wax. I'd watch that video.
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Santa said "Look, in the snow
A traveling bordello show
Nice little lookers
I counted three hookers
Which leads me to say: Ho Ho Ho!"
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 12/21/2009 - 10:06am.
The MOST annoying bitch on the planet. I bet she tells knock-knock jokes during sex... just FUCKING annoying.
If i was having sex with Jessica Simpson and she started telling Knock Knock jokes i would not give a shit because I'M HAVING SEX WITH JESSICA SIMPSON!!!!!!!
Knock knock
Whos there?
ElB
ElB who?
ElBs dick is in you!
I used to do this semi-regularly in the early 90's even though I never saw any evidence that it worked for me or anyone. It was a very new-agey thing to do during my new-agey period (thankfully brief.)
Now that I've put my brain back in my head I realize who completely ineffective and downright stupid ear coning (I never heard it called candling) is.
GodDAMN I was dumb when I was younger...
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"Kirsten suspected she might be knocked up when her monthly batch of menstrual berries weren't delivered to her vagina dock. " -- Michael K.
I'm too busy eating sopa to watch that fuckery, someone give me a play by play?
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http://www.freddyfruitcake.co.uk/euphemisms.html
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 12/21/2009 - 12:41pm.
LMAO!! Stoney, I totally read your "IIIIIDOIOT" in Ren's voice, from Ren & Stimpy.
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Me too! That's funny!
LMAO!! Stoney, I totally read your "IIIIIDOIOT" in Ren's voice, from Ren & Stimpy.
The link to that abnormal hand-thing should be labeled NSFL
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www.myspace.com/lazeechile
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDIOT!!!
You should never do at-home remedies on your fucking ears!
I hope the wax seeps into her inner ear rendering her permanently fucking deaf!
Retarded whore!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
She is drunk as shit. :D That's adorable!
Don't love me like you do.
Lord bless her heart
I have to end up using them every year because I tend to get ear infections in the winter. It works. But leave it to her to make it look like something only idiots would do.
Champaign for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends
Uhm.............What. The. Fuck.
I've never heard of this and WHY post it on twatter?
ahaha my great grandmother passed this tradition on to us lolz trust this it feels good at first then after ur ear itches like a motherfucker I did it two months ago and my ear has never been the same. your ear NEEDS some wax in it... to protect ur brain and shit
Oh, and thank you MK for ensuring that I will never use Papa John's garlic butter ever again. Now please tell me a story about chocolate cake.
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"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." ~ Pink
Jessica's another one that I love for no reason. I can't help but think she'd be hilarious to hang out with, and she appears, from all accounts I've ever heard, to be a nice person. If the worst thing she ever does is amuse the world with her idiocy, then I think she's doing alright...
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"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." ~ Pink
What the hell IS this fuckery anyway?
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
Submitted by Snarkley on Mon, 12/21/2009 - 10:07am.
There ARE such things as Q tips.
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gawd, I used to love digging in my ear with a Q-tip, but you're not supposed to do that. I've been to the doctor twice in the last month for an ear infection. The first thing he did was accuse me of using Q-tips (which I had not used in a couple of weeks). He said the inner ear takes care of itself, don't put *anything* in there. Then he gave me a prescription for ear drops and I said, what do I do with these? He said, put them in your ear.
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
You're stunned, I know. It's hard to believe isn't it, that beneath this wrinkled, well-fed exterior there lies a dangerous killing machine with a fetish for Fawkesian masks.
So dumb. Now take your clothes off.
Maybe Ken was trying to set her on fire because youre supposed to blow them out first. What a dumb bitch. Ive used them and I actually like them.. for me they work great.
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I hope by age five Suri "refuses" to wear anything but pasties and a thong. - madam s.
I tried an Ear Candle one time, but that was when I was a kid and we were visiting the Amish country. It works minimally at best. (at the time I jumped on the idea because I didn't want to have to go back to the doctor to get my ears flushed out again...now that used to irritate me like a bitch.)
I don't know what Jessica's screaming about, it's painless. The crackle of the earwax is the only annoying part.
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"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." [Mrs. Kravitz of dlisted.com]
uhhh....youre supposed to blow it out first...who holds fire that close to their hair? DUH
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“I think that marijuana should not only be legal, I think it should be a cottage industry.” -Stephen King
How old is this girl. Seriously, she's like learning disabled or something.
Upper right corner - "twitvid"
Hahahahaha
What the fuck? Am I missing something? Why would ANYONE think that sticking a burning candle in their ear would help remove earwax? That is the STUPIDEST thing I have heard for weeks.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
ugh I can't stand this retarded twat
Submitted by tommyboy on Mon, 12/21/2009 - 10:28am.
First of all,,ear candling is bunk,,the "wax" that is sucked from the ear is just the brown residue from the waxy paper from the burning candle. It is painless and she is being a retarded drama freak by screaming..it takes more suction than a little heat from a hollow candle to flush out years of wax buildup..she should stick one up her pussy and suck out all the years of dried cum and bacteria.
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhahahahahahhahahahahaahahahah
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" the lovely snowpiece 11/25/09
That looks like a real "ear candle" which is really not a candle at all but gauze dipped in beeswax and rolled into a tapered cylinder.
They sell em at health food stores.
I am 50/50 whether or not they really draw anything out of your ear but I have used them on others and had it done on my ear once. If you cut the tube open after it's burned down, there is gunk in it but it may be just beeswax not ear goo.
I always used an aluminum pie pan with a hole cut in it in between the candle and the person's ear.
It smokes more than it drips, I've never seen one drip.
Why she would have it flaming away beside a Christmas tree just shows how really dumb she is.
I can't believe people actually used to clip little candles onto their Christmas trees.
First of all,,ear candling is bunk,,the "wax" that is sucked from the ear is just the brown residue from the waxy paper from the burning candle. It is painless and she is being a retarded drama freak by screaming..it takes more suction than a little heat from a hollow candle to flush out years of wax buildup..she should stick one up her pussy and suck out all the years of dried cum and bacteria.
think of sunglasses as portable eyeshadow
i hate facebook/twitter and all that comes with it...but now i shamelessly admit i am on both...wtf is wrong with me....
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A new kitty lapping up milk trumps old pussy coughing up hair balls any day.
I can't watch the clip, but if it was Jessica the wax would come out the other ear. Nothing in between to stop it.
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May Your Christmas Dreams Come True!
I EAT YOUR EARWAX WITH A NICE CHIANTI!!
NOMNOMNOM
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
It's nice to see she is taking Brittany's death pretty well.
this is so hazardous and there are easier ways to irrigate an ear
This is ridiculous. I hate Facebook, Twitter, et al. It doesn't look like Jessica only because she is light on the makeup here.
P. S. I thought this treatment was done in salons, not at home with a Papa John's pizza box and surrounded by flammable items.
Submitted by luscious_t on Mon, 12/21/2009 - 10:13am.
anybody ever use those?
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My wife uses them all the time. Of course, she's an idiot... sooooooo
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" the lovely snowpiece 11/25/09
This isn't Jessica. Sure looks like her tho. this type of thing works, but not w/this kind of candle. with the right candle, the heat warms up the ear wax in ur ear and then you can get it out. But this is old, old, old school - you can simply go to a doctor now and have it removed. With a lot less pain then what this girl is going thru. Crazy people.
anybody ever use those?
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luscious_t likes this. *thumbs up*
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
~cheetos & frapp~