Tuesday, December 22nd 2009
Open Post: Hosted By Kevin & Danielle Jonas
After getting married on Saturday, Kevin Jonas and that Danielle chick went off to Mexico to commence with the non-stop fornication! Or in Danielle's case, to commence with the non-stop texting!
If you have never done sex before and God finally gives you the OK by winking at you during your wedding ceremony, shouldn't you take all them panties off and fuck until your genitals cry for mercy?
To be fair, maybe these two are just taking a break. Although, Danielle could at least pretend like she cares. Gold digging is a full time job.
Danielle, tell Tiger Woods you'll text him after the honeymoon and put that shit down. A Jonas prostate needs massaging!
• 
2 fuglies seem like they are enjoying themselves.
on topic: she's beautiful and he's a young flavio briatore. UGH!
Geez, I just read that Jack got his walking papers. She does deserve a kick in the cooter for doing this before Christmas. However, from what I've read, it's completely consistent of her arse. Seems you got peace about it, almost relief though so that's how you know you did everything you could. No need to keep beating dead horses. Anyway, I am by far not a regular here but I wish you the best.
Whoa, everybody is here? Good morning, people! :-)
I just read that Carrie Underwear's engagement ring is 12 carats...that is a big damned ring! She must actually be nice to him!
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
Happy Xmas kids!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwqWcn2gbTM (i dare you not to smile!)
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He's the guy that steals your wallet, then helps you look for it.
You bitches are the best.
I heart you all!
Joy to your world.xoxoxoxoxoxo.
urmomma- I know your hopes are dashed for today but there's still time. Get your good cry out and look on the bright side- you have something to look forward to tomorrow. Buying for the kiddos is so much fun!
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Aw, urmomma. It's the holidays. Everyone is fucking crying about something. I'm sure the lab tech understands.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Jill, here's all you need:
http://blogs.houstonpress.com/eating/Spotted_Dick475.jpg
Is it OK to drink 8 O'Clock coffee at lunchtime? Mmmm.
Still waiting for that spotted dick recipe.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 12/23/2009 - 11:26am.
*rubs self on Stoney's boss's Scholl doodah*
Raawwrrrr...!
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 12/23/2009 - 11:22am.
You can shop tomorrow, urmomma! It's gonna be ok! *hugs*
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*dies*
Never been hugged by Stoney before...urmomma likes.
Thanks, dear. I was having a moment of pure selfishness.
Oh and the shame...I was wet faced and eyes swollen and one of the lab techs from downstairs came in with some results. She just handed me the results and left quietly.
Joy to your world.xoxoxoxoxoxo.
I cant wait for Easter.
LMAO at ESE - THERE LIKE A 1.19 YOU FUCKING HIPPIE LOSER!!
*goes off with ESE to blur the day* I NO WORKY TODAY!!! DRINKY DRINKY!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" the lovely snowpiece 11/25/09
This is the first year I've gotten him anything. This gift was just screaming his name because he's always bitching about his back. And I figured we can share it, lol. Yes, it does vibrate.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Stoney- I think we got the same thing for my BF mom. i hope she likes it as much...... ungratefulho, lastchristmaspresentisinthebasement
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Mah uncheque got deposited at midnight! WOOT!
*rumages through bills to see what I can pay*
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 12/23/2009 - 11:22am.
MY HEART HURTS I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE. I DON'T LIKE FEELINGS.
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C'mere and let me rub your ass and make it all better.
Joy to your world.xoxoxoxoxoxo.
*throws mince pies at everyone*
Seriously, they made me tipsy!
It's because I don't drink alc that often...
You can shop tomorrow, urmomma! It's gonna be ok! *hugs*
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 12/23/2009 - 11:20am.
HAHHAHHA I got my boss a Dr. Scholls chair massager for xmas and he turned it on and he keeps going "Oh lawdy! Oh lawdy that feels good!"
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Does it vibrate?
If yes, I need one too for....ehh...work.
MY HEART HURTS I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE. I DON'T LIKE FEELINGS.
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Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:59pm.
suckandfuck you are by far the most vile person here
i didn't get shit for my boss. never have.
i'll will take an alcoholic mince pie please!
Jack- they are playing Cry Me A River on the radio right now- it must be for you :)
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
*walks in whistling happy tune*... *unlocks liquor cabinet*... *grabs vodka*... *tosses jack Reese's peanut butter cups*... *waves hi to all*... *sets off to blur the day*
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"Rome was not built in a day
Opposition will come your way
But the harder the battle, you see
Is the sweeter the victory"
Submitted by Mother Superior on Wed, 12/23/2009 - 11:18am.
*Raises hand*
Anyone wants an alcoholic mince pie...?
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
Tribble post....my gosh...
*hugs thread and tries not to get snot on your shirts...or crotch*
The ck is direct deposited...it will be there tonight and I know that there are families who won't have that going for them, so, Imma done bitchin' and cryin'.
*puts on big girl panties and hitches them up*
Joy to your world.
xoxoxoxoxoxo.
HAHHAHHA I got my boss a Dr. Scholls chair massager for xmas and he turned it on and he keeps going "Oh lawdy! Oh lawdy that feels good!"
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Dabbelposht....sowwy.
bitchette and M.E. ITA
sucky - damn skippy on the fucking timing... she's not gonna take from behind by the xmas tree from good ole santa this year... oh wait, I left my suit there... maybe she will
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" the lovely snowpiece 11/25/09
Anyone wants an Port and Brandy mince pie...?
*hick*
I watched THE HANGOVER last night it was highlarryus!
/\
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
Anyone wants an alcoholic mince pie...?
*hick*
uh.. ME wtf are you talking about?? i'm lost here, though that sounds like fun ;)
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 12/23/2009 - 11:12am.
Well said, M.E.
It's just mean to play with someone's feelings this way. Today no, tomorrow yes?! Too confusing and in women language it means NO in the end.
Merry Fucking Christmas!
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Bitchette - the bicycle with the dildo on the end?!?!?!?
That was it for me.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 12/23/2009 - 11:10am.
It's colder than a witches fucking tit here today.
Stupid saying. Witches are always hanging over boiling cauldrons stirring bat wings and toads! HOT TITSSSSSSSS!
I agree with M.E.
i think she was a little to hasty with the official papers, and is now thinking WTF did i do???!!
Urmomma- that sucks honey. but tomorrow! :)
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
I WILL DISCUSS IT ONLY SLIGHTLY MORE. I WAS MAKING MY TACOS THINKING "WHAT WAS SHE UP TO WHEN SHE WENT TO SEE HER...NIECE..OR WHOEVER GOT THE BOOB JOB. HUH? WHAT WAS SHE UP TO THAT SHE COMES BACK WITH DIVORCE PAPERS READY". AND HER TIMING IS REALLY AWFUL.
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Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:59pm.
suckandfuck you are by far the most vile person here
Jack - when you figure out women, let me know K??
BFWIW, IMHO, your wifey wants her cake and eat it too. She know's you love her, and you have put up with her shit for xxx years. She jumped the gun, thinking the grass was greener, now in a moment of clarity, she's thinking, shit. I can stay with a man who will put up with my gambling, etc, or I can leave and not know what to expect.
Kick her to the curb.
Easier said than done. I know. But sometimes you gotta think about you.
Submitted by urmomma on Wed, 12/23/2009 - 11:01am.
Oh man, that sucks girl. :( Sorry about that.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Wed, 12/23/2009 - 11:06am.
sucky- I made pork loin last night and it looked so much like a peen I thought of you.
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You're very sweet.
JACK,loooooplolplll this Mae West is just a bitter divorcee. Marvin is a troll I think.
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Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:59pm.
suckandfuck you are by far the most vile person here
My boss brought mince pies.
They were drenched in Port and Brandy. I think I ate too many.....I feel drunk! Still at work.
Oh Lord...!
@ urmomma...I don't think the banks even look at the dates of the checks anymore. Either way, that does suck. Employer should pony up for the mistake.
Just my 2 cents
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
M.E.
Cold as shit here too!!! It's snowing like an effer up North and that cold air is drifting down here. Brrrr!!!!
I was watching the inside of my GD eyelids at 7:30 last night. I swear John Grisham is trying to slowly bore me to death with his latest novel.
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M.E. we had to turn that shit off after 2 min when they started the gay porn. no thank you.
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 12/23/2009 - 11:08am.
Hey there MS!!
*grabs M.E.'s boooobies*
Stoney - I guess so. I don't get women. I DONT WANNA UNDERSTAND THEM THEY SCARE JACK! FEAR THE BAGINA!!
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Be strong, darl.
We all know Stoney and you are made for each other.