Monday, December 28th 2009
Squinty Knows What To Do
Because everyone knows that the quickest way to becoming a fag's main hag is to charm his mother, the gay fly paper known as Squinty Zellweger hung all over Bradley Cooper's mother while shopping for furniture in Los Angeles the other day. B.Coop's mama je'e, who kind of looks like Janice the Muppet after eating Fozzy Bear, was in town for the Christmas holiday.
Squinty looks like she just swallowed an entire bong. Acting all giggly and shit. Bitch needs to keep it together. And B. Coop's mother looks like she's trying to figure out why her son's lovely new boyfriend uses the ladies restroom and keeps tampons under his bathroom sink.
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I think I'm the only woman in America who doesn't find Bradley attractive.
Jeez, Bradley Cooper's mom, surgery much? Am I the only one seeing it?
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"Kirsten suspected she might be knocked up when her monthly batch of menstrual berries weren't delivered to her vagina dock. " -- Michael K.
Squinty looks drunk. I would be annoyed if I were Brad's mum.
I can't hate on her thinness, because, we all know I have fucked up body perception and I'd love to have squinties body.
I like how skinny she is. I wasn't going to go to the gym today, but I think I will go now. Thanks Squinty for keeping me on track!
GAG. What a fake. She's putting on for the Streisand-esqe mother.
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Champion fist-pumper and true inventor of the friggin' pouf.
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Tue, 12/29/2009 - 1:38am
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ITA! Have never been able to figure out why in this day & age someone has to hide who they really are. What a truly, very sad way to live.
Bradley Cooper is adorable.
And is Renee drunk in these photos?
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Dale Doback: Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go!
It is always nice when a guy's Mom and Beard get along well.
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If you're all alone when the pretty birds have flown, Honey I'm still free, Take a chance on me
Hah! I thought that was Barbara Streisand too - until I saw the other photos with her tight skinned jawline.
Looks like she's picking Squinty's nose in that first pic. Yep, they're thick as thieves those two.
I've never seen a black straight jacket before (thumbnail 3, that is what it looks like!)
I like her pants, but then, I'm kind of butch, too, though I'm not lesbian.
I can see where Bradley got his jawline from, except his mom is looking a wee too Donatella in the face. Renee looks as hungry as ever.
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LOL! She looks like she's saying:
"Look, haha, it works! We told them we're getting married and now they follow me everywhere*giggle*"
♥ Threadkilla!
A long time ago, when the gays weren't all in your face about it...
~ Don't look at me! I didn't say that!
I seriously thought that was Barbra Streisand, which would be fittıng because B.Coop is definitely a friend of Dorothy's...and Barbra's too
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
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Oh MichaelK, Come out, come out, wherever you are and meet the young lady, who fell from a star.
She fell from the sky, she fell very far and Kansas, she says, is the name of the star...
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If you're all alone when the pretty birds have flown, Honey I'm still free, Take a chance on me
My ex boyfriends ex girlfriend used to be her manager at the Limited when she worked there. They said she wasn't gay...but was a bitch.
Meh, people change, I guess.
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If Shia LaBeouf and a gay-faced bobcat from the 1980s had a meth baby..... Stun. Ning.
the fuck is so funny? huh?
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Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:59pm.
suckandfuck you are by far the most vile person here
I had no idea Barbara Streisand was B.Coop's mother...!?!?!
Just watched the RZ and BC movie "Case 39" and peee-eeww - what a stinker.
My theory on the Zellweger/Chesney marriage:
They got married within a few months of dating. If I'm not mistaken she filed for an annulment and claimed fraud. Me thinks she was knocked up, they had a shotgun wedding, and she had a miscarriage. Once there was no baby - things got ugly and *poof*. If either of them were gay, they would've dragged out the dating the marriage or the divorce.
*joins the Baba Stwaysand team
Renee hasn't had that much body contact with Bradly himself, huh?!
Renee does look like she's trying too hard and Mama Je'e looks like she's doing the nice laugh, you know because you don't want it to be awkward so you pretend it's funny. when inside you're thinking 'bitch leave me alone!'.
I admire Squinty for fighting her destiny to be the Anita Bryant of our times.
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Bottom-feeder.
Submitted by EatYourVeggies on Tue, 12/29/2009 - 2:08am
Renee, while not the best choice to outsiders like us (I mean she's not that hot and her face is too puffy and tight to be considered even mildly attractive) is the perfect hag. Not only is she a "serious" actress, she's in with the who's who of the A-list (George Clooney and the rest), and will give him greater pull in Hollywood.
I think getting dumped by that skinny dickhead of the White Stripes did a number on Squinty. She ain't been right since is all I'm saying, damn...gay cowboy and now this.
People
"Miss Kenny Chesney"
hee hee
His mother looks like one of the old rich ladies I would encounter at the local Trader Joe's.
WTF is Beardley doing with Renee anyways?
He can find a hotter hag.
To me, Mama sort of looks like Donatella Versace with a few pounds and a haircut.
She's gotta be high.
Cuz I got high,
Cuz I got high.
Somehow Zellweger's attack of the giggles doesn't ring natural. She comes off looking like a drunk stranger harassing mommy Cooper. It would be pretty sad if she had to do all this to cover up his or her homosexuality. You only have one life to live. Live it your way, as long as your bed partners are consensual and above age. I like Zellweger by the way, because she seems very down to earth and sweet.
Damn. I also thought that was The Barbra.
Is Renee always jogging?
Or just looking like she's always jogging?
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"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
OK, so I like Renee (who at the very least, wasn't in 'Nine') and don't want her to get all screwed over 'cause she's got a big trusting heart. So if this Cooper fellow is gay, please stop making innuendo and just tell her. I can't believe she'd do the Chestny thing twice.
Holy Shit!
I thought that was Maniston!
She and Squinty the Spinsters having a holiday drink and such.
Jesus!
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"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 12/29/2009 - 12:33am.
I don't get why people are still pretending not to be gay.
Is it really still that big a deal?
Who the fuck cares?!
I DO! How am I to enjoy romantic comedies with this knowledge?
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"A man with crushed or cut-off testicles shall not enter into the assembly of the Lord"-Deuteronomy 23:1
Lemon menthol dried up bitch.
Rumor has it Bradley Cooper and Eric Dane will play gay lovers in the upcoming 'Valentine's Day' movie to be released next year.
http://www.popeater.com/2009/12/28/wheres-the-gay-storyline-in-valentine...
I don't get why people are still pretending not to be gay.
Is it really still that big a deal?
Who the fuck cares?!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
A Dlisted Public Service Announcement: http://www.paris-kim.com/potholes/munch.htm
http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2009-03/24/reports-of-my-death.aspx?...
Submitted by TimC on Tue, 12/29/2009 - 12:18am.
Um, Mr Mercury, you're not making any sense. Unless you are implying that Miss Chesney fraudulently misrepresented himself as a gay man, and then demanded his conjugal rights to Squinty's vajajay after the wedding.
Nope, you're looking at it backwards. Squinty filed for divorce claiming fraud on the part of Miss Chesney, which was obvious that she thought she was marrying a straight man. She refused to divulge the reason for the fraud, leading Kenny to boast all over Boot.com (a CW music gossip site) about all the "gay rumors" and the number of women he had bedded up to that time.
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Tue, 12/29/2009 - 12:03am.
Submitted by sushi on Mon, 12/28/2009 - 11:15pm.
What would they be giggling about? "Can you believe people believe I am blowing your gay son especially after I dated the poster boy for closeted country music singers?"
Um, Sushi honey, Squinty married that poster boy for closted country music singers without shirt sleeves. Part of her divorce action was "fraud" on the part of Miss Kenny Chesney.
Um, Mr Mercury, you're not making any sense. Unless you are implying that Miss Chesney fraudulently misrepresented himself as a gay man, and then demanded his conjugal rights to Squinty's vajajay after the wedding.
What the hell is the matter with Mama's jawline? Bad plastic surgery? Couldn't Brad C spend a little bit more on his mom's "rejuvenation?"
Bradley Cooper is gay. This is a bearding situation...I thought RZ learned from her marriage to Big Gay Cowboy?
Another cute guy with an ugly mom. WHOA.
Is Renee a regular diner at the Y, if I ain't being too subtle? Why else must she need to date a gay dude? She is rich doesn't need the money to be his beard...i wonder if she needs one just as much? Regardless she seems like a nice person. Why charade? Fly it loud and proud! it's not like it's a bane anymore in the industry. Such a waste of energy.
Beards need love, too :-P
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"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli."
Submitted by sushi on Mon, 12/28/2009 - 11:15pm.
What would they be giggling about? "Can you believe people believe I am blowing your gay son especially after I dated the poster boy for closeted country music singers?"
Um, Sushi honey, Squinty married that poster boy for closted country music singers without shirt sleeves. Part of her divorce action was "fraud" on the part of Miss Kenny Chesney.
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
has anyone noticed bcoop mom's shoes? eek
Submitted by ScarfnBarf on Mon, 12/28/2009 - 11:49pm.
Looks like BCoop's the beard - the real chemistry is between squinty and his mom. After furniture shopping, they hit Girl Bar.
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I'd sooner believe Renee's banging the mom than the supposed boyfriend. Does Renee have a movie coming out because I keep seeing "candid" photos of her?
Looks like BCoop's the beard - the real chemistry is between squinty and his mom. After furniture shopping, they hit Girl Bar.
Look, she's strangling her.
"I don't want my son making my grandchildren with you, you Squinty McLemonpuss!!!"
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Santa said "Look, in the snow
A traveling bordello show
Nice little lookers
I counted three hookers
Which leads me to say: Ho Ho Ho!"