Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess
This actor may be the last straight man left in Hollywood, but he does have one unusual request that makes us question his past. This one requires one man (him), two partners (in this case both women), and a room temperature traditionally-shaped bottle of Coca-Cola. When he is about to climax into one woman, the other one shakes up the bottle of Coke and shoves it up his bum. The objective is to have two explosions at once. Given his screen history, we’re guessing that this actor rather likes big explosions. And, given his bedroom history, we’re guessing that neither of these women is his wife. (Blind Gossip)
I highly respect this Coke fucker for using Coca-Cola instead of Pepsi. I don't mean to offend any Pepsi lovers out there (Yes, I do), but personally I wouldn't let my asshole drink Pepsi even if it had cotton mouth in a bad way, which it usually does. I give it Pedialyte when that happens. Anyway, my guesses are Charlie Sheen or Josh Duhamel?
This B list male reality star who is sort of related to another group of reality stars has always been known for being a bit of a player. OK, a lot of player. BUT, his playing has always been of the heterosexual variety. Well, on a recent promotional, make me some money trip out of the country he decided to take the plunge and enjoyed himself not only with many women but also at least one guy. (CDAN)
Brody Jenner? Exhibit: A
What C list actress on a middling network comedy in a great time slot has a big problem with drugs. It isn't that she has overdosed or anything like that, but she is deeply in debt to her drug dealer who has been collecting payments lately by showing up on the set of her show and having alone time with our actress. Everyone on the set thinks the guy is her boyfriend so don't understand why she is so freaked out whenever he shows up. (CDAN)
I'm going to guess any C-List actress on Community or Parks and Recreation.
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@CholaMom: Unfortunately, 'What What in the Butt' is a real song; here's a link to the video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU&feature=fvw
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
On the other hand, Jack Nicholson is not known for action films.
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"Now you see that evil will always triumph...because good is dumb."
For the first blind item the first person I thought of, right off the bat, was Jack Nicholson. He's pretty up there in age and is a known sex and coke fiend (apparently the powder and liquid kind).
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"Now you see that evil will always triumph...because good is dumb."
hey Mk, I am so team Coke too! Coca-Cola I mean of course! No Pepsi for me as well! I'll rather drink water
Is the third one Patricia Heaton?? LOL! Raymond probably drove her crazy!
if brody jenner had sex with a guy that wasn't me - i'm going to kill myself. lol
Brody Jenner is a lock on that second item. "Exhibit A" had me laughing out loud.
This must be up-the-butt week. Ow!
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Bad decisions make great stories.
Nah, Julia Louis Dreyfuss is ridiculous, stupid, crazy rich. Never mind her acting career, she's a mega heiress, so I don't see her being hard up like that.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Wed, 01/06/2010 - 1:53am.
I'm dying over here! My friend had the album with this song on it; we used to listen to it and laugh ourselves silly.
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"If I have to spend an eternity of eternities burning in hell, it's better than spending one good day in heaven WITH YOU!" --Brian Kinney, to his mother
Submitted by LASux on Wed, 01/06/2010 - 4:41am.
There's a whole Medical Book devoted to this topic. Vanity Fair once printed excerpts from it.
It seems patients have showed up to the ER with just about everything shoved up their azz....Light Bulbs, flashlights, end table legs, broomsticks, baseball bats, prosthetic legs, lamps, vacuum hoses, and my favorite story....a gay couple with the brilliant idea of using a cemet enema that had to be Chiseled out in rectal surgery.
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WTF is WRONG with some people? Lightbulbs? prostetic legs? (lol though) and cement enemas.. wow. I cringe thinking about it getting chiseled out.
1) don't know. Sly Stallone ? Daniel Craig ? RPatz?
(Is that where "cokehead" came from ????
2) don't know. Brody Jenner certainly fits the criteria though. I don't think mixed menages are scandalous anymore, so don't really care.
3) don't know. don't watch primetime TV.
Peachpie: My brother works at a major metro hospital - he comes home with stories like this ALL the time. Only, as you say below, often worse, making a coke bottle seem perfectly tame by comparison. The bigger and more wiggly, the more they want to stick it up there. I don't get it. Some things I could go my whole life without knowing.
"Years ago I had a friend who worked as an Xray tech at an ER in Austin, Tx. Lemme tell you, the shit she said she saw (and described in much too vivid detail)....well, let's just say that picture ain't nothing."
Oh great. Now every time I see Bruce Willis, I'm going to think of Coca Cola and hear Butters singing "What What in my Butt" (which now I'm convinced was inspired by Eddie Murphy's song).
* I said What What In The Butt
* You want to do it in my butt, in my butt
* Let's do it in the butt, okay
* I feel you watching me over there
* Come to me if you care
* Don't sit and stare
* It's just not fair
* Make your move if you dare (what, what)
* Repeat Chorus
* It's okay if you have a little fight
* Don't you worry, I won't bite
* Not that hard if you want it, I'll give you power
* Just be gentle, I'm delicate like a flower
* Repeat Chorus
* I will give you what you need
* All I want is your big, fat seed
* Give it to me if you please
* Give it to me if you please
1. Bruce Willis
2. ?
3. The none married girl from How I Met Your Mother
1. Bruce Willis
2. Bromance Jenner
3. Julia Louis-Dreyfuss
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
There's a whole Medical Book devoted to this topic. Vanity Fair once printed excerpts from it.
It seems patients have showed up to the ER with just about everything shoved up their azz....Light Bulbs, flashlights, end table legs, broomsticks, baseball bats, prosthetic legs, lamps, vacuum hoses, and my favorite story....a gay couple with the brilliant idea of using a cemet enema that had to be Chiseled out in rectal surgery.
1. WEsley Snipes.....have heard weird shit about him a couple of times before.
3. someone on Private Practice.
Never buy a used vacuum cleaner.
ok. I think I should go to bed now. gnight!
Chorus:
In your butt
Put the beetoot in your butt
Put, put the beetroot in your butt
In your butt
Put the beetroot in your butt
Put, put the beetroot in your butt
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Wed, 01/06/2010 - 1:48am.
Somehow this topic was accidentally skipped at our sex educational lessons in high school.
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O not ours - the classes in the yard that is. That's the old timey morning after pill right there.
♥ Threadkilla!
Did you have a nice time last night, WHORE?
Submitted by JoJo on Tue, 01/05/2010 - 8:12pm.
Hey Sandbitch....I think I work at the hospital near you. How likely is that? Butternut squash must be a very 'fun' vegetable. The butternut squash case sounds mighty familiar!
I call foul on the x-ray...Photoshop all the way. Glass doesn't show up on x-ray. I've seen enough x-rays of glass FBs, and they never show up. And that total hip is the type they put in patients that aren't ambulatory...look at the other hip...it's an arthritic busted mess too.
---Maybe the coke bottle was full of barium...?
Did I mention the woman who came in to emergency with a whole raw beetroot up the hoohar? It was stuck in there due to vacuum effect... Struggling to remove it, the Dr got a corkscrew from the kitchen - and VOILA!
lol at "Boogie in Your Butt"
LoL, SnB! I was having "a moment". I just thought of this, tho... 'memba that old song by Eddie Murphy. I think the funniest part is: PUT A TELEPHONE IN YOUR BUTT!!!
Chorus:
In your butt
Put the boogie in your butt
Put, put the boogie in your butt
In your butt
Put the boogie in your butt
Put, put the boogie in your butt
I ain't puttin no boogie in nobody's butt
That's nasty, man
What you talkin about
Puttin boogie in people's butt
Are you out yo mind or something?
Could go to jail for doin something like that
Well step aside my friend I been doing it for years
I say, sit on down, open your eyes and open up your ears
Say, put a tree in your butt
Put a, a bumblebee in your butt
Put a clock in your butt
Put a big rock in your butt
Say, put some fleas in your butt
Say, start to sneeze in your butt
Say, put a tin can in your butt
Put a little tiny man in your butt
Say, put a light in your butt
Say, make it bright in your butt
Say, put a TV in your butt
Say, put me in your butt
Everybody say
(Chorus)
I, hey, that's, man, I ain't puttin' no trees in nobody's butt, no bees in nobody's butt, puttin' nuttin'--
You must be out your mind, man, y'all get paid for doing this?
'Cause it, y'all gotta get some kind of money 'cause this don't sound like the kind of--
I'd rather golf, to be perfectly honest, than put somethin' in somebody's butt to be truthful
Step aside my friend and let me show you how you do it
When big bad E just rock rock to it
Put a case in your butt
Say, put a metal case in your butt
Say, put her face in your butt
Say, put a frown in your butt
Say, put a clown in your butt
Say, sit on down in your butt
Say, put a boat in your butt
Say, put a moat in your butt
Put a mink coat in your butt
Put everything in your butt
Just start to sing about your butt
Feels real good
When you sing about your butt, sing
In your butt
Put the boogie in your butt
Put, put the boogie in your butt
Now wait a second now, do y'all get paid for this, for doing this?
Puttin' the butt and all that stuff? Really?
What's this? A 100 dollar bill?
I get to keep this 100 dollars if I be puttin stuff in people's butts? Really? Step aside.>
Put a telephone in your butt
Say, put some dust in your butt
Say "it's a must" in your butt
Say, pizza crust in your butt
Say, put a telephone in your butt
Put a dinosaur bone in your butt
Put a radiator in your butt
I'll say "see ya later" in your butt
Put an alligator in your butt
Say, put some money in your butt
Sure feels real funny in your butt
Say, squeeze it, please it, but don't tease it
Put it in your butt
Well, let me just say
Put a hot cup of Brim
Fill it to the rim
And put it in your butt
To the beat
Two sugars, stuff so sweet
In your butt
Put the boogie in your butt
Put, put the boogie in your butt
[sax solo]
In your butt
Put the boogie in your butt
Put, put the boogie in your butt
Put a quarter, put a penny,
put a dime, put a nickel
Sure do tickle
Just put it in your butt
Put some change in your butt/
Feels mighty strange in your butt
http://www.justsomelyrics.com/803576/Eddie-Murphy-Boogie-In-Your-Butt-Ly...
Somehow this topic was accidentally skipped at our sex educational lessons in high school. Thanks for taking me out of the dark all these years later.
LMAO @ DD!
Submitted by Erika_Leigh28 on Tue, 01/05/2010 - 11:49pm.
well maybe he wants to kill 2 birds with 1 stone and give himself an enema while getting off. I mean that shit will clean ur car engine I don't even want to think what it would do to ur ass so I can't imagine why he wouldn't use a bottle of selzter water... Perrier? would be a good choice as he's rich and famous and it's way classier to shove up ur ass than coca cola shit leave that for poor ppl
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I'm gonna have an anuerysm (sp - it stays).
WHAT ABOUT THE FG MESS IN THE BEDROOM AFTERWARD??
I'M NOT BUYING IT. ITS TOO STUPID. THERE WOULD BE A COKE-COLONIC SPEW ALL OVER THE ROOM. But I guess if you go to a third world country and pay in cash American dollars, you can pretty much doing fucking ANYTHING.
I mean, does this MAN do this REGULARLY??! Might as well build a rubber room for the clean-up.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!
▪Oh my. Tsk-Tsk.
It looks like someone forgot their 'safety-word'.
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Remember the golden rule: Gently bently!
Submitted by z80 on Tue, 01/05/2010 - 11:35pm.
Because it tingles when it foams up. Some shaving cream cans have an extension so that you can really get a good one. It's way less dangerous than some urethra fetishes.
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FFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Urethra fetishes? The only thing *slightly* sicker is/are the people who have a fetish for cutting off their own limbs and refusing to have them reattached. These people have a network and COMPETE to show how far they can go. One guy intentionally cut his own hand off and put it in the freezer (presumably to show his self-mutilation fetish friends later). He went to the ER and they wanted to know where the hand was so they could reattach it. He told them it was a lawn mower accident. The police went to the house to see if they could find the hand. NO EVIDENCE OF ANY YARD WORK HAVING BEEN DONE. They searched the house and that's when they found the hand in the freezer.
You know, z80, there are ENTIRE FORUMS FOR FETISHISTS. FIND ONE. Check it here, tho.
I'm damn righteously pissed.
Submitted by z80 on Tue, 01/05/2010 - 11:47pm.
Is this more fun than squirting shaving cream in your peen hole?
Has anybody here tried this coke bottle thing?
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NO. AND FUCK NO.
WHAT THE HELL?! YOU THINK EVERYONE IS A GD PERVERT?!
Hahaha. This reminds me of 1man1jar, remember that? Ouch.
I post BIs on my FB and people just love 'em. lol
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"Now listen - I gave you that birthday, darling. Huh. I mean, you wouldn't have that birthday if I hadn't been generous enough to uncross my legs and give you to the world." -Edina Monsoon
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
1. Shia LeBeouf or that fricken idiot Seth Rogan. That ridiculously elaborate sex act clearly comes from someone with a hysterical comedic mind who delights in really stupid things.
2. Brody Jenner probably got sucked off by a guy. So what?
3. I would say Aubrey Plaza in Parks and Recreation, that disaffected girl seems like she'd be a total hipster cokehead.
"Have a Coke and a Smile!"
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
he could also try pop rocks shove some of those up his ass then the cola and call it a party
OUCH! Whoever's x-ray that is not only has a refreshingly fizzy bung, but also one hell of a hip replacement on the left side. I wonder if they dislocated it too many times trying this stunt with a 3 liter bottle?
well maybe he wants to kill 2 birds with 1 stone and give himself an enema while getting off. I mean that shit will clean ur car engine I don't even want to think what it would do to ur ass so I can't imagine why he wouldn't use a bottle of selzter water... Perrier? would be a good choice as he's rich and famous and it's way classier to shove up ur ass than coca cola shit leave that for poor ppl
hmmm...that's interesting...i never thought about the coca cola fizzle and my asshole having a party. i wonder if i have any coca cola in my fridge. if i don't maybe dr. pepper can come over and do an inspection.
Because it tingles when it foams up. Some shaving cream cans have an extension so that you can really get a good one. It's way less dangerous than some urethra fetishes.
The Coke bottle explosion is the same way I would guess. I still think that it would burn too much though.
First thing I noticed, aside from the coke bottle, was the hip... and the fact that this looks like a vaginal insertion.
Why the hell would anyone put shaving cream in their peen? Just curious
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
that picture!!! mentos and diet coke: you're doing it wrong!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece, The Fortune Teller 11/25/09
Is this more fun than squirting shaving cream in your peen hole?
Has anybody here tried this coke bottle thing?
It sounds like it would burn.
I get the Bruce Willis reference, but I practically had a Tourette's tic to scream "That's Nicolas Cage!" when I read it.
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 01/05/2010 - 10:14pm.
Submitted by anon on Tue, 01/05/2010 - 9:50pm.
Oh, and i have read the million comments, but is no one else disturbed by the hip replacement thing-a-magigy in this pic...
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What disturbs me about it is considering how old this person might have been when they had this little...um..."accident".
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Um, I was 72. :O)
If you look at the x-ray, whomever it is - had a hip replacement on the right hip - so he's either older or had a hip problem...just a thought.
OH GOD.
Submitted by Supreme Soviet on Tue, 01/05/2010 - 10:56pm...LMAO!
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
Rectum? Damn near killed 'em.
*rimshot*
I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception- Groucho Marx