Wednesday, January 6th 2010
The One Where Bear Grylls Gives Himself An Enema On A Tiny Raft
If Tommy Girl starred in a re-worked version of Castaway, it would look something like this clip from tonight's Man vs. Wild.
Bear Grylls demonstrates what you should do if you ever find yourself dehydrating to death on a tiny raft in the middle of the ocean. You know, I'm all for gargling fetid (Google is our fweeeend) water with my ass to keep from dying a slow death, but where is this tube supposed to come from? Bear didn't say anything about catching a whale with my bare hands and then ripping out its veins with my teeth to use as a tube. Note to self: Always have a tube in your ass.
And I'd like to think that the cameraman slowly sipped on an iced coffee while filming Bear rinsing out his colon.
via WOW Report
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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! hot
And MK, exactly....he's on a tiny effing raft, but conveniently has this tube.
Elmo...I think that was your name - yes! He has crazy named children. AND he made sure his wife had all the babies at their HOUSE! Bear probably cut the umbilical cord with his teeth and then made soup from the placenta.
WTF??? He is screaming as if a monster dick just ripped his butthole. What a faker. Enemas don't hurt...hahahahahaha
Perhaps he was giving an exaggerated reaction so we'd all think "WOW! Bear has a virgin asshole!"
I saw NO nudity, partial or otherwise. I feel cheated.
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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull
@TheStraightMan, yeah me too..I stopped the video at 0.35 the moment I realised what was going on
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Proud love child of Oprah Winfrey & Bill Gates
Submitted by SF_Mike on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 12:33pm.
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Hahaha SF_Mike. Everyone's gay in Mrs. Campbell's world.
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Bottom-feeder.
Gorge your eyes on Gorgeous Georgina : http://sites.google.com/site/gorgeousgeorginashow/home
@ Mrs Patrick Campbell - he's homosexual because he sticks a hose up his ass? I guess any guy that has had a colonoscopy in the history of the world is now gay too.
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Strong enough for a woman, but made for a man.
Bear appears to be a homosexual!
Discuss.
the video leaves so many topics unanswered,like are we suppose to try and hold the fetid water in, for how long, expel it later or not?
pretending that it hurts is so macho-fake we all know how pleasantly nice it feels to have your insides rinsed.
and I would figure the bacteria and parasites in that water or in the elephant dung juice would kill him just as fast as dehydration if he were truly putting al these things in his system. It's been reported before that his stuff is all fake...unlike Survivor Man who goes alone and films himself without the comforts of any crew.
8====================> (_*_)
"I Loooove my vagina....because my vagina makes moneyyyy!" - Molly Shannon as the late Anna Nicole Smith
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 11:16am.
An enema isn't all that bad.
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As long as it's champagne, I could be persuaded.
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Bottom-feeder.
Gorge your eyes on Gorgeous Georgina : http://sites.google.com/site/gorgeousgeorginashow/home
An enema isn't all that bad.
*hides*
Submitted by poodle on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 11:05am.
Oh please like he had to "pretend" the tube hurt going in!!!??? I don't think he has the name "Bear" for just any reason!
8====================> (_*_)
My thoughts exactly!
"I Loooove my vagina....because my vagina makes moneyyyy!" - Molly Shannon as the late Anna Nicole Smith
Oh please like he had to "pretend" the tube hurt going in!!!???
I don't think he has the name "Bear" for just any reason!
And are ratings this bad that we need to be subjected to a blurred out filming of his ass?? I wanna be that camera man!
"I cannot take a man named BEAR seriously."
No worries then, that's not his real name. His name is Edward. And he did give his kids dumb ass names, Huckleberry and Marmaduke. He calls them Huck and Duke. I think when the last one was born it was mentioned here, which is how I found out about their absurd names.
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Personally, I think Steven is just one of those natural crackheads. You know, those hos who act strung out, but aren't. They are primarily known as "Born-Again Christians."
i just wonder about the cameraman, he must get paid a lot to go thru all that w/ bear. i noticed at the beginning of every show, they put a disclaimer up saying certain situtaions are presented to bear so he can demonstrate things. last night on another episode he was in my home state of alabama and he rolled around in mud and ran through fire because the mud protects your skin but there were all these big open spaces w/ no flames. i picture him going out like the crocodile hunter.
Read the book "Survive the Savage Sea" for more details about the enemas (if you dare!)...I always thought the Robinson family was crazy, first of all, what teenager will willingly go on a vacation with their family where there is no TV? Second, who is going to let their mother stick a tube up their butt? I would personally rather drop dead from dehydration. P.S. I MIGHT let this cute guy do it though, hehehe
Would still fuck.
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Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:59pm.
suckandfuck you are by far the most vile person here
Disgusting
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
Bear, oh, Bear, I'm thinking of England!
I heart him.
I pray for the poor soul lost in open water w/o a length of tubing.
I told my 14 yr old this was gonna be on, he is a Bear watcher due to the gross-out factor.
I could hear him chortling in the next room and screaming for me to turn on my TV so I did.
I got it at the part that was blurred out just in time to hear Bear say something like "Lay back and think of England".
I love how English people spell "fetid": foetid.
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Never step into the path of a single woman and the last kielbasa sausage, it is very dangerous. That is dinner and a date all in one! - urmomma
bear has lost his damn mind.
Bear Grylls is like some kind of survivalist porn star. It's usually insect juices and guts dribbling out of his mouth and now it's things going up his bum. You won't see Ray Mears doing this kind of thing!
@impertinent vixen,
somehow you had me laughing uncontrollably. THe elephant shit water was too much too I mean couldn't you follow the elephant to the watering hole. This show is becoming like jackass , with less douchiness.
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"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."
this is such bullshit he just wanted to stick a pipe up his bum and have us all watch he should just admit it he loves to stick things up his bum
It'd be cooler if he did it in SF Bay's Lake Merced.
I love this show, it's like watching a freaking cartoon. Everything that he needs is always too conveniently within reach but the editing manages to make it believable. He could never stick a hose up his ass without prior consent of the insurance company.
Plus, Bear is such the drama queen, why wouldn't he fit in the Dlisted crowd? He gives Criss Angel and Blaine a run for their money with their overacting.
I'm sure the only reason why they blurred the scene was because he got a hard-on.
The tube is probably a Laffy Taffy wrapper.
Sour apple, more than likely.
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
LMAO! I should have known this shit would be on DListed, I watched this on TV.
what the fucking hell?
and totally giggling at the adrien brody tag...
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what you gonna do? tell mom and dad I put your dick sucking list on facebook?” – "i love facebook like you love cock..."
I would totally think Bear Grylls was hot if he didn't do/eat weird stuff.
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Douchechill!
Submitted by Alix on Wed, 01/06/2010 - 9:41pm.'
"Uncomfortable?!?"
Do you know how excruciating it is to have something shoved up your ass like that?!?...
...
...
...uh, well me neither
*diverting eyes*
Ive seen him eat a lot nasty shit but the day I see him mess with his own shit is the day I stop loving him.
I'm not clicking play.
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http://www.freddyfruitcake.co.uk/euphemisms.html
http://www.williamsfriedchicken.com/
am i the only one who enjoyed this video? i wish it wasn't blurred out.
On land, I bet he enjoys a Coke enema.
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Bottom-feeder.
Gorge your eyes on Gorgeous Georgina : http://sites.google.com/site/gorgeousgeorginashow/home
Submitted by Alix on Wed, 01/06/2010 - 9:41pm.
Okay, I can see this as being uncomfortable, but why did he act as though it was so freakin' excruciating? You'd think he was catheterizing himself.
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I'm thinking it's the combination of the tube up the ass with no lube and the added fun of saltwater which might make this survival trick a wee bit uncomfortable.
Although if one doesn't survive, can you imagine the coroner's face when they turn you over and wonder what the hell you were doing to your ass on a raft.
"I guess all you can do is lie back...and think of England!" LMFAO
anonymouscrazycatlover/Madam Pince!!
Oh hell yes! Team Mike Rowe!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqzQxMtmjn8
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Finish up them taters, I’m gonna go fondle my sweaters.
Banana Jesus up yer butt is more fun.
Submitted by Madam Pince on Wed, 01/06/2010 - 7:31pm.
I'll stick to Mike Rowe.
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Agreed.
I'd like to do a lot of things with Mike Rowe, mostly because I'm a dirty girl.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
-Ash
Okay, I can see this as being uncomfortable, but why did he act as though it was so freakin' excruciating? You'd think he was catheterizing himself.
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"I'm just going to stop at the 24-hour donut shop and then go home."
"What are you depressed about? Or celebrating?"
Ok, tiger cub is being a total buzz kill...*pulling butt tube out*....
Nite, Nite, WHORES....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I bet the camera man was praying for a great white to rise out of the water and eat Bear ass tube and all.
"Jesus and God really need to file a joint lawsuit against bitches for dragging their good names into unadulterated fuckery!" MK 2/15/09
Submitted by Manimal5 on Wed, 01/06/2010 - 9:27pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Wed, 01/06/2010 - 9:07pm.
You don't need to be floating out in the middle of nowhere to be saved by an asstube....*awkward silence*....Um, I think I'm gonna go raftin' or sumpin'....
*blank stare*
*gets another raft and follows Tigerlilly*
*or sumpin* LOL!!!
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ASSTUBERS FOREVAH!....
And yeah, whores I been a drankin'...so what? Drankin' don't take the fun outta ASSTUBIN'...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Thanks, Boomsy! I thought he was the one accused of fake fuckery on his show.
"Jesus and God really need to file a joint lawsuit against bitches for dragging their good names into unadulterated fuckery!" MK 2/15/09
Submitted by ne-yo is a powe... on Wed, 01/06/2010 - 9:18pm.
Take THAT, Tyra!!!
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Tyra's response: When IIIIIIIII went undercover as a homeless person for two hours (read: 10 minutes), I DID touch the fetid change that people dropped into my styofoam cup...so I can totally relate to having to give yourself a fetid enema out on a raft to save yourself from dying...I mean, I was TOTALLY thirsting for a Mountain Dew, but all the staff had on hand was Sprite!!! Yeah, I feel you....We kindred spirits up in here, but I gotta break for a commercial...Up next...how to end those dreaded dry cuticles forever and a little special Zac Effron cuteness later...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
@Auntie Mame: Yea, that was him; I think that's why they have him doing all this craziness now, like it's supposed to be prove he's hard core or something. I think it's just a desperate attempt to get some ratings back. They just need to bring back 'Survivorman' and be done with 'Man vs Wild'...
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Wed, 01/06/2010 - 9:07pm.
You don't need to be floating out in the middle of nowhere to be saved by an asstube....*awkward silence*....Um, I think I'm gonna go raftin' or sumpin'....
*blank stare*
*gets another raft and follows Tigerlilly*
*or sumpin* LOL!!!
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.