America's Got Talent Is Now Hoff-Less
In news that will hit you in the gut with a powerful fist of "we all saw this coming," The Hoff has been fired from America's Got Talent because the producers were sick of him stealing Purell from everyone's dressing room to use as a mixer. Wait. Did I say "fired"? Well, give me a Lohan kick to the pussy, because I really meant to say that The Hoff left on his own accord. Yes, we're going with that one. Let's hear it from The Hoff:
“I am proud that I was part of making America’s Got Talent the No. 1 rated show for the past four summers. It’s been a rewarding experience and now I’m thrilled to be able to follow my dream to do my own TV show, which will be announced very shortly. I want to thank my friend, (executive producer) Simon Cowell, and everyone at NBC and Fremantle for the opportunity for four great years.”
Since The Hoff still believes he's only hooked on a feeling, and not hooked on the bottle, I doubt his next TV project will involve Dr. Drew or Ken Seeley. Maybe he's going to host America's Next Top Cheeseburger for the Food Network?
In other news, Paula Abdul was spotted on her hands and knees in front of Simon Cowell's front gates. I wonder what that's about. <---- Not a question.
• 
Don't care. I bet Simon will take over the 3rd seat. MMM more Somon please, that man is dreamy.
i do not like poking fun at Lindsay Lohan......I do not like poking fun at Amy Winehouse......I do not like poking fun at The Hoff....
all for one reason....at any minute their lifestyles could lead to them ODing....I would feel too guilty if I bashed them at the low points
Hassle in the Castle with the Hoff.
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Tracy: I'm gonna make you a mix tape. You like Phil Collins?
Jack: I've got two ears and a heart, don't I?
http://cutebandalert.tumblr.com
Translation; Canned for being a falling down drunk.
Honey, I'll GIVE my fallopian tubes for a new and wonderful flat for you!! I never wanted them anyway...
MizRo!!
After a heaux speed bump of almost datıng the axıs of evıl, I have been ın bed all last nıght and untıl thıs afternoon wıth Turkısh Delıght.
I never have days thıs damn lazy so I have been runnıng around lookıng for an apartment to rent here on the sea all late lafternoon untıl now
I thınk I saw one!
Cross your fallopıan tubes!!!
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Triston: good afternoon love! Missed you yesterday.
*grabs rum and chugs straight from bottle*
Wait, so he sings? *running with bottle o' rum*
I love how ragıng alcoholıcs seem to be able to fınd work at the drop of a Jack bottle but clean and sober heauxz can't fınd shıt.
And why replace a drunk wıth a pıll popper?!
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Thanx Snowy. My ears needed to bleed a little.
Dr. Snapper Foster.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u06h8gj9FVs&feature=related
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But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well. You see, ya can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself ...
SUCKY! DO NOT J.O. to the HOFF! It's sacrilege!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 10:06am.
Sug:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ot_katYYiU
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So fucking beautiful.
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Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:59pm.
suckandfuck you are by far the most vile person here
Snowy - do not EVER do that to me again before I've had coffee, do you understand me? Ever. I do not need to hear the mating call of the Wild Assmullet. Thank you.
*swipes back mug from Miz and adds gallon of rum*
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Never step into the path of a single woman and the last kielbasa sausage, it is very dangerous. That is dinner and a date all in one! - urmomma
*replacing Roo's "borrowed" cup with a steaming cup of cocoa with a cinnamon stick and a touch of vanilla extract*
Ego is an odd thing: he's been fawned over for years for playing side-kick to a CAR (for heaven's sake) and women throwing themselves at him. BUT, he drinks because of his insecurities.
I know twisted, but true.
Sug:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ot_katYYiU
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
Submitted by Sugaroo on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 10:00am.
How can you have such a huge ego when you have no talent?
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How easily we forget J.Ho.
Then again, that is a good thing. A very good thing.
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Bottom-feeder.
Gorge your eyes on Gorgeous Georgina : http://sites.google.com/site/gorgeousgeorginashow/home
"cheeseburger paradise" - jimmy buffett
@ Roo, don't understand this man's ego. How can you have such a huge ego when you have no talent?
You should meet my boss
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
*swiping Miz's coffee and adding cocoa powder*
I don't understand this man's ego. How can you have such a huge ego when you have no talent?
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Never step into the path of a single woman and the last kielbasa sausage, it is very dangerous. That is dinner and a date all in one! - urmomma
Submitted by suckandfuck on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 9:09am.
REMEMBER: American Idol airs during the Winter/Spring.
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Already in the DVR!
He's gonna do the sequel to the new SpongeBob movie, duh
Thanks Snowy, I wanted something for New Year's.
Everything sounds better with "former high-class call girl" before it. - Michael K
cool avie Miss C
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
The Hoff needs the show more than the show needs The Hoff. Anybody remember Brandy?
Everything sounds better with "former high-class call girl" before it. - Michael K
TEAM HATE KEN SEELY
Actually, once the intervention starts that's when I lose interest, until the results are given at the end. I prefer to watch them wallowing in their addiction than the whole crying family "your addiction has affected me in the following ways"...shit
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
He can start his own show: "The Hoff Needs a New Liver".
"Jesus and God really need to file a joint lawsuit against bitches for dragging their good names into unadulterated fuckery!" MK 2/15/09
Nanners! Happy new year! Where've you been?
Good to see you, love!
Oh, and I still loathe this talentless alcoholic.
Mopa, The Blue Swede version was fun, but I much prefer the original B.J. Thomas hit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNnnWfUpYGg
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But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well. You see, ya can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself ...
"Submitted by Nanners on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 9:22am.
The Hoff needs Jeff Van Vonderen to tell him the world "loves you like crazy"."
LOL!! I love Jeff. Keep the Hoff away from him.
Everytime I see that Jeff is the interventionalist on Intervention, I get so excited. He fell of the wagon for awhile and was gone from the show a season or two ago. I was so happy when he came back. He's my favorite, but I don't mind Candy either. I HATE Ken Seeley.
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 9:17am.
Sucky YOU ARE ON THE HOT TAMALE TRAIN!
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FUKKEN LOLLLLLLLLOL. I don't like her chipmunk face.
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Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:59pm.
suckandfuck you are by far the most vile person here
Top of the morning to all! *muah*
I really can't stand this douche. When he was Knight Rider, he was cool, but he is such a selfish, narcissistic betch! His daughters suffer because of him and frankly, he's an asshole.
People die left and right and those that continuously desecrate their bodies and negatively impact others' lives NEVER seem to go.
*sipping caramel cream coffee w/ skim milk no sugar*
LOL Nanners!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
I read a while ago that this no-talent loserish mess is worth over $100 million. How? HOW?
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Never step into the path of a single woman and the last kielbasa sausage, it is very dangerous. That is dinner and a date all in one! - urmomma
Well I guess there's always summer stock theatre at the Smokey Mountains for him to work at.
The Hoff needs Jeff Van Vonderen to tell him the world "loves you like crazy".
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MK, I love you like a fat kid loves cake - MissJaneTexas
What? He covered one of my favorite songs from when I was a kid? Hooked on a Feeling by Blue Swede was great! 1974...now that was a great time with great music.
Hoff and Paula Abdul should do a show together. You could get hammered just watching those two.
SUCKY! WHY THEY GOTTA HASSLE THE HOFFFFF!?!?!?!
Nooooo don't even say that about Mary Murphy!
Sucky YOU ARE ON THE HOT TAMALE TRAIN!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
Grieve not for the Hoff. America's loss is Germany's gain with Deutschland Hat Talent.
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Bottom-feeder.
Gorge your eyes on Gorgeous Georgina : http://sites.google.com/site/gorgeousgeorginashow/home
And?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Never step into the path of a single woman and the last kielbasa sausage, it is very dangerous. That is dinner and a date all in one! - urmomma
Sorry to see him go but best of luck in whatever he does next.
http://www.jamaica-fact-fest.com
This show is not worthy of The Hoff or anyone with his caliber of talent!
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But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well. You see, ya can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself ...
REMEMBER: American Idol airs during the Winter/Spring.
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Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:59pm.
suckandfuck you are by far the most vile person here
Number 1 rated show? I don't think so. He also thinks he is a brilliant singer and not a drunk.
Thanks, Eileenie--- wish I could take credit for it but I lifted it from somewhere. :)
Islandgirl, LOVE your avie!
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
Poor Hoff. I'm sure he could get a job on a German TV show.
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"I'm not an asshole. I'm just drawn that way." --BK
America's Got Talent was the highest rated show for the past FOUR summers?
You've gotta be kidding me...
Uh oh. Hope he doesn't go on a bender... I mean accidentally mix his medications.
I bet Germany's mad
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http://www.crazydaysandnights.net/2010/01/reader-photos.html
Ben Folds.
WHY CAN'T THEY LET THE HOFF BE GREAT?
No more Paula and no more Hoff, what the fuck reality TV. Next they'll probably toss that spacey loud pill head from that Dancey show.
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Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:59pm.
suckandfuck you are by far the most vile person here