Artie Lange Attempted Suicide

That is fucked up - I was never a huge fan of his, maybe because I began listening to the HS show when he was an obvious mess.. not funny, just there gorging on donuts, falling asleep and slurring his words. But how in the hell does someone come back from that? Trying to stab yourself to death?? Is there really treatment for this level of self-loathing? Damn.

yeah right....Howard Stern is so sensitive & having 'difficulty talking about it'. Howard Stern is the same person that joked about Eric Clapton's 5 yr old son plunging 68 floors to his death.
Stern is a pig and so is his sidekick.

It must have been an omen that suddenly yesterday I couldn't post here. MK suggested I 'delete my cookies', which I had no idea how to do, but finally figured it out. Btw, deleting my cookies wasn't as exciting as it sounds. lol!

As many of you know, my sister committed suicide a year ago. I guess, as much as I can, I have a unique prospective on suicide. I have spent the last year thinking and thinking and obsessing over my sisters situation. My sister committed suicide in a slow,very painful way. In thinking about it and talking to a therapist, I guess I came to the realization that she must have felt she deserved to suffer in the end. I can just now talk about it without literally going to bed for days. I will never call her selfish. Her life and her pain is something only she had to live with and only she could decide if she couldn't take it anymore. When someone is in so much pain, that overwhelms them. They don't want other people to suffer. I can't imagine being in so much pain that you do something so drastic. I've been close at times in my life, but never that close.

I was a huge Howard fan for a long time, my husband still is and listens to him every morning. I think he isn't as good as he used to be, but who is. My husband went to a comedy show of Artie's last year. I like Artie and always knew he was in pain. Drug addiction is a horrible disease. That, on top of depression and a painful past, is a dangerous combination. I also know that when a father dies in an Italian family and there is a son, alot of pressure is put on that son to suddenly be the man of the family and take care of everyone. That happened to my first husband and it ruined his life. As far as Howard saying he will wait for Artie to call him, I understand. Some people cannot handle being around or don't know how to handle sick people. My sister was like that when we had my mother home to die with cancer. She just couldn't handle it and found any way to be away from home and not participate in her care or even see her often. I don't blame her, she just isn't a person who could handle it. Everyone is different.

I wish Artie well. I hope he surrounds himself with loving, supportive people and, if he feels he can't be in the same situation to stay well, then he should not return to the show or not do comedy gigs. I know it is hard to give up on your profession, but life is more important.

I haven't listened to Howard Stern since he went on satellite radio and I don't know who this guy is but suicide is never the answer.

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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

I don't follow him much but he was on Joe Buck live and tore him a new a-hole. I thought, wow he is a bit much. Like if I was Joe Buck, I would have wanted to punch him in the face.

That being said, Joe Buck is a meg-douche so I can see why he did it.

Regardless, it seems to be a miserable situation and I hope he gets some serious help! He really needs to lay off the drugs and secondly focus on his weight or that will get him next (which is prob. linked to whole self destructive thing he has going on)

People, please stop dying or trying to die!

I'm glad RedWeatherTigerD is also sympathetic. Fine, so the show isn't that great any more. But Jesus Christ, lay off Howard. You know all this whining and bitching is going to give him ammo to berate the hell out of you guys.

What's with all the hate? Are the SFN members crowding this place. I know Howard Stern's show hasn't been on a roll as of late (you don't have to judge the recent "History of Howard Stern" to know that), but you guys are coming down hard on him. I agree with Howard, everyone sometimes seem to forget the good stuff Artie has done. Anyone remember the Artie Lange roast back in 2006? I know I haven't.

Artie is a spineless cunty boy. Next.

I feel sorry for his mom and sister. His stunts have been putting them through hell for the last decade or so. I hope he gets the help he needs which means that he has to get off of the show for good. No more Beer League, talking whiskey, jacks and cokes. Just get the help you need and get rid of the guilt.

It's ironic that even when absent, the Stern Show has, with this announcement, become *all* about Artie yet again?

I LOVE ARTIE AND HOPE HE GETS WELL SOON!!!

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It really was love at first hate. ~ MK

I don't see why any of us should feel sympathetic. He's no better than Lohan. Should I like him better than her because he cracks a joke? Yes, sucks his dad fell down off a ladder because well, he was so self-centered he couldn't be bothered to help his dad. But everything else after in his life is an excuse to get fucked up on heroin and coke and whatever else he wants to do. For all we know, he might've been engaging in these activities before he ditched his dad on the job.

This guy has been given a multitude of chances and continues to fuck up. The only reason I can come up with is that for some reason people fall for the hard luck story and he is funny (although that's debatable).

Then he stabs himself before his mother is about to come over to bring him food. Am I supposed to feel sympathetic over that?

Hang in there Vanitas. I have been there too, too many times. What I've come to realize is that the dark periods are interspersed with light. What seemed hopeless at one time is a non issue months or years later. I am guessing you are fine now, but I hope you have found, too, that these feelings are temporary. The Dlisted crew is here for you! Thank god for MK and his humor. This and cuteoverload.com keeps me sane.

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Submitted by Vanitas on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 2:22pm.

I've contemplated suicide many times. The only thing that has stopped me every time is not wanting to hurt my family. That's the only reason why I never went through with it.

I agree with others who say suicide is selfish.

Blahblah whatever your name is, I WAS listening carefully. Howard clearly has no idea how to handle the situation in the best way. Howard has said every day on the air how much they all miss Artie, how he hopes Artie is better, how much Artie has brought to the show. Howard has been very discreet about Artie's problems throughout. Maybe Howard feels like calling Artie would make Artie uncomfortable? Maybe Artie wouldn't want to have to face him right now, since he may fear he has let Howard down? If you've been paying attention, you know that Artie has a lot of respect for Howard and doesn't want to be a fuck up in front of him, and maybe Howard thinks Artie should be able to face him in his own time. Maybe YOU don't have all the right answers about how everyone else is to handle problems in their own lives.

Oh, and by the way, Howard still has a show to run, and he has been far more accommodating to Artie's absences and extreme problems and violent outbursts over the years than any boss I have ever known. His trying to make the best of a very bad situation does not make him a selfish person. Get over yourself, BITCH.

Um...is there a reason they don't just say "attempted suicide"? Why do they gotta be all cutesy about it?

♥ Threadkilla!
Did you have a nice time last night, WHORE?

Howard Stern today on the show "I'll wait for Artie to call me"

What a fucking scumbag. Goes to Natasha Richardson's funeral so his cunt wife can get on Page 6, yet can't reach out to Artie. Fuck him!

@Cheeky- i got IP banned from SFN (lasted like a month there) for making a beth joke. The people that run that site are pathetic. The only reason i lurk there is to see the funny photoshops and .gifs people make.

Join the Revoloution...*massive eyeroll*

Thank God for Dlisted & MK, one of the few avenues for free speech on the interwebs.

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"A man with crushed or cut-off testicles shall not enter into the assembly of the Lord"-Deuteronomy 23:1

Gawd Damn!!! I can think of at least 5 other ways to easily off yourself, the dude must really hate himself to be stabbing himself like that. That's pretty sad!! What a awful way to go. I don't know anything about the guy, as I don't listen to that prick H Stern. I hope this guy gets the help he needs.

You got banned for saying that Cheeky? Wow, that's really lame considering the shit that has been said over there since this has happened.

I've been wondering why TMZ hasn't reported anything either. Harvey and Howard must hang out in the Hamptons together or something.

ETA: Just went to go look at TMZ and they still haven't reported shit but a whole lot of peeps are asking what's up with that on their "ask us questions for our live feed" thing.

@super martian: thanks for being our researcher lol :P I knew I saw it somewhere. Just wish this post was on C-Love instead...

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"Kirsten suspected she might be knocked up when her monthly batch of menstrual berries weren't delivered to her vagina dock. " -- Michael K.

@super martian: thanks for being our researcher lol :P I knew I saw it somewhere. Just wish this post was on C-Love instead...

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"Kirsten suspected she might be knocked up when her monthly batch of menstrual berries weren't delivered to her vagina dock. " -- Michael K.

"Redweathertiger-I'm listening to Howard's replay right now, and he is clearly very upset about Artie and the fact that the story leaked out. He has spent at least 25 minutes talking about the difficulty of talking about the whole thing sensitively, and he is extremely concerned about not saying anything that could hurt Artie or his family. Whoever said Howard was shallow or uncaring must not be listening very closely."

Apparently you aren't listening very closely. If Howard gave half a fuck about Artie, he would have talked to him since this has happened. He clearly stated he hadn't spoken with him at all yet Robin and some of the other staff had spoke to him and the family since he's been in the hospital. Howard is too fucking busy saving the doves in Central Park and playing with his new kitty. It also isn't very caring of Howard to want to plop Jackie in Artie's chair in less than a week after Artie trying to off himself. That's one uncaring fuck if you ask me. Even Fred and Robin don't want Jackie in there. No one is making Howard look like a dick except Howard. He asked Mutt to take a poll on SFRT to see if the fans want Jackie to come and sit in. Yeah, he's really broken up about it all. Bitch please.

Submitted by Blahfrickinblah on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 1:13pm.
Cheeky- I felt the same exact way when I heard Howard say that this morning on the show. You're waiting for him to call YOU? WTF is wrong with that asshole? Howard has always been a self centered person but that statement was unfuckingbelievable even for him.

I'm over Stern at this point. I got banned from STFN this morning for saying this and I'll say it again: He lost his touch when he left KRock and his first wife. As for Artie, I heard the bleach story was true too. Whats with TMZ? Have they reported on it yet or is Harvey L, Stern's bitch?

My opinion on him is just meh, if he really wanted to do it he wouldve done it. Somebody stick a fork in him because I am done.

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http://www.freddyfruitcake.co.uk/euphemisms.html
http://www.crazydaysandnights.net/2010/01/reader-photos.html
Ben Folds.

Really? suicide? stupid stupid asshole, not even a reliable organ donor...

Meanwhile thousands of new cancer patients are grasping for more time on Earth, this boozehound coker takes life for granted.

... and don't give any of that "needs help not judgment", he already condemns himself by his own decisions while sober.

Man, that sucks!

I think he is a riot.

It's usually the funny ones like him and Chris Farley who are also the most miserable.

Hope ya recover soon dude! You are missed on The Stern Show.

Edit- Crazyinjapan- Stern has nothin to do with Artie's probs, in fact he has been a good friend to him over the years. Stern's humor ain't for everyone.

Submitted by Provolone on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 2:42pm.

That pretty much sums it up. I am sorry that others are so callous. Artie is a very smart and funny man, loved by a lot of us. GET WELL SOON ARTIE!!!

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It really was love at first hate. ~ MK

Submitted by StickaCockinWoo... on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 2:31pm.

When Artie was 17 or 18 he blew off working with his dad for the day. His father did some kind of work, I think cable installing where he needed to climb on peoples' roofs. Artie would help out, holding the ladder, doing stuff like that.

So one day his father had a ladder too small to reach the roof, so he tried to balance it on a picnic table...this did not work out well. He fell snapped his neck and was paralyzed from the neck down.

He lived 4 years as a parapalegic. Artie hinted that one of his uncles slipped him a pill to put him out of his misery. He constantly was asking family members to do this for him. Anyways, Artie always blamed himself for not being there to hold the ladder. This seems to be the source of his depression.

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"A man with crushed or cut-off testicles shall not enter into the assembly of the Lord"-Deuteronomy 23:1

eI am still trying to understand why he want's to kill himself? Is it because he's fat a drug addict? What is it? He got rid of his girlfriend a while back. His mother takes care of him like hand and foot and this is how he would repay her? What is it that he's upset about? He has too much time on his hand's and making way too much money to even think about doing all that nonsense and foolishness.

Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.

Submitted by MuffinAmy on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 2:12pm.
Who was the prognosticator who foresaw this on some thread here the other day? It was on a Casey Johnson thread and somebody said the "Celebrity Deaths happen in threes, who's next?" and suggested Artie Lang.

Weird.
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How weird, I just looked that up and found it in http://dlisted.com/node/35494?page=2

"Submitted by Capitanne on Tue, 01/05/2010 - 1:38pm.
I predict the first ever celebrity deaths in threes by OD. Brittany Murphy, Casey Johnson and...?

Artie Lange
Lindsay Lohan
Courtney Love"

....

Twilight theme song now in my head.

I actually did try to kill myself in grade 9 by swolling a bottle of tylenol (i was 14) and not really thinking of my parents at that time. I ended up in the hospital throwing up bile every 30 minutes until it finally wore off. My poor dad sat there with me the whole night. When they asked me if I was suicidal, I lied and said I had a bad headache. I couldn't imagine putting my parents through that today.

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Girl Scouts - Maybe next time you'll buy the fucking cookies.

I've contemplated suicide many times. The only thing that has stopped me every time is not wanting to hurt my family. That's the only reason why I never went through with it.

I agree with others who say suicide is selfish.

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Girl Scouts - Maybe next time you'll buy the fucking cookies.

muffin i saw that! i don't even know who this guy is, didn't recognize the name so i googled it thinking - from the wording of that comment - that he was ALREADY DEAD!

brr.

weird is right eh?

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Who was the prognosticator who foresaw this on some thread here the other day? It was on a Casey Johnson thread and somebody said the "Celebrity Deaths happen in threes, who's next?" and suggested Artie Lang.

Weird.

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"Kirsten suspected she might be knocked up when her monthly batch of menstrual berries weren't delivered to her vagina dock. " -- Michael K.

Well, I have to say stabbing yourself is one helluva brave way to go. The effort! (and yes i am thinking about his fat tum tum)

Maybe he'd be dead if he was thinner.

What??! Like I'm the ONLY one thinking that?@!?

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
A Dlisted Public Service Announcement: http://www.paris-kim.com/potholes/munch.htm
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Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 2:02pm.

i saw her on it, but i missed that part. i did see that she knew where the newark airport was though...when you're dlisted's hot slut of the year (soon to be anyways) you don't need to know such trivial things.

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"A man with crushed or cut-off testicles shall not enter into the assembly of the Lord"-Deuteronomy 23:1

Artie, say it ain't so! I love you. You are the "every" man! Please get well soon.

Submitted by Provolone on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 1:57pm.
Artie Lange NIN Hurt video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3lvsfaRn1U

Get well Artie!!!!
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OMG I couldnt watch it after the first few seconds. Poor guy.

This is Johnny Cash version of "Hurt" which is even sadder.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmVAWKfJ4Go

TEAM GEORGE LOPEZ - F*ck Erik Estrada.

I would stab myself repeatedly, too, if I worked with Howard Stern. He is a mean-spirited dick. I once heard him making fun of some porn actress who was suicidal. I hope this guy gets the help he needs. Stay away from Howard, Artie!

Provy!!! Snicks was on TMZ TV last night and she didn't know the capital of NJ or the governor, she told the pap, "I wasn't a politician major!" LOL

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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown

Submitted by squiggles on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 1:50pm.
Submitted by TellysWorld on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 12:59pm.

P.S. I just read the first comments and seriously dude, I don't even need to state the obvious. I just wish we were all still human...

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Yup...I feel like I need to stay out of these kinds of threads. It's disturbing to me how little is understood about the mindset of suicidal people and how some can't seem to muster an ounce of compassion for someone who clearly felt so incredibly desperate & miserable that he wanted to stab himself 9 times. I mean, if that doesn't tell you someone's clearly not in his right mindset, I honestly don't know what does.

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Well said. I am glad his suicide attempt didnt work and hopefully he will get the help he needs. We all know about another poor druggie (Casey Johnson) that didnt get that second chance.

TEAM GEORGE LOPEZ - F*ck Erik Estrada.

I loved Howard when I moved to the States but I really think Beth has been his downfall. He's a Hamptons Honey now and all about getting facials and sitting on his shrink's house four days a week talking about himself. His self-deprecating schtick has lost it's appeal because it's obvious he's a self-obsessed egomaniac who really does think he's better than most.
His core audience is the blue collar working man yet he lives in tremendous splendour and hangs out with all the rich folk. Kind of a shame. I really liked him when he had to battle Tom and still had bills to pay and a wife and 3 kids at home to feed.

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Dark-sided!

Artie Lange NIN Hurt video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3lvsfaRn1U

Get well Artie!!!!

He loved Danerrr!!! He just wanted to have Jersey Shore kids w/ Danerrr!!!

: (

ETA: Danerrr @ 3:10 if ur curious who that is

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"A man with crushed or cut-off testicles shall not enter into the assembly of the Lord"-Deuteronomy 23:1

Ok, honestly there are way too many fucked up genes polluting the gene pool.

He stabbed himself 9 times and was still able to be "rescued"? with what? with a fork? so he was able to patiently wait for the paramedics?. I fucking hate those attention-needy assholes who do shit like this just to get sympathy votes.

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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.

Submitted by letinstar - artie is a fat mess...always has been...

But a GODDAMN FUNNY and brutally honest fat mess, who makes me laugh every time I hear him! I hope he gets the help that he needs to conquer those demons and am truly rooting for him.

Submitted by TellysWorld on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 12:59pm.

P.S. I just read the first comments and seriously dude, I don't even need to state the obvious. I just wish we were all still human...

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Yup...I feel like I need to stay out of these kinds of threads. It's disturbing to me how little is understood about the mindset of suicidal people and how some can't seem to muster an ounce of compassion for someone who clearly felt so incredibly desperate & miserable that he wanted to stab himself 9 times. I mean, if that doesn't tell you someone's clearly not in his right mindset, I honestly don't know what does.

Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 1:41pm.

I was dicking around on that sternfannetwork when someone started an artie tried to kill himself thread. This was before TMZ posted their story. The mods (who r nazis there) erased it, but the person wrote that he stabbed himself in the stomach several times, had half-heartedly slashed his wrist and drank bleach.

As far as i can tell, whoever that was was correct on everything, so im guessing the drinking bleach thing is true also.

The Stern show sucks as it is, with all Hampton Howies talk about Beth Ono, the big to do this week is will they adopt a cat...*barfs* Without Artie this week the show has been dreadful. Im convinced Artie isn't coming back, fuck me for re-upping my sirius subscription!

!!!!NEVER DONATE A DIME TO NORTH SHORE ANIMAL LEAGUE, THEY ARE CROOKS!!!!!!!!!!

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"A man with crushed or cut-off testicles shall not enter into the assembly of the Lord"-Deuteronomy 23:1

artie is a fat mess...always has been...
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what you gonna do? tell mom and dad I put your dick sucking list on facebook?” – "i love facebook like you love cock..."

Did Artie really try to drink bleach? I tried that on my first attempt and ended up with nothing more than an insanely hurt mouth.

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Dark-sided!

Artie Lang is a brilliant comedian. Eric Lynch is a bitter midget. Is there something with the last name Lynch? I know more than one douche bag with that name.

ARTIE LANG ROCKS! And I hope he gets well soon.

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It really was love at first hate. ~ MK

IMO he stabbed himself in a haze of heroin.

Just stick to drinking Artie, don't listen to these addiction assholes that say you need to kick everything.

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"A man with crushed or cut-off testicles shall not enter into the assembly of the Lord"-Deuteronomy 23:1

Submitted by suckandfuck on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 1:12pm.
MOOZERELLE
MOOZERELLE
MOOZERELLE BALLS

EAT THEM UP LIKE A MEZZAFINOOK!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpmMLqk-FK4

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"A man with crushed or cut-off testicles shall not enter into the assembly of the Lord"-Deuteronomy 23:1