The Lucite Belle Of The Porn Ball
The AVN Awards, which is the Oscars but with less STDs and more elegance, was held in Las Vegas last night, and of course the Empress of Lucite was the glistening load everybody bathed in. Shauna won several awards including: Best Performance by an Angel in a Staged Sex Tape That Was Leaked On Purpose, Best Performance by a Lucite Heel, Best Religious Experience and Best Horror Movie.
While the other porn starlets wore custom-made gowns from the Flirt Catalog, Shauna kept it real in vintage Fredrick's of Hollywood. And by "vintage," I mean it had a few cum stains on the crotch.
The Empress wasn't going to even bother putting on a dress. Clothes would have gotten in the way when she found herself in a men's room stall with a strange dude at the end of the night. When Shauna pulled the purple string off one of her ankles, her elegant ensemble came off and an already lubed up condom fell out of her vag.
Here's more freshwater pearls from last night's AVNs including: April Flores, Dave Navarro, Lisa Ann, Ron Jeremy, Sasha Grey, a ginge beauty in JLo's old Grammy dress, and Margaret Cho.
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This is what's wrong with the Planet.
That Lucite heeled Goddess like Shauna should have had to reproduce and be bothered with such trivial annoyances such as children when she obviously has so much much more important things to do!!!!
But she is so gracious as to bless her children with her presence!!!! With such an amazing example as Goddess Shauna, they are sure to grow up to be superior individuals...heads of state, doctors, saints even!!!!!
hallelujah & amen!
I checked a satellite photo this morning of Southern California. At first, I thought the smoke over Orange County was a brushfire, but after reading this I realized it was probably Lorenzo and his lawyers burning the custody agreement.
I would pay mad ca$h just to sit in her attending a PTA meeting. The side-eyes the teachers and other mothers give her could probably cut at the sub-atomic level.
pure trash....if this is what porn looks like...man it is in a super sad state. None, and I mean NONE of these heifers and men (except Ron Jeremy....my lovely hedgehog) are sexy...they are fat, ugly, and Shauna...could she be any faker. This byatch is truly as fake as they come...her boobs are falling off and her orange skin and that mess of an outfit...only her can make something so revealing so un-sexy. When is this byatch going to hang it up...dayum I feel bad for her girls...
I feel so sorry for her daughters.....it will take years of therapy.
Is that thing a Tranny in the second last TN? I mean it, I'm trying to figure out if it's a man or not.
lol-elbow's.
I think Ron Jeremy is the only person there whose boobs are real.
ugh
her poor daughters
Some of the women in these pictures remind me of the aging fat goths who frequent a club near my place. I see the steady stream of them parading around, drunk, braying and stuffed into their corsets/dresses within an inch of their lives. They have that same world weary but determined look to them. God bless 'em.
And Shauna has zero panache. She fucks up an elegant outfit like that with a ..clunky black day purse? A small gem tone or metallic clutch woulda done ya, stupid Shauna! Instead all I can focus on is that awkward looking plain square purse with thick straps. Kills it all.
Shauna has out-whored actual whores.
I am impressed.
Time flies when you're a drunken whore.~MK
With Shauna being the only one who showed up dressed in underwear, it reminds me of a Golden Girls episode. Rose accidentally made their Valentines vacation reservations at a nudist camp. They finally decided to throw caution to the wind and get naked and go to the dining room for dinner. Evereyone else was fully dressed and the maitre'd (sp) tells them "We ALWAYS dress for dinner here ladies"....it was the best! Maybe someone was playing a mean joke on Shauna and didn't tell her that they "ALWAYS" dress for the awards shows.....
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I'm your huckleberry...
Submitted by Pimpcessa on Mon, 01/11/2010 - 9:42am.
WHO did Chace Crawford tap?? Please not the lucite queen........
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If Shauna is to be believed, she turned Chace into a man. I'd rather believe she turned him onto men, instead.
http://www.celebitchy.com/82422/shauna_sand_claims_she_deflowered_chace_...
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Bottom-feeder.
Gorge your eyes on Gorgeous Georgina : http://sites.google.com/site/gorgeousgeorginashow/home
your elbows give you away Shauna, I'm sure they have elbow rejuvenaton in LA! go for it, ho!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
WHO did Chace Crawford tap?? Please not the lucite queen.........
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I'm your huckleberry...
Thumbnail 8 & 11 - what the fuck are you thinking? Why do people find it necessary to wear almost nothing when they have a body that clearly cries out for coverage? And Margaret may be dressed a ltttle dumpy but at least she's not assaulting my eyes.
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I'm your huckleberry...
When your shoes and handbag cover more than your outfit, you may have under dressed...and I got scared for a moment I thought that was Carnie Wilson in the pink latex dress
All right now, which one of you whores went to Vegas yesterday and stole all the mirrors??
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I'm your huckleberry...
#4-Shana Moakler got FAT!
Chace Crawford is NEVER going to live down tapping that.
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Shiitake happens...
Submitted by Dr. Dick on Mon, 01/11/2010 - 8:32am.
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wendy_Williams_(pornography)if we're going by the photo tag.
What a classy bunch.....
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
Her parents and her children must be SO PROUD!
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Love,
Mabel
How little we understand what touches off that tingle,
That sudden explosion when two tingles intermingle. --Mrs. Kravitz
No, that wasn't Mike's dick milk dripping out of her. It was hypocrisy. MESSY! --MK
Who is the porker in the second to last thumb nail?
Congrats Evil Shoe!!
Michael K, as usual, you chose all the right pictures to post! Love the Pink Leathery Ginger Gal! LOVE, the Mohawk Pompadour! How classy!
Submitted by literarylioness on Mon, 01/11/2010 - 7:38am.
I always maintained he married Carmen Electra to double his wardrobe!
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Has Dave Navarro finally come out of the closet? He's not still trying to pretend he is straight, is he? Love the big girl in pink latex. Is that on the Parisan spring runways for 2010? Margaret Cho looks like she is going to join a nunnery in that group. Isn't display of skin mandatory for these shows?
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Mon, 01/11/2010 - 7:16am.
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Mon, 01/11/2010 - 7:04am.
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Her elbows look like they need a good scrubbin' with a Brillo pad too.
Shauna Sand has no talents for anything but sucking and f*cking so dressing like this is the only way she can get the attention she obviously craves. God, I feel so sorry for her kids. This skank is no role model at all.
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Never step into the path of a single woman and the last kielbasa sausage, it is very dangerous. That is dinner and a date all in one! - urmomma
Can she even feel sex anymore? I mean judging by the looks of her, and that pathetic sadness she called a sex tape. And is that an asspimple or boil in thumbnail 2? her ass has gone bad.
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Please get the fuck out ---->
jt
jeez, it's a cold day in hell when you can say the porn whores look downright respectable next to Shauna.
Beealzebub, here's your winter coat.
Evil Shoe, Congrats! That's wonderful! :-D
On t: Thumbnail #2: Hey, Shauna, knick your ankle a few times shaving? EW.
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
See-thru granny panties? Ick.
Sleaze Smorgasbord.
that blonde chick with cho is hot i'd go lesbian for her
my eyeeeeees...
Who would've thought that one of Shauna's outfits would bring back sweet memories of my childhood? Back to before the invention of the adhesive strip.
Leave it to Shauna to turn her monthly time into something fashionable.
Back in the day, they only came in white......
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_TbydJT8SQQI/SojkJU0EVVI/AAAAAAAAAI4/om9V4hwl5N...
So, throw away those Stayfree's and get back to the good ole' days! Shauna proves the sanitary belt is back in fashion.
*swoon*
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Bottom-feeder.
Gorge your eyes on Gorgeous Georgina : http://sites.google.com/site/gorgeousgeorginashow/home
LMTO @ Dave Bobble-Headed Navarro standing on tippy toes in #6. Maybe Shauna has a spare pair of platforms she can lend?
Gosh, so many ugly people in one place! Tacky, tacky...
April Flores is FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!! and a fan of dlisted. so give this woman her props!
Estrogen a-poppin!
Shauna, my BFF, when I saw that photo of you, I immediately thought of that old Stevie Wonder song: "Isn't She Lovely!".
You are truly a goddess from above, come down to earth to shower your beauty on us.
I. am. in. awe.
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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
2nd time around, I'm kinda liking the see-thru granny panties. Didn't know they made those. Hey Sockie - that would be an excellent gift item to your MIL from Santa.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Sun, 01/10/2010 - 10:29pm.
So when does Dave Navarro complete "the change"???
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bwahahahaha! The Hello Kitty hanging off his belt is a nice touch.
are those stretch marks around her cooch?
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"Now listen - I gave you that birthday, darling. Huh. I mean, you wouldn't have that birthday if I hadn't been generous enough to uncross my legs and give you to the world." -Edina Monsoon
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
If I didn't need to know who she was and everything about her I'd say she looks exactly right for attending a porn movie award show and in fact not bad. But we hate her enough to look too close to see it.
For those of you who have never seen Shauna Sand's high school picture - here you go...
http://www.zimbio.com/Celebrities/articles/328/Shauna+Sand+Yearbook+Pic+...
BTW...I know the industry goes through cycles of pushing a certain type of sex-or a certain type of chick.ENOUGH WITH THIS BBW BUSINESS...AND ENOUGH WITH SPITTING ON GENITALS.That is all.
Shauna's children and parents must be so proud.
I fell into Ron's party @ Little Buddha in The Palms.The industry may be in tough financial shape...but they still party like rock stars.
It's actually pre-school. I think I'm still good.
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You wouldn't know a diamond
If you held it in your hand
The things you think are precious
I can't understand
- Steely Dan "Reeling In The Years"
PSL, if you are interviewing for that elementary school teacher's position, this outfit will get you hired.