So Does This Mean American Idol Is Over Now?
Because Simon Cowell is finding it hard to go on without Paula Abdul's hot NyQuil breath making his titty hairs tingle, he has decided that the upcoming season of American Idol will be his last. Don't worry, Simon will continue to destroy dreams and kill futures on the US version of X-Factor, which will premiere on Fox in Fall 2011. Simon made the announcement this afternoon:
"We reached an agreement formally at about half past 10 this morning. Where we have come to and agreed is that X Factor will launch in America in 2011, with me judging the show and exec producing the show. Because of that this will be my last season on 'American Idol,' this year. I felt like doing something different. I want to leave Idol this year bigger and better than it's been before."
When Simon was asked if he has plans to lure Paula to X-Factor by leaving a trail of Vicodin bits from her house to the studio (Warning to Simon: You may attract a Lohan instead), he said, "I adore Paula. Whatever happens with her, I will be working with her in some capacity because I miss her."
So I guess somebody should hand Ryan Gaycrest a shovel (make sure it's toddler-sized) so he can start digging Idol's grave, because that shit cannot go on without Simon. That show runs off of Simon's words of bitchery. Without him, all you've got is LockJaw McDumbTits, Randy Jackson and Ellen Degeneres. Yeah, exactly. American Idol without Simon Cowell is like Roomba Cat without a Roomba.
via Variety
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WHO CARES! The show sucks solid anyway good riddance!
Nah, people will watch for the chemistry between Randy and Ellen...
http://www.toptwitsblog.com/search/label/Ellen%20DeGeneres
Never watched it. Won't miss it.
DAMN, Ellen better get in as many titty rubs as she can. Ill miss Simon's moobs too....here's Simon and Ellen getting to 2nd base on my webcomic:
http://butyourelikereallypretty.tumblr.com/post/189361227/ellen
Updated every HUMP DAY: http://www.butyourelikereallypretty.com
Gaykin was not an Idol winner though. I am talking the a-holes who actually won, Fantasia, the grey haired guy, the fat black guy, and whoever else WON the contest. The runners-up always do better than the winners. Oh, Jordan Sparks is around, but I do not know if she won or not.
Giving Paula the boot and now Simon leaving for sure spells the beginning of the end for Idol...straight up!
I have an aunt that is a huge Gaykin fan. She has photos of him interspersed with the rest of her family pix, so it looks like he's a second cousin or something.
dude needs to hire a stylist. it's not just the hair, but the too tight t-shirts accentuate his man boobs. and this is not a good thing.
@literarylioness: Weirdly - cuz I NEVER watch this show - I was thinking about it and I think Clay Aitken did the best only it's not as obvious becuz he went in different directions...but I think he's the closest to a household name kinda thing...
♥ Threadkilla!
Did you have a nice time last night, WHORE?
Idol is so over. The best idol is still Kelly Clarkson and MAYBE Carrie Underwear. They are the only two still on the charts. Everyone else pretty much disappeared. Remember Rupert Studdard? What happened to him? He had I'm sorry 2002? WTF was that? Simon had a thing with Paula and they will take their crapfest to the new British crapfest without Gaycrest.
@Tigerlilly:
No. Holy Watertinis for everyone! It is the ONLY way!
Trust me - I know about this shit.
♥ Threadkilla!
Did you have a nice time last night, WHORE?
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 01/11/2010 - 10:15pm.
The ECLIPSE is coming! On the fifteenth! And we shall all be set free! God Bless Banana Jesus!
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...and Cheezus and don't forget Madonna's Baby Jesus...he needs a twink...er, wink thrown his way...I personally prefer the Spaghetti Jesus and his only begotten son,....Sketti cat, but every DListed whore has got to worship as she/he sees fit....*bowing down to sketti, bananas and cheese*...*taking PURPLE DRANK communion...and lots of it*....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
The ECLIPSE is coming! On the fifteenth! And we shall all be set free! God Bless Banana Jesus!
♥ Threadkilla!
Did you have a nice time last night, WHORE?
NOOOOOOOOOOO! Idol won't be the same without Simon. Next year Idol won't have me as a watcher. This is the last year I'm watching American Idol.
I don't get why Ellen is even on, she isn't in a music industry.
Simon is hot.
he should just retire with his furry moobs.
puurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,
moosh
http://www.twolia.com/blogs/teacups-and-couture/
http://www.twolia.com/shop
...meanwhile, Randy Jackson just sits quietly in a corner and weeps.
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Bottom-feeder.
Gorge your eyes on Gorgeous Georgina : http://sites.google.com/site/gorgeousgeorginashow/home
Now they'll just suck without an accent.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
I cant believe this asshole gets 35 million dollars a year for this shit.. this show sucks
who watches this shit
and one more tiny little thing.....
SIMON...GET A FUCKING HAIR SYTLIST CUZ YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT!!!!!
nightall......
Submitted by Manimal5 on Mon, 01/11/2010 - 7:59pm.
*ploops in toilet*
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!
Submitted by Sugaroo on Mon, 01/11/2010 - 6:50pm.
Submitted by Auntie Mame on Mon, 01/11/2010 - 6:28pm.
OMG, someone else who remembers Open House? My mother loved that show!
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I remember that show!! God you are makin me feel OLDDDDD....
What exactly is the difference between both shows and the one on NBC?? Can someone explain it to me please?
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
(")_(")
I haven't watched since the first season, but I might this year just to see what Ellen does.
I can't picture Ellen on Idol. Maybe she is going to do something to distract from Simon somehow. Maybe that is the plan? I mean I love Ellen. It's just hard to picture her on AI. Seems to me there's a scheme in there somewhere to put her as the judge to watch instead of Simon so he can do his other show. I dunno.
AI without Paula or Simon = FAIL.
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"I'm not an asshole. I'm just drawn that way." --BK
"We reached an agreement formally at about half past 10 this morning. "
*puts on tuxedo*
*ploops in toilet*
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http://www.funnyforumpics.com/forums/attention-whore/2/attention-whore-a...
I don't care, I stopped watching this shit show right after Chris Daughtry lost. It's so obvious the stupid lame show is rigged when that awful ass gray haired Taylor dude won. Fucking lame ass whack ass show. Grr.
This show had it's expiration date ticking already, but they really hammered
the last nail in the coffin when they ditched Paula, and now Simon is leaving. Wonder how many contractually-obligated seasons are left. They promise to reach new lows of shitocracy.
And...ELLEN. What the fuck?!? I like her well enough but ho has ZERO business being on this show. Not only has she never sang or been a musical artist (and CANNOT sing, if you've ever heard her) but bitch was SRSLY annoying when she was guest judging last year. She was like a parody of herself, rambling through her schtick about purses, yogurt, combs, ANYTHING but addressing the actual performance besides a little "I liked you, you did well" throwaway aside at the very end. It was very uncomfortable, forced smiles and laughter all around. And it was EVERY damn time she spoke!!! Good God, put that dyke (and this show) down.
Nice butt cut there, Simon.
Kelly Clarkson, Carrie UNdercrackers
FOR GOd's SAKE PEOPLE CLAY AIKEN!!?!?!? LOLOLOLOL
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
Submitted by Sugaroo on Mon, 01/11/2010 - 6:50pm.
Submitted by Auntie Mame on Mon, 01/11/2010 - 6:28pm.
OMG, someone else who remembers Open House? My mother loved that show! Alison La Placa and that Charles Philip MacKenzie or whatever, were hysterical!
Ellen played the psycho receptionist with a crazed cat. I thought her blank clueless staring, bumbling, slightly off her nut character was an act. I was wrong.
"Jesus and God really need to file a joint lawsuit against bitches for dragging their good names into unadulterated fuckery!" MK 2/15/09
Submitted by Auntie Mame on Mon, 01/11/2010 - 6:28pm.
OMG, someone else who remembers Open House? My mother loved that show! Alison La Placa and that Charles Philip MacKenzie or whatever, were hysterical!
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Never step into the path of a single woman and the last kielbasa sausage, it is very dangerous. That is dinner and a date all in one! - urmomma
Someone is lying to Simon about the skunk on his head. It's ironic that Simon can critique talented singers ability to perform but he can't correctly see the wrong in that mop on top of his head. Very bizarre.
Anyway...Simon is the one who made Idol successful and without him the ratings will drop for sure. It's sweet that he misses Paula. It makes me like him more.
Submitted by BorgQueen on Mon, 01/11/2010 - 5:52pm.
For goodness sake, even guess judge Posh was a musical entertainer (I refuse to call her a singer). DioGuardo is a accomplish songwriter and has worked with artists.
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I'm glad you brought that up. I was radio station flipping today and Posh was on Gaycrest. Honestly, while she spoke, I was literally sitting there for several minutes trying to figure out why the fuck she would be a guest on that show. Then it dawned on me...The Spice Girls LMAO!!
koko..you are not alone. here we have Latin american Idol (rolls eyes)latin american whatever...also Mexico's and or Brazil's Next top model...it's the whole world that is messed up.
(goes under her covers)
Coma Caca!
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i can proudly say (even though i shit and puked all over myself once--see open post) i have NEVER watched american idol...all i have seen are the clips from the commercials of the old/fat/crazy/"wacky" people doing their dumb ass routines for pathetic attention...anything with the title of "american this" or "america's next best blah blah" SUCKS. when has there ever been a succesful model, dance crew, singer, talent, whatever from one of these stupid insufferable shows?
Idol is totally dead to me now. I fucking HATE Ellen. I have hated her stupid, non- funny ass for YEARS. I hated her since she first popped up on the retarded "Open House" show on Fox YEARS AGO. I even HATE HER COVER GIRL COMMERCIALS! Now Simon is going? Fuck them all.
"Jesus and God really need to file a joint lawsuit against bitches for dragging their good names into unadulterated fuckery!" MK 2/15/09
all those shows...suck ass!!
Coma Caca!
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xoxoxoxoxo provy!
LOL
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 01/11/2010 - 6:10pm.
I'd much rather watch Idol, WITH Paula and Simon, than most of the BULL shit that is on regular tv, Grays Anatomy? Two and a half men, ahahahhaha now that's some BULL SHIT!
The audition's and the banter between simon and paula during them, is funnier than anything i've ever seen on 30 rock. There I said it!
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"A man with crushed or cut-off testicles shall not enter into the assembly of the Lord"-Deuteronomy 23:1
Submitted by suckandfuck on Mon, 01/11/2010 - 6:05pm.
that.
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It's 1000% believable to me. The fatty shit probably comes from when he was a kid, he was a total fatty, he doesn't look fat at all though. Hmm what's worse for a man..being fat or being short...hmmmm
8====================> (_*_)
Indeed, it's all in his mind...that is why his queeny I'm-so-fat tantrums are so ridiculous and some of the off-camera staff on Idol make fun of him for this...he'll end up anorexic and hiring Chupacabra Zoe as his stylist...ha!
"Honey, we're all lesbians when the right man is not around." - Karen Walker
I'm amazed this shitfest has lasted as long as it has!
I'd much rather watch Idol, WITH Paula and Simon, than most of the BULL shit that is on regular tv, Grays Anatomy? Two and a half men, ahahahhaha now that's some BULL SHIT!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
Submitted by SpiceDong on Mon, 01/11/2010 - 5:55pm.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Mon, 01/11/2010 - 5:38pm.
I got from a very trusted source close to AI that Gaycrest has a fatty complex...he is always complaining that he is fat and everything he does and wears is carefully chosen to make him look slim...and here I thought that he would be most concerned about his short stature and looking tall a la Tom Cruise. Oh and yes, Gaycrest does like to discreetly feast on man-sausage but we all knew that.
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It's 1000% believable to me. The fatty shit probably comes from when he was a kid, he was a total fatty, he doesn't look fat at all though. Hmm what's worse for a man..being fat or being short...hmmmm
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Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:59pm.
suckandfuck you are by far the most vile person here
With Palin on board Faux can take side trips shooting wolves from planes.
I think Simon is going to get a bigger head and flop.
am I the only person here who has never watched an episode of American Idol? no matter who's in it, I never ever saw one single episode on TV...not even one bit...whatever I know about it, I learned it or saw it on DListed. I can't even watch the clips MK posts here past the 2 second mark. That type of show has never appealed to me.
They need to bring back Solid Gold! that's entertainment!
8====================> (_*_)
"Honey, we're all lesbians when the right man is not around." - Karen Walker
Submitted by Sugaroo on Mon, 01/11/2010 - 5:48pm.
nevermind.
That was "Briton's Got Tallent" not "X Factor".
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Submitted by stolidog on Mon, 01/11/2010 - 5:33pm.
ps, X Factor is a talent competition, not just singing, and it can be more than one person, and there's no age limit....Susan Boyle (107 year old cat licker) came in second place to a dancing group on X Factor.
"We reached an agreement formally at about half past 10 this morning. Where we have come to and agreed is that X Factor will launch in America in 2011, with me judging the show and exec producing the show."
Switching to another show is not like the motherfucking moon landing. We don't need to know the exact moment it happened. Television is getting ridiculous. I'm probably going to end up watching PBS or Golden Girls.
Submitted by BorgQueen on Mon, 01/11/2010 - 5:52pm.
That has long been my complaint when they let Tarantino come in as a guest coach. I don't care if he chooses all the music for his films himself. He gave terrible advice last season.
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."