Woe Is Alice Kim

While the IRS is doing the dick slappy dance today, former sushi waitress Alice Kim is crying into her cashmere sheets. You see, Alice Kim has to watch in horror as her husband Nicolas Cage shovels massive amounts of nuggets from their giant pile of gold into a bag marked "TAXES."

TMZ reports that Nic owes the IRS around $13.3 million for unpaid back taxes for 2002-2008. And Alice was planning on buying a small town this year to house her entire collection of Louis Vuitton bags. Now Alice will have to keep all her goods in a Public Storage!!! This is not her life.

Nicolas blames it all on his money manager Sam Levin. According to Nic, he would've been better off hiring Trouble Helmsley or an obese hamster with cataracts to do his taxes. But Sam Levin blames it on Nic's overspending. In 2008, Nicolas had 15 mansions, a jet, four yachts and enough jooree to make DeShawn Snow's lock jaw drop (that's a lot of jooree).

Nic issued this statement about his money troubles: "Over the course of my career I have paid at least $70 million in taxes. Unfortunately, due to a recent legal situation, another approximate $14 million is owed to the IRS, however, I am under new business management and am happy to say that I am current for 2009. All taxes will be paid including any to be determined state taxes."

New Business Management = H&R Block.

Posted by: Michael K

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Gold Diggers • I Don't Like Jokes

Submitted by mikidais on Mon, 01/18/2010 - 1:12pm.

He has gotten so fugly.

What a dumbfuck. Who the hell needs 15 mansions. Did he rent them out?

Submitted by gnarlyone on Sun, 01/17/2010 - 5:46pm.

maybe she should have a pity party with dennis hopper's
soon to be ex?

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/

Submitted by Centaurious on Sun, 01/17/2010 - 5:17pm.

Nic Cage lives in San Francisco.

Is he married to her because he really loves her or because he wanted to marry the girl next door?

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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."

Submitted by Big Bertha on Sun, 01/17/2010 - 2:40pm.

i think he had some real talent and potential when he was younger, now he's just a hack.

_______________________________________________
Dale Doback: Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go!

Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Sun, 01/17/2010 - 12:13pm.

What is homosexual Nick doing with the Ornamental 'pro'?

Usually these type fish are paired up only with fugly white men (aka "str8 guys")!

Submitted by MizRo on Sun, 01/17/2010 - 11:41am.

I soooooooo don't care. Nic Cage can lose the shirt off his untalented, nepotistic back and I would smile and shrug.

Submitted by Sayonara on Sun, 01/17/2010 - 7:55am.

Well damn! I didn't know that Nic was rolling like that.

You just lost one.. What a bum bum..

Submitted by scisan60 on Sun, 01/17/2010 - 1:44am.

Are they eating at the Olive Garden?

Submitted by julesinSD on Sun, 01/17/2010 - 1:35am.

No worries Hekki - Chairman Obama is working on your entitlement package and permanent welfare compensation as we post.

Barry's counting on the low volts and least sophisticated among us to swallow the bait and get hooked FOR LIFE.

How else could he claim job creation?

SOMEONE has to earn 71k a year handing out your welfare benefits don't they?

Submitted by letinstar on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 11:36pm.

maybe alice can get her old waitress job back and help ol nic out with his debt...i'm if she works hard enough for those tips, that debt should be paid off in no time...
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what you gonna do? tell mom and dad I put your dick sucking list on facebook?” – "i love facebook like you love cock..."

Submitted by bohemeballerine on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 8:00pm.

Alice is very pretty...and as for Deshawn? I miss her. Sigh. She was classy and not trashy like these "tardy for the party" idiots they have on now

Submitted by original putas on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 7:59pm.

Have you taken a look at most Asian dudes? Yikes! I don't blame this trick one bit.

Submitted by Erika_Leigh28 on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 6:23pm.

oh and as for her. another typical gold diggin asian whore. don't they have enuf asian guys to marry over there and STAY there. shit i heard there was an uneven ratio of men to women she shouldn't have any problem finding an asian guy

Submitted by TITS on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 7:15pm.

Submitted by Cara on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 6:38pm.

Well thank god you deliver!

;)

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
A Dlisted Public Service Announcement: http://www.paris-kim.com/potholes/munch.htm
http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2009-03/24/reports-of-my-death.aspx?...

Submitted by Cara on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 7:08pm.

Submitted by Erika_Leigh28 on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 6:23pm.
"don't they have enuf asian guys to marry over there and STAY there."

Interesting fact, they do make us Asian folk here in the US too. We're not all from "there". :)

Submitted by TITS on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 7:04pm.

Wait... the americans have a delicious system where by if you report someone for tax evasion you get a portion of whatever monies are recovered. I think it's like 1 or 2%.

If his wife was smart she'd be supplementing her income..wait....

DIBS!!!!

Submitted by david Letterman... on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 7:02pm.

Submitted by kokoskitten on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 6:06pm.

Fuck, I don't even trust a buddy to watch my change on the bar when I hit the men's room!

I agree with the personal responsibility and all, but he was good to people around LA when he needed to be. If he owns a dinosaur head, or a cobra, well it's his money to burn. I buy stupid shit too, just can't afford the stupid shit that costs thousands, but I like to spend money I make. I do save like crazy though, so when I am outta work, I can pay my bills.

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 6:59pm.

This asshole should be in jail. The rest of us po' ass ho's skip out on our taxes then blame some Poindexter accountant, but don't have enough money to cut a deal with the IRS would be in jail. Just because HE can NOW (once he's caught ripping off the gub'ment) cut a deal with the IRS and FINALLY pay his back taxes doesn't mean he shouldn't check into Club Fed for at least a short (30-60 days)stay. What message does this send? You can commit tax fraud and get away with it as long as you're rich and able to cough up the cash after being nailed for COMMITTING A CRIME???? FUCK HIM!

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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by TITS on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 6:53pm.

Submitted by super martian r... on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 5:59pm.

sorry for the off topic, i'm just flabberghasted.

in canada (last I heard) you rec'd (aside from any corporate plans benefits) one year of unemployment benefits from the federal unemployment kitty = 50% of your gross income. here everyone pays a little bit into unemployment taxes with every paycheque, i think it maxes out at $300 per year or something. It's not corporate like in the states.

so 6 weeks UNPAID (when you likely have expenses galore) and then what do they think is going to happen - you'll go back to work and stop breastfeeding? that's just so stupid for so many reasons.

personally i think 1 year is too short.

wow.

Submitted by Erika_Leigh28 on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 6:52pm.

i agree no sympathy from me he has too much shit. but also where the fuck did he get all that shit his movies suck and his acting is in keanu reeves ballpark... it sucks

Submitted by Cara on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 6:47pm.

Submitted by julesinSD on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 3:11pm.
"the liberals wanted America to look like Europe - we're there!"

I guess you've never been to Europe.

Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 6:45pm.

Eep! Six weeks?! That's insane.

♥ Threadkilla!
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. ~ Joseph Heller

Submitted by kokoskitten on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 6:36pm.

alright...i'll concede because i do think i remember hearing about that...but it's the whole not taking responsbility for your own $$$ that bothers me the most. no way in hell if i had all that money would i just trust someone to do right (although i do think it was his extravagant purchases and still mostly his fault)...he grew up a fucking coppola...it's not like he came straight from no money...

Submitted by david Letterman... on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 6:32pm.

Submitted by kokoskitten on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 5:38pm.

He gave a lot of money to the victims of Hurricane Katrina, and was around NOLA helping out people in need. You may not have heard about it nationally, I am from Slidell, LA, and he was in the papers a lot for stuff he did after the hurricane. He used to own a haunted place in NOLA.

Submitted by super martian r... on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 6:30pm.

Submitted by Tatiana on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 5:51pm.

And I agree his wife is gonna divorce him and find someone with more $$$.

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With her stunning good looks and snaggletooth?

Submitted by super martian r... on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 6:29pm.

Submitted by TITS on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 5:25pm.
Submitted by Hekki on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 4:37pm.

tell me you're joking. you don't get a years maternity leave?

W.
T.
F.

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No, I believe it's only 6 weeks UNPAID maternity leave as the standard.

Submitted by hollywoodgossip on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 6:26pm.

No, he is talented actor.

Hollywood Gossips

Submitted by Tatiana on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 6:21pm.

He seems very stunted. I know rich people buy a lot of stuff they don't need but seriously, 15 mansions? He sounds like a little kid who just points and says, "I want that!" at whatever catches his eye. Maybe all this tax trouble will finally make him grow up.

And I agree his wife is gonna divorce him and find someone with more $$$.

Submitted by kokoskitten on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 6:08pm.

nicolas cage and leo were in a BIDDING WAR for a dinosaur skull...ugggh, nic won for the bargain price of 276,000k...I HATE HOLLYWOOD. sponsor a charity or something,even give 1/10th of that...nicolas cage is one of the douchiest of douches EVER !!!!

http://thesuperficial.com/2009/11/nicolas_cage_owns_a_276000_din.php

Submitted by Whatever on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 6:07pm.

It's always someone else's fault Nic. YAWN!

Submitted by TITS on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 5:55pm.

Submitted by Hekki on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 4:37pm.

tell me you're joking. you don't get a years maternity leave?

W.
T.
F.

Submitted by TITS on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 5:49pm.

Nic Cage: Worst Actor of His Generation by Gawkertv:

http://tv.gawker.com/5408578/nicolas-cage-the-worst-actor-of-his-generat...

and it thought it was just me!

Submitted by fauve on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 5:15pm.

What an asshole to buy all that ostentatious crap, get married 15 times (or thereabouts) and then try to blame his serial stupidity on someone else.

I actually went to high school with him (he was a few years older and hadn't changed his name to Cage yet). Damn, he looks beat... at least 20 years older than his real age. Alice looks about 13 and like a deer in the headlights. I can't believe that white speck on my screen is a tooth.

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"She couldn't clean her image if an archangel gave her a Silkwood scrubdown in the Ganges on a High Holy Day." - Who Datt re: HoHan

Submitted by Hekki on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 5:07pm.

Submitted by julesinSD: "The US could once brag to the world about or our low taxation - now we are on par with them or giving every 50 cents on every dollar we earn to the stinking govt. the liberals wanted America to look like Europe - we're there!"

Not quite, unfortunately. Where's my free healthcare and six weeks paid vacation and year of maternity leave?

Submitted by Sluttsville on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 4:58pm.

Submitted by justice on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 4:05pm.
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I'm not positive, but I believe the reason that Wesley Snipes went to prison is because he didn't file taxes at all; whereas Nicholas paid taxes, just not enough. Don't get me wrong, I have little sympathy for the guy.

Submitted by justice on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 4:35pm.

How on earth do they suddenly realise you owe them $14m? I thought you go to jail for not paying taxes? What happened to Wesley Snipes? Why doesn't he have a sneaky way to pay less tax? He's paid $70m and is paying another $14m... just how much was he being paid for these not very good films to afford 15 mansions and dinosaurs?

Questions, questions.

--thanks awfully--

Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 4:28pm.

I like the way we always root for the gold diggers on that blog.

Submitted by sushi on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 3:46pm.

I love it when gold diggers marry for money and then end up homeless. Sweetness.

I also love when these Hollywood liberals want a free ride for everyone but don't want to pay their own fucking taxes.

Submitted by julesinSD on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 3:41pm.

Nic, the IRS is just getting started with you and the rest of us - you think you pay A LOT now, wait until the OBAMA welfare nation taxes us all in a 70/30 split to be sure the illegal aliens have their pap smears and anchor babies on US soil.

The US could once brag to the world about or our low taxation - now we are on par with them or giving every 50 cents on every dollar we earn to the stinking govt. the liberals wanted America to look like Europe - we're there!

Submitted by julesinSD on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 3:41pm.

Submitted by quickkill on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 3:40pm.

Sure, Nick. The taxes are paid. Sure.

Submitted by david Letterman... on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 3:27pm.

Submitted by Bree on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 2:44pm.
Submitted by ikoihiI on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 2:15pm.

Is that an unruly tooth making an appearance, wandering out around the left side of her mouth? Is it saying hi to Nick, or waving goodbye to the moneybags?

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I seriously thought that was a spec of dirt on my screen. That's a TOOTH? Eek.

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I thought it was a spot on my screen too. Now that I look closer, I think it is a tooth! Gross.

Submitted by kokoskitten on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 3:25pm.

i love blaming the business manager...i think the most i have ever had (and believe me it's gone now) was about 13,000 dollars in savings and checking (while still owing 20 something k in student loans) and i checked that shit everyday online....absolutely no sympathy for some dumb ass who buys dinosaur skeletons, elvis memorabilia, and a million houses....

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 3:17pm.

Submitted by ikoihiI on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 2:15pm.

Is that an unruly tooth making an appearance, wandering out around the left side of her mouth? Is it saying hi to Nick, or waving goodbye to the moneybags?

****

I have no idea what it is and I hate you for making me look closer, but your whole post gave me the giggles so bad.

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Submitted by Bree on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 3:14pm.

Submitted by ikoihiI on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 2:15pm.

Is that an unruly tooth making an appearance, wandering out around the left side of her mouth? Is it saying hi to Nick, or waving goodbye to the moneybags?

---

I seriously thought that was a spec of dirt on my screen. That's a TOOTH? Eek.

Submitted by Green Is Good on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 3:00pm.

15 mansions, and he's blaming his biz manager? Ass-hat. Stop spending your fucking money on useless shit. Ain't nobody else to blame for this mess.

Submitted by ikoihiI on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 2:45pm.

Is that an unruly tooth making an appearance, wandering out around the left side of her mouth? Is it saying hi to Nick, or waving goodbye to the moneybags?

Submitted by Sibsi on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 2:19pm.

I thought that was Lainey Gossip for a second.

Then I realized she has much better taste in clothes.

Likely also has better taste in man.

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 2:04pm.

Wow between living in a fantasy land where naming your kid Kal-El is a good idea and marrying Elvis's daughter for five minutes, who saw financial ineptitude coming!?

*Shock face*

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