Finally, An Elegant Blouse For All You Refined Ladies Out There
If you've been watching the opera known as Jersey Shore, then there's a good chance that when JWoww sashayed onto the screen wearing a blouse that looked like it was hand sewn by Coco Chanel herself, your nipples looked up at you and quoted Liz Lemon by saying, "I want to go to there." Well, now they can go there. Tell them to get their shots first!
JWoww (or "JWOAH" if your name is Joey Russo) has launched a fashion line, and the first item up for sale is the infamous scoopy curtain thing she wore on Jersey Shore. As you can tell from the artist's exquisite rendering, the workmanship is impeccable. If Miss Bimbo was a member of the royal family, she would wear this to every ball.
I will let JWoww's website explain further. The quotation marks are properly placed:
Jenni has created the ultimate in fashionable clothing. She will be reinventing the term "Sexy Sophisticated." Not only will her line be "Edgy" and "Sexy", but it will make people of all ages and body type feel more confident in "the scene." This exclusive line will be limited and custom made to your body type.…Remember you don't want to be that person at the club that see's someone else wearing the same thing…
Don't even think of making your own bootleg version of this blouse using an after-sex sheet. It will never have JWoww's stamp of approval.
And if you want your baby head chichis to look like there's an imaginary rib spreader between them like JWoww's, just tell the left one that the right one is talking shit about it. They won't want to be near each other after that!
Here's the toast of the Paris fashion scene at a Lakers game last night with her guidette-in-waiting Snooki.
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snooki this might lead up to a hustler pictorial,do it your 15 mins. or 15 episodes is running out
If it weren’t for MK I wouldn’t know these people existed (a good thing). This is precisely why I haven’t watched network/cable programming in ten years. Pathetic exhibitionism and inane programming.
She wants attention, well, I’ll give her mine.
*pet peeve mode on*
Thankfully the majority of men are stimulated by more than the sight of two silicone mountains astride a cavernous ravine. Perhaps someone should inform Ms. Jersey that women who are easily obtained are usually hastily discarded.
Some women are very narrow-minded about men. The subtle art of simulating a man’s five senses can bring out his imaginative nature. A beautiful woman walking gracefully across a crowded room can attract a man‘s eyes. A delicate fragrance can lure him to brush aside your hair to kiss your neck and cleavage. Whispering in his ear as his strong hands gently unbutton your blouse to reveal your bra can set his heart and mind racing. Tasting his mouth as he softly caresses your legs then unfastens your garter offers the promise of hidden pleasures. Firmly pressing your body close to his…well, need I say more?!
The subtle possibilities are as varied and sensual as the individuals.
Being undressed by a man is much more satisfying than putting yourself on display like a salami in a deli window.
*pet peeve mode off*
This type of elegant blouse only looks good on whitetrash ladies out there with fake boobs. How else would they stay in place unless you superglued your nipples to one point on each side. Real boobs move far too much for this look to work, just ask any Hooters employee.
"When dick is rancid, you know as soon as you pull the fly down. Seriously, you can smell it right away. It's like a week-old grilled cheese sandwich lying on a hot subway seat in the middle of August."
Not to quibble, but I believe the Liz Lemon quote was "I want to go to there" as in I want one boob to go east and one to go west so as to avoid an embarrassing nip slip. These shirts need to come with a disclaimer that only fake boobs need apply. Real titties would not know how to behave in these things and would hang down and flap in the breeze.
I am ashamed to say I own this shirt in lavender. This shirt exists in any club clothing store, and has forever, nothing original.
In my defense, I don't have huge implants like Jwoww, so it doesn't look as ho-ish. I also have never actually worn the shirt. I just made the mistake of taking my husband shopping with me and he convinced me to get it. He likes when I dress like a ho.
don't even i rather wear the slut /racist dress a la heather graham than this piece of..................... no word for it just ugleeeeeeeeeeeee, at least the slut dress IS DESIGNER
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night crew !!!!!!!!
xoxxox
I just read Jwoww's bio and I don't get it. I thought she was a bartender; she does great things...
But now she's a computer programmer?
Haha! She's an undercover geek. That's why she comes across so hardcore;p
♥ Threadkilla!
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. ~ Joseph Heller
The retards made it seem like this show was the next saddam and gomorrah. It's just a couple of harmless 20 year olds trying to have a good time.
I like her the best of all these Jersey Shore people: she's tough and gritty. Fashionwise? No thank you.
My opinion.
Snookie looks like a stuffed sausage. Poor dear thinks she is sexy.
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Britney Spears the world isn't laughing with you they are laughing at you.
I just can't get over how much tanning these people do and no one ever mentions this...they are going to get skin cancer if they don't already. Such a bad message to send - daily GTL (Gym TAN Laundry)?. Although the goverment has added a new high tax on tanning so maybe these ignorant guidos will singlehandedly turn the economy around or at least pay Wall Street bonuses!
"Jenni has created the ultimate in fashionable clothing."
Give me a break!
You just lost one.. What a bum bum..
Wow...i dont have the tits for this...damn =[
www.myspace.com/vienna_rossi
Aww cmon...JWow seems nice! And her site isn't too bad. She's got her shit together and is at least doing business. As for Snooki, she is studying to be a vet. These ppl. have a strange culture, but I would say it's just as shallow to judge them based on it as it is to wear that skanky shirt.
i'm warming to this snookie slut...no f'n idea who she is tho
Well, at least when she vomits jello-shots down her chest there will only be a tiny little bit to clean up.
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
at least the products of Andy Warhol, and later, the Disco 2000 crowd, were interesting. These girls only bring a single word to mind: common.
how do these chicks stay drunk all the time, drink beer and such and not have big old guts ??? i guess it's the cok(typo that stays)/meth/speed they do...when i used to do coke many moons ago it just made me drink more so i was super skinny everywhere except for a gut...
i can tbe the only one who thinks jwows a lez
i guess the cum all over me jeans ars next
I can't get past how terrible her extensions look. Almost as bad as Kate's, but she couldn't have spent more than $20 so it's not as bad
They look like Rainbow Brite maxipads.
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
there are actually a bunch of other sites where you can get your ho on already.
greatglam.com is a good one. lots of ho stuff there. And I'm sure I've seen that shirt (or something close to it) on there.
Not that I would ever buy it............
<.< >.>
i think i drank way too much caffeine because in the first thumbnail j-ho reminds me of hillary duff playing brandon teena (boy's don't cry) in drag...does that even make sense ?
jwoww should do something to make her even more relevant by donating one quarter of 1% of her profits to haitian relief...i'm sure she would see that as an extremely generous amount. or maybe when the red cross starts accepting clothes etc, she can ship over a carton of these lovely shirts!
You HAVE to go look at her website and page through the links. Oh and she has a live Twitter thing going on too.
One gem from her "about me" link:
"Jenni always had a thing for nightclubs, but being the impatient & easily annoyed type never wanted to wait on the lines. It was the long lines, cold winters, and fake club promoters who think they own NY that got Jenni to realize that she wasn't going to be like everyone else who had to wait or pay to get into clubs in the tri state area. After conquering the club scene on long island and much of Manhattans outlaying boroughs she realized she wanted to reach out to the rest of the country by telling her story through MTV's newest reality show "Jersey Shore".
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Think of all the amounts of dick butter, ass jelly, nose dingles, taint cream and pit wine he has produced. (MK)
Submitted by bohemeballerine on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 7:02pm.
I love how her hair is all the same color now...very nice!
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My hair dresser refers to that particular color as 'Waffle House shoe polish black'...Troof.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I love how her hair is all the same color now...very nice!
Who knew that "reinventing sexy sophisticated" meant squeezing into a pair of acid-washed jeans circa 1990 Rico Suave, and draping a swatch of cheap polyester knit over your nipples. All these years I've been wearing French, West Bank-inspired outfits, only to realize now that I've been doing "sexy sophisticated" entirely wrong.
These skanks were entertaining for about two minutes when they were comically real, but now that they're famewhoring for serious $$$, it's time for them to disappear from our pop culture vernacular.
All of these JS girls especially JWoww, more like JBowWow, are fugly as hell. Yet they seem to think that they're hot shit when they're not even passably pretty by a long shot. No amount of big hair, revealing clothes, implants, or sexy face is going to cure this brand of fug.
Submitted by Schlong on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 6:43pm.
Bolt-on tickle-me Elmo.
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Step father edition...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Bolt-on tickle-me Elmo.
Like Lucite heels a la Shauna Sand...and the belt worn as a top a la Jodie Marsh, this effortlessly chic blouse will remain a fashion staple in the wardrobe of all refined and elegant ladies (who frequent the free clinic...and never seem to smell quite right 'down there')...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Hekki - I think you are spot on regarding JWoww. The w.t. shines right through.
and EvilShoe, what bothers me most is that Snooki has no top lip to apply lip color too. If ever there was someone who needed a lip plumped up, there she is!
Both Snooki and JWoww are very ordinary and plain looking.
Is anyone else bothered by the fact that Snooki never has lip color? Ever. I just wanna paint her lips with some cherry chapstick or something!
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"Can we talk later? The news is on... Well, if you have tuberculosis it's not gonna get any worse in the next 30 minutes, jesus." ShitMyDadSays on Facebook
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 6:15pm.
How a couple of random club rats have become celebrities could only be answered by the late, great Andy Warhol. Seriously, I don't watch this shit, but, to me, it just is a marvel of the times we live in that two spray-tanned mingers with no media connections got this far. And I guess that's a compliment to the aforementioned mingers.
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I second ALL of that.
=^^=
this shirt is old news it's been in club stores for at least 2 years now where the fuck have they been
I have no idea who they are but I want one of these in every color, I would totally rock this thing.
They take PayPal too. *gets out PayPal Business Card*
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"Can we talk later? The news is on... Well, if you have tuberculosis it's not gonna get any worse in the next 30 minutes, jesus." ShitMyDadSays on Facebook
How a couple of random club rats have become celebrities could only be answered by the late, great Andy Warhol. Seriously, I don't watch this shit, but, to me, it just is a marvel of the times we live in that two spray-tanned mingers with no media connections got this far. And I guess that's a compliment to the aforementioned mingers.
Did it really have the word "see's"?.LOLOLOL
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If they start sending freaks to jail, I’m guilty as charged.
I don't like her
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Daily Hollywood Gossips
I'm sure Billy Ray has already ordered one in each color for Noah to wear them.
I get the feeling (and it's just a feeling) that the other girls come from relatively decent homes with normal parents. I get the feeling that JWoww was raised in foster homes with foster dads that would feel her up and require blow jobs so she could have extra servings of Hungry Man dinners. Her real parents are in jail or dead. She's hardcore.
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I get the same feeling. Did you see the episodes when Snooki's mom and Vinny's family came in? They seemed relatively normal (not freaks). JWoww is pure trash, and there's no helping it.
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♥*♥*♥*♥*♥* Why do you ride women that look like men?! Why do you ride hippos?! *♥*♥*♥*♥*♥
Those "breasts" are fugly. ===============================================
=^^=
Enough of these fugly trolls already.
Submitted by crazyinjapan on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 5:37pm.
Ooh, those are fancy. I want one in every color to wear to church in summer!
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LOLOLOLOL! I'd love to see that fuckery!
Ooh, those are fancy. I want one in every color to wear to church in summer!
those 'shirts' cost $49.99.
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Dale Doback: Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go!
You've gotta show a clip of the mess that was HSN presenter Colleen Lopez's dress last night. I could not belieeeeeeve it!!:(
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sat, 01/16/2010 - 3:27pm.
You know what? There are people who struggle to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table, yet this revolting piece of garbage gets $10,000 per gig just to show up at clubs. There is something very wrong with this country.
********AMEN,SUGAROO,AMEN!*****************
"Jesus and God really need to file a joint lawsuit against bitches for dragging their good names into unadulterated fuckery!" MK 2/15/09
ugh, stop giving these pieces of shit attention. If I wanted to see this crap, I never would have moved out of NY.
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Cry, if you want to cry, if it helps you see
If it clears your eyes
Hate, if you want to hate, if it keeps you safe
If it makes you brave
- Soundgarden "My Wave"