Madonna And Jesus Want To Have A Baby Together
Even though 51-year-old Vadge has the uterus of a dead zombie, she's reportedly trying to make a baby with her 22-year-old paid piece Jesus. If Vadge is successful, this will be the biggest miracle since the Virgin Mary gave birth to Jesus in a petting zoo. This is the immaculate conception on roids.
One of Vadge's close friends say that Baby Jesus told her that he's always want to have a child of his very own. You know, so he'll have someone to play trucks with him in the playroom, and someone he can put the blame on when he poops in the tub during bath time. The friend went on to say that Vadge is going to try to make Baby Jesus' wish come true, "Em says motherhood is her greatest achievement and the most fulfilling thing in her life. She knows that, at 51, it's going to be harder to conceive naturally. But she is Olympic-athlete fit and is ready for the challenge."
The only way Vadge can give birth without overdosing on IVF is if Michelle Duggar leased out her uterus of steel to her and KFed dropped a gallon of his sperm fishies into her vagina. And even then, there's a good chance Vadge's roidy cooch would eat the baby before it even came out.
Vadge should just stick to dating babies.
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I thought Vadge tried this with Guy Richie to no avail. She would have to get a donor egg and she always had difficult pregnancies. I don't believe this story. It reminds me of the Cher rumors back in the day. She was trying to have a kid with her bagel maker. Kind of funny and old.
Well...no need for dinner now since I just lost my lunch. Does SOS make a special pad to scrub out unwanted mental images?
Jesus should start fucking Madonna up the ass so she can't get pregnant, unless her crabs carry the semen from her ass to the fortress that is her pussy.
let's see - madonna hasn't been in the news for a few days since she announced with great fanfare that she was giving $250,000 to haiti (when others such as gisele buendchen were giving so much more. . . )
pathetic
Why doesn't she just buy him one. He can pick out one that matches his accessories.
If this is true, this bitch is so much more delusional than I ever imagined.
My mom is 56. And these days people have kids very late. But if my mom came to me and said she was going to make a baby, I would laugh.
How many 51 year olds do you see competing at the Olympics? Madge may break a hip trying to give birth.
I doubt she froze her eggies, so they'd use his wawas and a donor's egg to make a baby, stick it in a surrogate's oven till it's done. This story is funny as if being athletic keeps you fertile, fends off menopause, and eliminates the need for KY.
Who cares if she is athletic? What about all the trailer trash meth heads that pop out babies like a Pez dispenser?
If you are hitting menopause, there is noooo amount of physical fitness that can help you conceive at that point. It's possible she can have a baby somehow, but its the big bucks that will help achieve that, not her physical fitness.
Who's gonna cary it, him or her?
Urgh that Jesus gives me the creeps! Madonna could get pregnant despite having had the old meno. Didn't a 70 yr old in India have kids? Anyway I doubt this is true. I know she wants us to believe Jesus is not at all a homo (despite everyone in fashion knowing that he is and you know.. look at him!) but I doubt she will want to be pregnant again. I mean if she wanted all that shit, she could have stuck it out with Guy who is at least better looking that this .... child?
I thought Madge exercised all those eggs outta her system. I doubt his sperm could survive in such hostile territory.
"When dick is rancid, you know as soon as you pull the fly down. Seriously, you can smell it right away. It's like a week-old grilled cheese sandwich lying on a hot subway seat in the middle of August."
You know, it's kind of pathetic how she has all this money but can't get a straight guy interested in her veiny ass, so she has to hire gay dudes to pretend. She can't even get a decent golddigger.
I would have a better chance of conceiving and carrying his butt-baby to term than he would trying to have a child with that ghastly, old hag.
That baby would be almost as hot at the three wolf t-shirt.
Almost.
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I don't think this story is true. Even Madonna is not deluded enough to think this is a good idea.
Considering the fact that Jesus is an obvious homosexual it will be a TRUE miracle!
Considering the fact that Jesus is an obvious homosexual it will be a TRUE miracle!
She has Madonnapause.
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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
Madonna is menopausal, she talked about her hormone replacement therapy on Rosie O'Donnel show. Menopausal women don't have periods and don't ovulate, they can't have babies. Maybe she has her eggs frozen in some bank?
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 01/19/2010 - 10:27am.
BTW, I've seen pictures of Jesus and he has one nasty pubic bush -- looks like the fucking dark forest!
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Maybe it reminds Madonna of her own snatch back when she was young.
http://www.christies.com/LotFinder/lot_details.aspx?from=searchresults&i...
"Vadge should just stick to dating babies."
And bathing in their blood in a futile attempt to stave off old age?
This story seems preposterous.
A) Madonna could not get pregnant without IVF and donor eggs. I could understand that if she's dying to get pregnant, but she's addicted to working out and perfectly happy adopting kids, so NO.
B) Jesus wants his own kid? No problem! Inseminate a surrogate and call it a day. The Handmaid's Tale approach.
Absolute stupidity.
51 year olds have no business having babies.
i officially hate post-1990 madonna. she's a selfish bitch.
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Champion fist-pumper and true inventor of the friggin' pouf.
It just occurred to me what a lame ass stunt this is. Barbara is obviously off her game.
♥ Threadkilla!
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. ~ Joseph Heller
Dumbasses.
Time flies when you're a drunken whore.~MK
Three words: Female Athlete Triad. Work out too much and it makes your babymaking bits shut off or get confused.
It's actually possible with IVF. Madonna is merely a kid compared to this lovely (and not at all selfish) young lady...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1243839/Woman-60-oldest-person-g...
Submitted by Bree on Tue, 01/19/2010 - 11:30am.
"But she is Olympic-athlete fit and is ready for the challenge."
Like that has to do with ANYTHING. Twat. It's not about your outsides woman, it's about the insides. And hers just about shriveled up and quit that bitch at that age.
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It's even worse. Female Olympic athletes are not that good at having babies. It comes with the territory.
♥ Threadkilla!
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. ~ Joseph Heller
Jesus is HOT! I wonder how much she pays him to be her "life companion" and where she ordered him from...I want me Brazilian Boy Toy.
OT: The reason why he has his shirt tucked like that is to have Calvin Klein label out ( he's a spokes ho) for exposion.
and if she get preggo ..it would be twins or triplets or sixtuplets
HA! Wouldn't She like to set the bar to all other old hags like JLo
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This is so Barf!
"But she is Olympic-athlete fit and is ready for the challenge."
Like that has to do with ANYTHING. Twat. It's not about your outsides woman, it's about the insides. And hers just about shriveled up and quit that bitch at that age.
Harder? Try impossible. And after a dozen abortions, two risky pregnancies and menopause, she's got less chance of having another kid biologically as Jennifer Anistan does of getting remarried and Tom Cruise of admitting he likes da peen.
What are they gonna name it? Cain? (he was the winner, right?)
♥ Threadkilla!
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. ~ Joseph Heller
isn't there a much greater possibility of having a child with down syndrome when the mother is of an advanced age? isn't that the same for add, adhd, autism and a whole slew of other issues? i find it laughable that she's going to try to conceive "naturally". if she does get pregnant it will be with a litter of 10 ivf puppies.
The more I look at the pic, I think it's Bono in drag. It's the glasses, I know..but still! That is one creepy looking memaw.
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"In olden times we would've thrown people like that off of a cliff, and called it a day."
Submitted by KidL on Tue, 01/19/2010 - 10:57am.
Oh, please! Who is she trying to kid? Her odds of conceiving naturally are silm to none given her age and her low BMI.
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maybe her kaballah friends will help her if she makes a considerable donation
ONE OF LANDWHALES FELLOW LANDWHALE GOT PREGNANT AT 53 AFTER HAVING HER TUBES TIED WHEN SHE WAS 25. HER AND HER HUSBAND WERE FUCKING SHOCKED. BUT MARK MY WORDS MADONNA WILL HAVE TWINS.
Oh, please! Who is she trying to kid? Her odds of conceiving naturally are silm to none given her age and her low BMI.
They don't know what each other wants. They can barely communicate with each other. He might have been asking her for Sugar Babies and she misunderstood.
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
someone he can put the blame on when he poops in the tub during bath time.
- Just choked on my Special K
Submitted by Sexecution on Tue, 01/19/2010 - 10:51am.
She doesn't want kids, she smokes pot all day long, exercises and hangs out when she's not working. Kids take a lot of work and that is why Brad left her in the first place
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Brad...was...with...VADGE?!?!?!
*shocker*
ETA: Oh. You meant Goopy!!!
*resumes breathing normally*
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Bottom-feeder.
Gorge your eyes on Gorgeous Georgina : http://sites.google.com/site/gorgeousgeorginashow/home
She doesn't want kids, she smokes pot all day long, exercises and hangs out when she's not working. Kids take a lot of work and that is why Brad left her in the first place, he wanted a family and she didn't and not everyone does want kids so that's fine. But all these pregnancy stories are just made up crap, she was willing to lose a husband rather than be a mom, no biggy and you certainly shouldn't have kids if you do want them, enough fucked up people as it is, we don't need more of them.
She could get pregnant with donor eggs as long as her uterus is still intact. Bitch won't though, she has had a zillion abortions I'm sure it's all scarred up.
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
Man, I've said it once and I'll say it again: What does she see in that dude? Just look at his face...there ain't nothin' goin' on in that head! Every time I see his face, I giggle...and remember that he has HIS OWN NAME tattooed on his back! In case he gets lost....
Anyway, yeah...even if she hasn't gone through menopause, Madonna surely doesn't have enough body fat to menstruate regularly, as some have already pointed out. What the fuck could she be thinking?
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And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know?
Of course it's utter bullshit.
If any 51 year old could conceive a baby, it would be Madge.
Come at me bitch!
On the other hand Jesus does have a ton of experience changing diapers...hers. ***********************************************************************************************
My first purpose in life is bring joy and comfort to those I love, after that I'm just here to annoy folks.
Just ewwwwwwwww