Coco And The Peacock Are Fucking Done Professionally
The Chin sings! The curtain is about to fall on the long drawn-out melodramatic butt opera starring Conan O'Brien and NBC. The peacock announced this morning that after a long night of negotiations (please, you know they were just passing the bong around), a divorce settlement with Conan has been reached. They will put out an official official statement later on this morning.
According to the New York Times, the agreement is worth $45 million. Conan gave up some of his own severance to his staff. In the end, Conan's checking account will get stuffed with around $32 million. Conan's staff will get the rest.
Per the agreement, Conan can sashay over to a new network in about 8 months. Conan's manager issued a statement to the Wall Street Journal, and said that he can't wait to return to late night:
"Conan was appreciative of the steps NBC made to take care of his staff and crew, and decided to supplement the severance they were getting out of his own pocket. Now he just wants to get back on the air as quickly as possible."
Conan's final song and dance for NBC will be this Friday. After that, Conan will be free to apply a heaping amount of SPF:Infinity onto his nalgas and spend the next few months sunning his shit.
And now, every member of the "I'm With Coco" movement can re-purpose their posters and get behind a REAL cause:
TRUTH!
(CoCo image via Buzzfeed)
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I don't think Conan is done professionaly. Unlike Leno he has more options which is why Leno had to hold on to the Tonight Show. Conan can go into writing and directing shows and movies if he doesn't do another late night show.
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
I think if we're honest, we'll admit that Coco is done professionally anyway. He hasn't been funny in almost 2 years and I hope his pity party goes away soon!
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I don't give a flying fuck about either of them! Now Coco and her humongous butt are another story altogether. That, I am willing to get behind anyday!
"Looks like NBC gets to keep Triumph as a result of this bitter, nasty divorce. If he shows up on Leno, Triumph and I are done professionally."
BWAH! Agreed. i've loved Conan since college (ten years ago now - yikes) and I hope to see him on late night again soon. How can you not root for a guy who not only takes care of his staff but managed to work Abe Vigoda into the show with hilarious results? Remember when he set Abe free in Central Park because Pa said that Conan couldn't take Abe with him when they moved to L.A.? In fact, I hope he's Letterman's guest on March 1st. Make it happen, Universe!
Congratulations S buddy on Thu, 01/21/2010 - 3:10pm.. There's always one strident douche who stinks up the comments of any given web posting by claiming not to care about the subject of the post. Way to add to the conversation. No, truly your ennui has really furthered the dialogue. Bravo.
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If love had a dick I would eff with it. But it doesn't (it has a no crotch like Barbie).
I wish my boss wanted to get rid of me bad enough to pay ME 32 million dollars
you know you're a douche when you can unite Rosie and Howard Stern together in mutual hate of you. I can't wait for Conan to return to the air. I think Leno seriously underestimated how much people hate him, and how hard it will be to book guests now.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Daniel Craig looks like he'd angry sex you into a coma!--astute observation by ISprainedMyUvula
That is one HUGE ass! If Jay Leno does not want children it does not make him an outcast people.
I'm glad that Conan's staff is getting severance. It must be difficult for them to move from New York to Los Angeles and after 7 months find themselves unemployed.
http://www.jamaica-fact-fest.com
Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Thu, 01/21/2010 - 2:12pm.
I actually pity Leno, which is weird. And I don't mean it in a condescending way. I really do pity him or not being able to move on after the Tonight Show, for being so small-minded and hated by folks. His inner life must not be very fulfilling to hang on to such an unfunny gig.
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You are right, Zorba. Jay had 5 years to get something other than The Tonight Show and he did nothing.
He has no children and just that wife. The idea of going home and staying with her must have been horrible for him that he worked hard to push Coco out so he can get his safe little spot back.
All I know is that has made great late night TV.
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There's no crying in butt sex!- Michael K
How about a little perspective.
We are supposed to feel bad for a guy that got demoted when he couldn't perform his job? A guy that got a $30 million+ severance? A guy that looks like an beady-eyed fetal pig(this asshole's lucky he is allowed in public before dark, let alone broadcast across the country),and is no more poised or funny than his first week on-air? We're supposed to feel bad because he uprooted his family (I do feel bad for his staff, but that shit happens in business all the time) to Los Angeles. He's being compensated $30 million to go to Los Angeles, not Af-FUCKING-ghanistan. Anybody here that wouldn't move cross country for that much? He comes off as a cry-baby. He should be on his knees thanking God for winning the lottery.
Show business is a popularity contest, in front of and behind the scenes. Don't blame Jay Leno for this any more than David Letterman not getting the Tonight Show. I'm sure David Letterman was a not well-liked dick, and I'm sure his predilection for interns is in old, open secret that kept him from the mainstream slot.
Confession:I haven't watch the Tonight show in many years, and haven't watched David Letterman since Chris Elliot was a regular, and have only watched Conan O'Brien on occasion to see if that train wreck looked any better. If they all disappeared tomorrow I doubt I'd notice.
coco looks like gwen stefani in that pic (i mean in the face of course!)
I think this is the best thing that could happen to Conan frankly. He wasn't doing too well on the Tonight Show. His humor just wasn't for the middle aged crowd who watch the show. Now he's got a following and will probably do better on late, late night.
I actually pity Leno, which is weird. And I don't mean it in a condescending way. I really do pity him or not being able to move on after the Tonight Show, for being so small-minded and hated by folks. His inner life must not be very fulfilling to hang on to such an unfunny gig.
Looks like NBC gets to keep Triumph as a result of this bitter, nasty divorce. If he shows up on Leno, Triumph and I are done professionally.
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"The Count on Sesame Street is scarier and more captivating than those preening whack vamps from Twilight." DListed user Master Blaster 6/09/09 (So true!)
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Yes - I have to say that "I'm with Coco" would have been a MUCH better campaign if he was actually WITH Coco at the time. I bet he would have won then.
♥ Threadkilla!
The Stains Movie! ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hC03__ow-aQ
Submitted by Miss Thang on Thu, 01/21/2010 - 12:05pm.
oh my god.. her ass actually took my breath away.
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OMFG she made me heart jump!
oh my god.. her ass actually took my breath away.
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I like living this way. I like loving this way.
Scaa-REW Leno. Cone Zone FTW.
Submitted by Soultonic on Thu, 01/21/2010 - 11:14am.
Yeah, but keep in mind in 2004 NBC asked Leno when he thought that he was ready to retire from the Late Show and Leno said 2009. And for 5 more years Conan patiently waited for his shot. NBC offered Leno 10 pm because they were pulling the "it's this economy" card and wanted to cut back on production costs. Leno was the one who said yes to having the 10 pm spot and Leno was also the one who said yes to getting the Tonight show back. So sure, NBC's one big giant multicolored pea(COCK) for dicking them around, but Jay's just as bad for not sticking to his word.
Face it, at the end of the day you can't help but root for Conan because he looked out for his staff, the ones that were hurt most by this fuck up. They don't have Leno or Conan money. They broke their leases and sold their homes to relocate with Conan and now they're all out of job in a land where every waitress and valet is still waiting on their big break.
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"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." [Mrs. Kravitz of dlisted.com]
I will continue to blame this whole mess on Jay Leno. Shame, shame on him and his ego.
I wish the best of luck to Conan and his group and hope they can find a good place to do their thing.
I don't feel pity for Conan, but I do have sympathy. I hate when people say that you can't feel bad for someone who is rich.
I am sure Conan has worked hard and took a lot of risks to get where he is. Most people are not willing to do that or don't have the talent, so they don't get paid like that. He is not Paris Hilton where this shit just fell on his lap. I can appreciate how shitty it must be to work so hard for a very specific dream only to have it snatched away like that. He clearly could quit whenever he wanted to. I am sure he is rich enough to not have to work on tv again. So my assumption is he genuinely loved his job and it sucks to lose that.
No it is not tragic, compared to other things, but that doesn't mean it still doesn't suck a little!
Glad he made sure the writers got paid.
http://www.toptwitsblog.com/search/label/Conan
http://www.TopTwitsBlog.com
All of the best celebrity tweets in one sarcastic package.
Submitted by Mopa on Thu, 01/21/2010 - 8:57am.
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hilarious!!! thank you, i needed that this morning.
great writing, conan's staff - enjoy your vacation!
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Danny: [slaps Bandy]
Archie: No, no, no, NO. Come on, do it properly with the back of the right hand.
DON'T WATCH NBC...TEAM COCO
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Hollywood Gossips
Anyone who felt sorry for Coco can now suck a lollipop without any worries..he is getting a million dollar orgasm that most of us will never know in our lifetime.
At the end, this is all NBC's fault. When Jay's contract was up, NBC decided to give the Late Night Show spot to Conan; the younger fresher face and at the end it bombed.
For all of you that really don't know the specifics, Jay Leno didn't voluntarily decide to leave the Tonight Show but it was mostly the doing of NBC. They tried fixing something that wasn't broken. Morons.
It makes you wonder if Jay will be pulling in the same numbers as before. This incident has left a lot of viewers with a bad taste in their mouth.
Good, now NBC can continue focusing on the non-stop ASS SUCKING of the White House.
Yeah, I went there.
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"No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain't shit makes you an idiot, not an optimist." ShitMyDadSays on Facebook
Ever since I saw the pic of Coco lifting weights in lucite heels, I can't help but think Sauna Sand on steroids every time I see her now.
Praise Shauna, the true Empress of Lucite!!!
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Max-Arthur and Sharky for Hot Sluts of the Millenium!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vf9wHkkNGUU
Dayum!! Even Satan is pi$$ed at Leno.
http://www.usmagazine.com/celebritynews/news/rosie-odonnell-jay-leno-is-...
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Max-Arthur and Sharky for Hot Sluts of the Millenium!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vf9wHkkNGUU
Well, as The Head Nun says, "When god closes a door, she opens a window."
Jay can stay where he is and stagnate. Conan and his gang will find something better.
I got to get that poster!!!!!
Make it happen Michael K!
I'd pay good money. *LOL*
NBC did the wrong thing with Conan and with Jay Leno.
First off, they should have given Conan a chance to build an audience. They should have told the affiliates to shut the fuck up!!!
They could have kept Leno for 2-3 days a week and then put dramas on the other days. Lord knows there was like 3 Datelines a week.
But they had to pay through the nose to have Conan trash them like the a-holes they are.
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There's no crying in butt sex!- Michael K
they're all making millions anyway, so it's hard to really feel bad for anybody involved.
but Conan has said it was his childhood dream to host the Tonight Show, so in that sense, yeah I feel some sympathy that his dreams were pretty much crushed by Leno/NBC.
Conan shows what class he has. I hope he gets another gig elsewhere.
As for Coco, always a woman with style,grace, class and the biggest ass this side of the Universe.
Conan seems like a real nice guy - a class act for giving so much of his severance to his employees. And now Karma is smiling on him. He gets $32 million AND gets to take the next 8 months off! I could live with that!
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
I feel so badly for Conan.
He worked so hard his whole life to be the host of Tonight, he waited patiently, did a great job on Late Night, Lamo knew the deal for YEARS.
NBC gave Conan a ton of time to get his ratings up when he got Late Night, AND HE DID. This is just not fair.
Jeff Zucker is the biggest douche on the planet. I love the way that great people are dropping like flies from cancer, and he recovers.
Much like various druggies croaking while Wino and Hohan continue to walk the earth.
It's almost like this whole thing was planned in advance and the only person not in on it was Conan.
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
Submitted by thegobbler on Thu, 01/21/2010 - 9:53am.
You can tell a lot about a person from how he/she treats staff/servers/sales clerks, etc. Classy Conan.
I agree 200%. NBC tried to say it was a PR ploy for him to ask for $$ for his staff, but he was one of the few who paid his writers through the strike out of his own pocket. That's why I used to love reading those stories on bitterwaitress.com to see which celebs were truly shitbags for real. Too bad there's not a gossip section on the new site anymore. :(
"Submitted by louise_brooks on Thu, 01/21/2010 - 9:38am.
Submitted by Mopa on Thu, 01/21/2010 - 8:57am.
I love that video! He can't even stop himself from laughing. "That's the last time he'll ever see female genitalia."
I'm guessing that Triumph comes back in some other form."
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I can watch that video a thousand times and still laugh just as hard each time. It's really a shame that he can't take such characters with him. I'm sure Robert Smigel (the voice and hand up Triumph's butt) will think up something else for Conan. That is, of course, unless Robert Smigel has some sort of exclusivity thing with NBC that he can't do another network. Smigel also does those funny cartoons on SNL.
Conan is a class act-during the writer's strike he (as well as David Letterman) continued to pay his staff out of his own pocket. Jay Leno didn't until he was pressured into it. Again he's making sure his staff is taken care of-which is more reason to like the guy.
I can only hope people refuse to do the Tonight Show after Leno takes over again. And I also hope Conan is able to find another late night home.
♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦
www.peaceloveandlather.com
You can tell a lot about a person from how he/she treats staff/servers/sales clerks, etc. Classy Conan.
"You still owe me $1200, shetbag"
Cat-loving, Walmart-shopping, trailer-living, fag-hagging new dlisted member at your service!
Thanks for that other Coco poster MK. I really didn't need the cookies I had for breakfast anyway.
*barfs*
On another note: Conan just got a lottery sized severance package the could keep his family comfortable for 10 generations.
Hope the wife gives Conan an extra special blowjob tonight.
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I'm a bilingual illiterate...I can't read in 2 languages. - Pet Shop Boys
Ratings for his show are up 50%.
I have been watching to see his monologues regarding the NBC shitfest and the special drop in guests.
TEAM CONANDO!!!
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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/21/2010 - 9:24am.
LOOOOOZER! xoxoxooxoxox
Snowy Darling!!
What I want, you've got
And it might be hard to handle
But like the flame that burns the candle
The candle feeds the flame
What I've got's full stock of thoughts
and dreams that scatter
You pull them all together
And how, I can't explain
But You make my dreams come true
On a night when bad dreams become a screamer
When they're messin' with the dreamer
I can laugh it in the face
Twist and shout my way out
And wrape yourself around me
'Cause I ain't the way that you found me
I'll never be the same
'Cause You make my dreams come true
I'm down on the daydream
That sleepwalk should be over by now
I know that You make my dreams come true"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XymRqHp0Egw&feature=related
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When I find a new man, that I want for mine
He always breaks my heart into, it happens every time. Oh, I've been cheated, been mistreated,
When will I be loved?
hey it smells like ass in here ::hands Coco and baby wipe::
I don't give 2 shits...just a bunch of ppl with more money than I'll ever see. Hope they choke on it!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"Sam put drugs in Britney's biscuits"
http://www.ilads.org/
Submitted by Mopa on Thu, 01/21/2010 - 8:57am.
I love that video! He can't even stop himself from laughing. "That's the last time he'll ever see female genitalia."
I'm guessing that Triumph comes back in some other form.
Conan is a class act. I hope NBC doesn't make him abandon his original characters (especially TRIUMPH!), but I have a feeling they will.
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"No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart"
her ass looks like it needs a bath
I hope Jay Lamo tanks.
His audience falls asleep after the early bird special.
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
jay leno is a dick
LOOOOOZER! xoxoxooxoxox LOL SPF ahahahahaha
OMG I an so over this shit, I never cared in the first place
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
Mornin'. http://failblog.org/2010/01/20/rickrolld-win/#comments ***********************************************************************************************
My first purpose in life is bring joy and comfort to those I love, after that I'm just here to annoy folks.