LeAnn & Dean: The Remake
Somebody get the Geek Squad on the phone, because my Gaydar just put its hand on its forehead and passed the hell out all dramatic-like. It got the vapors. The reason? According to People, Tara Reid has signed up for her next role....as this tangy wienerschnitzel's beard.
Since her engagement to a faux blind dude didn't really pan out, Tara figured she would take a page out of Star Jones' playbook.
Tara's rep (aka Tara using a voice modifier) called People up and confirmed that she is engaged to German gay porn internet entrepreneur Michael Axtmann (that's "Michael Assmann" if you're always first in line at the salad bar). Tara's rep went on to say, "Michael surprised Tara with a beautiful round brilliant cut ring. ara was so happy, and the other patrons clapped and yelled out, 'Congratulations.'"
Tara and Assman began dating last year. They're planning on getting married in a small ceremony this Summer.
Let me step out of the shade for a minute, and say that this is good for Tara. She needs a main gay in her life to tell her the truth (i.e. her weave is parched and her stomach looks like 4-week-old chicken parm). AND Assman obviously threads his eyebrows as often as he bleaches his glitter hole, so he is an excellent choice for Tara.
• 
He looks like Elizabeth Hassleback (or whoever her name is on the view)
I actually met the guys a couple of times, since they're always partying in the city where I live (Nuremberg) and he is sooooo fucking gay, I was hanging out with my really hot straight bf, and Assman could not stop staring at him, trying to be all discrete and shit, but it was so obvious.
Submitted by shandi on Thu, 01/21/2010 - 10:14pm.
I was typing up a list of names today for my boss, and one of the women's last names was actually ASSMANN! I would change my name.
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Haha! Not me! :D
♥ Threadkilla!
The Stains Movie! ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hC03__ow-aQ
I was typing up a list of names today for my boss, and one of the women's last names was actually ASSMANN! I would change my name.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
What a joke!
http://lh3.ggpht.com/_ydmpYamRZ-o/SohFh1GLtrI/AAAAAAAAVvE/zNSQAYIo2Qk/s6...
How many times has this dumb, used up whore been engaged? The fact that she’s been engaged MULTIPLE times and never made it down the aisle should be a big red flag to each new fuck o’ the week.
I’m not sure who has been engaged more: Tara “Frankentitties” Reid or Jennifer Love “Saggentitties” Hewitt.
It's pretty embarrassing that Carson Daly was the peak of her engagements.
That's a guy? He makes SamMan look femme.
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Champion fist-pumper and true inventor of the friggin' pouf.
Submitted by salacious on Thu, 01/21/2010 - 2:51pm.
Don't tell me you find Ronaldo to be more masculine than this dude, or do you?
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No. I find him gayer than Ronaldo! HA!
*wonders if we are looking at the same man*
To be fair he is foreign, as is Ronaldo, and it is alot harder to decide what is masculine with such men.
I am from Oklahoma so masculine is ummmm, different here. Both Ronaldo and Assman would be hanging by their panties from a pickup truck antenna in my neck of the woods.HA! I would gently remove them of course and take them to lunch.
Time flies when you're a drunken whore.~MK
@ urmomma
It's true, it's only one photo, but aside the plucked eyebrows, waxed chest and a possible manicure, you're right on a few things... he doesn't have diamond studs and is not tanorexic.
Don't tell me you find Ronaldo to be more masculine than this dude, or do you?
Submitted by salacious on Thu, 01/21/2010 - 2:11pm
*takes off glasses, cleans them and hands them to salacious*
Are you sure you want to compare this lil' guy to Christiano Ronaldo? ;)
ahahahahahaha!
Time flies when you're a drunken whore.~MK
@ urmomma
I don't go with the gaydar shit either, and LOL, I rather say everybody is heteroflexible at some point in their lives.
Anyways, his looks says nothing. To me, he doesn't look any different than Cristiano Ronaldo does.
At first glance, I thought that
was a photo of Sam Ronson and Lilo.
I usually don't with the "he is gay, he is not gay" because I think everyone is kinda gay.
But this MF right here, if he ain't gay, then none of us are, including MK.
*snickers at S&F: IS THAT A FUCKING ASCOT?*
Time flies when you're a drunken whore.~MK
They look like brother and sister. Ugh.
♥ Threadkilla!
The Stains Movie! ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hC03__ow-aQ
Submitted by Plecostomus on Thu, 01/21/2010 - 10:43am.
Who are these nobodies?
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LOL! That should be your new siggy. It goes so PERFECTLY with your avvie;)
♥ Threadkilla!
The Stains Movie! ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hC03__ow-aQ
Submitted by Raniya on Thu, 01/21/2010 - 10:45am.
So her ex was not really blind? fuck all this time I thought he really was..
ahahahhahahaahah that day was so funny!!!!!!!!!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
@ Plecco
Your avatar needs to be hot slut of the day. Priceless.
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If Shia LaBeouf and a gay-faced bobcat from the 1980s had a meth baby..... Stun. Ning.
Uh yeah, he definitely seems like he's gay, or at least looks it. His brow situation is just too clean. At least Tara will have some stability in her life. Yeahhh....
"When dick is rancid, you know as soon as you pull the fly down. Seriously, you can smell it right away. It's like a week-old grilled cheese sandwich lying on a hot subway seat in the middle of August."
Rhoda probably she'll wear a sort of sickly yellowish brown dress with putrid green spots.
Is it just me or do they look a whole fucking lot alike in that pic? Creepy.
I wonder what color her wedding dress is going to be? Since there is no doubt that her body is going to reject a white dress.
She wears the lederhosen in the family...
Pugs 4evah! Proof that facelifts are the devil, and little wrinkly happy faces are awesome.
As for Tara, mebbe this is a marriage of convenience. He fixes her up and tries to make her presentable, and she gets to pretend that a guy actually wants to marry and sleep with her (since straight dudes with any taste would probably saw off their penis witha spoon after they did her, she's gotta fake it with a gay).
"...my Gaydar just put its hand on its forehead and passed the hell out all dramatic-like. It got the vapors."
LMFAO! Genius!
Submitted by NoAnjl on Thu, 01/21/2010 - 11:05am.
Submitted by Centaurious on Thu, 01/21/2010 - 10:47am.
And I know your pooch looks much cuter! ;)
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Yeah. His face looks like her stomach.
(He's a pug.)
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
Pleco, Who are these nobodies?
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"Sittin' in a restaurant she walked by
I seemed to recall that certain look in your eye
I asked "who's that?" you said with a smile:
"Oh it's Nobody... Nobody."
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
Pleco's avatar made me laugh for like 30 minutes.
This could be LeAnn and Dean 2.0, except Tara don't have no money!
There is no way in hell that guy is ever going down on Tara. Ever.
Too funny.
Pleco - your avie is the BEST!
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"No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart"
Nice scarf, fairy.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
ahahahaha! MK you're on a roll today!!
Tara's face, keeps changing by the second.
Coma Caca!
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don't knock marrying a gay.. companionship, gossiping and shopping plus you can 'step out' every once in while when the mood hits you. Call me crazy but it sounds like the poifect marriage to me. ; )
BamBam and yepyep: You are both right. I stand corrected.
I guess I am just hating on Tara's fiancee (typo but it stays) fab eyebrows when mine are looking like caterpillars.
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Never envy big shots.. Big shots are just small shots who kept shooting
Submitted by Centaurious on Thu, 01/21/2010 - 10:47am.
And I know your pooch looks much cuter! ;)
That's not Dean Sheremet?
I still think she would be a shitload of fun hammered off her ass at Waffle House at 3:00 am. ***********************************************************************************************
My first purpose in life is bring joy and comfort to those I love, after that I'm just here to annoy folks.
This bitch is just pathetic. She and Heidi Montag are the absolute worst. Speaking of which, Heidi's craptastic CD only sold 650 copies in it's debut week. My faith in American society has been restored because no one bought into the publicity and bought the dumb cunt's CD.
Raul, I think she had them redone, but not sure if they're "really" fixed.
Submitted by Plecostomus
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OMG! This avie is awesome! I like 'em all but this one...
Bronson Pinchot is desperate for attention again.
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
y borg queen on Thu, 01/21/2010 - 10:52am.
I am so sorry but a guy that waxes his eyebrows that perfectly is a "sister". The only man that can wax his eyebrows and still be butch is Billy Zane. He has a fierce unibrow if he doesnt wax. So Billy gets a pass.
you will be surprised how many straight guys wax or tread their eyebrows
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
Submitted by borg queen on Thu, 01/21/2010 - 10:52am.
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What about Colin Farrell? He too is from the land of the 'Brow. Bigtime.
They can share brow tweezers and bronzer...*sigh* How romantic!
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And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know?
Thanks Axtmann. You have cured me of my ascot fetish. Although my knees still go weak for Freddie.
http://www.vectorjunky.com/gallery/s/Scooby-Doo-FRED001.jpg
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When I find a new man, that I want for mine
He always breaks my heart into, it happens every time. Oh, I've been cheated, been mistreated,
When will I be loved?
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 01/21/2010 - 10:46am.
Of course she's engaged to a chick, no real man would touch her frankentitties!
Do they still look like doggy chew toys or did she get 'em retreaded? ***********************************************************************************************
My first purpose in life is bring joy and comfort to those I love, after that I'm just here to annoy folks.
I am so sorry but a guy that waxes his eyebrows that perfectly is a "sister". The only man that can wax his eyebrows and still be butch is Billy Zane. He has a fierce unibrow if he doesnt wax. So Billy gets a pass.
TEAM GEORGE LOPEZ - F*ck Erik Estrada.
I saw this story earlier on ONTD and my first thought was Dean Sheremet Version 2.0 as well
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Shiitake happens...
She's sporting the same bandana and harness I just bought for my dog.
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
Possibly the best effing line EVER..."Somebody get the Geek Squad on the phone, because my Gaydar just put its hand on its forehead and passed the hell out all dramatic-like." BWAHAHAHHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"Sam put drugs in Britney's biscuits"
http://www.ilads.org/
Of course she's engaged to a chick, no real man would touch her frankentitties!
Time for you to come clean, MK. Michael Axtmann is really you, isn't he? Can I expect Tara to be sporting lucite heels soon??
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ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ