Tuesday, January 26th 2010
Hot Slut Of The Day!
Rachel Coleman from the Food Network's Worst Cooks in America
As soon as I laid eyes on Rachel Coleman's picture, flashes of Velma from Scooby Doo, Betty La Fea, Agnes from from Moonlighting and Wiener Dog flew at me in a matter of seconds. To be able to bring that out in a bitch is a gift.
Below is Rachel demonstrating why she's one of America's shittiest cooks. I must be one of America's shittiest eaters (that came out the wrong hole), because I would devour Rachel's nasty macaroni and cheese in a quick minute.
(For Kimberly)
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Those glasses are straight out of 1985. And not in a cool-retro way, although she probably thinks they are.
How did a show with this name get on the air without my sister being included?
Yeah, I'm skeptical of this girl, too. The 23 years old thing killed me? Really? She looks 43 if she looks a day!
Submitted by M.E.: "HTF can you be a mother and NOT KNOW HOW TO COOK!?!?!?"
M.E., I know plenty of women who brag "The only thing I know how to make is reservations, HA HA HA!" like it's something to be proud of. Apparently it's some kind of status thing that you can afford to have someone else cook and clean and take care of your kids for you. At least in NYC.
Their kids eat pretty well, actually. Lots of prepared foods, but from nice places like Dean and Deluca and Zabar's.
These women feel sorry for me. I feel sorry for them. To me, a good healthy meal is an expression of love, and if I had a ton of money, I'd still cook every meal for my family.
Rant over.
I keep forgetting to watch this show! I saw the first ep and it was so funny! (I can't believe they didn't choose to keep the man who boiled a whole chicken).
It would not be a surprise if this sneaky little crap winds up on ANOTHER show, getting a "makeover". (Like "What Not To Wear", which has gotten almost too gimmicky for my taste. Almost.)
We haven't seen the last of her, I predict.
Someone get me some tweezers and wax, STAT!
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 01/26/2010 - 11:04am
And one of the contestants is a wife and MOTHER. HTF can you be a mother and NOT KNOW HOW TO COOK!?!?!?
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The poor kids probably have to eat nothing but fast food. Unless the dad can cook.
This chick needs an extreme makeover, like yesterday!
Somebody get her a condom for that nose!
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I WON'T DO THAT
I think she's cute as can be. I'm rooting for her on the show.
Hahaha, I immediately thought Dawn Wiener! Gotta watch that movie again, it's been way too long.
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"If anyone needs me I'll be in the Angry Dome!" — Professor Farnsworth
She's 23 but looks like a 40-year old nerd.
Gotta give her credit for having the stones to rock the short bus look on national television...
She needs to get some old school heavy duty braces to finish that look.
She's 23 and looks like that!!! Poor baby. This is gunna sound gross, but the best quick fix meal I know how to make are some chicken ramen noodles with a slice of cheese mixed in and doused with rooster sauce. Sounds nasty but Delicious!
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 01/26/2010 - 9:41am.
meh, give the lady a break... at least she's trying. I'd hit it.
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aye Jack *shakes head*
...and she already has "Hot Slut Of The Day" posted on her Facebook, lol
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On Angelina Jolie... If I want something with a big shiny forehead and throbbing vein, I'll play with my pecker...
jazzfish_77
Add in a little Chilindrina http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_FDY0Yz95g3Q/RkTSXnM9dsI/AAAAAAAAAFw/DrLps__Pup... and that makes the perfect recipe for Rachel Coleman.
thanks loozer ole pal... and I call her Jackie-DOH!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
Her specs have no lenses....
Thanks Jack
We need a name for Jack's daughter. Jackette? Jackalina? Anywho, I googled convents in Arkansas for ya Jackie!
http://www.encyclopediaofarkansas.net/encyclopedia/entry-detail.aspx?ent...
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You smiled, you smiled,Oh and then the spell was cast and here we are in heaven for you are mine....At Last
I watched the newest episode last night. I am amazed at how stupid these bitches are, can't tell the difference between a tablespoon and a teaspoon, etc.
And one of the contestants is a wife and MOTHER. HTF can you be a mother and NOT KNOW HOW TO COOK!?!?!?
I agree, she doesn't look "real" somehow. It looks more like a low-rent replica of an 80's teen B-movie than someone that lives and breathes in 2010. I know "hipsters" today are all about recycling the most ridiculous pieces of clothing unimaginable, but still she comes across as something staged and calculated.
And I can't believe she can't cook for shit. There are shitloads of video sites out there with tutorials on how to cook, from a simple sugar cookie to fancy roasted meat. Boooyah!.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
http://www.facebook.com/popjew
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
I'm half awake and can't think of a way to put this that doesn't sound dumb so here it goes... I read on Food Network Humor they were all actors. Rachel has a blog called popjew and from there you can find a very normal facebook picture.
She thinks its: "Pretty unacceptable" that she can't feed herself but first she needs to learn to dress herself, baby steps. Seriously I have a blind grandmother that dresses better than this scag.
*calls Jacko's dad to tell on him* maybe he will be grounded too, LOLOLOLOL
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
lol gobbler... only if she raosted my weiner in a skillet first...
AND SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH SNOWY!
*abnoxiously clears throat*
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
Aaaww, shit on a stick, Canadians aren't allowed to watch the vid. Booo.
@Jack-you would really hit that? *hugs self gleefully as chances w/Jack improve...*
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"gobble a bowl of dicks" submitted by HOTNEY
yes, if you are such a fucking perfectionist why would you look like that? Learn to dress before you learn to cook, fake`o
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
Those glasses aren't even real. You can always tell if an actor is wearing fake glasses, because the side of their face isn't distorted when seen through the lenses. If glasses are real, there is distortion.
I want to slap this dumb cow and her fake schtick.
Submitted by Anonymous Crab on Tue, 01/26/2010 - 10:29am.
I call bullshit on this. This woman seems to be putting on an act...
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I agree. She appears to be wearing a costume.
i agree, crab. she's a put on.
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The McCanns Did It
I call bullshit on this. This woman seems to be putting on an act. There is no way someone her age, living in Brooklyn, with a totally normal-looking friend and with such a self-consciously granny-ish look (everything precisely chosen to maker her look frumpy) is not being at least a bit deceptive about who she is and what her abilities are. She didn't do anything in that video that revealed her real cooking skills -- she just poked at some hotdogs in a pan and talked about how maniacally ambitious she is. I have seen a couple other clips from this show and in contrast, they involved people who truly appeared to not know what they are doing with food -- people who don't even know how to crack an egg, that sort of thing. I think this woman does know more than she lets on and she's trying to hide it under her Ugly Betty glasses so she can win whatever this pathetic contest is by appearing to make more progress than the others.
is she trying to become a real "ugly Betty"? She reminds me of that show so much by her style. I think I cook the same way she does though. open up a can of wolf chili to go with those hot dogs and you would have some fine dining ya'll.
she looks a little downsy to me
anyways no one can beat my mom in bad cooking
(she has actually managed to make green eggs and meat together)
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
This poor soul needs a makeover instead of cooking lessons. The hair, the glasses, the middle school blouse wardrobe. If your gonna have a slut cook look up some of the Dlisters.....at least we have "Style".
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
She also reminds me of the mom on Better Off Dead, she couldn't cook either. Anyone remember that green blob she cooked with raisins and it moved across the table? Ahahahaha
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"No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain't shit makes you an idiot, not an optimist." ShitMyDadSays on Facebook
meh, give the lady a break... at least she's trying. I'd hit it.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
I never thought anyone was worse at cooking than I am until I met my friend who used to stab a fork through a steak and lower it into a toaster to cook it.
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"No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain't shit makes you an idiot, not an optimist." ShitMyDadSays on Facebook
Nice grandpa 'vintage' sweaters on the wannabe hipster. She's grating and the faux cutesie I'm So Quirky thing falls short. Fail
But she'll be another random nobody who shows up at premiers in 3...2...1....
You didn't include Lisa Loeb in your nerd girl list, MK. This is one Food Network show that I have missed.
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You smiled, you smiled,Oh and then the spell was cast and here we are in heaven for you are mine....At Last
Fried weiners are actually really good.
.
.
I like her, actually...I kinda like everyone on that show. Weird, I feel dirty.
Morning sluts!
Holy God! Who dresses this idiot? Shes not an "awesome" dresser.
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
I had glasses like that back in my junior high days! I love her just for those glasses alone.