I Haz Babeh
A few weeks ago, Tila Malt Liquor announced that she was knocked up with her brother and his wife's fetus. A quick second later, Tila took it all back and said she was "trying" to get pregnant but wasn't yet. Well, it looks like Tila 40oz is pregnant with another WOLF.
Tila MD-2o crawled up to her booster seat, hit her CAPS-LOCK key and pounded out this message on her blog last night:
THE BIG NEWS EVERYONE: TILA TEQUILA IS OFFICALLY PREGNANT, 100% CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! & THIS BABY WAS NO "ACCIDENT" EITHER!!!!!!!!IT IS A TRULY TOUCHING STORY THAT I WILL TELL YOU ONE DAY......BUT I GOT PREGNANT FOR CASEY! BECAUSE SHE WATED TO START A FAMILY AND SINCE SHE ALREADY HAD AN ADOPTED DAUGHTER, SHE WANTED ME TO BECOME THE PREGNANT ONE!!!!!!!!!! BUT NOW THAT SHE IS GONE.... A NEW LIFE IS BORN AND I KNOW HER SPIRITS ARE IN MY BEAUTIFUL MIRACLE BABY GROWING INSIDE OF ME RIGHT NOW! I AM SO HAPPY! MY LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE BIGTIME! I AM GOING TO BE A MOTHER AND I CANNOT WAIT! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR SUCH A LONG TIME! AND NOW, MY BABY JAYDEN, HAS FINALLY COME BACK TO MOMMY!
NEVER FEAR THO, THAT DOES NOT MEAN I STILL WON'T HAVE A LOUD MOUTH BUSTIN A CAP ON BITCHES WHO TALK SHIT ABOUT ME! LMAO....I WILL ALWAYS BE THE SAME GIRL....THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS NOW....I AM GOING TO HAVE A BABY AND WILL BE A FANTASTIC MOTHER! AS FAR AS TILA TEQUILA, OH DON'T WORRY, SHE WILL STILL BE AROUND TO MAKE YOU LAUGH AND DO CRAZY THINGS...BUT WOW I CANNOT BELIEVE I JUST TOLD THE WORLD MY SECRET!!!!!!!! TILA TEQUILA IS PREGNANT! I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE WANT TO ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS BUT LETS TAKE IT SLOW HERE. I DONT WANT TO GET OVERWHELMED NOR EXPLOIT MY CHILD AND WHO THE FATHERS CHILD IS. FOR NOW, I AM PREGNANT AND THAT IS ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU GOD! YOU TOOK AWAY THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, BUT GAVE ME SOMETHING EVEN BETTER, A NEW LIFE THAT I BROUGHT INTO THIS WORLD!!! THANK YOU!
Kanye West is down at the courts right now filing a copyright infringement lawsuit against Tila. And he's also trying to get a restraining order on behalf of her CAPS LOCK key. CAPS LOCK ABUSE!
TMZ is hearing that Tila has ultrasound scans to prove that she's really pregnant this time. Tila has put the scans on the auction block and will sell them to the highest bidder.
Fuck the ultrasound scans! Let's gaze into the crystal ball to see footage from the actual birth of Tila's miracle baby:
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Wow and here i thought who can i possibly loathe more then courtney love.The spaceballs alien...uncanny!!!That kid will be so poud when it watches that tampon video from its whore of a mother.
I thought STDs make you infertile? She has them all, plus some homebrewed new mutations, come on world/nature wtf.
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
Every other word out of this chicks mouth is a lie, god when your PR person fires you - paid liars you really do have a problem with the truth. Notice no one has picked up her PR duties either and no one is going to try to fix this bitch up. Have no fear, nothing could live in that infected womb of hers, she probably just lost a joint up in there.
Ugh, she's in business with Joe Francis the rapist, so you know she's pure class.
I'll admit, I'm not wasting my energy to try to figure this one out...but it seems like the timing is off. Unless she got pregnant before Casey died. Either way she's a filthy whore.
Submitted by LunaChick on Tue, 01/26/2010 - 2:43pm.
Another lie - in a few weeks she'll say she had a "miscarriage" and pretend to be upset. I hate this POS little twat.
I was just at the doctor with my friend, yesterday, when she was told she lost her baby. It was heartbreaking, to see one of the strongest women I know break down.
Yet there are people like Shauna Sand (and, if this is true, Tila) who don't deserve to be mothers.
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My best friend just had a miscarriage, too.
It was probably the hardest thing she ever had to do, to tell her friends and family that her baby had no bones or heartbeat..
but this bitch is going to fake the whole thing just for fame and attention.. There is something seriously wrong with her.
By the way, MK, love the little Spaceballs callout. Mel Brooks was a god from the comedy heavens back in the 80's
@ _Meh_ _ I agree - pregnant or not she *should* be punched in the face really hard - with a fucking HORSESHOE! I HATE HATE HATE this disgusting piece of desperate trash - lessee in 3 months she'll be posting about her tragic "miscarrage". Put her down like a lame dog and move on already! yeesh!
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"UPDATE! No-one gives a shit!"
~~Tourettes Guy
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So fucking wrong of me to wish that a pregnant woman be punched in the face really really hard.
I hate it when people refer to having kids as a "miracle". There are millions of kids born every day and there's nothing miraculous about it.
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Welcome to Costco. I love you.
Does Tila Tequila have breast implants? I didn't see her name on MakeMeHeal's Celebrities With Breast Implants page. Either way, don't care.
I first saw her on Stuff magazine, and I thought she had a really cute face. Now I know more about her, and she turns out to be worse than Megan Fox or Heidi Montag. Ouch, the life of a celebrity.
Someone needs to be bustin a cap on this bitch.
Someone needs to deliver a Hoover to her house with a note attached that says, "No. Just No."
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Beware, the maniacal weilder, of commas!
Wasn't she supposed to give that behbeh to her brother?
♥ Threadkilla!
The Stains Movie! ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hC03__ow-aQ
GOOD.GRIEF.
That dancing alien is spot on
puurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,
moosh
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Tila tequila - the poster child for mandatory state enforced sterilization.
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
I hope Tila dies during a long, painful, childbirth, if there is even a child.
Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Tue, 01/26/2010 - 1:29pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 01/26/2010 - 11:41am.
Can you imagine what baby name this cunt will come up with?
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Olive Ulong Thyme
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She'd have to hyphenate that with "Aslong Asu Payme".
(BTW-- yours was the funniest comment I've read in quite some time-- that was perfect).
If there is a God, this chick will not be a mother. Hopefully this is just another stunt by her to get in the spotlight.
Why is this bitch still clinging tenaciously to life?
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Bottom-feeder.
Gorge your eyes on Gorgeous Georgina : http://sites.google.com/site/gorgeousgeorginashow/home
Holy shit! I knew this chick was fucked up but I just read her twitter posts and she's way beyond disturbed. She makes Courtney Love and Blohan look sane. She keeps on saying how she's not going to post as much and then keeps posting or says she wants her privacy but goes on to give tmi. She's delusional and a creepy psycho. I really hope she's not preggers.
Submitted by Zedrie: "... either you are at least a halfway decent mother OR you are the whole person you were before the baby. You don't get to be both, you never fucking EVER get to be both."
Now THOSE are some true words.
It's like her parents never paid attention to her or hugged her when she was a kid, I don't know. With this girl you don't even know where to begin explaining her.
Tila has some serious mental disorder and I've always thought this about her. She just seems so dysfunctional and a mess all the time.
She is nuts.
Tequila is a famewhoring twit
I can't stand this bitch one bit
Now she says there's a baby
I call bullshit, not maybe
Can anyone contract a hit?
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"Owww! My eye!"
Another lie - in a few weeks she'll say she had a "miscarriage" and pretend to be upset. I hate this POS little twat.
I was just at the doctor with my friend, yesterday, when she was told she lost her baby. It was heartbreaking, to see one of the strongest women I know break down.
Yet there are people like Shauna Sand (and, if this is true, Tila) who don't deserve to be mothers.
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"...We don't exist for the beautiful people of the world...We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"
MK needs to tag this with one of his best: "CPS Is On Line One"
I wish people would stop naming their kids Jayden, Jaden, whatever. Kaden, Braedon, Aiden, Sayden. Why do people have the need to name all their kids the same names? I am seriously asking a question here, and I demand a response!
Meatloaf--ha ha ha It would be awsome to hear her blog read by a serious British actor.
Would somebody PLEASE set this rank bitch on fire?!
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Ever see a man's stump? Guy's like, "Go on, man. I want you to know how it feels. Touch it. Touch my stump." Disgusting! So don't tell us that Bucky Haight wasn't shot, 'cause we were there. We touched his stump."
-"Its a touching story I will tell you one day...oops, right now."
This woman exhibits all of the careless behavior of a drug addict. Did she not notice Casey's kid had been taken away from her?
I think California needs to post Childrens Services at the entrance of this crazy bitch's vagina.
Submitted by Rdeadline on Tue, 01/26/2010 - 1:49pm.
Jayden is the baby she lost when her boyfriend hit her in the stumic with a hammer and "chunks my baby" she lost it. She named it Jayden. Read her blog it's gold.
That does sound amusing...I'll check it out if it's ever book-to-tape-d.
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I WON'T DO THAT
*yawn*
Enough Tila.
www.vivaswag.com
www.thatssoswag.com
this bitch is truly disgusting...I mean completely disgusting as a human being...and a waste of space for anyone to publish anything about her. I LOATHE her more than all the Parasites, Horsey Faces, Prostitots, in the universe. First of all, let me enlighten this slut, the first trimester is a bitch...and I just lost two in a row by ANNOUNCING to the UNIVERSE that I was pregnant. You keep it under wraps until you have passed the first trimester, and even then it is tricky. But on a serious note, ANY BABY BORN TO THIS NASTY SKANK IS IN BIG TROUBLE. I am a million percent convinced that she is an addict, and also diseased up the ying yang. Why does she think people like her??? I mean NOONE respects her or even takes her seriously...she gets a side eye from the universe. I feel for Casey, she must have known in her heart that this skank was not worth her time...would be surprised if she ended her life just to get away from this slut whore.
Jayden is the baby she lost when her boyfriend hit her in the stumic with a hammer and "chunks my baby" she lost it. She named it Jayden. Read her blog it's gold.
what a monster she has become.
MK,shame on you! Ignore it and it will eventually go away.
--thanks awfully--
For the baby's sake I hope she used a fertilized egg from another donor. Who would want to inherit that alien shaped head?
TTFN
Doesn't she have anyone who can request a 5150 hold on her delusional @$$?
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Didnt this douche-whore say a lil whiles back that she cant take care of a baby? we all know this trick is mentally unsound. I think we should force sterilize the majority of hollywood. ____________________________________________
Go Lakers!!!
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Tue, 01/26/2010 - 1:23pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 01/26/2010 - 11:41am.
Can you imagine what baby name this cunt will come up with?
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Fluffernutter Daisy Wombat
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Bwahaha! But seriously, I think "It" or the rather cute "Paycheque" (notice the sophistimacated spelling, classier that way).
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"If anyone needs me I'll be in the Angry Dome!" — Professor Farnsworth
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 01/26/2010 - 11:41am.
Can you imagine what baby name this cunt will come up with?
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Olive Ulong Thyme
I refuse to believe that this batshit crazy bitch is for real.
At Sundance in 2015, a documentary about Tila Tequila's years of groundbreaking and controversial performance art will premiere to standing ovations. Harmony Korine, David Cronenberg and David Lynch will embrace each other, sobbing softly, in the realization that nothing they will ever do could top what Tila has done.
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"If anyone needs me I'll be in the Angry Dome!" — Professor Farnsworth
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 01/26/2010 - 11:41am.
Can you imagine what baby name this cunt will come up with?
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Fluffernutter Daisy Wombat
♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣
Memories of the year that lies behind us
Wishes for the new year yet to come
And it stands to reason that good friends in season
Make you feel that life has just begun
I just can't look at this girl without seeing a Vietnamese hooker.
i'd motoboat it
and then leave
$5 on her thong
w/ note to STFU
They knew each other for a whole two months I believe.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Exactly how long did she know "wifey"? From the way she's acting, she didn't know her that long but is milking it for all she can. Gross.