You Can't Blame A Slut For Trying
Don't act like you've never thought about offering to suck a cop's dick to get out of trouble. The times I've been pulled over for speeding, the cop has either been a lipstick lezzie (I would try it on a butchie) or a really hot officer which means I would've been turned down in 2 seconds flat. So unfortunately, I've never gotten the chance to use that line. But 21-year-old male model Nick Snider DID! And in Arkansas of all places. Nick and I need less bad gay porn in our lives.
The Smoking Gun reports that cops were called to a house in Batesville, Arkansas after a drunk ass Nick refused to leave. When the officers showed up, Nick used the line that will either get you a punch to the mouth or handcuffs around your wrists. Nick told the cops, "I am a very famous model." That's all the cops needed to hear to throw him in the back of their car and shuffle him off to jail.
While on the way to jail, Nick repeatedly told Deputy Brian Luetschwager (click here for a visual) that he would "suck his dick and balls" if he let him go. Yes, the dick AND balls. Yeah, I think offering to suck the officer's balls too was kind of overkill. You should leave something to the imagination.
At the local lock-up, Nick offered to suck the dick of anyone who would free him. Nick would've sucked off the booking officer, the jailer, the janitor, the sandwich maker, the ANYBODY! They all turned him down. Ain't that a bitch! Rejection tastes worse than a smoker's load.
The truth is, they didn't want to get a blow job from a bitch wearing a shirt that has the word "chillaxin" on it.
Nick was charged with public intoxication, disorderly conduct and illegally attempting to influence a public servant. Nick pleaded, "I will suck your dick AND balls" to the charges. No, Nick pleaded not guilty. He bailed out and is due back in court later this month.
The line "I will suck your dick and balls" is probably what made Nick the "very famous model" he is today, so you can't throw any blame on him for trying it use it again.
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what kind of model ?!
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Celebrity News
he's hot enough. I'd let him suck my dick, ballz and taint. word.
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I was born with glitta on my face
my baby clothes made of leather and lace
"Yeah, I think offering to suck the officer's balls too was kind of overkill. You should leave something to the imagination."- lololol
What the fuck was he doing in Batesville? There ain't nothin' there! Trust me, I've been there many times. The only thing I can think of is that he has family there, but his bio says he's from Florida. Hmmm.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Pqi7roI7b5A/S2shd8v93gI/AAAAAAAAA50/rgiijXEt-k...
I thought you were always supposed to suck the cock AND the balls? I wonder if he "smizes" while doing it?
madonna is already circling her prey.
Maybe if he was a little hotter, it would have worked.
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http://evolutionflashback.blogspot.com
Model for whom?
MethWhore Monthly?!
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I read that he was listed in Forbes (2008) as the 4th (or 5th?) most popular model.
So there Deputy Dog! You could have gotten your dick AND balls sucked by the 4th (or 5th?) most popular model.
Twink does have some problems though....
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Corporate whores:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Cam3hFUENQ
That first pic he looks like Pee Wee Herman with a touch of Burberry. The last pic he looks like a stoned Billy Idol.
Love the chillaxin shirt. The shirt alone should qualify as Hot Slut.
What were the charges again?
ok...finally stopped LOLing.oh god no am not AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!1!!!! this is why smokinggun's only 2nd to Dlisted<3haha!1!!
Wow. Dick AND balls?
Well now I know why my modeling career never took off...
"i will suck your dick and balls"...sounds like a bargain to me...don't understand why none of the cops took this twink up on that offer...
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what you gonna do? tell mom and dad I put your dick sucking list on facebook?” – "i love facebook like you love cock..."
I have a perfect driving record. *wipes corner of mouth*
but he looks so straight in the pictures!
www.lowbrowsophisticate.com
I think the deal breaker was that he didnt include "ass"
" I will suck dick and balls" is the new "prostitution whore"
It used to be a blow job would get you the world...now that teenage girls are doing that an anal,,,,fag don't have a prayer....Sorry Cupcake...pay the fine and stay out of the trailer parks.....Love Blanche Hudson.
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
I'd rather spend the night in jail and suck off a hot perp.
If I were a cop, I'd let him go if he sucked my dick and balls. Hell, I probably would have suggested it. He's purty.
I have a friend from Arkansas. He told me if you're anything other than white, you should make sure your car is full when you hit the state line so you wont have to stop in one of the many small towns that dot that state cuz the people there supposedly dont take kindly to ethnicities.
...the way he walks, the way he talks, the way he looks when I walk by...
Submitted by RecessVillain on Thu, 02/04/2010 - 7:33pm.
I would of asked officer baldy Brian if I could suck his dick and balls if I was behind him at a Sizzler salad bar let alone in the back of a squad car.
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Same. I would of offered to suck his luetschwager.
*strapping fake dick to tiger 'giny*...What? What? Dude's kinda HWAT...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
*shakes nonnies at thread*
Agreed Mike, small town Arkanass is no place to try this shit.
*laboriously copies "i will suck your dick and balls" on Post-It for future trip to big city*
♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣
Memories of the year that lies behind us
Wishes for the new year yet to come
And it stands to reason that good friends in season
Make you feel that life has just begun
Where did he think he was, the big city? In small-town Arkansas, you promise the officers they can fuck your gf, not offer to fellate them!
I would of asked officer baldy Brian if I could suck his dick and balls if I was behind him at a Sizzler salad bar let alone in the back of a squad car.
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"Publicity is one hellova drug."
-RecessVillain
"I will suck your dick and balls"
Y'all excuse me while I go stitch this profound and meaningful phrase on a sampler to hang in my family room. Hell, this shit should be printed in greeting cards.
Submitted by Soy on Thu, 02/04/2010 - 7:27pm.
The title of that story was "Assume The Position." It was part of a much larger story called "Disorderly Conduct." :)
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"No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart"
Submitted by Richiegay on Thu, 02/04/2010 - 6:51pm.
OMG, that's terrible! What a dickwad!
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"No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart"
Submitted by Albatross on Thu, 02/04/2010 - 7:25pm.
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The thought of that actually turned me on.
And there must be something wrong with me if I thought Nick's mugshot was cute.
........
Fer sure maybe, fer sure not, fer sure eh, fer sure bomb...
Submitted by dreamhypnotique on Mon, 06/15/2009
It's like trying to put Herpes in its place, when you're syphilis.
Well, alrighty then...
I wrote a story like this once; only in my story, the cop fucked the guy up against his car.
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"No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart"
Damn - is that Crispin Glover in the first pic?
Me thinks Nick might be gay.
He looks better in his mug shot than any of his ads, even the Prada ad.
Smokers have bad-tasting semen? Really? MK you're the gay Masters and Johnson, I swear it.
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L'art n'est pas un mensonge~Flaubert
lmao at offering to not only suck his dick but his balls too
The last time I got a ride home from an ex cop/Taxi driver/bouncer at a gay club(read took too many Tuinals or was it the red ones Seconal?) Anywho, even thought said cop was a sorta friend I still woke up with a sticky nono hole. so I'm kinda not liking the popo much and this was (long time ago, think 'Caribbean Queen' 80's era) when I was young and cute too. Don't take the nono if the person is out cold please. I wonder if he made a sandwich afterward?
She’s a very sensitive lady
She’s always at the breaking point
She’s always on her guard
She’s the fairest of them all
She loves her adderall
She’s kicking out the windows in your car
'The Felice Brothers'
Well, if duck face already landed a PRADA add gampaign, I guess that makes him a succesufull model, because male models are not into the same 'modeling' leagues of female models.
The cop is not a big deal of a man, but I guess with lots of alcohol in your veins, and a cop suit on him, that would make him fuckable.
But HIS GIRLFRIEND IS THE MOS HORRIBLE THING EVER!!!
Good Lord, this poor guy must have had to suck an 18 wheeler full of dick & balls to get to be a successful model
hell in that one pic he looks like actor Crispin Glover in a scene from Back To The Future....
I'm off to bed. Night night!
TEAM GRAVY
Submitted by mike on Thu, 02/04/2010 - 6:15pm.
He looks like Edward Furlong (back when Edward Furlong had a viable career).
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So true! I was a minor back then... LOL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_c-tRu_7AI
swallow the gravy...ROFL
8====================> (_*_)
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"You can ring my belllllll....ring it, ring it, wahhhh!" - Anita Ward
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0PamtXZO70
He looks like Edward Furlong (back when Edward Furlong had a viable career).
Submitted by force noir on Thu, 02/04/2010 - 5:58pm.
This accurately describes my last job interview. Uf.
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What jack said - LOL!
♥ Threadkilla!
And it isn't in education. It's history. It's poetry...It's in DListed.
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Submitted by force noir on Thu, 02/04/2010 - 5:58pm.
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Is your avie Benjamin Bratt?
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I ALMOST threw up my grilled cheese sandwich but with Jesus in your life, you can overcome anything. - boobxqueen on Octomom's Star cover
Submitted by force noir on Thu, 02/04/2010 - 5:58pm.
This accurately describes my last job interview. Uf.
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OOOOOOOOOLLLLOLOLOLOLOLLLLL !!!!!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
LOL Very famous model :)
He looks shit in the mugshot without all that air-brushing.
hey dumb fku everyone knows in arkanass its the hershey highway or no way.