Hot Sluts Of The Day!
Martini Ranch - Long before Bill Paxton was giving Old Rose the tingles down below (you know he was) in Titanic and passing his Mormon peen around in Big Love, he formed a musical duo with Andrew Todd Rosenthal called Martini Ranch. They were like an 80 proof Hall & Oates with an extra shot of bottom shelf bourbon and a bowl of stale peanuts. Since all great things only last a few seconds, they quit the music business after 1 album.
But in that time, they managed to put out this legendary masterpiece. It's the video for their song "Reach" directed by James Cameron with a cameo by his then-wife Kathryn Bigelow (at the 2:58 mark). This clip has more cinematic fartistry than Avatar and The Hurt Locker combined! Body building saloon sluts! White mariachis! Overuse of sepia! What more could you ask for? This is what Bad Girls should've been like:
(For Morgan)
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Cameron always good
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Hollywood Gossip
This must've been right around Aliens. Paul Reiser is in it and so is that butch Puerto Rican chick. WHat a hot mess this is. Love me some old school Bill Paxton!
If a Mexican died and went to Hell, this is where he'd end up. Not a gay Mexican though - a gay Mexican would like this.
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The damn scarecrow called me on his corn phone and wants Kate to return his pubic bush.--MK 02/06/10
When I see pictures of Bill Paxton this young, all I can think is "Game over, man! Game over!" He'd seasoned nicely by the time "Twister" came out.
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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull
Will he be getting a male wife on the next season of Big Love?
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
love bill paxton...can't handle this noise...he was great in that "fishheads" video though...
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what you gonna do? tell mom and dad I put your dick sucking list on facebook?” – "i love facebook like you love cock..."
What a miserable video!
@kinseyholley: Right? He's deliberately baring them throughout and they're like a freakin' picket fence! Really weird.
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"Kirsten suspected she might be knocked up when her monthly batch of menstrual berries weren't delivered to her vagina dock. " -- Michael K.
Submitted by mike on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 11:17am.
I'm embarrassed to say I remember seeing that video. I remember even then thinking, "It's been over two minutes. When is the music starting?"
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Hahaha! Exactly. I almost gave up before the fucking uber-cheesy 80's Beverly Hills Cop music started.
You know,someone got paid to "customize" those jackets. There was probably a meeting about their publicity photos for this "band". Someone actually told these two cheeseballs that those jackets would make them look cool.
Did anybody notice the scene before he walks into the bar, some guy offers Bill a bottle of Dr. Paul's Elixir
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Dude, that "some guy" you are talking about is Paul Reiser, hence the name Dr. Paul's Elixir. It has nothing to do with Paul McCartney.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
And for all you 80s music fans out there, this video looks an awful lot like the one made for the Pete Burns/Dead or Alive song "Brand New Lover". Same color scheme, dust, Spahgetti western-type thing. But it did have Pete B. in a gaucho-mariachi outfit and eyepatch whipping hunky men. Anyone remember that but me?
"What's your motto?" "Kill everyone NOW"
Submitted by Green Is Good on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 2:03pm.
Fun fact: Bill Paxton and Billy Mumy (the kid from Lost In Space) did the video "Fish Heads".
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I love that song... the name of the band is Barnes and Barnes. I knew it was Billy Mumy but I didn't Paxton directed it.
Ha it's good to know that there's more people here that can make obscure musical references. I wanted to use one of the fish heads as an avatar, btw.
Ahh..Bill Paxton in his non-respectable days. He's worth seeing in "Near Dark" (directed by Kathyrn Bigelow) as a psychotic hillbilly vampire, "Weird Science" as Chet the obnoxious paramilitary older brother who ends up literally being a big piece of shit, and "The Dark Backwards" where he slurps rotten chicken off the bone and has sex with gigantic obese hookers. Good thing he dropped the music thing though.
"What's your motto?" "Kill everyone NOW"
No wonder big record companies are in the toilet now - back in the day they spent money like water on dubious "artistic" videos for crap bands like this one.
And am I hallucinating, or were Paul Reiser, Judge Reinhold, a weird Willem Dafoe, Bud Cort, Edie Adams and the Three Amigos also in this masterpiece?
Now I know why the totally one-note actor Paxton has had a successful career - for some inexplicable reason he's always had friends in high places. Or incriminating photos of them doing very naughty things. Or a pact with his dark lord Beelzebub.
The first thing that comes to mind is Buster Poindexter...Hot Hot Hot...
Fun fact: Bill Paxton and Billy Mumy (the kid from Lost In Space) did the video "Fish Heads".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQm5qxD3CJY
Hilarious!
Holy shit. That video was full of such fabulosity!
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I can't believe I actually watched that whole thing; it made no sense. And does it really count as singing when all you say in the whole song is "reach"? Ugh, that video sucked.
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
What's with Paxton's teeth? Those things are terrifying...
Their suits in that pic remind me of Jim Carrey in "The Mask" (in his zoot suit).
I always wonder of 80's films use clichés or if they made them....
This film: Uses them. Defo.
1. Can't believe I CHOSE to spend 8 minutes of my life watching that video.
2. OCD + all that dust - no wonder I hated it.
3. The end was righteous. MK is right about Bad Girls needing a shot of that.
4. Bill Paxton can't sing for shit. But he's hot.
Dude, was that a cameo by Judge Reinhold at 3:36??
this shit totally made my snowday....
i could care less about bill paxton but i had an epic (seemed like forever) sex dream about him the other night...i'm blaming the trazadone(sleep meds.) i usually take on it !!
Eeeeek! It's a James Michener novel: 2,743 pages of nonsense set to music.
Wait a second. James Cameron as in Avatar and Titanic? That James Cameron?????
Wow.
At first I was like, "When did Bill Paxton play the Riddler?"
Those blazers are tragic.
The video is like a little mini-series; it should be broken into Parts I, II, & II. I couldn't make it past the 3:00; maybe I'll finish it later.
HA, nice one MK! The video is better than the song, but I am fond of 80s music. I was expecting some Hall & Oates sounds but this is not like them at all.
Did anybody notice the scene before he walks into the bar, some guy offers Bill a bottle of Dr. Paul's Elixir (as in, Paul McCartney in "Say Say Say")?
They were even better than Vanilla Ice. Seriously....i used to bodypop to their music at TeenDiscos....then get beaten up outside for it!
You are GANGSTA for finding this!!! Andrew Todd is one of my best homies!!!
What are they...Scientologists? That is too much azz being passed around!
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"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli."
Submitted by agirl on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 11:25am.
What year was this? '86? '87?
I THINK it was late '86.
What year was this? '86? '87?
Oh and btw, it sucks.
Oh my god, good for Bill for getting out of "music".
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FIST PUMP!!
Submitted by Dog on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 11:16am.
These two look like someone vomited up a bunch of wingdings on them.
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HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!! Dingbats too.
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This is almost as bad as that crazy fantasy music video.
Love the Paul Reiser and Judge Reinhold cameos!
I only made it to about 3:30. When was this released?
I'm embarrassed to say I remember seeing that video. I remember even then thinking, "It's been over two minutes. When is the music starting?"
I'm still disturbed to learn learn Kathryn Bigelow was married to James Cameron. You really can't make it in Hollywood without major connections. :(
These two look like someone vomited up a bunch of wingdings on them.
This is an I Can't With You for me. I hate Bill Paxton.
♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣
Memories of the year that lies behind us
Wishes for the new year yet to come
And it stands to reason that good friends in season
Make you feel that life has just begun