So That's What Hef Saw In These Two
I never understood why Hugh Hefner's pacemaker skipped two beats for his ex-girlfriends The Shannon Twins. They were so below average on every level to me. I figured he liked the choo choo choo noises they made when they spoon fed him. But after seeing these pictures of them at Playboy's Super Bowl party this past weekend, I now see what Hef sees. Like me, Hef has a soft spot for Fresno meth hooker hair circa 1987 (aka "chola going to spring formal" hair aka 90s teen mom hair aka Sav-On cashier hair).
This is the kind of hair you get when all you've got is a travel-sized bottle of gel and a gas station sink. When your trick gets a little too carried away and sprays the party all over your hair, simply rinse it off in a sink (a garden hose will do too), shake the water out, apply a generous amount of gel and scrunch your way to instant glamour! In just a few minutes, you'll look just like these two day-shift pussy peddlers.
I should've never doubted Hef's cataract encrusted eye. He knows what's good.
Here's the other junkies, tramps and thieves who showed up for the potato buffet at the Playboy Mansion yesterday. They are: Mini-Me, Chuy, The Two Coreys, The New Landers Sisters, Daisy de la Whora, nuns from the Cathedral of Our Lady of Angels and Brittania from Rock of Love Bus.
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Ugly twins
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Hollywood Gossip
And I can't stop clicking on these girls. They're magnificently horrendous. I can hardly imagine how they manage it with all that money behind them...
♥ Threadkilla!
And it isn't in education. It's history. It's poetry...It's in DListed.
~ J.D. Salinger, adapted by caprica six
I don't need to use their last names anymore. Henceforth, I shall refer to them as: Zombie Corey and Douchey Corey. That way I know I'm always talking about the right guy.
♥ Threadkilla!
And it isn't in education. It's history. It's poetry...It's in DListed.
~ J.D. Salinger, adapted by caprica six
Wow, what bunch of STARS! I think it is always funny to look at the front of each Playboy to the the party people who are "Hangin' with Hef", as they say.
I mean who wouldn't want to party with Fred Durst, Bill Maher, Miss February 1995, Hefner's kids, That ugly guy from KISS, Shannon Tweed and their kids,
Some guy who played football in the late 80's and Lance Bass?
Submitted by Supertramp on Tue, 02/09/2010 - 9:32am.
Wow, what a convention of Z listers!
I'm surprised the Earth didn't turn on its axis with all that glamour congregating in one place.
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Exactly.
Who needs a hadron collider when you can create black holes with these people meeting in one place?
Corey Haim is fucking busted...
Oh Haim.. all I can do is shake my head.
Submitted by Supreme Soviet on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 10:58pm.
What the blue fuck is up with the "Line Up" in one of the last thumbnails? L to R: Hormone Annie, the crazy tranny; Soccer Mom from the Valley, The Chupacabra of Fresno; the used up pregnant ginge with the X-Mas Ornaments in her pigtails, and Ferocia, the he-woman of the Sunshine Trailer COurt.
I think I just peed myself.
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"No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart"
their pussy makes change jingle jingle i love the sound of coins and their ass coin slot takes debit fking cards makes it easy for me
This whole post is made of win. Marry me, MK!
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"No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart"
YES!! the 90's meth look is COMING BACK!!! lolol
♫ misty, water colored memmmm-rrrriiiiiiiies ♫
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"When your trick gets a little too carried away and sprays the party all over your hair, simply rinse it off in a sink...."
What can I say MK, poetry, sheer poetry.
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There's nothing like a little black pussay
You know what I noticed? These bitches couldn't even fool Hef by doing a switch out. Their sun-damaged moles/freckles set them apart from each other in a big way.
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“Calm down. You don’t just grab a ruler and tell everyone to whip their dicks out. You stuff your crotch and keep your pants on.” ShitMyDadSays on Facebook
Wow, what a convention of Z listers!
I'm surprised the Earth didn't turn on its axis with all that glamour congregating in one place.
These twins have bleached their hair within an inch of its life. Why do chicks do that? It's not natural looking at all. Blech.
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“Calm down. You don’t just grab a ruler and tell everyone to whip their dicks out. You stuff your crotch and keep your pants on.” ShitMyDadSays on Facebook
nothing spells class like thumbnail #12.
Holy shitballs!!! What the hell is with that line-up of girls? I guess it's not possible for these fake skanks to have a good face and body at the same time. I'd rather have an okay face and body than have a great body and fug face. Most of them are downright scary.
In the lineup of painted girls, the middle skank and the ginge to her left scare me. They all scare me, especially Corey Feldman. I'm going back to bed and hiding under the covers.
They look like they're 12 years old.
I can't (can) believe Hef fell for the twins shit...except for the plastic hair, NOTHING about these two looks remotely related.
Heh. The tag is "Shit you find at the dollar store". Red Ratty Hood looks like she got her bloomers at the 99 cent store. Bitch looks like a marshmallow with a rubber band around it.
Submitted by babybunny on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 11:16pm.
Supreme Soviet you are killing me! Great description of the tranny line up..Hormone Annie, Ferocia priceless! These comments are the best...and Hef and the mansion is now just a wanna be tranny hang out...
Hell, some of these hos make the "gals" down on Santa Monica Blvd. downright damned glamorous. Not to mention better looking. Including the gal with the beer belly that lets his nalgas hang out his short shorts.
These girls were no more than a gimmick to Hefner: the mysterious case of the duplifying floozy. Once more it was obvious that this guy perceives women as interchangeable objects and image enhancers. To me that spells "closet gay" and "eeny weeny dick".
Hef's cataract encrusted eyes must cast an angelic aura around his new stable of trick ponies.
Re:
When your trick gets a little too carried away and sprays the party all over your hair, simply rinse it off in a sink (a garden hose will do too), shake the water out, apply a generous amount of gel and scrunch your way to instant glamour!
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OMG!! I am laffing so much I'm farting at the same time...!
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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
Submitted by kokoskitten on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 9:45pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 9:34pm.
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one of the most horrifying things you brought up was sticking a pipe cleaner in hugh's one eyed monster which then reminds me of horrible images of teaching third grade(using cheesy pipe cleaners as "art") AND watching my then 27 y.o man toy/fiancee get a catheter shoved in his dick while he bitched and moaned like it was the worst pain ever experienced in the history of time...either way thinking of hugh's dick UUUGGGH!!!
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When I read that, I thought the same thing...about catheters! Now ill think of this every time I put one in a patient. Thanks.
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Go Lakers!!!
I wish I could just paint clothes on. No laundry, everything would coordinate, wouldn't need as much closet space.....
Hef probably has advanced glaucoma, so all the girls look like Marilyn Monroe to him now.
The best thing he could do would be to star in a snuff film with the whole lot of them.
Now.
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
Holy shit, I see Hef has opted for the "fade away" approach regarding the demise of Playboy. Yikes...
Wow. The caliber of woman and guest at Hef's parties has gone to shit. The boys of Jersey Shore have better taste.
Oh, and when did Hef break up with the twins? I thought he dumped Holly for these skanks.
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My teenage angst has a body count!
Submitted by super martian r... on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 11:07pm
I use to read the articles. I even had a subscription back in the late 90's. And the only reason why I got that was the last page of the magazine would feature interesting merchandise and where to buy it.
Then I noticed that that articles seem to demonize women. At least a little and I had no interest in reading that shit.
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I'm a bilingual illiterate...I can't read in 2 languages. - Pet Shop Boys
Anyone remember the cover of the Rolling Stones album "Some Girls?" #09 reminds me of that...
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Out of the ash I rise with my red hair. And I eat men like air.
Submitted by super martian r... on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 11:07pm.
Nobody cares about porn magazines when they can get it online discreetly and for free. I am surprised anyone at all still subscribes to "I'll only show tits...sometimes" Playboy. And let's put the old joke to rest, no one reads that shit for the articles.
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My dad is 80, so he's part of their target demographic, and his subscription gives him access to pictures of Heidi Montag and Marge Simpson he doesn't know how to look up on a computer. And his cataracts make them look very similar.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Supreme Soviet you are killing me! Great description of the tranny line up..Hormone Annie, Ferocia priceless! These comments are the best...and Hef and the mansion is now just a wanna be tranny hang out...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 9:34pm
Oh fuck me, that was funny. And considering that I'm going to be studying to get my CNA license soon, it's doubly funny.
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I'm a bilingual illiterate...I can't read in 2 languages. - Pet Shop Boys
Submitted by Supreme Soviet on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 10:58pm.
What the hell happened to Playboy? I used to WANT to be a centerfold. Not anymore. It seems they are paying in Food Stamps.
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Nobody cares about porn magazines when they can get it online discreetly and for free. I am surprised anyone at all still subscribes to "I'll only show tits...sometimes" Playboy. And let's put the old joke to rest, no one reads that shit for the articles.
It's not surprising "The Tara Reid Story" needs a stand in.
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
Jesus Jumped Up Christ. WTF? We have 2 washed up 80's stars with questionable pants, twins with teeth so yellow they spit butter- not to mention their "Cup O Ramen" Hair.
What the blue fuck is up with the "Line Up" in one of the last thumbnails? L to R: Hormone Annie, the crazy tranny; Soccer Mom from the Valley, The Chupacabra of Fresno; the used up pregnant ginge with the X-Mas Ornaments in her pigtails, and Ferocia, the he-woman of the Sunshine Trailer COurt.
What the hell happened to Playboy? I used to WANT to be a centerfold. Not anymore. It seems they are paying in Food Stamps.
Forgive me if this has been asked and answered, but who or what are those creatures with the tattoos? Seems like guys really will fuck anything.
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Welcome to Costco. I love you.
That second to last pic...alright I KNOW ITS YOU DLISTED HOS that crashed Hefs party...fess up!!!
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what the hell is going on in corey feldman's pants in these photos? i am grossing myself out/turning myself on just wondering.
Can we all just assume Hef has cataracts now?
Submitted by EvilShoe on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 10:22pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 10:02pm.
Submitted by kokoskitten on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 9:45pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 9:34pm.
After all the links Michael has told us not to click and shit I've read over the years here on Dlisted, I could watch a peen get a good pipe cleaning and eat a Slim Jim during.
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You a hard core DListed Slut... I like that...They must be some Dlisted award fo' dat....*searching through Dlisted lost and found*....You've got your choice of what looks like a petrified turd...or a cassette tape of David Cassidy's Greatest Hits....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
When I was at UCLA, I bartended at a Playboy party once. It was awesome, as only the coolest people were invited; movie stars and girls/bunnies that were naturally beautiful. Nowadays, it's "whores-a-plenty", with only the ugliest & most surgically enhanced boobies reality show chick douchebags & attention whore dudes invited. Hef is definitely slipping; none of these losers (including his ex-live-in twin whore girlfriends) would have been invited in the old days.
Edit - I just took a look at the 5 football chicks picture. The chick in the middle is totally nude; her snaaatch is painted over just like her boobs. It's an indicator of how boogly these chicks are & how much Hef has lost it that, even for a dude like me that is hot for naked babes, I don't find these chicks erotic even in the slightest.
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
These girls are so skanky. I don't even think 90% of players would "take one for the team bang a fatty for your friend" do them. They are un-hygienic looking. You'd have to be really drunk to bang them.
They would be considered below average even to the trailer park boy sitting at home watching jerry spring with his beer hat on drinking.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 10:02pm.
Submitted by kokoskitten on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 9:45pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 9:34pm.
After all the links Michael has told us not to click and shit I've read over the years here on Dlisted, I could watch a peen get a good pipe cleaning and eat a Slim Jim during.
OMG the 2nd to last thumbnail...is this real life?
*trips out*
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"gobble a bowl of dicks" submitted by HOTNEY
Submitted by kokoskitten on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 9:45pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 9:34pm.
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one of the most horrifying things you brought up was sticking a pipe cleaner in hugh's one eyed monster which then reminds me of horrible images of teaching third grade(using cheesy pipe cleaners as "art") AND watching my then 27 y.o man toy/fiancee get a catheter shoved in his dick while he bitched and moaned like it was the worst pain ever experienced in the history of time...either way thinking of hugh's dick UUUGGGH!!!
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Ho, you a DLister now, have some PURPLE DRANK eat a Slim Jim and walk it off....;-)
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
"I now see what Hef sees. Like me, Hef has a soft spot for Fresno meth hooker hair circa 1987 (aka "chola going to spring formal" hair aka 90s teen mom hair aka Sav-On cashier hair)." -MK
Fucking priceless.(lmbao)
That being said-you will refrain from insulting said "Fresno meth hookers".They're waaay classier.
I guess the truly last thing to go when you get to be Hef's age is a lifetime of good tastes.
Wow.Not exactly The Rat Pack/Clint Eastwood/Goldie Hawn/Muhammad Ali/Angie Dickinson glory days crowd showing up...is it?