So That's What Hef Saw In These Two
I never understood why Hugh Hefner's pacemaker skipped two beats for his ex-girlfriends The Shannon Twins. They were so below average on every level to me. I figured he liked the choo choo choo noises they made when they spoon fed him. But after seeing these pictures of them at Playboy's Super Bowl party this past weekend, I now see what Hef sees. Like me, Hef has a soft spot for Fresno meth hooker hair circa 1987 (aka "chola going to spring formal" hair aka 90s teen mom hair aka Sav-On cashier hair).
This is the kind of hair you get when all you've got is a travel-sized bottle of gel and a gas station sink. When your trick gets a little too carried away and sprays the party all over your hair, simply rinse it off in a sink (a garden hose will do too), shake the water out, apply a generous amount of gel and scrunch your way to instant glamour! In just a few minutes, you'll look just like these two day-shift pussy peddlers.
I should've never doubted Hef's cataract encrusted eye. He knows what's good.
Here's the other junkies, tramps and thieves who showed up for the potato buffet at the Playboy Mansion yesterday. They are: Mini-Me, Chuy, The Two Coreys, The New Landers Sisters, Daisy de la Whora, nuns from the Cathedral of Our Lady of Angels and Brittania from Rock of Love Bus.
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 7:52pm.
Am I missing something here? This is Playboy, right? I thought the girls were supposed to be cute...
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I think that was back when cute girls wanted to hit them some Hef. Now the only ones that will fuck a barely breating corpse for room and board are straight up NASTAY SKANKS...Oh, and that painted dude with mad tucking skillz too...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Speaking of twin sluts...
http://www.thebarbitwins.net/barbi_twins_photos/shorts_barbi_twins.jpg
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"... the wailing lesbian fetus known as Justin Bieber." - Michael K
I love that they cloned the Landers sisters for a new generation, it's like the late 70s/early 80s never went away.
*Lysols screen, Purell's hands and then Visine's eyes*
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I am not a pussy.
Am I missing something here? This is Playboy, right? I thought the girls were supposed to be cute...
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I like living this way. I like loving this way.
Submitted by david Letterman... on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 7:12pm.
wow, remind me not to get in a bathing suit around YOU.
btw...GEAUX Saints :)!
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Not Impressed -- I think #9 is a MAN! That our "it" is Celine Dion's brother. I've never seen a more broke-down looking bunch of skanks in my life. Daisy de la Whora almost looks classy in comparison.
Madam Ex -- I love it -- "chupacabra."
that picc of the gorup of gals is all kinds of scary. Eck....
The Mouth Breather Corey looks like an addict with only a few more hits in his lifetime.
Team Original GND!
those twins are ugly. UGLY.
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There's a world where I can go and tell my secrets to
In my room
- Beach Boys
Who the hell would have thought that Corey Feldman ends up as the better looking one of the two Coreys? Man, Corey Haim was my first crush. I was so crazy for him for YEARS! God, it's painful to watch what has become of him. So many fond teengirl memories I have due to him and his movies. I want the 80's back!!!!!!!!!!
♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬
Rrridiaouw woo oo rrri-ou!
Hef must be going blind. These two would even be turned down by the Jersey Shore dorks.
"Well, it is very nice to meet ya'll motherfuckers an' ho's." Shanaynay (Shane Dawson)
So THIS is what happens when your titty magazine lifestyle becomes a parody of itself...
The women with the spray-on clothes especially look nasty. Their bodies and faces are ugly as hell, ugh!
...oh Jeez, I coulda done without seeing Corey Haim's nutsplit right before dinner...
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..."you'll LOVE my nuts!" crackhead Vince demonstrating the Slap Chop...
I particularly like how the color of the teeth of the one that is smiling matches the color of her hair! Tres chic!
"Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid." -John Wayne
"Ignorance is curable, but stupidity is forever." -Gary Cryan
I'm sorry but Playboy Playmate quality has gone waaaaaaay down! Anna Nicole (in top form) looked a thousand times better than these wet trailer trash looking skanks. That party looked like the rejects from a vh1 reality show.
Wow, Corey Haim just killed any lingering 6th grade tingly feelings I had for him. I think I'll choose to believe that he died right after making The Lost Boys.
P.C. Schme-c.
She should find underwear that doesnt cut into her thighs, she wont look as big lol
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alert the media! I'm uncool and a wasted youth because I don't listen to The Who!
Whoa, Corey Haim is making Mickey Rourke look downright handsome.
#09 looks like somebody's anorexic fake-tittied mom. What a frightening bunch...
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Douchechill!
Submitted by MuffinAmy on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 7:16pm.
@david letterman: *gasps* there are lots of negative things to say about the girls in that picture, but "fat" isn't among them. Red's just curvy. Now, #9.... wtf?
Yeah, not "fat" but definitely "your ass should be in a one-piece"
Nice crowd walkin' the meth carpet.
Between The Twins, The Fugliest Playboy line-up EVER, and The Coreys being there, you KNOW Old Man Hef woke up from one of his cat naps with his robe pockets turned out.
The quality of the Playboy party attendee has gone WAAAAAYYYYY down. Looks like Playboy Inc. is running very low on the flow. BTW, love the thigh bruise on one of the twins.
Michael -- don't forget that these two skanks are sisters. So their willingness to incest likely goes a long way re: Hef's interest.
@david letterman: *gasps* there are lots of negative things to say about the girls in that picture, but "fat" isn't among them. Red's just curvy. Now, #9.... wtf?
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"Kirsten suspected she might be knocked up when her monthly batch of menstrual berries weren't delivered to her vagina dock. " -- Michael K.
@david letterman: *gasps* there are lots of negative things to say about the girls in that picture, but "fat" isn't among them. Red's just curvy. Now, #9.... wtf?
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"Kirsten suspected she might be knocked up when her monthly batch of menstrual berries weren't delivered to her vagina dock. " -- Michael K.
They look like the kind of chicks that will do just about anything for another bump (the kind of chicks I LOVE to bring home).
You say "ATM" to these two, they know you aren't talking about a cash machine...
What a classy looking event.. I mean it is playboy and all so class isnt usually a factor but my god, they've taken trashy up 1000 notches.. I miss the good old days of big blond hair and questionable but not as tacky as these outfits.. this is just.. BAD
The blond Julia Roberts (2nd from left) is the only one on this bill that I'd let lick my wound.
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"... the wailing lesbian fetus known as Justin Bieber." - Michael K
Corey Haim looks like that Shadoe Stevens dude from the radio.
Who is the fat red headed chick with the braids? WTF!
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david Letterman- hey slut -- you calm down too . Submitted by luscious_t 1/22/10
Dear god! I see Corey Haim still hasn't kicked the drugs. Buddy looks BEAT for a 30 year old....he looks well into his 50's!
Whoa@ Corey Haim
The first thing that popped into my head after seeing him was an old episode of Family Guy in which an adult Elroy Jetson says, "Take me to Astro's grave!"
HAY! One of those men is a woman!
♥ Threadkilla!
And it isn't in education. It's history. It's poetry...It's in DListed.
~ J.D. Salinger, adapted by caprica six
The tags on this one slay me, with my favorite being "skanks."
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"Kirsten suspected she might be knocked up when her monthly batch of menstrual berries weren't delivered to her vagina dock. " -- Michael K.
You sure this isn't a "White Trash" party?
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"Money is the magic wand that turns a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
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Of course the Rock of LOvebus are there.
*projectile vomits*
Mini Me and Daisy in the same photo op ... doesn't get much better.
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http://rxhollywood.wordpress.com/
I take that back Chuey and Minnie Me are the sexiest ones there...everyone else...bleehhh...
WOW that is some guest list, sad, very sad, and painted No.9 is scaring the fuck out of me, what is it???? Does anybody know, chupacabra maybe?
VERMIN.
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"... the wailing lesbian fetus known as Justin Bieber." - Michael K
looks like I had better (and WAY more attractive) company hanging out with my man and my dog for Superbowl Sunday...these tricks look horrible. Brittania has potential but has to ease up on the eye makeup...everyone else just looks like your basic truck stop trannies....
What the FUCK happened to Corey Haim?
That Brittany girl... However you spell her name...
What the fuck is wrong with her titties?
What happened to Playboy? The cheap hookers used to have pretty faces. These painted women look like they were found at a truck stop in Laredo, Texas.
wow, when daisy de la whora is the best looking creature at your party, that's when you just gotta say, fuck it. i give up.
Give it up Hef.
*vomits*
I think it helps that Cory (not the F one) is stoned out of his mind and can't focus, not much to look at here.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 6:58pm.
I don't care how much money Hef threw at me, NO WAY would I ever have sexay times with a man with my twin sister included.
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No kidding! I get grossed out when I hear my brother has a girlfriend because I know that means he is getting sex, and I start to gag. lol No way would I want to see my sibling get laid and worse by the same person as me!?!?! Fuck no.
What in the HELL is going on with that "woman" in the middle's face/eyebrow situation in that group pic and how'd she get that gig? Ewwwwwwwwwwwww.
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"Kirsten suspected she might be knocked up when her monthly batch of menstrual berries weren't delivered to her vagina dock. " -- Michael K.
Ummm, The Two Corey's? WTF happened to Corey? (not the Feldmann) Holy shit.
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“Calm down. You don’t just grab a ruler and tell everyone to whip their dicks out. You stuff your crotch and keep your pants on.” ShitMyDadSays on Facebook