Tamra Barney Is Boning Her Husband's Best Friend
The marriage of The Real Housewives of Orange's Tamra Barney and that creepy Simon dude is currently in the gutter right next to Lynne Curtin's parenting skills and Alexis' call girl past (I'm convinced she has one). Radar says that right after Simon filed for divorce from Tamra, she ran off to cry on the peen belonging to Eddie Judge. Eddie is Simon's best friend.
Simon said that when he saw the two holding hands at a club in Las Vegas, he was so devastated that he dropped to his knees ala graceful Vicki. Somebody give Lynne a sippy cup filled with Freixenet, because we're going to need her to cry Botox tears for Simon. Turns on the tears, Lynne:
After Simon pulled a dramatic queen cunt move by falling to the floor, he confronted his best friend Eddie who kept quiet. Simon went on to say, "I couldn't believe what I had just witnessed -- the ultimate betrayal by a pal and my estranged wife. I started to feel weak and feel to my knees. The doorman helped me and by the time I had regained my composure they both left to the other side of the club."
Tamra confirms that she's whoring it up with Simon's best friend, "We are romantically involved, he is a great guy. It was bound to happen that we both would start dating again after he filed for divorce. It was going to happen sooner or later. I don't know what the future holds with Eddie and only time will tell."
The only thing I need to know is if this Eddie dude can keep Tamra in the lifestyle to which she used to be accustomed to before Simon's checking account flat-lined. Tamra deserves to live in the biggest track house on the cul-de-sac, drive a pre-owned BMW and wear the finest rags Off Saks has to offer. On second thought, scratch everything I wrote because I just had a last-minute vision of a barefoot Tamra hunting for empty cans in the dumpster and it brought a twinkle to my soul.
Oh, and can someone tell Lynne she can stop crying for Simon now:
If any more moisture seeps out of her, she's going to shrivel down into a damn raisin. And how entertaining would it be to watch a drunk raisin? Actually, it would be really entertaining. Cry on, Lynne!
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what a ugly face.
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Hollywood Gossip
Let that be a lesson to all the kiddies: plastic surgery only looks good if you don't actually use your face.
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Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you you gonna bite?
I only pulled that maneuver once because I came to hate my boyfriend...(he beat me up one night) dated his best friend(we had chemistry), broke up that marriage he was in ( hated her too, she told me she was already cheating) so I was pleased with that years work. Nothing hurts a guy more than taking his best friend.
Submitted by guilty of being... on Tue, 02/09/2010 - 11:53am.
I thought that was Steven Tyler.
Hahaha, that makes two of us!
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Ever see a man's stump? Guy's like, "Go on, man. I want you to know how it feels. Touch it. Touch my stump." Disgusting! So don't tell us that Bucky Haight wasn't shot, 'cause we were there. We touched his stump."
I can't stand Lynne, her bitchy daughters are be on repair! Lynne I swear wins the award for the ugliest crier in the world! I wanted her to stop crying because she was scaring me!
Tamra is white trash and she should have never bitched out Gretchen, when she didn't know the full story.
These Real Housewives think they are rich, I mean anybody can fake being wealthy! It's called a credit card. The only thing they can't fake is class!
I thought that was Steven Tyler.
"Fuck me running..."
Simon's hooking up too or he wouldn't be in a club. I hate myself for caring about this.
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If they start sending freaks to jail, I’m guilty as charged.
These dinosaurs CLUBBING. I. love it.
"I never bought her sanctimonious act when she'd (Tamra) lash out at and bitch out Gretchen. Obviously she's been capable of shady, ho-stuff all along."
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AMEN! After all the trash talking Tamra did concerning Gretchen... look who goes out and starts f*cking her husbands friend. hahahaha!
There has to be more of the Orange Housewife's, just so I can see Gretchen and her own tool Slade... mock Tamra. Oh please let there be more to this story.
For Tamra... who has ranted on and on about Gretchen... whom she is desperately jealous of... now I am ready for Slade to really say something tacky to Tamra's face.
Like at least Gretchen can pay her own bills. Unlike Tamra, who is now f*cking for cash.
Vicki just stuck another pin into her Simon voodoo doll and is cackling with joy.
"Well, it is very nice to meet ya'll motherfuckers an' ho's." Shanaynay (Shane Dawson)
All these "Real Housewives" make me sad. They're all controlling bitches so wrapped up in the idea of being rich (or appearing rich) that they can't even see straight. Not one of these bitches is actually happy. Mess.
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Chris Brown needs to like, wow, take that stupid ass bow tie and shove it down his throat. It's like, wow. WOW. --MK 8/31/09
I never bought her sanctimonious act when she'd lash out at and bitch out Gretchen. Obviously she's been capable of shady, ho-stuff all along.
why can't lynne stop slurring? my goodness. she's completely wasted every single minute!
tamra is such a beyotch. & vicki looks like a caricature more & more every day. as for don...he's such a little girl. balls in a blender baby.
That fatty piece on her arm fold is weird looking.
Don is a big pussay
Submitted by squiggles on Tue, 02/09/2010 - 1:17am.
I hear ya! You're probably thinking of Don, Vicki's husband. He seems to have his head on straight, but I totally agree with you on the rest of the fucks. On one hand, Simon's been super controlling and suffocating, but at the same time I don't like Tamra and can't feel much sympathy for her. Simon and the new husband, Jim (?) both having the attitude that their wives can't ever go anywhere without them when they tagged along with the "girls only" trip to San Fran was kinda scary. You should be able to go away with your girls or a guy should be able to go away with his guys for a weekend if it's a healthy and trusting relationship. Simon and Jim come off as creepy and controlling.
Botox is like the A-bomb. You're against it, but in some cases it would be helpful. Botox makes people butt-ugly, but it also makes for great entertainment. It's like superglueing someone's face while they're asleep and watch them mimic 'help'. Whoever invented it must have been a sadist.
Fck me, I don't know which of these bitches (and I'm including husbands and that tool Slade) I hate most! They are ALL so repulsive in their own little way that when they argue, it becomes totally impossible to pick a side. The only remotely likable one is that abused husband of what's her face. But we don't see much of him b/c he's not really allowed to talk.
italics, Poor Hooch. :(
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I think Hooch got off easy.
Would YOU want to owned by Tom Hanks.
I rest my case.
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
Submitted by Centaurious on Tue, 02/09/2010 - 12:46am.
italics!!, And why does her orange face look like she’s hanging her head out a car window?
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Call Tom Hanks.
Remake!
Turner and Hooch. (Literally.)
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Poor Hooch. :(
italics!!, And why does her orange face look like she’s hanging her head out a car window?
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Call Tom Hanks.
Remake!
Turner and Hooch. (Literally.)
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
I’m staring at her jowls from different angles.
Who is she? Why should I care about her crying?
And why does her orange face look like she’s hanging her head out a car window?
that's a ho for ya. gosh damn, there are other men out there but she had to jump on her soon to be ex-man's best friend? those two didn't just hook up recently. his friend has been tapping that ass for a while now. can't stand her ass anyway. Uhhhh, Gretchen, time for you to talk mess girl! she's all over your back about you being a whore and now look at this triffling ho. um, um, um
Submitted by death2douches on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 11:52pm.
I didn't know Melissa Rivers was on a television show.
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LOL!
BOTH of those cunts should be running for the Triple Crown!
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
I didn't know Melissa Rivers was on a television show.
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"Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass." ~ Cordelia Chase
"Men should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable." ~ Mrs. White
WTF with his shirt?!
Nice embroidery.
Half Texan cowboy, half Vegas fag.
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 11:02pm
Exactly. Just another reason why I'm glad I don't own a tv.
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I'm a bilingual illiterate...I can't read in 2 languages. - Pet Shop Boys
who?
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There's no, no looking back for us
We got love sure enough (That's enough)
You're all- You're all I need to get by
-Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell
Tamra and all the other housewives should thank their lucky stars they can even find men who want them as fake and unappealing as they are. I suppose they look ok for their age but why would a rich man pick a decent looking 40-something past her prime when he can get a young fresh 20-something who doesn't obsess about her age? I'm not saying 40-somethings don't have it going on, they can when they are aging naturally and beautifully... none of these skanks on the show are. Just LOOK at Lynne. So pathetic. Plastic surgery to look younger or more sex-kitten will bite you in the ass sooner or later. I understand some people have nose jobs or chin reductions and that seems necessary if you have the money but procedures to make you look younger are usually an epic fail. If you treat your body like shit while you are young you can't just take it away when you are older. Fact of life.
Submitted by sushi on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 10:47pm.
Why doesn't anyone who botoxes their forehead have bangs? Waxey foreheads don't look good.
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Bangs draw attention downward - to the jowls and neck. Waxey foreheads are better than a jaw line fucked by gravity. Check how even her shoulder is hiding her jaw/neck.
Lynn should STFU and concentrate on her real priority, finding her long-lost daughter Rachel Uchitel.
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
Steve Austin and Jamie Sommers from The Six Million Dollar Man and Bionic Woman remake.
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
did anyone watch last weeks "real housewives" where simon was practically grabbing her by the elbow and shaking her hissing in her ear???? (i still don't have the most favorable opinion of her, but he scares me too!!!)...they both have committed felonies againt each other....
Why doesn't anyone who botoxes their forehead have bangs? Waxey foreheads don't look good.
People with Botox should not cry or laugh cuz it makes the fluid shift to unattractive places...which in Lynne's case is everywhere.
I find these people too orange to care about.
time-lapse vid of DC snow:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMhUZAq5IxQ&feature=player_embedded
Is that her dad?
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 10:23pm.
seduce his doofus son and ingratiate yourself into he family, then find some papers in his home office, and waste the old fart and CHA-CHING....
a date with Christopher Meloni! Count me in! :D
♥ Threadkilla!
And it isn't in education. It's history. It's poetry...It's in DListed.
~ J.D. Salinger, adapted by caprica six
Tam-RAA's new man will be sick of her slimy snatch in no time...She is a toTAL WHORE. I hope Simon finds a hot, totally HOT piece.
TAMRA is a cunt...I hope Gretch is giggling...
**Time flies when you're a drunken whore.** Michael K
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 10:17pm.
Well of COURSE! she's gonna date his best friend. Either that or his brother. It makes perfect sense. That's what I always do!
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Amateur...I go for the rich father with a heart problem a la Life Time for Women Movie Channel (aka DListed training ground)....Yep, apparently alls you hafta do is seduce his doofus son and ingratiate yourself into he family, then find some papers in his home office, and waste the old fart and CHA-CHING....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Tamra is such a loser she can't even find a man who has nothing to do with her own social circle. Lame-o.
Submitted by Santa Ana Winds on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 10:03pm.
Where is it written that you can't date/marry your friend's ex? You didn't want them anymore, so what's the big deal? I've never understood that.
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That's just like the rules of feminism ok???
Sorry, sometimes I read something and Mean Girls takes over my brain.
Well of COURSE! she's gonna date his best friend. Either that or his brother. It makes perfect sense. That's what I always do!
♥ Threadkilla!
And it isn't in education. It's history. It's poetry...It's in DListed.
~ J.D. Salinger, adapted by caprica six
Call me evil, but i was rolling when Lynne melted her own face!
man, that is one ugly bitch...and the dude kinda resembles papa joe simpson...
I'm from Fresno. We're all drunk raisins. Bring on Atlanta's main ho, NeNe.
Submitted by Santa Ana Winds on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 10:03pm.
*rolls eyes*
...really?
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alert the media! I'm uncool and a wasted youth because I don't listen to The Who!
Wow ... and after all the shit she gave Gretchen for getting over the old guy so fast. Simon seriously is creepy though.
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http://rxhollywood.wordpress.com/
A post this late? Sweet
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alert the media! I'm uncool and a wasted youth because I don't listen to The Who!
And she had the audacity to quack about Gretchen?
I'll bet she's thrilled she got that tattoo now.