John Mayer's Apology Train Rolls Into Nashville
Yeah, I know your genitals curl up like a scared roly poly every time John Mayer's face pops up on your screen, but let's just get through this last one together because now he's bringing his tears into it. And when John cries Balloon Boy-laced tears, your soul makes a happy face.
So...a vagina's worst enemy already apologized on his Twatter for offending mostly everyone with his words of douchefuckery (i.e. white supremacist dick, the n-word, blah, blah blah). But at the end of his show in Nashville last night, the stoner who gives all stoners a bad name launched into another long ass apology to his screaming fans and his band. While the band played on, John announced that he is going to quit the media game and end his "quest to be clever." Clip is below. Instead of his band playing, there should've been a tiny mouse with a tinier violin on stage. Better yet, Keyboard Cat should've played him off as soon as he said "quest to be cle-."
And if John really wanted to prove he's sorry, he should travel around the world and hand everyone a little lesbian as a peace offering (like he is in the picture above). A little lesbian cures everything (okay, okay, I'll admit that my own quest to be clever is like the maiden voyage of the Titanic).
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One word: idiot
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Hollywood Gossip
oh and perez is pathetic whether you like mayer or not. I dunno if anyone heard his little thing about mayer "confessing" certain things "to perez" MONTHS ago but I did.
It was somewhere on youtube yesterday I think....and of course perez said he just felt it was "the perfect time to bring it up" when asked why now.
I wanna know if he has Aspergers. I googled aspergers and then looked up famous people with it, found that people suspect he does and looked him up again and it brought me to another article about him here where people were commenting that he might. I'm shocked. Of course I don't expect the answer. Hearing Bill Gates might have it isn't a shock but some of the people you hear might have it is quite surprising.
Thanks for the apology, John. To show my heartfelt appreciation, I'd punch his dick so hard it inverted into a vagina, then rip his trachea out and violate him with it. Then I'd set him on fire.
There's your sexual napalm, you simpering fuckwitted neandertroll.
John's body = my wonderland.
Just came out of lurk-mode. Read the post. Could only stomach the first 45 seconds of the video before I started screeching out loud (Kanye style) SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DOUCHE BAG. SERIOUSLY S.H.U.T T.H.E F.U.C.K U.P. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Proceeded to read the comments on the post and realized that I was not the only person that felt the need to scream at my computer screen, hoping to silence all that is douchebag-ala-John-fucking-Mayer style. HATE x infinity
What in the fucking douche-hell is he talking about?
Jesus, didn't understand any of it. Not one bit.
JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP JOHN, SERIOUSLY, JUST SHUT.THE.FUCK.UP!!
"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped"
- Elbert Hubbard
Submitted by Manimal5 on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 1:12pm.
"I haven't had this much fun laughing since Jimmy Swaggart the preacher apologized for bangin a prostitute."
That was my favorite celeb apology, too! The drama! The pathos! The memory of the crocodile tears streaming down that bloated, sanctimonious face still warms my heart. "Ah have sinned against you!"
Submitted by Whatever on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 4:38pm.
I won't bother to click on the apology. He suffers from delusions of grandeur. Once you think you are smarter then the rest of the population you end up putting your foot right in your mouth like he did. He is a disgrace to the human race.
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LOL. Love it.
How embarrassing for him. I always wondered why he was such a GD douche, especially considering his music (he is talented after all). And now it's finally hit him. And he should also apologize to women, especially Kerry Washington. WTF kind of disgusting crap was that!
http://backoftheroom.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/thatsenoughjohnmayer.jp...
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"Help control the pet population: Teach your dog abstinence." -- Stephen Colbert
I won't bother to click on the apology. He suffers from delusions of grandeur. Once you think you are smarter then the rest of the population you end up putting your foot right in your mouth like he did. He is a disgrace to the human race.
This is what Jessica Simpson had to say to John Mayer when she called him http://tinyurl.com/y8wepho
John Mayer is the white Kanye West.
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 12:15pm.
Hear this celebs: DANCE MONKEY DANCE!!! That's your only job. Entertain me, shut up, try to look pretty and go the fuck away.
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LOFLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!
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"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." ~ Pink
WHere and why is he carting that little boy off to?!
"Small and broken..... but still good..... mostly...."
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 12:32pm.
O boo hoo hoo hoo! SO constantly persecuted you are. You're a fucking blues guitartist who makes money. And you're not even very good.
Cry me a fucking river, whore.
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Yeah, that was pretty ridiculous. He says stupid shit, is called on it and he calls that being persecuted.
Just play your fvckin guitar. There are enough stupid people who will continue to buy tickets.
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Declaration of Compassion:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCqnmzSyyvI&feature=related
He's a freaking douche lord.
He needs to go away already. No one cares. Get over yourself you twit.
Dear God, please come down and cull all these useless celebs. Cheers, Thanx, Ta!
Years ago 'stars' had publicists that kept their clients true personality in line. Nowadays, they just say whateverrr without any filter.
I never liked him to begin with. Arrogant ass that he is. The more he tries to explain his actions, the more excuses he makes/the more he over compensates. Damage done. What an asshole.
Vow of silence??? Now that would be an appropriate apology to the world.
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http://rxhollywood.wordpress.com/
you guys do realize that he is probably reading every word of what we're saying. Think about it, he keeps saying that people are calling him a douche. What people? To his face? I doubt it. Probably just some peeps he's reading on blogs like Dlisted or perez guy.
The key to having the hood pass is to be cool with certain people and be able to go certain places without not getting your ass beat. It's like fight club, you don't talk about it. Anybody with "cleverness" and "intelligence" would understand that. Seriously, why is this asshole still breathing?
That video is depressing as hell. People like him and his nursery-rhyme music. Enough to pay for his shows and cheer on his buffoonery. Why can't he be marginalized into playing gigs at "White Power" rallies, then leave the rest of civilization alone.
I would liken him to Bill Clinton. Both apparently thought they were so respected in the black community that they lost their filter. Remember Clinton's missteps in the election? Made some quasi-racial comments. Then there were the remarks about Obama that offended Kennedy.
Both believed their own press they really did think they had a "hood pass."
Mayer is so enamored with the sound of his own voice - he is incapable of suppressing his ignorant rants! And, he, Samantha, Lindsay, Kanye, Demi, Ashton, and others need a Twitter Narcissist 12-Step Program.
I haven't had this much fun laughing since Jimmy Swaggart the preacher apologized for bangin a prostitute.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1OXAi7rNMg
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"quest to be clever" is the phrase that pays for the day... I can't wait to use it at OP.
This further cements my suspicion that he suffers from Tourette's.
Oh boo hoo, cry me a river, you phallus. You're an adult, you screwed up - shut up, man up and carry on.
You know he's only doing this WAH WAH WAH crap to get more poontang; "Oh feel sowwwy for me, I'm really so sensitive - no one understands me!"
What a cretin. And obviously his fans are even more "clever" than the women he bones. Sweet!
John, please, I'm begging you - SHUT. THE FUCK. UP.
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"No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart"
Submitted by sunny on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 11:43am.
Give up his "QUEST TO BE CLEVER"
Who the fuck does John Mayer think he is???
Don Fucking Quixote??????
Oh God...people who are CERTIFIED NARCISSISTS should not attempt apologies or retractions...it's like Jessica Simpson trying to defuse a 10 wire bomb.
Things will ALWAYS end badly
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Exactly...anyone who can talk freely about their quest for cleverness, or the "hood pass" he or she believes they have is a certified fucking narcissist.
O boo hoo hoo hoo! SO constantly persecuted you are. You're a fucking blues guitartist who makes money. And you're not even very good.
Cry me a fucking river, whore.
♥ Threadkilla!
And it isn't in education. It's history. It's poetry...It's in DListed.
~ J.D. Salinger, adapted by caprica six
Could it be... the ever-scowling SamRo?
Who's that anorexic teenage boy he's pictured with? Is Johnny trying to replace Michael Jackson as the Head Pedo-Pervert In Charge?
Can we go back to when celebs mostly kept their unintelligible, self centered, lunacy under wraps until they were dead and a tell all biography hit the stores?? Shit. Now celebs are pretty tweeting about every bizarre thought and bowel movement.
Hear this celebs: DANCE MONKEY DANCE!!! That's your only job. Entertain me, shut up, try to look pretty and go the fuck away. Don't try to smart. Don't try to be socially relevant. Don't try to be edgy. Shit! How hard is that??
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
I just don't get this guys appeal? His head alone looks like it weighs 100lbs and he whispers when he sings ("you're baaaaady is a waaaanderlaaaand"). Not to mention the idiotic faces he makes when playing his geeetar.
I was hoping this motherfucker would be shunned like Chris Brown, but based on the cheers from the audience he's forgiven already. Figures. He better hope I don't catch his ass in the street.
See, in his head we are all douchebags because we don't get his "cleverness" and witicism's, that he is just spouting shit. But we get it - we just don't have time to listen to you.
Submitted by Provolone on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 9:39am: "I also would like to take this time to apologize, one time I took a wrong turn and ended up on Webster Ave. in NYC...i frantically locked my doors. I am sorry."
You and Mayer have quite a bit in common. You're both attention whores.
I suppose it's better than not saying anything at all and just rolling on the Clever Train™ to your next asshat interview.. but fuck. The whole band with the mellow, sensitivity-groove behind this mopey shit?
Come on.
I agree with Hekki: Apology accepted. Now go away.
Give up his "QUEST TO BE CLEVER"
Who the fuck does John Mayer think he is???
Don Fucking Quixote??????
Oh God...people who are CERTIFIED NARCISSISTS should not attempt apologies or retractions...it's like Jessica Simpson trying to defuse a 10 wire bomb.
Things will ALWAYS end badly
How many times can this bitch say the word "Clever" GAWD!!! I wonder if he went to school, because he cannot construct a sentence..geez!!!
"..a vagina's worst enemy.."
That is pure poetry right there.
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Everything I need to know is in my head.......or it isn't.
I wonder if the trick he is holding blew him afterwards?
Sadly, there are still plenty of women in this world who would do this guy.
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I'm a bilingual illiterate...I can't read in 2 languages. - Pet Shop Boys
Submitted by kanderso on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 10:23am.
I can't bring myself to watch his dumbass apology
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I will co-sign that because I don't listen to this fucker anyway. Fuck his music.
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I'm a bilingual illiterate...I can't read in 2 languages. - Pet Shop Boys
Why couldn't this douche have killed himself instead of Alexander? I've always hated this simpering fuck! Always! Whenever I see that face or hear that whiny voice I get angry and nauseated at the same time. And it offends me, being from the origin of the blues (the Mississippi Delta), that this New England prepdick thinks he is a bluesman or has any clue about the black experience. The blues is one of the very best things to come from this region and we are proud of it. He's as "blue" as a goddamn smurf. Who listens to this shithead's music or follows his twit? I want to know! Even my mama doesn't listen to him.
Notice how he's apologizing only for his racist remarks, but not his sexist ones.
** http://feministguidetohollywood.blogspot.com **
Submitted by yepyepyep on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 10:50am.
and he didn't have to say he didnt like black girls just say they are beautiful that's all.
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It was especially odoriferous because he wasn't asked if he was attracted to black women. He was asked if he had black female fans throwing themselves at him or some stupid shit like that. Maybe the answer was no and he felt weird saying that so he went off in a stupid direction. The guy is majorly insecure and wearing it on his sleeve.
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Declaration of Compassion:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCqnmzSyyvI&feature=related
In his attempt to appear "clever" he also showed us that he cannot form a coherent sentence as well. Mutherfucker makes no sense at all. I've met those kinds of people before that sit there babbling and yapping and at the end of their long diatribe, you're thinking, I have no clue what that idiot just said. And you KNOW that they don't either!
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I'm your huckleberry...
If that is him rescuing Katie Holmes, then all should be forgiven. You mean, that's not Katie Holmes? Well, then John, you still have a chance to rescue her.
back to my comment I actually never say the n word
I call the Spanish the s word cause i think is funny, its slang from no speaky English my favorite term is wet back "cause we all come over by Mexico crossing a river"
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma