The Goddess In Red
When Joan Henrietta Collins hit the runway at the Red Dress fashion show in NYC last night, every single person in the audience slapped themselves as though it had come from the diamond-covered hand of Alexis Carrington herself. And then Joan spread her chiffon red wings at the end of the catwalk, everybody in the room got a text message from their husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend or mother saying that they were leaving them for Joan Collins. That's right. Only this glamorous rhinestone minx can steal your man and slap you in the face with simply the raise of her wrist.
The homely creatures who followed Joan's eyelash-singing entrance should've stayed in the back eating stale bagels. Even if unicorns came flying out of their assholes, they still couldn't beat Joan.
If you feel like you need an ice cube on your tongue to heal the burns left by Joan Collins, here's pictures of everyone else who walked in the Red Dress show last night. They are: Raven (who looked like she had just suffered hours of electro-shock therapy), Kim Kardashian, Kristen Chenoweth, Felicity Huffman, Valerie Harper, Hasselcrack, Heidi Klum, Kimora the Terrible, and Bethenny Frankel.
• 
Red is always my favorite color
---------
Celebrity Gossip
I hope those girls didn't forget to slam the door behind them!
Bethenney is one unfortunate looking bitch. ugh...Raven looks like she lost a little weight.
************
I like living this way. I like loving this way.
I really don't care abt her. She looks like a slightly younger Liz Taylor to me.
Raven is just too fucking bloated. I used to love her. Still kinda beautiful though.
************************************************s************
"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."
Outside of Joan Collins and RAVEN, that has to be the weakest bunch of "who'?s" to stroll a catwalk.
There's always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs after you.
Absolute Gospel MK
the rest of these ho's should have just called in sick after Joan.
LIVE for this Goddess!
I mean, after Joan, thats it.. try walking for the Jaclyn Smith collection , or try yoga.. or hangin from the ceiling babes.. see ya
Silence is Golden, Duct Tape is Silver.
What in the world?
_________________________________
If you put on a pair of 3D glasses, this story looks just like Avatar. ~ MK
Oops.. Apologies for the double post.
--------
"And when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life." ~ Ralph Wiggum.
Bethenny Frankel looks like The Joker, for christ sakes.
--------
"And when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life." ~ Ralph Wiggum.
Bethenny Frankel looks like The Joker, for christ sakes.
--------
"And when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life." ~ Ralph Wiggum.
LOL@ that Raven comment, was the funniest thing I read all day.
Hasselback and Frankel are way to thin, I still don't get why these woman think the lollipop head and emaciated body looks good. Kristen Chenoweth is adorable but MAN is she short!
Do we really need to see Joan Collins spreading her vaginal lips?
Very poor taste.
_________________________________
"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
OHHHHHHHH... I love Kim K's dress. They all look pretty tho.
Submitted by sushi on Fri, 02/12/2010 - 11:32pm.
Valerie Harper almost looks like Melanie Griffith in those photos (but a good looking Melanie Griffith).
***********************************************
Melanie Griffith before being hit in the face with a shovel?
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 02/12/2010 - 11:28pm.
Submitted by letinstar on Fri, 02/12/2010 - 11:22pm.
joan collins has been killing hoes for decades...bitches need to learn to recognize elegance when it enters a room...
*********************************************
I saw Jackie Collins on channel 5 news this morning, how is it she looks so much better than Christina Ricci in her 30th birthday picture?
----------------------------------------
joan collins looks fabulous because she keeps snagging those younger husbands to keep her fresh...
_____________________________________________
what you gonna do? tell mom and dad I put your dick sucking list on facebook?” – "i love facebook like you love cock..."
Valerie Harper almost looks like Melanie Griffith in those photos (but a good looking Melanie Griffith).
joan collin's has always been the poor man's elizabeth taylor...but she's aged much better.
hasselcrack as that "i work out too much" look. she looks manly. terrible dress.
i guess i am the only one who thinks this but heidi klum is just okay.
raven looks pretty good for her.
Submitted by letinstar on Fri, 02/12/2010 - 11:22pm.
joan collins has been killing hoes for decades...bitches need to learn to recognize elegance when it enters a room...
*********************************************
I saw Jackie Collins on channel 5 news this morning, how is it she looks so much better than Christina Ricci in her 30th birthday picture?
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
joan collins has been killing hoes for decades...bitches need to learn to recognize elegance when it enters a room...
_____________________________________________
what you gonna do? tell mom and dad I put your dick sucking list on facebook?” – "i love facebook like you love cock..."
not jackie, joan also writes.
This is the animatronic wax version of Joan Collins on loan from the Hollyweird Wax Mausoleum.
The real Joan's head is on ice in a Nevada Cryogenics lab, adorned with a Dynasty tiara.
.
.
At 76, Joan continues to rock.
The Michelin man rolls on Kimora's neck creep me out.
Ha! Ha! Hasselcrack. You look like crap. They stuck that bitch with the worst dress.
Submitted by Rdeadline on Fri, 02/12/2010 - 8:50pm.
Joan Collins novels are amazingly good fun trashy reads.
======
Uhhh, don't you mean Jackie Collins, Joan's sister?
************************************************
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." E.A. Poe.
************************************************
Joan Collins novels are amazingly good fun trashy reads.
I like red, I know it's part of the theme but too much red is tacky. Does every single dress need to be monochromatic?
Hekki, it made me laugh then disturbed me for a bit lol
-------------------------------
"I'm gonna roast your cat" or whatever. -Hekki
http://nakedsnooki.com/
And I don't care what that Karl asshole or anyone says, I think Heidi Klum is amazing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Don't mess with him...Trust me, you don't fuck with a man that sleeps next to a woman he never screws. They're unpredictable." ShitMyDadSays on Facebook
Dayum, Joan Collins is one hot bitch. I think I need to watch Dynasty, I was a little too young for it back in the day.
Raven looks alright. What size did she say was the biggest she's ever been, 8? Homegirl looks like a 14 easy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Don't mess with him...Trust me, you don't fuck with a man that sleeps next to a woman he never screws. They're unpredictable." ShitMyDadSays on Facebook
God I adore Joan Collins.
Nice photos. Joan Collins is still looking good.
http://www.jamaica-fact-fest.com
Kimora is scaring me...she looks like a tranny...but Heidi looks amazing..how many chirruns has she had already and she keeps getting her bod back...lucky dog. Raven does look like she has had some serious shock therapy (MK YOU KILL ME!!). But Joan Rules as usual. Ladies, (I'm talking to you Vadge)...THIS IS HOW YOU AGE GRACEFULLY!!!
They all look ravishing. My favorite dresses are Heidi Klum, Kim Kardashian and Joan Collins!
Submitted by kinseyholley on Fri, 02/12/2010 - 7:35pm.
That's it. She's more.. discerning. She's had work done but also has the sense to know hanging at an annoying club is sad.
I think they all look gorgeous, which I'm surprised about considering not everyone looks good in red. I especially like the dress on Felicity Huffman.
My only critique is the dress on Kristin Chenoweth. She'd look better with a simpler neckline, less décolletage, and a little more support.
Collins, Klum, and Huffman look the best, IMHO. The others . . . meh, but I won't hate since it's for a good cause (and esp. since the women in my family do have a history of heart disease).
------------------------------------------------
May love love you today <3
Joan Collins is incredible, and I applaud the way she's aged, with dignity and style. She's obviously had some work done, but not too much. She hasn't tried to fight the passage of time with tooth and nail and hideous desperation.
Joan Collins would not be caught dead french kissing her boytoy in a club. French kissing her boytoy on a yacht or a fabulously expensive restaurant, yes, but not in a noisy, sweaty club surrounded by people less than half her age.
When I was a little girl I wanted to dress like Rhoda (I loved the head scarves) and I wanted a bead curtain in my room. My mother wouldn't allow either.
Submitted by You_Complete_Me. on Fri, 02/12/2010 - 5:38pm.
haha, She IS about that age. And her bf is obscenely young I think that's about right.. kind of excellent how shameless she is. Somehow her dating a young one doesn't look desperate as it looks on Madonna w/ her little pocket Jesus. She makes it work!
Ah, Joan. I love that beast. No faux humility or soundbites about 'giving back' and helping save the children.. no, she's just Joan and she's a bitch. Refreshing like Irish Spring soap.
As for this pose on the cat walk I just flash back to Buffalo Bill's cavorting-in-cape scene in Silence of The Lambs.
Blondes just don't do it for me. None of the blondes in these pics look appealing.
This would be even fucking hotter if Collins walked out with a (prosthetic) baby bump. Who could the father be??????
I have ALWAYS disliked Collins - why? I'm not quite sure, but one thing hasn't changed throughout the years - my thorough distaste for her.
Joan Collins is the queen bitch, I got nothing cunty to say about her. She looks amazing.
Joan Collins looks great.
Joan once again shows a bunch of $2 whores how its done.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dealbreakers: Man He No Good For You by Lesbian Yellow Sourfruit
Bethanny is preggos.
Hasselcrack's dress is a mess.
Don't know who Bethenny Frankel is, but that dress looks great on her.
..........................................
Walking around Chelsea this morning, I received the best surprise of my life, as I stumbled upon a smathering of ads featuring Joan Collins. She is the new face of Alexis Bittar's jewelry and the ads looks AMAZING.
Check it out: http://www.alexisbittar.com/blog/?p=273
Kelly Taylor: Well we all have our crosses to bear.
Brenda Walsh: Or our legs to uncross.
-----episode 3.14 "Wild Horses," Beverly Hills 90210
Joan Collins looks fabulous! I checked her age, she is 76!