The "Over The Moon" Watch
Shayne Lamas tells UsWeekly that her 52-year-old father Lorenzo is not only engaged to his 23-year-old girlfriend, but he's "over the moon" in love with her. Shayne needs to go back to school, because it is impossible for Lorenzo to be over the moon. When Lorenzo and the Empress of Lucite divorced, his access to the moon was taken away. Lorenzo is no longer allowed near the moon. Shayne should've said that he's over the strip club neon sign. That would've been more fitting and accurate.
So yes, the Yanni of Santa Monica asked his girlfriend of 3-months to be his wife. She said "yes." And get this mess, her name is Shawna Craig. SHAWNA! The "W" must stand for wannabe whore! It's pretty obvious what Lorenzo is trying to do here. He's trying to replicate the Beauty and the Beast romance he had with Shauna Sand. It won't be long before Shawna tries to dye her hair angel whisper blonde to match Shauna's. And when Shawna tries to walk in a pair of exquisite lucite heels, they will commit suicide by breaking into a million pieces. Lucite's heart will always belong to Shauna Sand.
I mean, there's no replacing this:
That's like trying to recreate the Creation of Adam on a toilet in a junkyard using old markers and melted Crayons. Only Shauna Sand can blind men with her natural beauty (see the dude in the white shirt). Lorenzo needs to stop!
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Is that Salma Hayek's brother?
Love means matching mustaches.
letinstar, I was thinking the same exact thing..is that his daughter? Shame on him for thinking some young 23 year old girl loves his old ass.
He had a good thing going with his girl Shauna, my God, the matching pants and dress combo. They were meant to be together for life!!! They should have been buried in those matching leopard prints.
LOL!!
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Sorry, my English is not very good looking." Celia Cruz
"the Yanni of Santa Monica"
AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!
--thanks awfully--
Are we positive that is a woman?
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
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All that I'm after is a life full of laughter as long as I'm laughing with you.
Ewwww 23?? This means he's probably going to breed again. More fug and stupid Lamasses in world (and these are going to be extra fug, his child bride looks like Jay Leno in drag)
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
That is one swarthy looking girl!
Her tits are up to her chin. Ick!
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"No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart"
Hmm. Girlfriend has a mustache. I would be happy to wax that for her (I am a licensed professional. Don't try this at home, kids.) I am quite certain that I can see dark nasal hairs peeking out there, too.
Who are these people
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"Money first, orgasms second." - Michael K
Woooahhh To Lorenzo's eyebrow game. His forehead is on his knees!!
Thats either some serious sads, neanderthal genes taking over or some very bad hair pulling eyebrow waxing that has caused this. They (him and Lucite Lover) used to be a lot better looking.I like their matchy matchy leopardo.
I'll burn that bridge when I come to it....
She looks like a fucked up version of salma hayek. Lovely eyebrows though. and ZOMG! shauna used to be very pretty, facewise.
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"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."
Either way, this girl needs a wax.
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"The Count on Sesame Street is scarier and more captivating than those preening whack vamps from Twilight." DListed user Master Blaster 6/09/09 (So true!)
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Submitted by snideychick on Tue, 02/23/2010 - 1:33am.
His new piece looks like a Target version of Penelope Cruz
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I think she looks like a Taco Bell version of Salma Hayek.
I looked at these pics side by side and they do not look like the same guy at all.
I love how the midget in the bottom pic is shading his eyes as to not to be busted at the Playboy Mansion sans wedding ring.
Snideychick sez:
Lorenzo has lost the hot in a major way. Sad.
His new piece looks like a Target version of Penelope Cruz. Also sad.
@dcgirl: It is true. You never see Lamas with the three girls.
Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Mon, 02/22/2010 - 9:39pm.
If this is some attempt at gold-digging, I give it an EPIC FAIL! There's no way he's rich. I doubt the "Renegade" checks are still rolling in.
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Considering his old Hollywood lineage, there's a good chance he's very wealthy. Father, Fernando Lamas; mother, Arlene Dahl; and, stepmother, Esther Williams. He's always come off to me as a smug trust fund baby.
Either way, if he wants to take care of little girls, instead of marrying one, he should take care of the ones he's basically abandoned to SS. My heart goes out to them for being subjected to another freak show marriage.
@Valtrex: HAHAHAHA!
www.guccisneakers1.com
Gucci is a high-end Italian fashion label designed by Guccio Gucci, specializing in luxury goods for men and women (handbag, leather accessories, shoes, and apparel and hats), founded by Guccio Gucci in Florence in 1921.
Submitted by Miami on Tue, 02/23/2010 - 12:40am.
Lamas used to be a hot piece. He was in some show in the 80's and he was always being referred to as a "heart throb".
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He went from heart throb to pacemaker.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
His pants are not leopard.
He's walking around naked from the waist down covered with giant blackheads.
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
Lamas used to be a hot piece. He was in some show in the 80's and he was always being referred to as a "heart throb".
He has aged well, but he needs to get some Grecian Formula on that goatee. He will look years younger.
She's just in it for the AARP discount.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Her eyebrow waxing bill must be crazy!
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Judge This Haters!
She'll dump him as soon as she finds out his Medicare won't pay for her boob job.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 02/22/2010 - 11:53pm.
Submitted by letinstar on Mon, 02/22/2010 - 11:50pm.
lorenzo looks like this girl's grampa...i'm sure they both have plenty to talk about to each other...
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They've both recently been treated for diaper rash.
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obviously depends and snuggies are stocked side by side on the store shelves which is how i'm convinced these two must've meet...they probably even share babywipes...true love and so much in common!
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what you gonna do? tell mom and dad I put your dick sucking list on facebook?” – "i love facebook like you love cock..."
When Lorenzo and the Empress of Lucite divorced, his access to the moon was taken away.
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LOL! Werd.
♥ Threadkilla!
Taking slang to a HO. NUDDA. LEBEL!~ For real, eh?
Submitted by letinstar on Mon, 02/22/2010 - 11:50pm.
lorenzo looks like this girl's grampa...i'm sure they both have plenty to talk about to each other...
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They've both recently been treated for diaper rash.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
lorenzo looks like this girl's grampa...i'm sure they both have plenty to talk about to each other...
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what you gonna do? tell mom and dad I put your dick sucking list on facebook?” – "i love facebook like you love cock..."
I bet when she brought him home to meet her parents, they said "OMG, my grandparents loved Michael Bolton!!!"
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by beakers bitch on Mon, 02/22/2010 - 11:44pm.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 02/22/2010 - 11:25pm.
She was just blown away when he made his stage debut last year at the beeyootiful Willis Theater at Kean University in Union, NJ. I think he played Mr. Drummond.
LOL! Dang, TV, you on a roll tonight.....but don't you mean a dinner theater in Hoboken?
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Nope, I was working there when he made his debut in front of 137 people that had free tickets. I gave him 5 bucks when he parked my car though, so at least he can get another pair of those pants.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Lorenzo looks like an old sleaze in both photos. The empress would indeed be a beauty without that dress and tattoo.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 02/22/2010 - 11:25pm.
She was just blown away when he made his stage debut last year at the beeyootiful Willis Theater at Kean University in Union, NJ. I think he played Mr. Drummond.
LOL! Dang, TV, you on a roll tonight.....but don't you mean a dinner theater in Hoboken?
I like how she's trying to hold his hernia in.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
He's only marrying her because he can't afford new monogrammed towels.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Every word after “the Yanni of Santa Monica” was superfluous.
Haha! So true! I remember being terrified of it. It/she was in a box. I think it was just her head/mouth.
Team Valtrex
How can you be sure it was a doll?
Submitted by yolie on Mon, 02/22/2010 - 11:26pm.
I still remember the Shauna Sand sex doll I saw at the Hustler store about 10 years ago. I so wish I could find it for MK!
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Damn! Nice hooker shoes, baby. Can you dance in those things?
Daddy Spears
Submitted by Sweetas on Mon, 02/22/2010 - 11:29pm.
Nice pants LARENZO! Bwahahahaha!! *wipes tears*
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Somewhere in California, Kevin Dubrow of Quiet Riot is rolling in his grave.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
This girl isn't ugly, but she's no looker, either. It's funny to think how she would have been way beneath him back in the day. Back when he was above-average good-looking and would only hook up with the likes of Shauna Sands, who was also extraordinarily pretty. Like Vadge with Jesus, loss of youth makes the youth-chasers settle.
Porn movie Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem.
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
Nice pants LARENZO! Bwahahahaha!! *wipes tears*
Submitted by yolie on Mon, 02/22/2010 - 11:26pm.
I still remember the Shauna Sand sex doll I saw at the Hustler store about 10 years ago. I so wish I could find it for MK!
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How can you be sure it was a doll?
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
I like the biker look better than the Hollywood gigolo thing.
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"You don't fucking say.”
I still remember the Shauna Sand sex doll I saw at the Hustler store about 10 years ago. I so wish I could find it for MK!
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Damn! Nice hooker shoes, baby. Can you dance in those things?
Daddy Spears
She was just blown away when he made his stage debut last year at the beeyootiful Willis Theater at Kean University in Union, NJ. I think he played Mr. Drummond.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Wow, she didn't always look like a shrinky dink! Who knew.
wow shauna used to be so pretty...
wow, the Empress used to be gorgeous! What happened to her, she is downright freakish now...soo sad, makes me grateful to be all natural. This new chica is real pretty, hope she doesn't fuck up her face with to much of everything...like Shauna...
Skinny people don't age well. Just look at his face!!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Internet fakers: http://www.paris-kim.com/potholes/munch.htm
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http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2009-03/24/reports-of-my-death.aspx?...