Wednesday, February 24th 2010
5 Things I'd Like To Do To The "Showgirls: The Return" Trailer
When I first read that German filmmaker Marc Vorlander was working on a sequel to the most important cinematic masterpiece of the 20th Century, I was genuinely excited. But my excitement has gone limp after seeing this NSFW trailer for Showgirls: The Return.
This broke ass shit cost $25 million, but it makes a Heidi Montag video look like it has the budget of a James Cameron movie.
Unless your name is Tiger Woods, Josh Duhamel or Matthew Fox, there is no need to watch this mess. It's just 4-minutes of topless strippers thrusting and writhing around.
If I ever meet this trailer in Las Vegas, these are the 5 things I would do to it:
1:
2:
3:
The other 2 are after the jump since they feature shiny nipples. JUMP!
4:
5:
(gifs via iconzicons)
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It looks like the movie isn't about shows or showgirls at all. And isn't that music just a ripoff of the Halloween theme? Sounds like it to me.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
the European license plate on a car in Vegas is a nice touch
This is the stupidest shit I've seen in a long long time!
I think I just vomited a little in my mouth.
A missed opportunity for Firecrotch. Bummer! (LOL)
what kind of effing idiot picks up a murder weapon with their bare hands!! she obviously was one of the broke ass meth hookers who couldn't afford a t.v. set and therefore never watched 'law and order' i mean DUHH bitch
tits and ass thats all i need
has my approval
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WANNA MEET MY MOM HERE SHE IS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9HJSolyhpg&feature=related
Showgirls made me want to vom. And I mean that literally - I never abuse the word "literally" - I had to leave the theater because I was sure I was about to barf. It was like they took all the vilest aspects of humanity and put them on parade. And it went on and on, just getting uglier and evil-er. And then, in the end, the only non-asshole in the whole story gets gang-raped and ends up in the hospital while the lead skank sashays off into the sunset to skank it up another day. I'd rather watch some eyeball-slicing than that steaming pile of diarrhea.
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If I wanted something covered in cum and gold eyeshadow I'd steal Adam Lambert's hoody. --Helen Killer @ Regretsy
The "new" Heidi Montag is perfect for this role...just perfect.
I'm amazed Lohan isn't in this piece of shit.
Meh, I call fake on this one. Fake, fake, fake.
WHAT THE FUCK?? Is this a horror movie? Everybody is so ugly. And the music - huh??? Epic FAIL.
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"No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart"
whoa, kelly cutrone at 3:05!
MK - either my Mac or your server don't like the animated gifs overload thing. Any scroll near those things gets the little rainbow pride wheel spinnin' and a frozen screen.
Shit! I prolly coulda had 3 good lap dances in the time it took to watch that crap trailer.
♥ Threadkilla!
Taking slang to a HO. NUDDA. LEBEL!~ For real, eh?
Submitted by evoandflash on Wed, 02/24/2010 - 5:18pm.
Ahahahahaha Soul Glo!!! I love that movie Coming to America!! Welcome to Dlisted. :)
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I could use more dopamine and serotonin resulting from the laughter and caring from the Dlisted crew! ~ Tiffany/grapedrinkbaby
I could only take less than 2 mins of the trailer, but it looks just as good as the original. Just different--like the froggy pet joe pesci had in that lethal weapon movie...
What is the deal about flopping out of the bath and crawling like a nemetode? Trying to re-cycle some footage from Eastern Promises?
How can they do this to a classic!???
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http://evolutionflashback.blogspot.com
Is this a joke?
Showgirls is so campy! I love watching it. I'm happy that it became a cult classic.
This new sequel - no thanks.
Wonder where all the stock footage in that "trailer" came from since a bunch of the "landmarks" shown no longer exist on the Strip. The giant skull used to be the sign at Treasure Island but now that the pirate theme is gone and it's just called T.I., the skull got thrown in the sign boneyard (very apropos) over at Diablo Road. This sequel looks like crap anyway.
"What's your motto?" "Kill everyone NOW"
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 02/24/2010 - 2:20pm.
Dang. If you have to resort to that, someone isn't doing something right! And it ain't me!
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I could use more dopamine and serotonin resulting from the laughter and caring from the Dlisted crew! ~ Tiffany/grapedrinkbaby
Just watched Showgirls for like the 98th time last week and each time it never gets old.
Charlize Theron, and Miss Jolie are some of who auditioned for this craptastic cinematic masterpiece. But to their defense, they were both teenagers on drugs during that time, as for Sharon StoneBitch, she was only continuing her "Basic Instinct" role and could not do any better.
"When they go crazy, you're supposed to go crazy, too. If somebody messes with my six year-old, I'm cutting a motherfucker's head off. Then taking it to a bar and talk to it. A scotch and soda for me and get my friend here a beer." - Paul Mooney
What was number one?
This movie was awesome.. and how many gallons of water do you think Jessie Spano wasted in the pool scene?
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"I truly don't like you as a person. Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?"
Yeah, but does it have a wig-pulling scene?
That movie made me seriously question my sexuality. I just need the right girl to answer the question (Tilda Swinton where are you?) The film also started my brown rice and vegetables eating disorder. Is it in blu-ray yet?
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"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli."
Showgirls always means two things to me:
Bobbie Phillips' boobs. :)
The last one has disappeared.
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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Wed, 02/24/2010 - 2:07pm.
Holy shit, I was looking at the imdb
trivia for the orginal showgirls and found out that Saint Angelina auditioned for Gina Gershon's role.
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Really??? LOL! Oh, life would be so much more Angelina-free if she had scored that part!
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And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know?
evil. evil sick cunt people to do this.
I have a feeling that this is just a mock-up to send to the producers so the director can get $25 million. Both Saw and 9 (the animated one) were based on short films that were pitched to producers. There's no way this is real.
Submitted by salacious on Wed, 02/24/2010 - 2:18pm.
Guys don't need to fake, how could we? I wouldn't know how.
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It's doable and it happens...especially when a trick doesn't live up to the expectations once you hit the sheets and you don't want to hurt their feelings by cutting them short and sending them home immediately. and there's no need to spit anything on their backs either lol
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtnFg0KOQcA
Oh and for those wondering , the soundtrack on that trailer is a sample or rip off from an old Spoonie Gee hip hop beat.
this shit just looks mean and hateful. not campy fun, I agree with posters below that mess with Cher and Crotchtina called "Burlesque" will be the REAL sequel to Showgirls.
Silence is Golden, Duct Tape is Silver.
Submitted by salacious on Wed, 02/24/2010 - 2:18pm.
Guys don't need to fake, how could we? I wouldn't know how.
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Errr...i'm afraid I've had to, simply because ahhh I take a long time to cum and aaaahhhh once she's had multiples already and asks if I've cum yet I'll just say "Yes (yesterday, and the day before, but not right now)" because otherwise ahhh we'd be bangin' till Jesus returns to smite us.
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Bottom-feeder.
Gorge your eyes on Gorgeous Georgina : http://sites.google.com/site/gorgeousgeorginashow/home
sal - I mentioned it in an earlier post.... moan, pull out, and spit on their back. ahahahahaha I guess. I've never tried it but am curious now.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I'd jack off to jack-in-the-hat if he was on the cover before her" Eddie
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 02/24/2010 - 2:12pm.
what...don't tell me you've never faked one for real.
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ahahahahahahahahahaaaaa spicey! No, sir....! I have a good enough imagination! LOL
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Guys don't need to fake, how could we? I wouldn't know how.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 02/24/2010 - 2:12pm.
ahahahahahahahahahaaaaa spicey! No, sir....! I have a good enough imagination! LOL
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either that or you've never had a lame fuck partner whose suck&fuck game is weak.
Good for you, lucky bitch ha! :-P
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtnFg0KOQcA
Submitted by SpiceDong on Wed, 02/24/2010 - 2:08pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 02/24/2010 - 1:50pm.
ETA - no, I think I could fake one actually... just start moaning and spit on your back... ahahaha
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what...don't tell me you've never faked one for real.
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ahahahahahahahahahaaaaa spicey! No, sir....! I have a good enough imagination! LOL
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I'd jack off to jack-in-the-hat if he was on the cover before her" Eddie
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 02/24/2010 - 1:50pm.
ETA - no, I think I could fake one actually... just start moaning and spit on your back... ahahaha
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what...don't tell me you've never faked one for real.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtnFg0KOQcA
Holy shit, I was looking at the imdb trivia for the orginal showgirls and found out that Saint Angelina auditioned for Gina Gershon's role.
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"Don't be afraid. I'm right behind you. Using you as a shield."
the first one may now be considered a cult / camp film, but it was a box office and critical failure in its day...why would they even want to do a sequel to that is beyond stupid, especially when this sequel looks 10 times worse than the original based on that crappy trailer...no one would want to see that. I give it a totally "limp" rating...it has ways to go to get a "fully erect" rating in my book.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtnFg0KOQcA
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 02/24/2010 - 1:59pm.
the gifs are REALLY getting annoying.
You betcha! I think MK has hidden subliminal messages in them. We all will start having seizures shortly.
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Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 02/02/2010 - 2:29pm.
loozer, you are not right.
Soy un perdedor
Pleco, you're looking sexy as usual, come here so I can give you a dollah or two...
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 02/24/2010 - 1:56pm.
*stuffs dollah in eebil thong*
I'll take that dollah in my STAINS thong too! A few of my guy friends that are married, they go to strip clubs, I've tagged along when we go to conferences. I expected to feel like an ugly duckling, instead I felt great! LOL
Me likes the way Pleco thinks!
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Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 02/02/2010 - 2:29pm.
loozer, you are not right.
Soy un perdedor
the gifs are REALLY getting annoying.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I'd jack off to jack-in-the-hat if he was on the cover before her" Eddie
Damn it - I can't see the pictures. :(
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"No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart"
That looks like one of the first VHS porn tapes I ever bought back in the 80's.
Submitted by loozer on Wed, 02/24/2010 - 1:41pm.
I thought that was a dude's buttocks until I clicked the arrow. Major letdown.
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Well, we can always hope that Mario Lopez can persuade Mark-Paul Gosselaar to do a male stripper version of this camp classic.
Screech can play the fluffer.
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Bottom-feeder.
Gorge your eyes on Gorgeous Georgina : http://sites.google.com/site/gorgeousgeorginashow/home