Joan Rivers Tells Posh To Fuck Off

Here's a true story based on personal "Posh" experience.

Twas the winter of '99 in London. As usual a celebrity was sought to turn on the Bond Street Christmas Lights. In that year none other than her Poshness was chosen, she largely still enjoying the rise of fame and popularity back then.

After the official turning on of the lights, with all media attention that normally follows the event, as is customary, a party was held, in that year being in the famous jewellers ASPREY's, thrown by it's owner Mr Edward Asprey. Special guest was of course none other than Ms Beckham. When Vic the not-so-posh arrived, sporting her infamous sneer/grimace (she says she doesn't like to smile because her smile isn't flattering...what, and her sneer is ???) she proceeded to harrass Edward Asprey about the presence of photographers in his gorgeous 5 floor temple to all that glitters and sparkles. Ms "I'm more famous that you", began to get just a little hysterical with her host, loudly insisting that because she had an exclusive with OK Magazine, only photographers from OK were allowed to take photos of her and that all others will have to leave the party. To which Mr Asprey, with all the dignified grace of a true English Gentelman, said in a hushed tone, that as this was his store, and it was his party, that he'd damn well have whatever media he pleased, present. Pish-posh was miffed. Nonetheless she stayed put to quoff enough free champagne and make sure her pic was snapped by anyone interested. Sadly there were a few who did.

The icing on the cake was yet to occur though - as on leaving the party she stepped outside into the cold Bond Street winter night to find her black Range Rover that she's left illegally parked on the sidewalk opposite Asprey's, had been ticketed and clamped ! Well hysterical is an understatement as to her reaction and behaviour.

Such is life in the mind of the wannabees. Never satisfied, never genuine, never modest. Pish posh spice Beckham will live on enjoying her spoils and why not. But to consider her worthwile, admirable, useful or talented is to be woefully mistaken. As one journalist said a few years ago when describing Ms Buckham, she's simply a pointless collection of skin and bones.

http://crispiestshoes.blogspot.com

oh my god... I loved everything she said! it sounds just about 93485340583405834058345 % accurate.

Forgive me if i'm wrong but this quote from The Rivers dates back from a while ago doesn't it?

Oh well. It's still dead on.

Posh is the Queen of Chavs.

Wow. She is one to talk. Her "outrageous consumption' is written all over her MELTING FACE.

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I like living this way. I like loving this way.

Joan has spent a great deal of money on "consumption" but she has also given 10% of everything she has ever made, to charity. Can't fault her there.

Posh is an anorexic, fame whoring, talentless fool who is no more a soccer-mom that I am a rocket scientist.
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Dark-sided!

I love you Joan..

Posh is a worthless whore who depends on a husband who routinely cheats on her boney ass.

Joan is right on the fuckin' money. Posh is a retard who used to bounce around a stage, and mime along to children's songs.

HOW is this bitch any better than the Wiggles?

Oh, I forgot that she's a fashion designer now. I doubt that Posh's brittle anorexic fingers could thread a needle, let alone summon the dexterity to sew a button.

I LOVED the documentary that she filmed where she tried to invent a catch phrase for herself. MAHJAH!

Bitch, shove it up your pussy.

And then it turned out that most of her 'friends' were actresses! Hahahahahaha, MAHJAH!

The most hilarious thing about Posh is that nobody actually cares what the fuck she does. She can't sell records, her shows never attract any press, and people only ever take her picture to mock her in the tabloids.

She is a pig, and should be thankful that she found another moron to share his wealth with her.

Even on American Idol, one of the biggest shows on the planet, she couldn't manage to gather any sympathy or good-will.

We get it whore, you think that you are a style icon. Just keep making facile comments about shoes and skin (might want to sand some of the callouses off your your own there, Davey Jones)and maybe somebody will let you in on the joke.

The joke being you.

OINK OINK OINK!!!!

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@ZiggyStardust:

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i

Joan Rivers is a national treasure, a bitch goddess. This makes me love her even more.

Joan Rivers has always been one of my favorites, I think she went a bit overboard w.the plastic surgery, but hey, she looks fabulous in the face area, not a wrinkle to be found and she makes fun of herself, so who gives a shit.

Im SO happy she said that about VB. I love that she reminds her that she was a spice girl. She wouldn't be shit if she weren't married to Beckham.

Wowww, that was quite lovely Joan!

I'm almost getting a natural high with all the cuntiness today - that's so perfect, "Calm down, you were a Spice Girl." You have to admit, VB is a bit of a freak show!

The last time I was in New York and walking up Madison Avenue, I noticed a well dressed older woman coming out of one of the designer stores and heading to her waiting car. I recognized the voice immediately. It was Joan Rivers. She turned and when she saw me, smiled and said hi. I also noted that she was very kind to her driver.

Submitted by Im a Princess on Thu, 02/25/2010 - 11:17am.

She doesn't just have a 1000k bag. I bet she has at least 4-5 of those things.

Most fashion magazines in the UK went out of their way to give VB hell, they couldn't bear it that she had it all. They tried to promote the cocain addict Kate Moss as the ideal, for some strange reason. Most unbiased reporters find VB nice , and friendly with a great sense of humour.In the many interviews I have listened to with her, she was pleasant, polite and had a great sense of humour.People find it easier to pretend that she is awful, she isn't. I know nothing about Joan Rivers, except that she is a plastic surgery junkie.

Totally agree with Joan on this one! The Beckhams need to return back to "entitlement" land........England.

Submitted by tonta vodka van... on Thu, 02/25/2010 - 5:58am.
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i'm constantly amazed at how many ways there are to be racist! "gypsy gene pool"? perhaps you should goback to your eugenics experiments in the basement.

on-topic: i think rivers is telling the truth - she's certainly got no more dignity to lose.

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Danny: [slaps Bandy]
Archie: No, no, no, NO. Come on, do it properly with the back of the right hand.

Thank you Joan for opening our eyes to Posh's vulgar level of consumption & entitlement oh Queen of The Surgeries of Plastique (to the point of being unrecognizable as a human being).

I think you really drive your point home wearing your fur coat & jewelry...a nice touch to show how vulgar other people can be.

Can't say I dislike(d) VB...she always seemed like a good mom and wife.
I do think however that Joan is probably right. I was rather disgusted when I heard David bought her ass a $100K bag. Really...that is just so over the top and so tacky imo. She is over the top and does have that air of entitlement about her when yeah, she's "just Posh Spice"...

I love these kinds of posts because it let's us all know how vapid and vain celebrities really are and allow us to truly enjoy shredding them on blogs like Dlisted. I actually like(d) Victoria Beckham but after reading several stories about her like this...I have to say she is looking quite cunty right about now.

Fuck I love this bitch!

joan rivers is an old broad and doesn't give a shit. glad someone had the guts to tell it like it is.

Submitted by dlaugher on Wed, 02/24/2010 - 11:11pm.
I meant at least posh is quiet
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She's a huge PR whore. The worst, IMO, at pimping out her kids or at least that was the case when she still lived in the UK.

The thing I hate most is that she and her PR people try to paint her as this nice, down-to-earth gal when she is actually very rude esp. to staff or so-called "little people."

Also, it's hilarious she was "Posh Spice" when she is not posh in the least. I always thought it was meant to be ironic.

Nice!

Mad Cobra vs. Mad Lion

Whenever I see pictures of Posh I think: UGH. When I see her talk on The View or whatever she seems rather normal and nice. Which one is she? Her husband is a bore to me.

I gotta say..luvin' the Joan on this....

Eat Whale Blubber

Team Joan.

They're both natural beauties. Bury the scapel and move on, bitches!

Submitted by GucciSneakers on Wed, 02/24/2010 - 11:32pm.
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How 'bout you go fuck yourself sideways & up-'n-down with one of your Gucci re-creations?

<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>
"I am going to rock myself in a corner in my Slanket now." - Plecostomus

Yet another reason to love Joan Rivers.

Joan probably ıs not lyıng so I co-sıgn thıs shıt!

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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:

xadesmultimedia@gmail.com

We (HEART!) Joan but we WANT THAT WATCH!!!!!!!!!!!

it's okay joan...you're entitled to hating her, she's richer, younger and has a hotter husband...

and you're just a dying old pathetic hag...

Sounds like another case of the pot calling the kettle.

Nevamind. I'm just glad now that I'm home-schooled.

♥ Threadkilla!
Taking slang to a HO. NUDDA. LEBEL!~ For real, eh?

Thank you Joan for saying what everyone else has been paid not to say.

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"Indeed, the first cause of human ignorance....is subjection to authority which does not merit it." Robert Grosseteste (d. 1253)

"Calm down, you were a Spice Girl". Priceless, Ms. Rivers!

Well it's about time somebody said it..even if it was another cuntface biyotch. but i believe her, in the art of bitchery it takes one to know one honey..bra-vo!

Oh..And bitterwaitress.com is still there...not sure about the list tho

Nucka Prease

I reckon Posh is from the Gypsy Gene pool. Her and Jordan (Katie Price)Both into all the ostentatious crap. Big Flouncy show off shit. Only difference is Victoria managed to streamline the continual acquisition into a tight skirt and a Birkin as opposed to the Baseball cap/ Gucci bag ensemble she started off in.
Katie Prices' Horse drawn carriage pumpkin and dress the ultimate Gypsy affirmation.

http://www.nowmagazine.co.uk/imageBank/c/carrihage.jpg
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/my-big-fat-gypsy-wedding

I'll burn that bridge when I come to it....

Joan knows her schitt. She always asks the hairdressers, stylists and limo drivers the 411 about celebs and THEY know.

Joan is alot better looking than posh in the face department and that's sayin something.

Submitted by GlitterKitty on Thu, 02/25/2010 - 3:39am.

For anyone that rags on Joan here. She is right.. Posh is the worst celeb I have ever met. Not only has she got the worst skin imaginable, she is probably quite insecure but she behaves like a bitch.____________________________________
LOL! "Worst skin imaginable"- She does have some nasty skin. Total coke head pill popper. People who have skin like that are doing drug's. She probably has a nasty snatch too. UGH! I hate to be that waxer.

Posh is lame. She need's to get over herself. It is so tacky at this point.

I love Joan Rivers , say what you want, that is one woman who has never stopped working for the last 4 decades and managed to stay relevant in one way or the other , even if its to be a spectacle to be made fun of .

Posh is/ was doing what, pointing at a camera and lip syncing for a couple of years?
I agree with everything she said and Trosh is just one of MANY on this bullshit sense of entitlement list. (see below)
Bear in mind also that this is just part of the legacy that 8yrs of Bush got us. I mean , if this is how our alleged leaders behave, then what are we to expect of private citizens?

Also saying she is too short to be a diva , thats not quite accurate because most of our fave women singers entertainers are teeny tiny with a head and body ratio of a Charms Blow Pop.

Ugh.. how I would LOVE for this common twit to bark some shit to me so I could reward her with a drink to the face.

It will happen too eventually some boot wiper will get fed up with her nonsense and let her have it . See also Linda Stein

PLEASE GOD I beg, let the cameras be rolling!

Silence is Golden, Duct Tape is Silver.

Oh and if Americans want to accept her as a lady, then fine by me but ask any Brit and they will tell you she speaks incredibly common.
Which is fine, but don't sell yourself like some posh bitch.

For anyone that rags on Joan here. She is right.. Posh is the worst celeb I have ever met. Not only has she got the worst skin imaginable, she is probably quite insecure but she behaves like a bitch. We worked with her in London and we couldn't stop laughing at the sense of entitlement bitch was feeling. Joan is spot on: She was a Spice Girl. One who never really sang and all she ever did was doing that STUPID pointing at the camera. That was her only move. She married someone far more talented and that is the reason she is still in the limelight. She made some okay dresses (I say she, I meant Roland Mourret of course) and thinks this has elevated her to the top of the chain. She shows her collection in NYC not London where she is from and which is the place to show at the moment anyway, because she is so desperate to make it in the USA.

Anyway. Joan. RIGHT ON. We had less trouble with Lohan when she did a shoot for us and my God she was foaming from the mouth and talking like a loon so go figure.

victoria beckham totally lacks class. Her publicists promote her as a lady, but she is an arrogant entitled twat. It doesn't matter how much money she has, she's still a twat. Like the old phrase goes, "you can't polish a pile of shit; it's always going to be a pile of shit".

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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits

I would like to start a write-in campaign for Joan Rivers as hostess of the Tonight Show before Jay Leno sits his lame ass in that chair again. She should have had it in the 90's!

Is Joan doing that Vadge dye the roots dark to look younger thing? The last famous senior with unnaturally dark hair was Ronald Reagan and that was Grecian Formula fer sure.

Joan is an over consumer of plastic.

Her nose...it's like she's breathing us in...hang on everybody!

Most of hollywood folk are weirdos so I can't be on anyone's side.

Coma Caca!
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