Who Wants To See Mike Patton's Peen?
I'm sure there's a few of you out there who wake up every morning, kick the stranger out of your bed and then pray to Al Gore's laptop to bring you new pictures of Faith No More's Mike Patton flashing his dickness for everyone to see. Well, your prayers have finally been heard, because Faith No More 2.0 posted a curious picture of Mike Patton bringing his dick out at a show in Brisbane, Australia last weekend.
This isn't your memaw's wang shot either. I really don't know what's going on here. It's like David Lynch stepped in to direct this dick flash. I mean, Mike's giving hot oral to a mic while stretching his soft noodle out for the camera? The Hell? And obviously, that peen was not ready for its close-up! Anyway, Patton's peen is after the jump. It's not safe for work or for people who are abnormally obsessed with trying to solve picture puzzles. JUMP!
Click here to see a slightly bigger version (that's not a pun, trust me).
(Thanks Kat)
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Dude... it's Mike Patton!
@Pussycow you are so right! He is a genius. Doesn't matter what his dick looks like!!!
Anyway he makes his own rules, I don't think he did it to shock, I just think he does whatever the fuck he wants! :)
Who is that?
I wonder why he wanted to show off his shortcomings?
Looks like a half eaten bread stick.
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
y'all been HAD! that's a fake dick. mike loves fucking with the public eye...
Ahh, he used to be so cute back in the day, and now he's doing shit like this. It's a bitch getting old, man.
He ate poo.
Also his personality is big enough to make up for anything.
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
I'll just assume that it is flaccid and he is stretching it out, which would make it look particularly unappealing. I've seen other pictures where it looked pretty normal... He's a pretty good-looking man, anyway.
Ew, now the very first article/picture that comes up when you look for him on google is THIS.
As a general rule, unless your peen is the same size as the mike in your mouth, you should *not* display it to the world.
Anyway, I like Mike. He's hella talented, creative and hard-working. Why he never reached the fame level of Fred (ugh) Durst is a mystery for the ages.
You want it all but you can't have it! WTF? My sister was in the same class
as Mike Patton. Good thing she didn't hit that!
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Nourish the Inner Asshole
Borrachas of the world unite and take over!
Holy small pickle....he should be keeping that little guy in those pants.
He just needs to put it in my mouth, preferably while he sings "Evidence," and all will be okay.
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Smiling with the mouth of the ocean And I wave to you with the arms of the mountain...
Faith No More was the most underated band of the 90s. I met Mike Patton at a show in Hollywood and he was such a cool guy. It's all about the Small Victory video!
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Damn! Nice hooker shoes, baby. Can you dance in those things?
Daddy Spears
It's in your hand but you cant grab it! what is it?
He's just living the lyrics to his biggest hit, stretch Armstrong style.
Desperate much?
.
.
finally someone talks about him!!!
there are actually other patton peen pics on the net.
and also tons of stories about him masturbating while (singing) on stage - though i don't know if they're true.. but i think they are - i still wonder why he's not on any offenders list or in jail, but i'm glad he's free ;)
btw:
"In bigger, more interesting news, Faith No More is still active."
they had a reunion one year ago. on the other hand tomahawk, fantomas and all his other projects seem to have split.
Brilliant. Weird. Gorgeous. That's all that matters when it comes to Mike Patton.
That can't be his peen. Can it? That's majorly sad if it's true. Poor guy. He deserves our pity. Damn.
that's what it looks like..or just an extra finger..and why is he dressed like a retired eighties mobster?
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Submitted by WWJDFAKB on Thu, 02/25/2010 - 1:37pm.
It's in your face but you can't grab it..What is it?
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LOL! I'm pretty sure it's just an outie bellybutton.
It's in your face but you can't grab it..What is it?
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Are pants with pleats back in style in Australia? I fucking hope not.
oh how cute, an extra bellybutton
lol okay i found another site that has a pic of him doing this at another show, and from a different angle it's really not bad at all. phew. my fantasies aren't crushed after all.
wtf?
I don't care how big the dick is, I'd ride that pony all the way to town! I've had a crush on him ever since Epic first came out. The man is gorgeous.
I'd hit it
I don't care if he has a fucked-up looking penis. I love this man. He's gorgeous and he's a fucking genius. A weird one, but a genius nonetheless. How he can scream one minute, sing like a bird the next and not have lost his voice by now is beyond me. He's a fucking mutant.
well that is just highly disappointing.
i love faith no more and fantomas and mr bungle...almost anything he's tied to.
It looks like he's fondling a chicken leg.
If I was only allowed to listen to one song for the rest of my life, there's a damn good chance my pick would be midlife crisis.
That said, Patton needs to just put that away. It's rather disappointing.
Mike Patton is not trying to be who he was in 1993. The "washed up" crap talk doesn't stick to him.
I went to their show last year and it was one of the most amazing concerts I've seen in some years.
FNM don't take success and fame seriously. Some hos think FNM are done, but these same hos consider success only in terms of sales and exposure in the media. Go listen to Miley Cyrus then.
As a side note, this peen looks weird and the color is strange for his complexion, I have doubts that this is a real peen. I wanna see the video made from this camera he is forcefully pointing to the strange object coming out of his pants...
i'm pretty sure that's a mini sourdough baguette.
he was probably just homesick for some good old california cuisine, so he hid the bread in his pants.
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Danny: [slaps Bandy]
Archie: No, no, no, NO. Come on, do it properly with the back of the right hand.
Submitted by Vern on Thu, 02/25/2010 - 10:14am.
Girth no more!
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HAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"Sam put drugs in Britney's biscuits"
http://www.ilads.org/
lmao supreme soviet
That looks like a cigar - a skinny cigar made of taffy...ewww.
Never thought I'd say this, but PUT THAT THING AWAY!! It looks like one of those weenies at the 7-11 that has been rolling on the grill for too long.
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It is possible blondes also prefer gentlemen. -Mamie Van Doren
He looks like Michael Portillo (English politician) in this picture which is bad enough. I can't even start to figure out the weird mushroom like peen he is proudly displaying.
BTW - those of you who do not know...the reason why he has the mic like that in his mouth is most likely when he is doing one of his incredible screams.
I've seen Faith No More and his many other bands too many times to count.
And everyone asking "who is he?"...Google is your friend. But use it wisely.
Are we sure that even is a penis? Looks like part of a drumstick.
Pretty soon we're gonna end up right back where we started in the caveman days. Only this time everyone will just be wearing the fur of their passed away pets cuz it's the only thing that's "ethical" enuff.
♥ Threadkilla!
Taking slang to a HO. NUDDA. LEBEL!~ For real, eh?
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 02/25/2010 - 10:42am.
At first glance I thought this was Michael McKean in a prison jumpsuit.
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LOL...exactly.
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And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know?
Who is that guy?
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POOP (nourish the inner asshole)
Looks like a grissino.....Italian bread stick. Blechhh.... :(
um...he was high if he's pulling his little snail like that in front of people.
Forget the little ween, he looks like he's about to give the microphone some head.
...and whats up with that yellowish outfit.
Michael baby, I love you and you are a genius and all of that, but dude really...WHAT THE FUCK? Put that shit away, you do not need to shock and awe no longer you and you are very well established in the music community. That is not necessary.
so not impressive... downright gross.
Not the most flattering dick shot, I'll admit. But you can NOT say that Mike Patton is washed up or doing ANYTHING for relevance. He is one of the most brilliant musicians of our times and has stayed VERY relevant since most people first heard of him in the early 90's. He runs Ipecac Records, for pete's sake! He's done SO many projects and is a true musical genius. And very weird. And super awesome! And not all like a cheesy,entitled, asshole rock star even though he is one of the most well-respected musicians out there. Ugh - I just can't say enough about him.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.. my eyes!!!! I used to fucking love this dude.. my god, in the late 80's he was amazingly hot.
It looks like an overdone hot dog.