Possum, Pammy And A Pussycat!
The Dancing with the Stars cast was announced tonight and for the first time in forever I know who every single bitch is and I didn't have to Google to get a clue. Is that a good thing, or does that just mean that I have too much internet and TV in my life? It's the latter, but there's no cure for my problem.
As expected, Kate Gosselin will dress her possum up in rhinestones and shake that shit for the Dollar Tree trophy. I hope Kate doesn't thrust her bits too hard, because a toddler they forgot to deliver might pop out. That would be awkward.
One of my childhood icons Brenda Walsh (government name: Shannen Maria Doherty) is also in that shit, and you better believe she's going to play dirty. My guess is that she'll be kicked off for slapping a trick or pushing a ho down the stairs. You can pretty much assume it's going to be Kate since there can only be one cuntress and it's always Brenda Walsh!
Anyway, here's the full cast. Dancing with the Has-Beens premieres March 22nd.
Kate Gosselin - Mistress of the Possums
Pamela Anderson - The oldest working whore in America
Nicole Scherzingerorhwatever - Pussycat Doll and Apollonia wannabe
Ochocinco - Wide receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals
Jake Pavelka - A soggy piece of asparagus who happens to be The Bachelor
Brenda Walsh - A bitch you don't fuck with
Aiden Turner - Aiden on All My Children
Neicy Nash - Deputy Williams on Reno 911 and host of Clean House
Erin Andrews - ESPN sportscaster and that chick who got peeped on
Evan Licecheck - Olympic gold medalist and Johnny Weir's arch rival
Finally, 80-year-old astronaut Buzz Aldrin will compete on a Hoveround. No, but he should.
You know, even though I love the pepaws, the wrong Aldrin was cast. Obviously, Buzz's gorgeous wife Lois was born to waltz, sashay and spin:
Although, it probably wouldn't be fair to the other contestants since Lois can hypnotize America into voting for her just by batting her eyelashes.
And when I look into Lois' crystal ball forehead, I can see that Buzz will win this hands down (no, he won't).
• 
Italics, More like Dancing With Obscurity: the race back to the unemployment line.
____________________________________
Full agreement.
_________________________________
"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others. "
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 03/02/2010 - 12:37am.
More like Dancing With Obscurity: the race back to the unemployment line.
----
Is that a tango or waltz?
Aldrin's wife looks like Leslie Caron.
I hope to hell they make Anderson put some clothes on!
Evan's such a closet 'mo
and yeah Neicy is great, as everyone is already saying - she was just on "Drag Race" a few weeks ago
Her head, my god. He did find aliens on the moon after all.
Oh, no.
Erin is going to be paired with Maksim! Lucky c...
Wow look how many of us LURVE Niecy!!!
She needs her own show!
_________________________________
If you put on a pair of 3D glasses, this story looks just like Avatar. ~ MK
I have never watched this mess but I am definitely watching for Niecy. Brenda Walsh should be entertaining too. Hope she cunts it up!
_________________________________
If you put on a pair of 3D glasses, this story looks just like Avatar. ~ MK
The guy on top of Licecheck's pic...the Bachelor, I think...his moob looks like my grandma's after she has a mastectomy.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 03/01/2010 - 11:48pm.
Gold medal winner Evan Lysacek goes and does this at the height of his fame? Classy!
-----------------------------------------------
Professional figure skating is in the dumps right now. Hardly any opportunities in the US other than Stars on Ice, which is barely a two month tour now. I guess he needs cash to pay for that $250,000 Aston Martin he just bought.
Buzz looks like Hef but with class, charm and sincerity.
Perhaps I will watch this mess when Vadge is a contestant.
http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=a24d055f-7e1f-4bc0-83cb...
****************************
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
I've never watched this show before, unless MK would put up a clip from it. I may have to watch this time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
I can't wait to see Evan L. dancing - very secksi.
So sad, but I will watch this shit because of the Cunty Possum...and because Niecy Nash makes me happy.
Team Walsh for the muthafuckin win. I'm actually gonna watch this shitfest for Brenda. Shannen has been in the biz since she was a kid so she prolly had all the dance classes when she was a kid so she might surprise everyone.
Money is on Licecheck or Scherenwhore. Those bitches can already dance. I'd love to see Brenda fuckin' Walsh push someone down the stairs. Then do the pool scene.
____________________________________________
"I truly don't like you as a person. Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?"
Kate Gosselin continues to put her love of the spotlight above her children...
I wonder if Pam will have any "wardrobe malfunctions"?
Licecheck will probably win (how many Olympic gold medalists have won now? Four?).
=================================================
And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know?
I've never watched before but I might this time around for the Niecy and the Nash.
I can't wait to see tired-ass Pammy gyrating around looking like Meryl Streep in "Death Becomes Her". Hopefully her wig will fly off mid-twirl. Brenda Walsh FTW!
YAWN...although I may watch to see Pam's wacked out antics. Wonder how they will keep her sober?
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
************************************************
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter as long as I'm laughing with you.
Shoulda been Johnny and not Evan. Can you imagine what kinda costumes Johnny would design to wear on DWTS? And Bruno and Johnny together= priceless.
NIECEY!!!!!!! god I love her
this will be rhe first time I'm gonna watch this shit fest
****************************
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
I don't care about any of these whores, with the possible exception of Neicy Nash.
**********
"No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart"
Jake Pavelka...
wait, is he the current Bachelor who picked the former Hooter's girl last night? Damn, bitches are livid over that shit!
PSL, I'm still not watching this shit either, but it'll be fun to read Michael spin it every week with Brenda Walsh on it.
LMAO @ crystal ball forehead!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I could use more dopamine and serotonin resulting from the laughter and caring from the Dlisted crew! ~ Tiffany/grapedrinkbaby
Having a gold medalist skater makes about as much sense as a former boy-bander. Step-step-turn-turn-kick is all they've ever done.
I've never in life watched this show, but Shannen Doherty, Neicy Nash AND Kate Gosselin? Aw, hell yeah!
Nicole S. might as well have a tattoo on her freakin' forhead that heads , 'WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME?'
PAMELA ANDERSON?! DANCING WITH THE STARS?! BITCH BETTA WERQ!
***
ANNE HATHAWAY IS SHOWING HER TITS AND SUCKING HER COCK! (NSFW) http://bit.ly/9mopJC+
How long do you think it'll take before the Jake's (aka Flyboy Ken)hitting it with one of his costar rumours start (please let it be Evan Licecheck - that would make my day)
**********
Shiitake happens...
NEICYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! I love 'Reno 911' and i loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove her!
Stop being so jealous of Lois! Being married to a hunky astronaut named Buzz is something you gutter-wenches can only dream of.
I'm going to watch this shit because Brenda Walsh is there!!!!!! Wanna see who's going down first, Brenda or Mop Head HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH! (who's mophead name again MK made me forget her name I swear dlisted brainwashed me)
and don't worry, Nicole whatsoever only trained in thrusting her hips or something...hopefully her partner will break her into two (one can only hope)
cant wait to see licecheck too ^^
I should hate on Buzz Aldrin for acting the foolio, but I can't. Lois has helped him cope with the depression that plagued him for decades, and as a fellow sufferer I can't hate on anyone who walks the same path I do.
I read a really interesting book on the moon landing, Rocket Men, and the author pointed out an interesting fact: of the three men on Apollo 11, the only one still married to his original wife is Michael Collins. He was also the only one who didn't set foot on the moon. Coincidence? The author, Craig Nelson, didn't think so.
Anyway, enough of the history lesson. Let's see the rabid possums and the fake titties fly!
****************************************************
"You don't fucking say.”
Kate G is already out of money? Why doesn't she just hatch another brood of
kids to supplement her income.
Word of advice to Pammy: Hooking may pay better than dwts and
she can expose her tits.
__________________________________________
what you gonna do? tell mom and dad I put your dick sucking list on facebook?” – "i love facebook like you love cock..."
Tell me why Lois is givin me "AND I'M JUNEEEEEEEEEECE" from SNL's The Lawerence Welk Show?!?!
ALSO, Team Walsh ALLLL the way. Hands down!
--------------------------------------------------
"You call called me losers and I don't see you out there walking children in nature." --- Tammie Brown
No brainer - final two - Nicole Schzingerwhatever and Evan Licecheck
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doctors, soldiers, actors,lawyer,why not a fuker?? FUKER: the most fashionable and the most profitable work!!!!.... Spammer (probably EH or just a floozy)
Submitted by speakit on Tue, 03/02/2010 - 1:07am.
Yep, and yep.
♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣
Believe me, you aren't really that fucking important.
Khensu! Did you talk to your bf? can you go to open post and tell me whaddup?
OnT: Everybody needs to get rabies shots since they're gonna be around Kate. Possums are carriers.
Submitted by Green Is Good on Tue, 03/02/2010 - 1:02am.
Nah, I don't think Pammy's tits are going to fall out of her costume at all, because they're petrified. However, I wouldn't put it past her to stage a "wardrobe malfunction" regardless. What a sad imbecile.
♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣
Believe me, you aren't really that fucking important.
OK, Evan he needs to be photographed passed out on the floor of several bars before he books this (which would be about 6 months from now, but still...too soon).
I see Erin Andrews seems to have gotten over the shock and embarrassment of being publicly violated and has realized it's the perfect segue into C-list reality TV stardom. Her being on there makes me sneer the most for some reason. Yes, I'm judgy like that!
All that said, I may watch this mess b/c I actually know who most of these turkeys are.
Isn't Neicy Nash currently a little too successful for Dancing With the Stars? I mean, she isn't on the A-List, but she appears to be doing quite well for herself, and let's face it, the show's for desperate has-beens and starstruck wannabes.
♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣
Believe me, you aren't really that fucking important.
Shall we start a pool betting how many times will Pammy's tits fall out of her dance costume?
Whose going to take care of the Grosslin's child army while Kunt is training for this shit? Daddy is too busy looking for new tail, and she's too busy trying to be a celebrity.
For some reason I can't make fun of a memaw... I think it's cruel, MK. Don't you think of your abuelita too?
More like Dancing With Obscurity: the race back to the unemployment line.
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
I would like to see Ochocinco take this. I won't watch this crap though.
ERIN! <3 <3
**************************************************************
Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
and I still won't watch this shit.
At least there aren't any "real" dancers (besides Nicole whatsherface, and I don't even know how good she is). I thought it was such bullshit when Mya was cast. She's a trained dancer! I thought this was about people who haven't danced before competing.
**********************************************
Kiss me once again, don't you never ever say that we're through
'cause I ain't ever (no never) loved a man the way that I love you
- Aretha Franklin