Save Knut's Nuts!!!!!!
Don't look now, but here comes PETA again trying to kill a bitch's good time. PETA has called for Knut's nuts on a silver platter, because the former child star of the Berlin Zoo has been getting a little too sexy with a female polar bear who goes by the name of (read this in a light whisper) Giovanna. Yup, it's always a Giovanna. Trouble-making tramp.
PETA's resident polar bear expert (who got the title after eating an entire box of Klondike bars) says that Knut and Giovanna should not be allowed to rub genitals, because they are first cousins. Cue the entire Spears family saying, "SO!?"
The expert explained, "Any offspring would threaten the genetic diversity of the polar bear population in Germany and risk exposing the bear couple to a condition known as 'incest depression.' Knut fans need to know that only Knut's castration would allow a long life together with Giovanna."
You know what's worse than incest depression? Not having a fucking nutsack! My own dog will never forgive me for that one. I see the shank eye he gives me when he's licking the area where his pride and joy used to be. Whenever he walks into the room while I'm changing, I have to cover up my down low goods really fast or else he'll think that I'm teasing him. Sad. I should really look into getting him testicle implants. Back to Knut's nuts!
Can't they just put Giovanna on the pill? Or give Knut condoms? Or make him swear on a block of ice that he'll pull out and cum on her bear cheeks (we know how that works)? Ugh. The Spears or the Cyrus family should really take Giovanna and Knut in. They understand.
via The Awl
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PETA needs to get fucked by polar bears.
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Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 01/27/2010 - 5:42pm.
This site should be fun only. The petty shit fucks up my buzz.
You don't want that. Or maybe you do, you sucio fuck! MK
Both my boys are getting clipped next week. I hope they forgive me. I am sure they will miss their balls but I am tired of them trying to fuck the cat and each other.
"Fuck me running..."
it's called line-breeding. it's how you maximize positive characteristics when breeding animals. this is completely common and this just another peta ploy for attention.
"You know what's worse than incest depression? Not having a fucking nutsack!"
*dies*
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
If they have a problem with incest babies, can't they perform abortions??
WOOT! I e-filed my taxes last night and one of the first things I'm paying for is to get my dogs nuts removed. Ohhhh yeahh! He is a girly dog anyway. Afraid of everything and loves dick.
You forgot to mention the Hogans.
I am sorry, but what the FUCK!? Didn't they want to kill this poor guy a while ago because apparently he is psychotic or something? I don't understand why they wouldn't just separate the bears or send one to a different zoo?????????????????????????????????????????????????I hate PETA, it makes people who are truly compassionate individuals that love animals look insincere. FUCK you PETA!
From the looks of Knut's coat, I'm thinking Dolores is his mommy.
He has many years of the Hair Club for Men to look forward to.
_________________________________
"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others. "
Knut is a horny bear, but he's definitely not the horniest animal alive.
My labradors are the horniest animals alive.
♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣
Believe me, you aren't really that fucking important.
Submitted by caprica six on Wed, 03/03/2010 - 8:48pm.
Submitted by You_Complete_Me. on Wed, 03/03/2010 - 8:08pm.
Submitted by caprica six on Wed, 03/03/2010 - 7:45pm.
"... the answer is to leave nature to be its NATURAL self."
________________________
Too late for that in many cases, esp. wrt repercussions of human activity (i.e., animal domesticity [livestock]/farmland cultivation.) Now that we've arrived at this point in history, humans cannot just stop fucking around with nature and expect it to "right" itself. We no longer even understand what "right" is.
What a wretched web we've woven on this planet.
_____________________________________________________
i know. you're correct. sometimes, i try to understand why i still rage out (knowing for YEARS) that what you wrote is a valid observation/practice. good point.
however, nature has an ace up its sleeve - called 'balance'. at some point it (nature) will "right" itself out. regardless of whether we (modern humans) comprehend/exhibit it. watch it unfold. we're deluding ourselves if we think we can overpower nature. bring it on; i'm ready.
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Werd. To alladis.
♥ Threadkilla!
One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.
~ Kurt Vonnegut
Is he really that ugly color or does he need a Clorox dip?
Those bastards are willing to cut his nuts off, can't they give him a bath.
_________________________________
"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others. "
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 03/03/2010 - 7:37pm.
Get him Nuticles and call it a day, will ya?
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Don't you mean Knuticles? ; )
Ummm...okay, this is a really radical idea.
How about separating them.
_________________________________
"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others. "
leave his ice-cubes alone!
www.lowbrowsophisticate.com
"You know what's worse than incest depression? Not having a fucking nutsack!"
----------------
Speaking of hearing "Giovana" in Seth Rogan's voice, I heard that comment in Lewis Black's voice haa!
It might get old, but just gotta stop AGAIN and marvel at MK's writing, seriously, EXHIBIT a:
"PETA's resident polar bear expert (who got the title after eating an entire box of Klondike bars) says that Knut and Giovanna should not be allowed to rub genitals, because they are first cousins. Cue the entire Spears family saying, "SO!?"
-- now back to raining LOL spittle on my keyboard.
Fuck PETA
the end.....
Submitted by justaguest on Wed, 03/03/2010 - 10:08pm.
Why is Knut always so dirty looking?
*****
he's a dirty dirty bear
...a dirty, cousin-fucking bear
oh, to be a PETA-free Knut!
*****
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
"I'm good when I'm alone. I'm... I'm comfortable alone. I can sit and do things all by myself - sex included." -Johnny Weir
Knut isn't there for the long haul, man - he's there for some good times and to bust a...
wait for it
wait for it...
k-nut
*****
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
"I'm good when I'm alone. I'm... I'm comfortable alone. I can sit and do things all by myself - sex included." -Johnny Weir
Animals have been incesting since the beginning of time. I used to have two gay cats and they were brothers and sexed each other all the time. I tried to stop them because it always got uncomfortable when company came around and they were humping on the couch but then I got used to it and was like, whatever. They were happy. So PETA needs to mind their own business!
Why is Knut always so dirty looking?
Zomay, you've made the only brilliant comment on this post.
I think this beautiful bear needs to mate...not with his cousin! He should be a stud bear. Let him free in Northern Manitoba to procreate! *booking express flight from Frankfurt to Churchill* Wild Animals should be wild!
I suspect a lot of PETA activists know way too much about "incest depression". Let's make sure all of those hysterical attention whores are neutered, and then we'll reconsider Knut's situation later.
____________________
FIST PUMP!!
PETA in America sucks as does SPCA in Canada. If you really wanna help and make a difference join your local Humane Society foundation. That is my charity, they help/rescue both animals and people, not kill them.
God, PETA needs to just STFU...they wanted Knut dead, now they want him castrated...PETA HATES animals, or at a minimun, doesn't see them as anything more than PR props...
Michael K, as usual, hits the nail on the head with this sentiment..."PETA's resident polar bear expert (who got the title after eating an entire box of Klondike bars"...
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Wed, 03/03/2010 - 8:44pm.
Knut always brings the drama. I half expect to see him spilling out of a nightclub with Lindsay Lohan or turning up on a very special episode of Celebrity Rehab or being caught doing the walk of shame leaving Bill Kaulitz's house. He's a trainwreck! Stop trying to be a cousin fucker!! Crazy ass bear!
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FLMAO. this is GOLD. I CAN TOTALLY ENVISION IT. DAMN, your scenario actually calms my soul. i WISH Knut would bring the drama like this! hilarious, BSF.
********************************************************
the two year old: "where da milk 'n cooooookies?"
the four year old: "him downstairs...."
Bernie Mac: "...Bust a move!...bust a m-f-ing move!!"
Submitted by You_Complete_Me. on Wed, 03/03/2010 - 8:08pm.
Submitted by caprica six on Wed, 03/03/2010 - 7:45pm.
"... the answer is to leave nature to be its NATURAL self."
________________________
Too late for that in many cases, esp. wrt repercussions of human activity (i.e., animal domesticity [livestock]/farmland cultivation.) Now that we've arrived at this point in history, humans cannot just stop fucking around with nature and expect it to "right" itself. We no longer even understand what "right" is.
What a wretched web we've woven on this planet.
_____________________________________________________
i know. you're correct. sometimes, i try to understand why i still rage out (knowing for YEARS) that what you wrote is a valid observation/practice. good point.
however, nature has an ace up its sleeve - called 'balance'. at some point it (nature) will "right" itself out. regardless of whether we (modern humans) comprehend/exhibit it. watch it unfold. we're deluding ourselves if we think we can overpower nature. bring it on; i'm ready.
********************************************************
the two year old: "where da milk 'n cooooookies?"
the four year old: "him downstairs...."
Bernie Mac: "...Bust a move!...bust a m-f-ing move!!"
Knut always brings the drama. I half expect to see him spilling out of a nightclub with Lindsay Lohan or turning up on a very special episode of Celebrity Rehab or being caught doing the walk of shame leaving Bill Kaulitz's house. He's a trainwreck! Stop trying to be a cousin fucker!! Crazy ass bear!
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Ship Knut's muddy ass off to Churchill, Manitoba, where he can frolic in municipal garbage with his whore homies & breed 'til his love-stick snaps in two. Now that'd be some healthy natural selection right there.
<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>
"I am going to rock myself in a corner in my Slanket now." - Plecostomus
PETA doesn't know shit. Knut will need his nuts for polar bear sperm exchange with other zoos. Did I mention that the most worthless organization in the world doesn't know shit?
oh... and another thing...two of my very normal kittens are incest survivors...and they are not even in therapy...I call bullshit on this...they are fat and sassy as all get out!!
Polar bear fur is "translucent clear" not white, their skin is black. Captivity makes him appear this color, no snow & light reflecting off snow to make him appear creamy white.
....make-up anything, everything is tested on animals beforehand. Even vegetarians who buy their vegetables and fruit unknowingly buy it from farms who also slaughter pigs and cows and chickens.
I myself est meat, and so do my dogs, but I draw the line at unnecessary torture, like wearing real fur or displaying moose heads or elephant trunks in my living room like trophies.
Knut without any knuts is even more depressing than a knut Knut with depression. Btw, who can diagnose depression in animals...I mean for real, there is no outward sign like gorging on cookies (animals eat all the time)...or sleeping too much (critters love to sleep)...so WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE TO SAY AN ANIMAL IS DEPRESSED...this really sounds like some made up shit for PETA to get all excited about...isn't it enough that he can get his polar bear groove on...and now PETA with that fake tittied, fake everything plastic Pammy waiving the flag that they need to cut of Knuts nuts...because of his possible "depression"...this is the stupidest bordering on strangest excuse for a neuter I have ever heard..go on Knut, get your Knut with Giovanna...and screw those PETA nutjobs!!
PETA's resident polar bear expert (who got the title after eating an entire box of Klondike bars)
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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Sadly, it's probably true though.
------------------------------------------------
She got every kind except the platinum. Congratulations, Justyna Kowalczyk!! :)
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/354998-polish-skiing-star-wins-big-in...
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 03/03/2010 - 7:59pm.
LOL! Really, it does!
♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣
Believe me, you aren't really that fucking important.
Submitted by Jana on Wed, 03/03/2010 - 8:02pm.
Yep, and the bleach in her hair, or her Hepatitis meds.
♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣
Believe me, you aren't really that fucking important.
I was laughing at this post all the way until the end and then realised it was KNut, not KUnt.
Cesspool of a mind.
********
"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
Submitted by caprica six on Wed, 03/03/2010 - 7:45pm.
"... the answer is to leave nature to be its NATURAL self."
________________________
Too late for that in many cases, esp. wrt repercussions of human activity (i.e., animal domesticity [livestock]/farmland cultivation.) Now that we've arrived at this point in history, humans cannot just stop fucking around with nature and expect it to "right" itself. We no longer even understand what "right" is.
What a wretched web we've woven on this planet.
<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>
"I am going to rock myself in a corner in my Slanket now." - Plecostomus
haha, what I meant to say is that Pam Anderson's silicone breasts were tested on animals, so she ia no one to back up animal rights.
Pamela Anderson
Knut's beard reminds me of James Hetfield.
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Everything I need to know is in my head.......or it isn't.
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Wed, 03/03/2010 - 7:54pm.
Submitted by caprica six on Wed, 03/03/2010 - 7:45pm.
______________
(I heard ESE was acting up, I may have to bring out my paddle!).
_________________________________________________
ESE acting up!!!1!!
i'm on it, like i'm on my 3rd shot of 'snowball' (mukane sake and grey goose)!!!
*just for about 25 mins as i've got 4 pgs to go for my stupid paper* damn!!!
********************************************************
the two year old: "where da milk 'n cooooookies?"
the four year old: "him downstairs...."
Bernie Mac: "...Bust a move!...bust a m-f-ing move!!"
I think we should neuter every cocksucker from PETA including Skank bag in Chief Pamela Anderson. Gawd fucking knows we don't want any of these fuckers to repro!
Submitted by caprica six on Wed, 03/03/2010 - 7:45pm.
______________
Caprica, Sweetie! Good to see you! How go the studies? Come over to the OP and chat awhile - we're all rooting for you and enjoy hearing your perspective. See ya at the OP (I heard ESE was acting up, I may have to bring out my paddle!).
Thank you, Suze. I can't take credit for it. Another DLister suggested it to me. :-)
I prefer Pearls Before Swine, myself. lol
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Everything I need to know is in my head.......or it isn't.