Thursday, March 4th 2010

Afternoon Crumbs

Every time a closeted Republican senator gets caught in the act, Larry Craig learns a new tap step - Towelroad

I bet Rumer Willis tastes like Albertsons-brand unsalted potato chips and warm well vodka - Egotastic!

Not having an alarm clock is easy for Goopy Paltrow since she's woken up every morning by the sound of her husband sobbing at his life - Lainey Gossip

Tales From The Crackhead Crypt coming to a Dollar Tree discount bin near you! - The Superficial

Is this RiRi or did Tootie get into a fight with a bottle of Sun-In? - Hollywood Tuna

Nicole Scherwhatever's purse holder obviously hates her life (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Mischa Barton looks...um...clean? - Just Jared

The virgin Stepmother Theresa in Harper's Bazaar UK - Popoholic

Serious musical virtuoso shits on serious musical virtuoso - Celebitchy

Playgirl offers to pay Jon Gosselin $10,000 an inch to pose naked - ICYDK

John Mayer's David Duke dick isn't getting any action - Celebslam

Skeletor loves the way chenille caresses his zombie nips - Cityrag

Meryl Streep is going to have to find a different dress to wear to the Oscars now - Holy Moly!

Bachelor Jake might have cheated on Vienna Sausage. But in more important so-not-news, is he really wearing a mock turtleneck in a non-ironic way?! - I'm Not Obsessed

Posted by: Michael K


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WildGuy's picture

in actuality ... when a hypocritical Closeted Gay Republican gets caught a fairie gets it wings

QueenieBK's picture

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 5:08pm.
QueenieBK -- is that your kitty in your avie? If so, way too cute! What's his/her name? Kind of looks like my cat.

Yep, that's my big baby girl kitteh Maggie. She's a rescue from the humane society I volunteer for. Love her to death when she's not hogging the bed.

What's your kitteh's name?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life's a jest, and all things show it/I thought so once, but now I know it.

Pearl_Necklace's picture

aaaaaahhhh! Smell the uptight hole butta! MAAHAAHA!! Republitards: give that keeps on giving!

Submitted by LA on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 4:30pm.
So Gosselin was offered $20,000?
--------------------------------------
My, you're being generous!
--------------------------------------

"gobble a bowl of dicks" submitted by HOTNEY

Tigerlilly's picture

Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 4:19pm.
I now conclude that every Republican family man politician who opposes gay rights is a big fat fucking closet case.

Also, I was watching "Law & Order: SVU" last night and missed the beginning where they credit the guest stars, so I wasn't sure it was Mischa Barton. Then, I swear to GOD, they showed her legs and I knew it was her for sure. Girl has the ugliest-shaped legs. (Runner-up is Rihanna).

***************************************

Angelina Jolie has some fugly legs too...Chicken legs...Wait, that just made me HONGRAY and ain't no chicken in sight...:-(

**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Ma Nom's picture

the bachelor is a joke, he's a regional pilot! i LOVE being a pilot and what not, but at least i take myself seriously, and wouldn't go on a tv show. i met a couple people last week who work with him and they said they're glad nobody knows who he works for cuz it's not the kind of publicity that their company is looking for! HAHA. shit. awesome. anywhore, i included the link to show you how much he makes...bitches will be shocked when he's not rich SUCKAS

http://www.airlinepilotcentral.com/airlines/major-national-lcc/asa.html

Pamela's picture

Submitted by Emeriesan on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 6:52pm.

Submitted by Pamela on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 6:32pm.
What is dogging, Im lost on that one.

__________________

It's perhaps because it's British slang (it's like "So Fetch!"), it's sex with strangers in public spaces that aren't obvious (say, a camping site or a parking lot with almost no traffic at night etc.).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ahhhh thanks for clearing that up! :)

Emeriesan's picture

Submitted by Pamela on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 6:32pm.
What is dogging, Im lost on that one.

__________________

It's perhaps because it's British slang (it's like "So Fetch!"), it's sex with strangers in public spaces that aren't obvious (say, a camping site or a parking lot with almost no traffic at night etc.).

Mike Hawk's picture

Roy 'ASS-BURN' cannot be a real Republican...he voted for the biggest tax increase in CA history last year. That irritates me more than the fact he likes drinking and sleeping with men. Who gives a shit about who he schtups?

Pamela's picture

Submitted by Emeriesan on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 5:43pm.

The funny thing is, these closetted foaming-at-the-mouth homophobic politicians are always into the kinkiest stuff of the gay scene, like dogging, parking lot spit roasting, golden showers, you name it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok I know what a golden shower is.Am I right in assuming a parking lot spit roasting is a threesome in a seedy parking lot? What is dogging, Im lost on that one.

Madam Pince's picture

Hey, all you GOP homophobes, we're gonna out every single one of you!!!

Somebody please shoot Gwyneth and put all of us out of our misery. I nominate Chris Martin to do the deed.

And in closing, Amanda Lepore is far more of a lady than Lohan will ever, ever be. She can't even aspire to Miss Amanda's level.

****************************************************

"You don't fucking say.”

Emeriesan's picture

The funny thing is, these closetted foaming-at-the-mouth homophobic politicians are always into the kinkiest stuff of the gay scene, like dogging, parking lot spit roasting, golden showers, you name it.

ronnyk's picture

This closet case prick is from my hometown. Bakersfield is a redneck GOP cesspool. His NOT the first closet case Repug in that town.

My parents fucking hate living there.

Emeriesan's picture

Will i get flak for saying I kinda fancy Skeletor in that chenille sweater pic? I like his bone structure and slightly Lagerfeld-y vibe.

Soultonic's picture

I would shit my pink thong with laughter if I saw Jon Gosselin's little sperm gun.

Bjork You's picture

Regarding Fishy, did you see that newsletter? "Knackered"? Is she kidding? She's such a pretentious drip.

like-wow's picture

I love the article where it says: "It's also being reported that he had just left Feces, a gay club in the Sacramento."

Pamela's picture

Nothings worse then a self hating homo! But nothing is better when said homo gets caught at a gay bar!! :)

~Your opinion of me is actually none of my business. So go ahead, think whatever you want, and thank you for letting me live rent-free in your head.~

Twat Muffin's picture

QueenieBK -- is that your kitty in your avie? If so, way too cute! What's his/her name? Kind of looks like my cat.

mike's picture

Submitted by Rhoda on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 4:51pm.

Old ass Uncle Tom republican fuck got kicked out of the closet!!! I love when this shit happens!!!

What's the gay analog to "Uncle Tom"? Uncle David?

QueenieBK's picture

Ew. ANYONE who wants to see Jon Grosselin naked needs to have their fucking head examined.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life's a jest, and all things show it/I thought so once, but now I know it.

Cara's picture

There was an interesting study done a number of years ago at the University of Georgia that studied whether or not homophobia was linked to latent homosexual behavior. Basically, men were asked a series of questions about how they felt about homosexual men. Then the guys had their guy parts wired up for a "response" and were shown gay porn. The guys who hated gays the most had the "biggest" response to the gay porn. These Republican douchebags seem to be proving that study correct.

Rhoda's picture

Old ass Uncle Tom republican fuck got kicked out of the closet!!! I love when this shit happens!!!

Dirk Diggler's picture

Nothing induces sleep better than a GOOP posting.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

kanderso's picture

Mischa Barton irritates me to no end. Does she not understand, after living in the same body for 25ish years, that she has stumpy legs? Why does she still insist on wearing skirts and shorts with flats or tennis shoes, leggings, and skinny jeans? Try straight-legged trousers, Mischa. Try long skirts. Hell, I'd settle for a fitted, short dress with nice high heels. You have fucking stumpy legs, accept that shit.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." ~ Pink

TopTwitsBlog's picture

Remember when John Mayer was cool?
Us either
http://www.toptwitsblog.com/search/label/John%20Mayer

http://www.TopTwitsBlog.com
All of the best celebrity tweets in one sarcastic package.

LA's picture

So Gosselin was offered $20,000?

Detective_LaToya's picture

Submitted by peopleperson on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 4:14pm.

Can all the gay guys please tell me WHAT is up with the self-hating closeted politicians who blatantly CRUISE for sex and vote against gay rights??? Mind. Boggled.
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It's because they're self-loathing and can't accept what they are.

AgentM's picture

KeSha is so obviously full of shit it's hilarious. She's about as hardcore as an Olsen twin.

Detective_LaToya's picture

I'm impressed that Jessica Lowndes could get her kisser to Rumer's mouth with that giant chin in the way!

Albatross's picture

"Not having an alarm clock is easy for Goopy Paltrow since she's woken up every morning by the sound of her husband sobbing at his life"

Fuck! MK, you kill me!
**********
"No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart"

Hekki's picture

I now conclude that every Republican family man politician who opposes gay rights is a big fat fucking closet case.

Also, I was watching "Law & Order: SVU" last night and missed the beginning where they credit the guest stars, so I wasn't sure it was Mischa Barton. Then, I swear to GOD, they showed her legs and I knew it was her for sure. Girl has the ugliest-shaped legs. (Runner-up is Rihanna).

peopleperson's picture

Can all the gay guys please tell me WHAT is up with the self-hating closeted politicians who blatantly CRUISE for sex and vote against gay rights??? Mind. Boggled.

_________________________________

"yes of course you may call me cakey. CAKE FOR EVERYONE. OPEN YOUR BABY BIRD MOUFS AND LET ME FEED YOU CAKE." ~ lifeislikecake

fishsticksfan's picture

goooooooooooooop

------------------------------------------
POOP (nourish the inner asshole)

TexnDoc's picture

Michael K that celebitchy Keisha story is hilarious. The whole thing. I read
she got record deal growing up in Nashville and her mom is a recording exec.
The interview with her being badass - mah-velous!

Eileenie McMeanie's picture

Another hypocritcal Republican gets arrested?

*puts on shockface*

"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
************************************************
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter as long as I'm laughing with you.

babybunny's picture

I heard about that senator, but I didn't know a) he was Republican (figures) and b) that he was a big anti-gay marriage supporter pulled over for leaving a gay bar drunk with a dude...I swear truth is too much sometimes. As far as douchebag Mayer, will he ever learn his lesson and stop being a douche??? Guess not...

mike's picture

The only shocking thing about Batchelor Jake is that he cheated with a female.

Twat Muffin's picture

That Vienna Sausage chick is really fug. Why the hell did he pick her? I don't blame it on him being gay; if he were gay, he'd certainly have better taste than that. FUG!!!

Auntie Mame's picture

If Playgirl wants Jon Gosselin they should just close down and call it a day. Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel.

"Get up and put your BITCHFACE on!"