Sean Penn Hopes His Critics Get Rectal Cancer
Shortly after the earthquake in Haiti, Sean Penn jumped in his relief boat and headed over there to do some good. Unfortunately, the relief boat couldn't handle the weight of his ego and it sprung a leak causing Sean to jump ship.... Oh wait, that was New Orleans. Let me start over. After the earthquake in Haiti, Sean Penn brought 11 doctors, a few X-Ray machines and a ventilator over to set up a private relief organization. Sean did a good thing (delivered with zero shade).
But several critics blasted Sean and other celebrities like him for using tragedy to make their assholes look shinier. Others critics called the celebrities hypocritical for helping those in need, but then returning to their fancy castles made out of solid gold. Sean has a lovely message for those critics.
In an interview with CBS' Sunday Morning, Sean was asked about the haters and he responded with: "I guess I've been so away from it all-- and our tent camp in Haiti that I haven't had an awful lot of time to pay attention to them. You know, do I hope that those people die screaming of rectal cancer? Yeah. You know, but I'm not going to spend a lot of energy on it."
Rectal cancer? That's a new one. Since Sean Penn has a face like an engorged anal gland that is starting to crack open I would think he would be more respectful of the rectal area. Or maybe he secretly hates all rectal areas because he does have a face like an engorged anal gland and he's mad about that. I don't know.
But I do know that instead of scooting all over his good deed by wishing an agonizing death upon his critics, he simply should've pressed CLT+ALT+F+U and called it a day.