Only In Florida....
37-year-old Megan Mariah Barnes was arrested last week in Florida after she caused a two-car crash on the highway, because she was shaving her bikini line behind the wheel. If that doesn't make your crotch hairs twitch, it gets better. While Megan was busy shaving her coochie coo, her ex-husband, who was sitting in the passenger seat, held the steering wheel for her.
One day before the shave and crash, Megan was convicted of DUI and driving with a suspended license, so she shouldn't have been driving in the first place.
The officer at the scene told KeyNews.com (via HuffPo) that Megan told him she was shaving her business on the road, because she was "meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit."
Megan was charged with driving with a revoked license, reckless driving, leaving the scene of a wreck with injuries and driving with no insurance.
Okay, these are my questions:
1. Is "I'll just shave my pussy in the car" the new "I'll just put my lipstick on in the car"?
2. Why couldn't Megan's ex-husband drive the car while she got her vagina sex-ready in the backseat? That's how a real lady does it.
3. Megan's ex-husband sniffs gas, right? Because who in Trish Cyrus Hell would hold the wheel while their ex-wife cleans up her punane to do fuck times with her boyfriend?!
4. Megan sniffs gas, right?
5. Couldn't Megan just spread a little Nair on her crotch before getting into the car and let it eat her pubes while she drove to the Super 8 to meet her boyfriend?
5. Megan obviously cares about maintaining her pussay situation at any cost, but why isn't she showing any love to those wrong ass ROOTS?! Bitch should've been touching up her roots in the car instead!
And just when I think Florida has given all it has to give, it gives even more. If Florida needed me to hold the steering wheel while it shaved its cooze in the car, I'd gladly do it.
• 
From the look of that picture, it is more likely that "she" was shaving her "her" testicles than trimming up "her" non-existent lady parts...
Oh holy hell...my friend was the Highway Patrol Officer on this call.....
Only in The Keys!
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If we weren't all crazy, we would go insane.
edit
edit
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Why not shave before you leave home.
Why didn't the exhusband drive?
This is a great advertisement for waxing.
Submitted by LASux on Tue, 03/09/2010 - 5:59am.
Team Florida always brings the fuckery.
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you know it!!! LMAO
When I read this yesterday, I thought I would die laughing. Then I had to do the search to find her pic. Unreal.
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"Crocs: They are to your eyes what second-hand smoke is to your lungs."
EWWW stubbly vagoos. If you're not gonna do it right better keep it hairy than turn it into sandpaper, bitch.
I am at a loss for words.
These bitches come under the heading...Floriduh...nasty ho's that they are..
Team Florida always brings the fuckery.
Are we absolutely certaın that aın't Nıck Carter?
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
xadesmultimedia@gmail.com
I don't think it was the shaving that got her in the end.
I think she was trying to dye the carpet to match the drapes.
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"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others. "
HAHA
She looks like Nick Carter circa 1996.
http://www.wikimusicguide.com/images/thumb/5/59/Backstreet-boys.jpg/180p...
What the fuckity fuck is up with you people from Florida? Must be the weather. Shit you people are nuts!
hairy much?
couldn't her vagina wait until it gets home? LOL
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NSFW SNOOKI http://bit.ly/cbLv9Y
How grossly uncivilised.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 03/08/2010 - 11:45pm.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Mon, 03/08/2010 - 11:32pm.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 03/08/2010 - 11:25pm.
Who knew Crazy Astronaut Lady was her role model?
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You didn't happen to see a lady wearing Depends around the Newark Airport last week?
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I did!! And she was wearing snowshoes and a coonskin cap!
Palin sighting!
Holy shit. I hope the officer was decontaminated after this fuckery.
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It is possible blondes also prefer gentlemen. -Mamie Van Doren
Submitted by mike on Mon, 03/08/2010 - 9:38pm.
Submitted by madam s. on Mon, 03/08/2010 - 9:14pm.
jack,
Oh. My. God.... that photo with the kid in the back seat!!
For all of you impressed with the pic Jack posted, you must go to Why The Fuck Do You Have A Kid:
http://whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com/
it hasn't been updated in a while, but it's worth going back to some of the early posts
*
jesus H.
it's like the anti-lol cats site.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Internet fakers:
http://tinyurl.com/y94sh4m
http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
http://tinyurl.com/yeo4e9j
I wish I could attach a pic of me from 15 years ago because I looked exactly like her right before my root touch-up.
(I was 26.)
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"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others. "
I don't even....
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Internet fakers:
http://tinyurl.com/y94sh4m
http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
http://tinyurl.com/yeo4e9j
curious as to what the john/boyfriend this slag was going to see looked like...
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what you gonna do? tell mom and dad I put your dick sucking list on facebook?” – "i love facebook like you love cock..."
that's a mugshot of the ex-husband / pimp, right?
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Danny: [slaps Bandy]
Archie: No, no, no, NO. Come on, do it properly, with the back of the right hand.
Submitted by MMMARIA on Mon, 03/08/2010 - 11:44pm.
I don't believe her story. I think the exboyfriend was her pimp taking her to see a John. Otherwise, no way no guy would help a woman primp for a new boyfriend. In fact maybe the shaving story is wrong. Maybe they were doing drugs while driving. They say if you want to get away with a lie make it super embarrassing. That would be believable.
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Exactly! I was thinking that I can understand holding the wheel for the driver while they are snorting up a line of the bad shit (not that I've ever been in this situation) but while they are shaving their crotch? Nonsense! You can shave with one hand and drive with the other I say!!
This is seriously the future of Hef's twin girlfriends who are from Florida. Florida girls are so trashy, it's like in their blood.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Mon, 03/08/2010 - 11:32pm.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 03/08/2010 - 11:25pm.
Who knew Crazy Astronaut Lady was her role model?
************************************
You didn't happen to see a lady wearing Depends around the Newark Airport last week?
*********************************************
I did!! And she was wearing snowshoes and a coonskin cap!
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
I don't believe her story. I think the exboyfriend was her pimp taking her to see a John. Otherwise, no way no guy would help a woman primp for a new boyfriend. In fact maybe the shaving story is wrong. Maybe they were doing drugs while driving. They say if you want to get away with a lie make it super embarrassing. That would be believable.
Wow. And I thought I had an amicable relationship with my ex-husband.
As for Megan's supposed age, if Rachel Zoe can keep claiming to be 38 year after year, then 37 makes enormous sense for Megan.
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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull
This is somewhat related. The Circle K just down the street from my college campus always smells like pussy. I hate going down there.
♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣
Believe me, you aren't really that fucking important.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 03/08/2010 - 11:25pm.
Who knew Crazy Astronaut Lady was her role model?
************************************
You didn't happen to see a lady wearing Depends around the Newark Airport last week?
*gags* Pubes the size of tumbleweed would have been rolling around inside the car.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Mon, 03/08/2010 - 11:18pm.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 03/08/2010 - 9:59pm.
I knew Joe Shmoe was going to Florida last week, I knew she was running very late, but this is just dangerous! Hey, Canadian ladies! Tame your beavers BEFORE you leave the great white north!!
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Hahahahahah, I suppose Kennedy Space Center = jail.
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Who knew Crazy Astronaut Lady was her role model?
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Passionate on Mon, 03/08/2010 - 11:23pm.
You people think so small! This obviously is one of them common"I watch my ex shave her bits while she is driving to her next John meeting so we can buy more crack & beer" fetishes.
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ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
as opposed to "I watch my ex shave her bits while she is driving to her next John meeting so we can buy more crack and tequila", because that's not as common.
You people think so small! This obviously is one of them common"I watch my ex shave her bits while she is driving to her next John meeting so we can buy more crack & beer" fetishes.
37 years my shaved bikini line. She's seen the shadowed side of forty five.
Wonder if she's related to the Spears clan.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 03/08/2010 - 9:59pm.
I knew Joe Shmoe was going to Florida last week, I knew she was running very late, but this is just dangerous! Hey, Canadian ladies! Tame your beavers BEFORE you leave the great white north!!
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Hahahahahah, I suppose Kennedy Space Center = jail.
Let me guess she was meeting her boyfriend who was getting released from prison.
Why didn't she let her ex-husband drive while she shaved. His driving could not have been any worst than hers.
WOW......
How in the world is this lady 37 years old??
Submitted by Manimal5 on Mon, 03/08/2010 - 9:56pm.
Socky! I went to this restaurant in NY...I think I saw your relatives!!!
http://www.blockheads.com/
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Hi! Manimal! *sock monkey hugs & smooches* First a cousin does the car commercial. Now this other one has their face plastered on the web!
WTF?!?! NOT FAIR! Grrrr....
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Trish Cyrus? Is that you?
Mike -- I went to that site; I am still enjoying it and laughing my ass off!!!!!!!!!!
Does Florida even have a no shaving your cooch while driving law? They need to get bumper stickers with a picture of her half shaved snatch with a red line through it. Don't shave and drive. The clit you save could be your own.
I knew Joe Shmoe was going to Florida last week, I knew she was running very late, but this is just dangerous! Hey, Canadian ladies! Tame your beavers BEFORE you leave the great white north!!
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Damn! She should of just gone with a fucking weed eater to trim down what was "down there." It would have been easier to explain.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Mon, 03/08/2010 - 9:38pm.
Oh, fuck! Me thought that was Kurt Cobain..back from the dead!
Socky! I went to this restaurant in NY...I think I saw your relatives!!!
http://www.blockheads.com/
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Ahhhaha mike,
I just looked through the first few pages of that site and although I'm mortified, I am laughing my ass off. I'm going to end up looking through every page of that horror show.
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FIST PUMP!!
Strangely enough, had someone asked me to describe someone who shaves their pussy while driving, it would've looked exactly like this walking meth lab.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"