The Butler Is Doing Everyone
Gerard Butler is continuing his quest of taste testing every vagina and anus on the planet by getting with Baby Jesus' foster mother Vadge. Gerard and Vadge have known each other since she was married to Guy Ritchie, but apparently they took their relationship to the next level (level: gross) at her Oscar after-party in Hollywood on Sunday night.
A source says that while Baby Jesus was sucking on his thumb in his nursery far far away, Vadge was grinding all over Gerry's greasy body. If you need a visual, just imagine a Gourami fish eating a cherry tomato.
Some witness-type told Hollywood Life, “She was putting on the full-court press, totally charming him – and even challenged him to a dance-off! They were grinding in the middle of the room real close and then Demi joined in. It was hot! Gerard was loving the attention.”
Gerry loves the attention he gets when the nurse practitioner burns off his genital warts one by one, so that's not saying much. For real though, it sounds like nothing really happened. Gerry is old enough to talk back, so Vadge is not interested.
And this is the third or fourth story I've read about Vadge challenging hos to a dance-off. Who outside of high school parking lots (circa 1984) and churches challenges bitches to dance-offs?! Vadge, you are not one of the grannies from Don't Be A Menace in South Central.
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She is starting to look like Priscilla Pressley, Good Lord.
@Khensu Hetep:
Madonna did that book in her early 30s...I think it may have been 10 years before Lourdes was born. Everyone fucks up, but Madonna was proud of that book (Google the pics) and I suspect that she still is. I think she's trying to live two separate lives, one as "Madonna the Sex-mantis" and the other as "Esther the Charitable". I don't care how rich or poor you are, how famous or unknown you are, no one can get away with having two faces forever...the world is too small. Someone will always know what you got up to if you aren't flying solo and they will tell all if it suits.
This makes me wonder if Madonna's book, Three Little Roses, that she said she wrote for Lourdes because girls in her private school were being mean to her was to do with the kid already catching fallout from mom's whorishness. Private school rich children and economically deprived children are exposed to adult situations a lot sooner than most kids because of availability, neglect or the obliviousness of guardians. Madonna may be isolating her kids because Lourdes caught shit a long time ago over her pig whore ways.
Finally, I'll be your ditto head with regard to everything you said. Madonna was no kid coming-of-age when she did that book.
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I am not a pussy.
Submitted by kittycatastrophe on Tue, 03/09/2010 - 4:50pm.
I agree with you!
There's a line between censorship and responsibility. I'm too young to remember whether her daughter had been born by the time the "Sex" book was published, and I don't see anyone censoring Madonna's sexual partners or sexual life, but for fuck's sake, as a parent have at least a little bit of class and discretion about which material to release to the media.
I don't advocate censorship, but I agree with the consequences that if you are going to publish a collection of explicit monologues, that it will haunt you one way or another.
Since the attention whore proudly claimed this book (and its very lurid imagery) in the day, she should expect to raise a very sexually confused brood of children who've seen their mother's vagina virtually inside out and with very ambiguous expectations of sexuality.
Everyone who wants to believe that "SEX" is just an informative coming of age walk through the park about the birds and bees are lying to themselves. It contributed to nothing but social taboos, and as long as people like Madonna and her ditto-heads are around, sexuality will always be a sensitive topic.
Vadge may think that she's empowering herself on all fours like a farm animal, but she actually isn't. This is what the media expects of her and every other young woman within entertainment industry, so as a feminist, Vadge fails too. Sexuality is one thing, but pornography is distortion. Madonna's "empowerment" is a standard wet dream and marketing strategy.
Sex is fun, but Vadge's perspective on sex in general is full of shit.
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Creepy, fat, lonely, and bitter since 2008.
Nurses don't burn genital warts off...they inject some sort of burning liquid and then scrape 'em off with a razor....it is sort of a turn on I guess....
Submitted by literarylioness on Wed, 03/10/2010 - 12:35am.
Submitted by Hautie
But she has turned into the old lady she used to make fun of... too much surgery and desperate to be 25 forever. With everyone laughing at her behind her back.
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Ain't that the truth! She use to make fun of Cher (who is 12 years her senior)for all her plastic surgery and trying to stay young. Cher is crackling now.
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True, and at least Cher has a sense of humor about it; have heard her on more than one interview laughing at herself. I remember watching a clip of Madonna on Youtube -- at the MTV awards about 10 years ago I think, and she seemed soooo different then -- cracking some joke about looking like a Spice Girl or some shit. Yeah, grannie takes herself waaay too seriously these days and is on the fastlane to Norma Desmondville.
he's got saggier tits than her
www.lowbrowsophisticate.com
Submitted by Hautie
But she has turned into the old lady she used to make fun of... too much surgery and desperate to be 25 forever. With everyone laughing at her behind her back.
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Ain't that the truth! She use to make fun of Cher (who is 12 years her senior)for all her plastic surgery and trying to stay young. Cher is crackling now.
I can't stop looking at the carbuncle blotches on Vadge's arm. Maybe she's having an allegic reaction to all the plastic fillers.
.
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Doesn't Vadge practice Kaballah?
Then why's she wearing a cross?
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Creepy, fat, lonely, and bitter since 2008.
Her face and his complexion scare me.
her clevadge looks gross
Grinding between Madonna AND Demi Moore? That's like being the rancid meat in a gristle sandwich.
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Well, someone pass me a dick, 'cause she makes me gayer than a motherfucker.~ BangoSkank
Wash me down with the sound of your National Steel. ~ Colin James
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCYL_HnJvx
Did Gerard just walk off the set of a remake of "Soul Man?" Nice tan.
Si non est alterum, est matrem-futuens alterum.
Submitted by letinstar on Tue, 03/09/2010 - 6:00pm.
who hasn't gerard butler put his lips and peen on...besides myself?
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DListed Loudspeaker:
Letinstar???? Letinstar???? Your services are neeeded immediately in the DListed lounge by one Gerard Butler...Repeat: Letinstar report to DListed lounge for a Gerard Butler tube steak injection...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Truly impressive manwhore skills.
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http://rxhollywood.wordpress.com/
Brahma, along with Vishnu and Shiva, is one of the most important god in Hinduism.
How the hell it ended up being a name of some beer? Just imagine a beer called Allah or Jesus. That's so random.
Anyways, that news is so random. So In Hollyweird a "dance-off" is what people think it's a cool thing to do? LOL
Whatever Madonna has done to her face... it has only made her nose grow longer.
But she has turned into the old lady she used to make fun of... too much surgery and desperate to be 25 forever. With everyone laughing at her behind her back.
I would give good money to hear Elton John's uncensored thoughts about her.
He is so gross and that bucktooth smile makes me violent.
They can have each other, Esther and he are both sluts.
who hasn't gerard butler put his lips and peen on...besides myself?
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what you gonna do? tell mom and dad I put your dick sucking list on facebook?” – "i love facebook like you love cock..."
This dude reminds me of those handful of frat boys in school that did everyone. They were dumb, grease bags but everyone hooked up with them.
Submitted by literarylioness on Tue, 03/09/2010 - 5:03pm.
Submitted by LostInTranslation
Lourdes classmates probably say it to her ALL the time, "Did you know your mother's a whore, Lourdes?" She's totally used to it.
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True and you know Lourdes is going to pull a "Mommy Dearest" on Madonna as soon as she gets out of the house.
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Do you think it's too early to pop my bag of popcorn? It COULD be sitting there for a few years. lol
Just lost all respect and desire for Gerard Butler...Gerard HOW COULD YOU WITH THAT HAG????
Does Madonna still think she is hot and relevant? If she had any class she would retire to Switzerland, and fade away.
Submitted by LostInTranslation
Lourdes classmates probably say it to her ALL the time, "Did you know your mother's a whore, Lourdes?" She's totally used to it.
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True and you know Lourdes is going to pull a "Mommy Dearest" on Madonna as soon as she gets out of the house. Rocco is probably going to come out of the closet at some point. David and Mercy will be in some conflicted piece for Vanity Fair (if it is still around) about Vadge and coming out of Africa. Man, you can just write these kids' futures already.
Where is everyone? Is there a Facebook convention going on?
Randy Quaid. RANDY QUAID! Just look at that photo. Dead ringer.
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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull
Submitted by kittycatastrophe
Original Madonna would have cared less if someone called her a pig whore; the 2.0 version is the faux-prude who tries to hide what she was.
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Too true and why I no longer like Vadge. At one time she was an original and now she is a clone of something that never existed.
Lourdes classmates probably say it to her ALL the time, "Did you know your mother's a whore, Lourdes?" She's totally used to it.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 03/09/2010 - 2:07pm.
Submitted by putas on Tue, 03/09/2010 - 2:04pm.
Dance off? how fucking gay is that.
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No kidding! The fact that the other gristled piece of jerky, Demi Moore was involved, makes it even gayer.
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LMFAO @ "gristled piece of jerky, Demi"
I can't wait for Lourdes to find out about what a crazy whore her mother was, because you know she's gonna throw it in Whoredonna's face every chance she has. She will NEVER listen to her mother's crazy strict demands again.
All the stem cells in the country were bought by Madonna last week. Her face is as round and full as a Snooki's.
@GiveIt2Me:
It was just a slut's book to me, but to her kids its going to be a hell of a lot more than that. When you do shit like that, all of the isolation in the world isn't going to prevent someone from throwing her pig whore photo dream journal in her kids' faces. When you don't have kids it doesn't matter who you fuck, but when you have kids you need to be prepared to have documentation of your whoring thrown in your face. Original Madonna would have cared less if someone called her a pig whore; the 2.0 version is the faux-prude who tries to hide what she was.
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I am not a pussy.
Open Post is just sizzling today.
The news today says that 1 out of 6 people has Herpes. When Madonna's around, 6 out of 6 people have Herpes.
Madonna, this ridiculous whore, looks like a butcher's wife.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Blech!
submitted by Snarf n
ot buying it. Gerry circa Dracula 2000 or 300 maybe, but not now.
____________________________________________________Yeah, Gerry was hot in Dracula 2000.
There is something so wrong yet so right about these two hooking up. I cannot put my finger on it. The Sex book was such a joke! The few people I know who have it say their copies are falling apart, because of how cheaply they were made. If anyone recalls, they were made like spiral notebooks.
at Kittycatastrophe
Madonna's SEX book was just a book.. grow some balls ya prude
Vadge has got some serious ta ta's wow
I'm surprised she likes standing next to him since he's actually heterosexual and old enough to shave.
He looks doofy there but at least he seems like a nice fun guy. She looks like Gollum in a wig and lipstick.
He's one of a handful of straight men in Hollywood, so it's not like she has a huge pool of famous men to choose from. Eventually she will cross paths with the other few straight guys like Colin Farrell, Zack Braff (too wimpy for her probably), and d-bag John Mayer(I *think* he's straight) etc. single Hollywood females recycle the same group of man-whores over and over.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
Ugggg Crypt Keeper!
The one thing that Madge has done that I wish she'd done years ago is that she seems less furry now. If you remember she had some fierce facial hair going on, sideburns that rivaled El's.
OK, Hollywood hos must be most desperate these days because Gerard Butler ıs NAST!
And I would approve the above photo and Madonna's face but that pıc looks lıke ıt was soaked ın smoke and doused wıth vaselıne so I just cannot.
I doubt those cheek ımplants have deflated much.
EPIC FAIL!
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Clarisse:
FUCKIN' FUCK YEA!
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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
@Disraeli_Ears & Twat Muffin
Madonna's definitely the bigger control freak and least attentive of the two. I don't think that's going to help her when her kids get a look at her SEX book from the 90s. Madonna in that book...what a fucking pig; don't know why she ever had kids once she did that.
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I am not a pussy.
SpiceDong: Twice today you have pulled at my heartstrings. Once with a shout-out to Lindsay Wagner and now with your admiration for "Once Bitten". Keep this up and I may fall in lurve!
I cannot for the life of me see the appeal of Gerard Butler. How the hell does Bulldogface get so much ass? He's fugly. He looks like a pig in heat. He has drunk face ALL THE TIME - and not the fun drunk, the gross drunk that shouts expletives to other bar patrons and chases schoolgirls down the street slurring gibberish and asking for blow jobs.
As for Madonna, she doesn't look like a living person anymore. My mom was born on the same day as she was (same day, same month, same year) and looks like she could be her daughter. When I tell her this she lights up - apparently 20 years ago being better looking that Madonna meant something, and she hasn't gotten around to see the corpse Madge has become these days.
@ kittycatastrophe - I agree. I would actually give a slight edge to AJ over Madonna, though: reading about Madonna's life and schedule, I don't see how she has ANY time for 4 kids. Plus, Madonna seems like a total self-centered biyatch.
But they both seem to leave most of the kid-raising to nannies.
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And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know?
i also loved the comment you made a while back about GB's complexion looking like an inflamed genital wart.
priceless!