Hot Slut Of The Day!
Since Banana Jesus has already been blended, swallowed, digested and sent down the sewer tunnel of broken memories, we need a new breakfast messiah. Behold BACON JESUS! I've always suspected that the body of Christ is in pieces of delicious bacon, but now we have proof! After drinking a few beers with his roommates late one night, a 22-year-old UK man was suddenly in the mood for a swiney treat. The dude started to make a few pieces of bacon, but he fell asleep while it was cooking (Real Talk Translation: Bitch was TANKED like a Hoff).
Thankfully, the smoke (aka Bacon Jesus' farts) woke the dude from his drunk coma, but the bacon was completely burnt into the pan by the time he got to it. As he scraped the bacon off the pan, he noticed the face of Jesus Christ staring back at him. The dude told the Daily Mail, "It’s some kind of miracle!" (Real Talk Translation: It's some kind of miracle you can only see when you're so stoned your eyelids go numb!) Bacon Jesus is now hanging on the wall of his apartment.
Okay, don't tell anyone, but Bacon Jesus looks like if Mona Lisa got involved with the wrong people (i.e. Orphan Girl at the Cemetery) and started spending her nights smoking meth under the bridge. That will be our secret. In the meantime, HAIL BACON JESUS! Smear yourself in bacon lube, drink a shot of bacon vodka and PRAISE!
• 
Drunk dude mistook Jocelyn Wildenstein for Jesus.
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Do you also want a boycot?
No thanks. My mancot is working quite nicely.
That is not Jesus, It's Che Guevara - The Revolution LIVES!!!!
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"Escandalo! Okay, I'm totally making shit up." ~ M.K. 08/31/09
This is a complete fake. Also a fake? The person who posted that blog entry. MK is quite saucy in his commentary, but he has NEVER gone this far when making jokes about Jesus (and even when he makes the milder jokes, he always ends with "oh, I'm going to hell now" or something like that.
I'm not saying it's not funny, it just doesn't sound like him.
Fakin' bacon.
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 03/12/2010 - 11:37am.
It is unbelievable that people are so fucking stupid to actually think this is real. Fucking RETARDS!
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Exactly, Stoney!
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Looks more like Bacon Cisco Adler to moi.
It's a pretty good likeness, actually. I especially love the oversized anime eyes.
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Strong enough for a woman, but made for a man.
Looks like the rays were an afterthought.
What a fucking waste of good bacon.
It is unbelievable that people are so fucking stupid to actually think this is real. Fucking RETARDS!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
That's a sign that drunk boy needs to sober up.
I just fried bacon last week (don't judge!) and... well, it just doesn't make those thorn-style burn marks. Unless this guy shredded his bacon first. Mmm. Fried bacon shreds.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm wheres the Holy Toast? I think i'm a born again Crisptian..crisptian? get it? GET IT?
Not.Buying.This.Shit.For.A.Minute
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
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All that I'm after is a life full of laughter as long as I'm laughing with you.
I understand all the pilgrimage flights from Mexico to the UK are fully booked.
I hope it was turkey bacon!
EW bacon lube, bcon vodka, bacon water (at least that's for dogs, and rightly so) is GROSS! Some people, including the inventors, are terribly wrong in the head.
and i thought i was mentally unbalanced.
You mean he's not putting it on eBay for the Golden Palace to buy????????
*shockface*
i'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that looks totally man-made.
MK!! LMAO!
"Okay, don't tell anyone, but Bacon Jesus looks like if Mona Lisa got involved with the wrong people (i.e. Orphan Girl at the Cemetery) and started spending her nights smoking meth under the bridge."
BWAHAHAHAAA!!!!!
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POOP (nourish the inner asshole)
oh god, what BS.
I choose to believe in the mythical powers of bacon.
WWBJD ? (what would Bacon Jesus do ?)
Somehow, I don't think he'd be smiling
up at us from a pan of rendered PORK fat.
I call drunken shenanigans.
( even Bacon Jesus is giving this the side-eye)
It's pretty obvious thae he was scraping, noticed a vague, vague face pattern, and added his own embellishments.
Aaaahahaa!
"It’s some kind of miracle!" (Translation: It's some kind of miracle you can only see when you're so stoned your eyelids go numb!) Bacon Jesus is now hanging on the wall of his apartment.
(I thought MK said, "on the wall of his ATONEMENT." omfg, now I'm getting a contact high just reading this)
.
.
mmm ... delicious bacon.
I love the crown of thorns effect. nice touch, guy.
Submitted by agirl on Fri, 03/12/2010 - 9:35am.
That image was created by someone, it did not just appear like that.
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Totally. What's with the star around his head?
♥ Threadkilla!
One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.
~ Kurt Vonnegut
Ahahaaa! lmfao
"Bacon Jesus looks like if Mona Lisa got involved with the wrong people (i.e. Orphan Girl at the Cemetery)"
PS: I think Jesus tripped on a can of photoshop on the way to the SEND button
.
.
That image was created by someone, it did not just appear like that.
P.S. mmmm, bacon
No fairsies! You know how many times I passed out making bacon and Jesus never came to me ONCE! Pooh!
♥ Threadkilla!
One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.
~ Kurt Vonnegut
Jesus does not look amused.
<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>
"I am going to rock myself in a corner in my Slanket now." - Plecostomus
How long before folks start making pilgrimages to this guy's apartment, to pray to Bacon Jesus and offer it flowers and shit?
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"No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart"
WHAT?? A 22-year-old man from the UK was on the piss? NO WAY!
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Well, someone pass me a dick, 'cause she makes me gayer than a motherfucker.~ BangoSkank
I love bacon. I always knew it had magical powers.
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"I truly don't like you as a person. Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?"
BACON ! NOM NOM NOM ! Steak & BJ Day is this Sunday! If any of you horz are having second thoughts then listen to these two lovely ladies: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlXZoBkZjs0 ***********************************************************************************************
My first purpose in life is bring joy and comfort to those I love, after that I'm just here to annoy folks.
http://www.steakandbjday.com/