The Featherweight Champion Of The World

You know how you regularly hug a bottle of whiskey, and kiss it goodnight before caressing its forehead? Well, Mike Tyson does that too, but he does it with pigeons. PIGEONS! Yes, those nasty creatures that always shit on your head without buying you a drink first.

Mike loves pigeons so much that he's doing a reality show about pigeon racing for Animal Planet. So let's recap. Mike Tyson loves pigeons, and there's such a thing as pigeon racing. Did I just get to this planet or something? What in the pigeon head fuck?

The New York Daily News says that "Taking on Tyson" will begin production this Spring in NYC. Mike will take viewers into the competitive world of pigeon racing. Mike has raised pigeons all of his life, but he's never raced them. Cameras will follow him as a team of experts helps him train and race his pigeons against more experienced pigeon racers. Seriously, I've got the same look on my face that Mike Tyson had when Robin Givens was telling Barbara Walters about how he beat her ass. This world is crazy.

Jokes aside, I have a feeling that Mike Tyson is going to be the greatest pigeon racer who ever raced. Think about it. If you were a pigeon and Mike Tyson had just let you go, you'd fly as though you were getting fucked in the butt by a lit firecracker. You'd fly far far away from his scary face.

And did somebody say PIGEON:

This better be the theme song for Mike's show.

Posted by: Michael K

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Animal Stories • The Mind Is Boggled

Submitted by LASux on Wed, 03/17/2010 - 5:56am.

Does this moron not know that pigeon's are full of disease? What a f'n idiot.

Submitted by BlossomEndRot on Wed, 03/17/2010 - 2:24am.

The cliche idiots who keep saying "pigeons are rats with wings" are officially in bed with Woody Allen and his pedo brain. He was the genius that cooked up that idiotic line. And for the record, pigeons are clean, smart, loyal, and incredibly good parents. Team Tyson. ________________________________________________
The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits....A. Einstein.

Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 11:07pm.

And btw - I LOVE THIS SONG!

"This ain't mah car like that ain't yo hair!"

♥ Threadkilla!
Heterosexuality is not normal. It's just common.
~ Dorothy Parker

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 9:54pm.

Mike Tyson + pigeon racing = just damn fine programming. SERIOUSLY, must-see TV.

Submitted by buddhistgirl69 on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 9:46pm.

There was a pigeon that lived under our willow tree on the front lawn for a whole summer. I fed it, made it comfortable, and one day he/she flew away. That little bird was not afraid of dogs, cats, other birds, nothing! Team Pigeons!

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 8:26pm.

Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 7:08pm.
This little tidbit made me feel all motherly toward him. I think it's nice that he has a nice hobby and he cares for his birds.
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I KNOW! It's like an 'awwww...' moment...Like meh, so he landed his best punch at Robin Givens...bitch was annoying...and so he bit the ear off Evander Holyfield...bitch had too much ear...And so he raped that Miss America contestant...Ok, I won't go there...but wook at Mikey and da birdies!!!!! He wurves 'em....Awwww....

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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by gnarlyone on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 8:22pm.

" I coulda been a contender...I coulda been somebody ...instead of a bum...which is what I am let's face it" ...not you mike me...heh heh...
but he was good in "The Hangover"

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/

Submitted by mitchyul on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 7:52pm.

This has desperate writen all over it. How much trash TV can the US take?

Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 7:08pm.

This little tidbit made me feel all motherly toward him. I think it's nice that he has a nice hobby and he cares for his birds.

It's funny that wherever in the world you go, there are pigeons there.

Submitted by mike on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 7:06pm.

People have been racing and breeding (and breeding to be better racers) pigeons for centuries. It's not a ghetto thing.

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 6:56pm.

First 'The Hangover' now a reality show? Proof a celeb can bounce back from damn near anything. I guess people can officially get off Michael Vick's back.

Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON

Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 6:45pm.

I like pigeons because they're trashy.

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Creepy, fat, lonely, and bitter since 2008.

Submitted by TheBreakdown on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 6:43pm.

Pigeons are basically rats with wings.

And this one is probably about to have his head chomped off by Sir Mike!

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Submitted by snuffy on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 6:37pm.

Pigeons are awesome! They're way cleaner than any of us filthy whores, and they do really sweet dances and love to snuggle... And I kiss my pigeon goodnight before making out with the JD, it's no big deal.

Pigeon racing isn't just a ghetto thing, hillbillies and the queen of England do it, too. I think they're nicer as pets but at least he appreciates that they aren't flying rats... And for the record, I think a rat with wings sounds fucking adorable.

Also, Tyson loves doves & Woody Allen hates them...
Rapist > Pedo

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I've seen things that would make you crap a book on how to puke.
-Officer Jay

Submitted by letinstar on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 6:10pm.

pigeons are flying rats...
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what you gonna do? tell mom and dad I put your dick sucking list on facebook?” – "i love facebook like you love cock..."

Submitted by Jayda on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 6:02pm.

I heard they race and train pigeons in the ghetto but not in the ghettos here.

Submitted by Supreme Soviet on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 5:54pm.

If I could raise pigeons, the first thing I would teach them is how to shit on the newly washed cars of the assholes who use my parking spot.

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It is possible blondes also prefer gentlemen. -Mamie Van Doren

Submitted by Supreme Soviet on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 5:52pm.

Well, at least he can't bite off their ears...

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It is possible blondes also prefer gentlemen. -Mamie Van Doren

Submitted by babybunny on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 5:44pm.

Didn't you see Training Day??? That is the ghetto thing...keeping pigeons on a roof an training them...as boring as this show sounds...I heard a commercial for it on the radio...HILARIOUS...Mike says, I am a father, a boxer, a this and that...(I forgot), and sometimes a good husband...at least he is honest. I love Mike...and although I am not a HUGE pigeon fan, I will watch cause I love tough guys being nice to any critter...

Submitted by madam ex on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 5:32pm.

A friend of mine does this, I find it repulsive, but they are smart fuckers, they go all the way to Florida and come back to his house in Brooklyn, he wears one of the longest nails one of them had around his neck like a charm, very very creepy.

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 5:03pm.

Between this, the Kendra E! True Hollywood Story, and the current lineup of "Dancing With The Stars," I think it's safe to say that TV has officially jumped the shark...or the apocalypse is near. Whatever comes first.
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Douchechill!

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 5:02pm.

He's amusing with his baby-lisp voice, his volatile temper, and his ham-fists.

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"You sir, have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk."

Submitted by Vern on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 4:41pm.

Jeebus! What's scarier? Mike Tyson's Mouf or a Tiger's Mouf?

Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 4:39pm.

Is someone broke?

It's entertaining that Mike Tyson has yet to grasp the reality that no-one takes him seriously anymore.

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Creepy, fat, lonely, and bitter since 2008.

Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 4:33pm.

I'LL RACE U TILL U LOVE ME FAGGOT!!!!

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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown

Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 4:31pm.

Great. Just what we needed, more proof that the world is coming to an end.

"What's your motto?" "Kill everyone NOW"

Submitted by HollyG on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 4:27pm.

HAHAHAHA, omg MK, the hip hop station played this shit everytime they played No Scrubs! Thanks for more effed up jr high memories!

"Picking a favorite blog is like picking a favorite crackhead. I don't know if I can do it" (MK, you're my fave crackhead)

Submitted by madam s. on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 4:26pm.

I think he's using that pigeon as a crack pipe.

____________________
FIST PUMP!!

Submitted by Sayonara on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 4:24pm.

Ha Ha I remember that song... Whatever happened to Sporty Theivz (Thieves)?!

Mad Cobra vs. Mad Lion

Submitted by luscious_t on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 4:02pm.

Believe it or not, folks, but I'm friends with a couple who raise and race pigeons - they've been doing it a couple of years now. :\

*****
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
"WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS FACE?"
-my 11 yr-old son, upon seeing a recent picture of Brad Pitt (yes, my kid IS the awesome)

Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 03/16/2010 - 4:00pm.

So let's recap. Mike Tyson loves pigeons, and there's such a thing as pigeon racing. Did I just get to this planet or something?
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Add to that the fact that we're making a television show about Mike Tyson racing pigeons. I've been here a while so I'm not surprised at all.

♥ Threadkilla!
Heterosexuality is not normal. It's just common.
~ Dorothy Parker