Vanilla Gorilla, How Could You?!
Shortly after Kate Winslet announced she was quitting her husband, everyone started screaming about the Best Actress Oscar CURSE! Charlize Theron, Hilary Swank, Reese Witherspoon and now Kate Winslet all split from their full-time pieces after winning Best Actress. I guess Oscar is a possessive asshole and doesn't like to share. Well, Sandra Bullock could be next in line to be bit in the ass by the Oscar curse. That's if you believe InTouch Weekly and a trick who goes by the name Bombshell. Bitch Boom Bye!
According to InTouch, while Sandra Bullock was off shooting The Blind Side in Atlanta, her husband Jesse James was blind siding her ass by passing his peen to Michelle "Bombshell" McGee. Yes, MCGEE! Why did InTouch have to do this to Sandra on today of all days? That leprechaun-tini really isn't going to taste the same to her today.
Michelle claims that she carried on an 11-month affair with Jesse after meeting him on Facebook. Michelle was interested in possibly modeling for Jesse's company, West Coast Choppers, so she sent them a friend request. Jesse personally wrote her back and asked her to e-mail him privately. After exchanging a few e-mails back and forth, Michelle met Jesse at West Coast Choppers one night. Jesse gave her a tour of the garage, and then took her back to his office to "watch movies." We all know what that means. Basically, Jesse stuck his disc in Michelle's slot.
But before they got down and dirty, Michelle asked Jesse about Sandra. He told her, "She doesn’t live here. She has a house in Austin. She is filming, and I can’t talk about it." Michelle and Jesse continued to do fucky times together for the next five weeks. Michelle claims they probably got it on two or three times a week. When they weren't bumping tats, they were texting each other constantly.
InTouch didn't offer up any picture proof, but Michelle did say that Jesse doesn't wear underwear or condoms. Michelle nicknamed him "Vanilla Gorilla," because of his big dick.
You know, mistress whores really are a dime-a-dozen (seriously, you can buy 12 for a dime at The Dollar Tree), so Michelle really needed to come hard here if she wanted to play. Now, I'm not saying that I would fall of my chair if this turned out to be true. Jesse was married to a porn star, so I doubt he's wearing a halo over his wang. But words don't mean shit nowadays. We're going to need pictures, videos, DNA, and several GIFs of the Vanilla Gorilla's banana. So until Michelle comes up real proof, she can take a seat with the other tricks. Tell my cousins I said "hi," Michelle.
But more importantly, what does CinnaBun have to say about this?!
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You just know he has a big dick.
Probably....These men of theirs are just big pussy's who can't handle the fame of their female counterparts? Who knows, but that statistic is pretty interesting.
oscar curse = over inflated egos
Cinnabun is so CUTE!!!
I'm kinda laughing because Vanilla Gorilla was supposed to be Jesse's screen name on the Monster Garage forums. She might just be an attention seeking fan talking shit.
A marriage does not end because someone cheats. Someone in the marriage cheats because its ended already,even if its not apparent at that moment.
Problems in the marriage are the cause, cheating is the effect.
Jesse is a major dumb ass if this is true....I really hope not cause he got WWAAYY lucky marrying Sandy.
Random biological fact: gorillas have the smallest peens (relative to body size) of all primates at <2 in. I am amused that his nickname is practically an insult.
At any rate, Tatt Twat seems more his speed than Sandra and I wouldn't be surprised if it's true.
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Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you you gonna bite?
I'm usually the first one to believe when stories come out about cheaters,but I don't buy this shit. I think he and Sandy should sue this publication.
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Chris Brown needs to like, wow, take that stupid ass bow tie and shove it down his throat. It's like, wow. WOW. --MK 8/31/09
Hell to the naw :( Jesse is a creep if he screwed around on Sandra.
Snideychick sez:
Ugly fucking douchebag! DTMFA Sandy!
Ewwww! I am ashamed to admit this, but my hubby has a serious hard-on for this JJ guy. My husband is a really good person, a total square really... I don't know what is the draw with douche bags like JJ. So many guys want to be like him. As a woman I kind him really skeezy. He looks like some redneck-crackhead I would find in an isle of Wal-Mart at 2am. Sandra is awesome, but she probably has some major self-esteem issues. She is really slumming it by being with him, and I think this is going to wake her up, finally.
I can't even understand that bombshell shit. She looks like just another stupid Kat Von D. These ho's think they're being so original with their tattoo's and stupid pin-up haircuts. These women are indeed a dime a dozen and they take themselves far too seriously. Their ego's are just too fucking big. I wonder what she is going to do after all this shit is over? No one is going to want her picture when she is 40.
Jessie say it ain't so!
Usually I'm all for los scandalos and such, but after seeing Sandra in her Oscar buildup on every damn talk show talking about how much she's in love with her husband and how secure and stable he makes her life, I sure hope this isn't true!! Because she's completely vulnerable and trusting, at least IMO, so this would devastate her- and I love me some Sandra B! (what was her chola nickname again?)
The Vanilla Gorilla??? The Bombshell??? my ass. That's what happens when you let people make up their own nicknames. How 'bout alleged cheating moron and stupid over-inked sperm dumpster???
Submitted by SpiceDong on Wed, 03/17/2010 - 2:47pm.
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When JJ was on the Apprentice, Donald Trump kept wondering what was it about him that landed him Sandra Bullock. He wasn't saying JJ was a crappy guy but he wondered how a guy like him could get such a beautiful woman like Sandra. JJ just kept smiling that smile.
Could be, a big dick keeps 'em satisfied.
I would be pissed about the no condom part... she looks nasty, and not in a good way!
SpiceDong seems to fancy himself a professor of big dick analogies.
Nice av.
Gorillas aren't well endowed like horses or donkeys...so it can't be a reference to a big dick...maybe what the stupid twat is trying to say is that Jesse is hairy and husky like a gorilla yet very vanilla in bed despite his rough appearance.
that is the only way this term makes any sense.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hMrY8jysdg
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That McGee trick is seriously fugly with all those tattoos. And face tattoos? uh, no.
Sandy seems like a cool person, I hope this isn't true, but I wouldn't be surprised if it is.
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Dale Doback: Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go!
Oh btw... here is the "Bombshell"'s Myspace page.
http://www.myspace.com/thesocalbombshell
so manly.
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"Sarah Jessica Parker has the same exact cardigan as my abuelita. BITER!" -- MK
i'm gonna pretend this is not true...
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what you gonna do? tell mom and dad I put your dick sucking list on facebook?” – "i love facebook like you love cock..."
How can she say she nicknamed him the vanilla gorilla when it appears he's had that stupid ass nickname for atleast a few years. People who brag about their cock being huge usually have freakishly small dicks.
That lady looks like a dude, btw. For Sandra's sake I hope this is not true. She seems like a down to earth person. I can't see why she'd be with a shithole like JJ anyway. She should just leave his bitch ass anyway.
sad
"All cats are gray in the dark"
-my baby sister
I've been wrong before. But for some reason I always saw Sandra as a lesbian. I see her with a lady. I am probabaly way off on that though.
Serves her right for trusting a tattoed douchebag. If he was married to a porn star then rest assured he needs to constantly be putting his peen to use. He also looks like the type of guy who can't bother to properly wash the dry smegma off his dick, maybe that's why that ho called him a vanilla gorilla.
Sorry for the multiple posts...not fully caffeinated yet.
Yeah, I refuse to believe this as well. She's ugly and Jesse seems completely smitten in his wife with every photo of them on the web. Screw this shit.
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"The Count on Sesame Street is scarier and more captivating than those preening whack vamps from Twilight." DListed user Master Blaster 6/09/09 (So true!)
Follow me on Twitter @t_rex_arms
I believe every minute of it.
I believe every minute of it.
I believe every minute of it.
Ooh, you know he did it. I never did understand this pairing, except maybe she was trying to find someone "real" in Hollyweird. And of course he wanted a good girl after being with stanks all his life. But you know his ass missed them hos who'll do all the sex tricks in Urban Dictionary.
And all those years Sandy was being nice to the skanky ex-wife, and that kid of his. Sandy's either a saint or in serious denial. Sheeit.
I choose not to believe this.
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"You don't fucking say.”
Honestly I always believed this marriage to be fake. I had a friend who lived next door to Sandra a few years back before she got married. There were always big butch lesbians in pick up trucks coming and going from her house. Maybe they were just installing tiles or something, but we always believed that Sandra was playing for the other team.
I...wanna Rock N Roll all Nite...and party everyday.
Cute puppeh!
OT: I hope this isn't true. I'm not a fan of her movies but Sandra seems like a genuinely nice person.
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Life's a jest, and all things show it/I thought so once, but now I know it.
Well Bombshell Mcgee is kinda hot. Also really hot? her armpit tattoos and name?
When will celebrities fucking learn to not date other famous people?
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"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."
Jesse can come over to my house for some comforting when Sandy throws his ass out. I don't mind used merchandise now and then :P
"What's your motto?" "Kill everyone NOW"
Sandy can do better then this turd, if the story is true.
My homo buddy said weeks ago "He must have been fucking some chick who got pissed off and stole his dog. Straight bitches do shit like that!" BombShell musta took the dog.
I feel sad over this and Kate Winslet...I love those 2 women, and especially Sandra, she stood by this douches side and took in his daughter from another whore and is raising her. If this story is true, he fell way down the latter for me, I used to love them together.
Hmmm - due to "personal reasons" Sandra is not attending the London premiere of The Blindside.
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20352311,00.html
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Declaration of Compassion:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCqnmzSyyvI&feature=related
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Wed, 03/17/2010 - 10:30am.
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Present company excepted!!
Submitted by over here on Wed, 03/17/2010 - 9:22am.
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 03/17/2010 - 9:10am.
I wanna be a bunny!
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Me too!
And TY, You_Complete_Me but Mack's face looks ZACKLY the same! WTF?!?
♥ Threadkilla!
Heterosexuality is not normal. It's just common.
~ Dorothy Parker
*Gack* I just saw her pic. Someone needs to punch her in the vagina.
Submitted by Bowchickawawa on Wed, 03/17/2010 - 12:08pm.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 03/17/2010 - 10:40am.
"Interests:Friends and working out
Favorite Music:Blood 4 blood, Slayer, Misfits, Air Supply
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Is there a random "Favorite Music" generator on FB that I don't know about?
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LOL! Seriously.
♥ Threadkilla!
Heterosexuality is not normal. It's just common.
~ Dorothy Parker
WOW....everybody wants there 15 minutes.....what a cunt!!
Awwww Cinnabun..is the only loyal bitch..
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"low self esteem is a bitch"...
Hey Tink, my name is Pamela as well, too funny. Peace.
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Submitted by Pamela on Wed, 03/17/2010 - 10:06am.
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks that made me bust out laughing and now my office cohorts think Im nutty!
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Submitted by pgoat on Wed, 03/17/2010 - 10:01am.
If true, they're both a couple of swirly turds that need to be flushed.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 03/17/2010 - 10:40am.
"Interests:Friends and working out
Favorite Music:Blood 4 blood, Slayer, Misfits, Air Supply
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Is there a random "Favorite Music" generator on FB that I don't know about? Slayer AND Air Supply appreciation all wrapped up in that lovely lass? That's a keeper.
Big peens are a dime a dozen, too. Maybe Jesse should think about the waist next time? Of course, there'll be denials.
Is anyone REALLY surprised?
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LiLo is a hag...