Eat, Fuck, Poop, Sleep
If you're like me then you usually pray for sex (or "love" as some call it), get sex and then eat afterwards because an orgasm usually brings on the munchies. So shouldn't the title of the book be Pray, Love, Eat instead of Eat, Pray, Love? Yes, it should.
Anyways, above is the trailer for the Fuck, Eat, Shit movie starring Julia Roberts as some co-dependent lady who runs off to foreign lands to find herself. Just call it Under the (fill in the name of a foreign country here) Sun. Of course there's a scene where Julia Roberts is battling with her jeans. Why are women in movies always torturing their jeans?! Bitch, just get new jeans. Old Navy is having a special.
Oh, and Julia Roberts' character needs to pull up a chair, because Charlene has something to tell her:
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When will this best-selling book authors write the truth? As in, "Went to look for myself and found herpes and dysentery?"
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Yes, that book sucked balls! A selfish cunt "can't find herself." How come no one talks about how she got paid to write this book? It was no accident. Her ex-husband (the one she left) is writing a memoir about how this bitch basically left him for a good paycheck and because she did not want kids. Shouldn't they have discussed this BEFORE they got married? Oh, but I do love the Charlene song.
Hated this book. I don't get it.
A selfish, spoiled, self centered woman leaves her husband and perfectly fine life to pursue selfish desires. In a very "poor me" kind of attitude she goes to Italy, India and Indonesia for a whole year while her husband is left to pick up the pieces of the life she broke for him!! I am supposed to have sympathy for this spoiled, entitled cunt ?!?
p.s. ya I'm bitter about my ex leaving me for selfish pursuits!! wanna fight about it!!
If we had a thread for actors and actresses that did not deserve their Oscars it would teeter over 1,000 hits.
Seriously.
This year Best Actress receipient did not deserve hers either. And probably less than Julia Roberts, but hey...all the sweethearts somehow manage to get one.
And that means you too, Reese!
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
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Submitted by pixie-stix on Fri, 03/19/2010 - 4:55am.
Hated the book and I can't stand Julia Roberts. This movie will be a waste of time.
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And I thought I was the only person who massively dislikes Julia Roberts...phewww :)
The film is bland. *snor*
Hated the book and I can't stand Julia Roberts. This movie will be a waste of time.
the book really sucks! i tried to read it and it is just a whining memoir of a totally spoiled bitch! UGH!!! the writing is not good and she really bugged the shit out of me...but perhaps it's good if you need something to bore you to pieces and put you to sleep!
She's such a one-trick cuntish actress. I never understood her appeal.
Julia Roberts need to EAT a dozen donuts a day, PRAY her ass doesn't outgrow her nose, and LOVE retirement.
That movie looks like shite. Julia Roberts "finds herself" - who gives a shit, really?
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"Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul"
I thought Julia was through with Hollywood. I like her brother Eric, but I am sick of her.
Mad Cobra vs. Mad Lion
What does "I've been to Paradise, but I've never been to me" mean? Does she need one of those signs with a dot that says "You are here"?
I actually thought about reading this book, although it did seem like a typical middle class white woman going around the globe to find herself ~yawn~ but the story did seem to have an interesting moral to it, I guess.
Anyway, seeing Julia Roberts has turned me off from the book. The only reason I'd see it is because the guys are hot (Javier Bardem? YES!). Julia bores me.
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Sandra Bullock's Oscar win is one of the Seven Signs of the Apocalypse. Better believe that shit.
Julia Roberts and James Franco in this movie? I am so fucking sick of this new cougar trend and how it gives older women some kind of "empowerment" to date men young enough to be their kids. It's disgusting when old men get with young girls and disgusting when old women do it, too. Face it, delusional cougars, men will fuck anything, even you with a free available hole and that's all you will mean. Good God people, get some dignity. Date people your own age.
Sorry I kinda went off topic there but it really gets old when people are so fucking delusional all the time. And I am sick with the flu so I want to be kind of mean, too. Sorry.
Eat. Fuck. Poop. Sleep.
Sounds like my honeymoon.
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"You sir, have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk."
the music sounds very "eighties" but interesting, probably because i'm fucking old, and so is julia roberts.
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Danny: [slaps Bandy]
Archie: No, no, no, NO. Come on, do it properly, with the back of the right hand.
Julia Roberts' lips look like Chynna's pussy lips.
In more important news: Charlene is a hot bitch. I remember being in 8th grade (shut up all of you) when it came out and it used to be so scandalous at the time! I think she should make a comeback and sing an updated version of "Sugar Walls" and show her geezegina in Playboy.
Anything with Julia Roberts name attached to it is an automatic piece of shit, there, I've just given you two more hours of life you wouldn't have had.
Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 03/18/2010 - 10:51am.
Can I give the ending away?
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Oh, please say it ends with her violent, gory death at the hands of a Stanley Tucci-like serial killer (The Lovely Bones).
Ugh, I thought the movie going public was free from horse-chompers Roberts. I can't stomach her. She'll play the same character she plays in ALL her movies: an annoying twat with an obnoxiously loud horsey laugh.
How she got an Academy award for Erin Brokabitch is inconceivable.
Critter-mouthed Roberts in movies? Blegh.
Stupid spoiled whore using brown people to absolve herself of being a stupid spoiled whore? Double blegh and tired-assed meme.
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Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you you gonna bite?
Good book, trailer boring and Julia looks miscast here.
When this book first came out I heard the interview with the author on NPR... it was so damn pathetic and irritating I cannot even describe.
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FIST PUMP!!
You're not 'jooree box almost snappin your hand off / hysterical laughter' cute anymore. Actually you never were so run along now and quit annoying us.
I'm probably going to be the odd duck here. I can't STAND Julia Roberts, BUT .... I think I would probably like that movie.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
This movie makes me want to stab it repeatedly. Whining white women who have everything! Jesus H. Christ. And I absolutely HATE Julia Roberts' smug kisser.
PASS.
However, that Charlene song is one of the "Great Pop Songs About Whores," the other two being "Torn Between Two Lovers" and "Angel of the Morning." As my friend's mom said about TBTL, "Not only is she a ho, she's a stupid ho."
Another movie I shall gladly pass on. Can't stand Julia Roberts; she totally did not deserve that Oscar.
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"Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul"
I'm the odd one out, I loved the book. Don't really want to see the movie though.
book review in amazon
That it has received a lot of attention is no surprise. Look at the drivel America reads. Light, shallow laughs, sex, food, not much real thought. That's the sum of this book. Feel-good rubbish that inspires not one iota of serious thought. Gilbert's slapphappy universe is one in which everything can be solved with pizza and fresh mozarella. Every paragraph contains at least one stock one-liner. This isn't literature. It's stand-up comedy of the worst kind. We've read it all before. She claims she can make friends with anyone. It's precisely that lack of discernment and depth that makes this story forgettable. The prose is laced with one cliche, one trite and cutesy obvservation after another. Some reviewer here said this book is not a book but a magazine article. Exactly right. I finally closed the book when I read that while in India she wanted to "valet park" a destitue family into a new life. It isn't just that the phrase is a silly toss-off modernism but that there's no true emotion in it. You'll never know how this woman really feels. Don't waste your money on it.
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
Submitted by MuffinAmy on Thu, 03/18/2010 - 12:07pm.
That song always made me giggle in it's awful epic-ness..
God yes, it's a howler right up there with "Reach Out (in the Darkness)" by Friend and Lover, or "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler, but thank you MK for sharing Charlene with us today.
"What's your motto?" "Kill everyone NOW"
Hmm...selfish, entitled white bitch finds enlightenment with a bunch of dark-skinned people who have nothing else to do but cheer her on.
Ugh, as someone who was born in the third world these kinds of movies just annoy the hell out of me. Because you KNOW a bunch of memaws are gonna watch this movie and then try to get laid in some South American country.
That song always made me giggle in it's awful epic-ness and I don't have any clue who the trick singing it is, I don't think she was the one who sang the radio version (yes, I'm old.) Do love that she keeps flipping her early 80's do, though.
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"Kirsten suspected she might be knocked up when her monthly batch of menstrual berries weren't delivered to her vagina dock. " -- Michael K.
Lame . . .
MK you are on fire today. I just LOL'd in the library, which brought on some evil stares from the studious bitches here.
Loved the book, but I can't say I'll see this. I don't like Julia Roberts.
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http://cocoacritic.blogspot.com
I can't stand any of these new ageish, self-help, Oprah endorsed shit books. When Oprah screeches how "this will change your life!!!", I think to myself that's probably what L.Ron Hubbard said about Dianetics. Sorry, I'll pass.
Charlene is the epitome of an old saying that goes: 'when whores grow old they become pious'.
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Thu, 03/18/2010 - 10:58am.
I cannot even remember the last time I saw a movie that starred Julia Roberts.
And I would prefer to keep it that way.
And sure she did not deserve that Oscar for Erin Brockovich. She knows that.
She'll never be up there again so they had to give it to her then for a performance that was marginally passable enough to even be up there in the first place.
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ITA although Erin Brockobitch did have super delicious Aaron Eckhart to ogle. His mustache in that gave the year's best performance. *runs to find old VHS copy and a towel*
"What's your motto?" "Kill everyone NOW"
kanderso, don't hold Oprah-style "spirituality" to the same standards as REAL spirituality. If you did, however could it be marketed to self-absorbed assholes who want to feel good while focusing on themselves and hoe awesome they are?
Submitted by Soultonic on Thu, 03/18/2010 - 11:32am.
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If nothing else, believe in the paranormal because we don't know or right now can't explain everything that's come before us on this planet.
This comes from a person who considers himself very analytical and rational (in other words, I believe what I see with my eyes.)
Sorry, Snowy!! I dunno if it's the guru dude per se, I know she went to live with the older dude after the book was written, Eustice? Anyway, heard she was marrying the dude from the book and thought it was him. But, after checkin, she's married the dude (or was planning to) who she met in Indonesia. Either way, this bit of gossip won't be in the movie. LOL
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Submitted by Manimal5 on Sat, 01/30/2010 - 11:06pm.
Fat, drunk and speeding is no way to go through life!!
sorry but what does this movie have to do with Under The Tuscan Sun? Anything besides going abroad to find yourself?
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
I don't believe in God (check), I don't believe in the paranormal or astronomy (check), I don't believe in love (I know, call me bitter, but check) and I don't believe in Julia (check). I do, however, believe in food (nom, nom,, nom).
Submitted by OurMissC on Thu, 03/18/2010 - 11:26am.
I was also disappointed by Under The Tuscan Sun but I think I will reserve judgement on this until later. there is something appealing about the basic theme. I hafta admit I'm half tempted to tell my job that I need to go to rehab for a month and then go to a yoga retreat or something.
Good idea! There's a retreat in Hawaii that I have been dying to go to myself.
The book was interesting but annoying. The author is a self-absorbed piece of crap who leaves her perfectly nice husband to fuck a younger guy and then decides to spend oodles of money traveling the globe finding faux-spirituality to ease her guilt. Spiritual awakening my ass - doesn't a spiritual awakening usually lead to the shedding of 'self' and not the embracing of it?
I like Julia on film even though she's a cunt in real life. I think it's just cause I find her cute and like her smile.
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"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." ~ Pink
this movie looks shitty....but the video of "ive never been me"...i remember this song...yes im that old...made my day..LMFAO
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"low self esteem is a bitch"...
It's great to see women who've been around a long time in Hollywood continue to work and get staring roles even as they get older. And it looks like she has a younger bf who she breaks up with in this movie. There is something nice about that as well, as far as presenting women in a positive light. But she gets on my nerves...I'd rather see Diane Lane or Laura Linney over Julia Roberts.
It never feels like she is acting, more like she is just being her self.
** http://feministguidetohollywood.blogspot.com **
I was also disappointed by Under The Tuscan Sun but I think I will reserve judgement on this until later. there is something appealing about the basic theme. I hafta admit I'm half tempted to tell my job that I need to go to rehab for a month and then go to a yoga retreat or something.
To err is human, but it feels divine. - Mae West
Nitty: the guru????!!!!!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
Was just kidding about the ending but not really..Spoiler alert if you are planning on watching this endless monotony of a spoiled rich bitch try and "find herself" then read no further..
Not sure this part will be in the movie but IRL she ends up with the Peepaw..and he's ick imo..'course in the movie he'll probably come across as some wise old sage of a fuck. Basically, dude had/has money.
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Submitted by Manimal5 on Sat, 01/30/2010 - 11:06pm.
Fat, drunk and speeding is no way to go through life!!