HA! Like The Lohans Brush Their Teeth
Since Shoe-Han has joined the Labor Pains DVD at the bottom of the barrel, White Oprah needs a new dance to keep her relevant. White Oprah is now focusing all of her attention on eco-friendly tooth brushes! Just call her Green Oprah! No, don't.
Here's the KANYE-FIED press release which is a joke in itself:
LOHAN TO LAUNCH
ECO- FRIENDLY INITIATIVE AND TO INTRODUCE ''THE LOHAN GREEN TOOTH BRUSH'' TODAY IN MANHATTAN AT PRESS CONFERENCELINDSAY LOHAN'S MOTHER DINA LOHAN WILL JOIN ENVIRONMENTAL GROUPS AND ORGANIZATIONS IN A MAJOR PRESS CONFERENCE INTRODUCING ONE OF THE FIRST WATER FREE TOOTH BRUSHES IN AMERICA. ''THE AQUA FREEDOM GREEN LOHAN BRUSH'' WILL BE UNVEILED ON AT THE ''GO GREEN EXPO'' ON FRIDAY MARCH 19, 2010 AT 11:30AM AT PIER 92 ON 12th AVENUE & W 55th STREET.THE BRUSH WILL SAVE THE AVERAGE CONSUMER OVER TWO GALLONS OF WATER IN THE BATHROOM A DAY. IT WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR CONSUMERS INTERNATIONALLY IN MAY DURING MOTHERS DAY WEEK. DINA WILL ALSO UNVEIL A GO GREEN INITIATIVE FOR LOCAL NYC FAMILIES.
If the Lohans really wanted to help the environment and go green, they'd move into the nearest compost pile. Aw. I shouldn't say that. White Oprah is trying. Besides, this sort of makes sense since hearing the name "Lohan" causes most people to scrub their entire body down with a toothbrush.
Also, I can't wait until White Oprah extends her line of Lohan dental products by putting out a tube of mint-flavored Adderall paste and teeth-whitening coke strips.
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"green" and "teeth" used together do not make for a palatable image.
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Internet fakers:
http://tinyurl.com/y94sh4m
http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
http://tinyurl.com/yeo4e9j
why do these cunts think the name Lohan sells...it sells drugs...and not even good drugs. Anything healthy and good for you should NEVER have anything to do with this stone mess of a family. But I do love your coke whitening strips...classic MK again. BTW, who are these skank ho's on this site today (Pretty Wild) and can you please get rid of them...they are on TMZ too...and if it is another stuck up family with slutty daughters who think there the shiznit I will have to pass...and they look like that so please get their skank ass faces off this site tomorrow...pretty please, with LOTS of sugar on top!!
Is this a joke?
Lip-smackin' desperation.
"ECO- FRIENDLY INITIATIVE AND TO INTRODUCE ''THE LOHAN GREEN TOOTH BRUSH'' "
For all your green Lohan teeth?
lol "mint-flavored Adderall paste and teeth-whitening coke strips".Zing!!
Delusional and massively unattractive - the whole family and everything they do. It is good to see the ugly stick is making frequent visits to Dina's face.
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"My motto is, if you want to fuck 'em, fuck 'em. If you don't want to fuck 'em, go home, grab a bottle of lube and fuck yourself." - MK
I bet after this picture was taken, she gently used a pair of tweezers to yank out that undissolved white booger from her right nostril and attempted to freebase it..........................Give a man a match and he'll keep warm for a minute, but set him on fire and he'll be nice and toasty for the rest of his life.
We should all go green by just rinsing our mouths with Listerine and keeping a sweater nearby on the towelrack. Fuck the Lohans.
Who the fuck uses two gallons of water a day to brush their teeth? WTF!
The Lohan Toothbrush: Put it in your mouth, roll it around, and hope that the toothbrush gives you a movie roll or an eight-ball.
She'd do better with a Go Green Coke Boog Scraper. "Recycle your boogers and get an eco-friendly bump from your own snot."
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2010: Year of the Skanky Self-Promoting Mistress
Will there also be a line of toofpicks to accompany the brushes? WO looks like the kind of klassy gal who sits around the kitchen table stabbing at her ginormous gums with a pick, flicking out bits of Hamburger Helper while she talks.
"What's your motto?" "Kill everyone NOW"
Submitted by flannery on Fri, 03/19/2010 - 10:30am.
well, green IS the color I turn when I read or see one of the Lohans. Although, technically, shouldn't they be launching the Orange Initiative?
Hahahaha! You're right, especially since the name "Agent Orange" was already taken.
"What's your motto?" "Kill everyone NOW"
I do not even want to hear the BEGINNING of the explanation for toothbrushes that cause us to save water. I already have a child - I have no need for any more unlikely stories in my life.
♥ Threadkilla!
Heterosexuality is not normal. It's just common.
~ Dorothy Parker
Oh good christ ... it hurts to watch this family. They're like that sad old drunk of an aunt, dancing at a wedding with her dress stuck in her panty hose, oblivious ... embarassing
Ok, I haven't gone past the first sentence, but go green on your teeth? When your teeth and your daughters have been cosmetically redefined? Bitch, please.
I wish her nothing short of total failure.
Submitted by megexpat on Fri, 03/19/2010 - 10:47am.
This reminds me of when I was in grade school and we had the Invention Convention (god, I hated that crap), because a 3rd grader would come up with it. I'm sure the teacher would then remind the student that guess what, genius, you just turn off the damn water while you're brushing and then you're not wasting water. God, what a twat. And the picture accompanying this post is horrifying. She looks likes she's thisclose to dropping dead from skin cancer.
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One can only hope.
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Life's a jest, and all things show it/I thought so once, but now I know it.
This reminds me of when I was in grade school and we had the Invention Convention (god, I hated that crap), because a 3rd grader would come up with it. I'm sure the teacher would then remind the student that guess what, genius, you just turn off the damn water while you're brushing and then you're not wasting water. God, what a twat. And the picture accompanying this post is horrifying. She looks likes she's thisclose to dropping dead from skin cancer.
well, green IS the color I turn when I read or see one of the Lohans. Although, technically, shouldn't they be launching the Orange Initiative?
Submitted by Soultonic on Fri, 03/19/2010 - 10:22am.
I think it's more fitting if White Oprah helps the environment with the 'Lohan Save-A-Poop.' You crotch down, poop into a brown organic bag (like the ones you use for a forty), tie up, dump into the garbage and whalla! No need to flush and you save at least 4 gallons of water a day. The Lohan Save-A-Poop!
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EXACTLY!!! Nothing screams Lohan like a steaming pile of shit!
I can just see it now...
"The Lohan Dental GodDAM...for your bat-shit crazy, lesbionic, coke whore of a daughter to use when she is munching on her manly looking girlfriend. Don't risk wasting precious crack crumbs to a toilet stall floor...
Lohan Dental GodDAM it...today"
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
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what's wrong with just using your sweater? quit makin shit complicated.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I'd jack off to jack-in-the-hat if he was on the cover before her" Eddie
I think it's more fitting if White Oprah helps the environment with the 'Lohan Save-A-Poop.' You crotch down, poop into a brown organic bag (like the ones you use for a forty), tie up, dump into the garbage and whalla! No need to flush and you save at least 4 gallons of water a day. The Lohan Save-A-Poop!
Yeah, and this will go great with my one-square TP dispenser.
The lohans are doing it wrong! When I think of a pair of shoes or a green toothbrush I dont think lohan.
Now when I think of a hangover remedy or a vd treatment then I think Lohan! They need to go down the right road when it comes to developing or selling products!
Lindsay brushes her teeth with her finger, if you take my meaning.
mike's personal toothbrush recommendation: Philips Sonicare Toothbrush - awesome
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Yup!!! I have that one and everytime I brush I feel like i just had them professionaly cleaned!
Any product with the BLOHAN name attached to it is going to bomb. Shoe-Han was a good tax write-off.
Apparently this white trash piece of shit hasn't figured out the public despises her.
Whats a toothbrush?
The first, huh??? I purchased the Colgate Wisp at Walgreens a few months back. This family is so delusional.
If they are so concerned with "going green" they need to clean up Blowhan's disgusting home. I hear hoarders are just a li'l messy.
OK, but does it guarantee that you won't swish it around in the toilet when you want to get back at someone?
I think not.
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Well, someone pass me a dick, 'cause she makes me gayer than a motherfucker.~ BangoSkank
What in the cracked out hell is she talking about? Waterless toothbrush??? Anyone with half a brain knows that you shut off the faucet while brushing your teeth to save water. Get off the coke dumb bitch!
Yea I'm sure that's our priority these days..an eco friendly toothbrush WTF?
This whole family gives delusional a bad name.
You only use two gallons of water if you let the water running while you're brushing your teeth. Turn it off while doing the actual brushing and you're good.
mike's personal toothbrush recommendation: Philips Sonicare Toothbrush - awesome
r.i.p., Alex Chilton
This is the most delusional family ever. What makes them thing that ANYBODY gives a rat's ass about them or some damn toothbrush they're hawking w/ their name stamped on it. No thanks! Lohan=trash in my book, so that's not a brand name I'm interested in putting anywhere near my mouth! That toothbrush should come w/ condoms and a free sample of valtrex!
If she could only invent a water-free bath to clean up her daughter.
Umm no thanks I will just stick with not running the water whilst I brush my teefs!
And do I spy some coke dust up one of her ginormous nos-trals?
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I'm not a coke addict - I just like the way it smells.
http://www.modestneeds.org/
If the Lohans really wanted to help the environment and go green, they'd move into the nearest compost pile.
a.k.a. BloHan's bedroom.
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I'm not a coke addict - I just like the way it smells.
http://www.modestneeds.org/
Submitted by Albatross on Fri, 03/19/2010 - 9:34am.
Why does it have to have "Lohan" in the name? That in itself is going to make them lose potential customers.
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Yeah, that name on a product does not inspire me to want put it in my mouth. *********************************************************************************************** Are you addressing me? Well lick it, stamp it and mail it to someone who gives a shit.
You what now?
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
Why does it have to have "Lohan" in the name? That in itself is going to make them lose potential customers.
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"Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul"
aaaarrrgggghhhhh....shut the fuck up. Better yet, drop dead.
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When you feel down and out, sing a song
-Earth, Wind & Fire
The toothbrush will be unveiled... UNVEILED! like it's some kinda fuckin new hybrid car that'll get 200 mpg!!! THE UNVEILING OF A TOOTHBRUSH!! un-FUCKING-believable.....
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I'd jack off to jack-in-the-hat if he was on the cover before her" Eddie
Anything to stay relevant, which is why papa Lohan faked a heart attack last week
Shit endorsing shit.
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
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How about something clean up that Superfund site between her daughter's legs!*********************************************************************************************** Are you addressing me? Well lick it, stamp it and mail it to someone who gives a shit.