White Oprah Debuts Her New Collection Of Fugly Green Toothbrushes
Earlier I posted a highly important news story (eat that with a dollop of whipped sarcasm on top) about White Oprah's plans to hold a press conference today to talk about her new line of eco-friendly toothbrushes. Aaaaaand here's the pictures from that very special press conference which was held in one of the lesser used gates at Port Authority in NYC.
The launch of the Lohan Brush was attended by a college student doing her final thesis on mental illness, a few Japanese tourists (they are everywhere) and a dozen people that White Oprah owes money to.
White Oprah told those who attended that the green Lohan Brush requires no water. This will come in handy when your water has been shut off due to non-payment and you need to clean out your pipe. White Oprah is always thinking about Lindsay. And she really is, because that white brush can double as a taint tickler.
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hahahaha MK! You are truly a wordsmith!
Bowchicka, I am almost 50, and the best thing about getting older is just not giving a f-u-c-k anymore about what men, women and the world think about you...there is freedom in aging, as long as you embrace it, live right, and don't trip on aging...this is why I pass for 35..and I am not joking...no fancy regimens...just don't trip on it...now on this pathetic Hohan family...nothing screams hygenic like the Hohan's...what a strange item to push when you are known for being a family full of slutty coke heads....
Submitted by I_was_a_slave4U on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 4:38pm.
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Thanks hon! I have a lot of opinions and random knowledge in my head that I love to spew out and if you hit a topic I think about a lot myself, spew I will! My real life friends and family are pretty much worn out on my knowledge sharing so, being here is cool for me. I have a fresh audience. ;-)
omg i LOVE Bowchickawas post!!!
More interesting than 90% of the shit i read on the net!!!!!
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*ridden hard*
How could a toothbrush be green in any way shape or form??
Submitted by MattyCII on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 1:20pm.
I think she looks a lot like Ramona from Real Housewives of New York. Does anyone else think this?
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Well. the expressions are Ramonaesque, but I have always thought that Ramona looks like a crazed Kathy Lee.
Hey Dina! Don't forget to send a case of those to Jessica Simpson!
Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 4:13am.
I've been glossing over this post cuz I just don't have the energy for this ho but now it's the wee hours of the morning and nothing's happening and so why not...?let's read it....
The launch of the Lohan Brush was attended by a college student doing her final thesis on mental illness, a few Japanese tourists (they are everywhere) and a dozen people that White Oprah owes money to.
So true...Japanese tourists ARE everywhere...taking pictures in Manhattan of EVERYTHING!!!
White Oprah might have had more luck trying to sell this as a vibrator!!
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Submitted by Twink on Sat, 03/20/2010 - 11:28am.
This UN-GREEN piece of junk is really aggravating to me.
Lmao at your post...I'm sure the starving kids in India that are starving to death really are worried about white teeth.
Really Dina toofbrushes??
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Submitted by Twink 3/20/10 11:30a.m.
Even if the thing is recyclable, I doubt third world nations have many recycling plants to deal with it.
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Right you are! I have a friend who traveled through India (in the northern, "modernized" part of the country) in 2008 and he was shocked by the mounds of plastic litter by the roadsides. Recycling is not even a question in that country. Garbage is dumped wherever, so just dealing with the daily waste generated is an unaddressed issue.
I think she looks a lot like Ramona from Real Housewives of New York. Does anyone else think this?
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Fri, 03/19/2010 - 8:28pm.
wow, inventive... i always used to just put the coke on my gums with my finger
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AAHAHAHA!! A+ post for a White O thread <3
She looks high and confused, her mind clearly on her next drug fix.
TOOTHBRUSHES -- greeeen toothbrushes?! jeeesus H I looove me some greasy disgusting Horhan posts -- scrolling back up to savor it..
This UN-GREEN piece of junk is really aggravating to me.
They say the inspiration came during Lindsay's trip to India where she saw there is no clean water and no one brushed their teeth (among other things, no doubt!!). I do think it is nice that they were inspired but this lame toothbrush would be like throwing a thimble full of water on an inferno. They really missed the point. India needs a lot of help but it doesn't need this toothbrush. And do we really need to start littering India with this plastic garbage from China? Even if the thing is recyclable, I doubt third world nations have many recycling plants to deal with it. It's just not logical.
I have a feeling the real inspiration for this toothbrush was a drunk skank who never wakes up in her own home but likes to freshen up before doing the walk of shame. cough Lindsay cough.
I love how you always use those pictures, MK. White Oprah must miss the movie premieres and the glam parties so much that she's resorted to hawking toothbrushes??
What an un-photogenic woman!
is that lindsay and ali's younger sister?
You know, if my mother and father made such public asses of themselves after riding in on my coattails, I'd probably be a notorious alcoholic too.
She's failed at nearly everything she's tried. Didn't she try to market shoes? Didn't she also claim to have been a Rockette at the Radio City Music Hall?
The truth is she's homely! I find nothing appealing about this wench. I've never let a celebrity influence what I might purchase. I know I'd never purchase anything this bimbo endorsed. She's a mutton headed dolt.
Submitted by super martian r... on Fri, 03/19/2010 - 10:37pm.
Is it just me or once women at the age of 25 suddenly start to realize they can actually age? Really, I didn't feel this way until I turned 25. Now I am interested in how everyone else ages and I feel like I already sag. I am already pretty fucking paranoid. Someone stop my crazy!
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No, it is not just you and I am afraid I have nothing encouraging to say on the matter. You will look back on 25, in 5 or most likely 10 years (35 seems to be a melt-down age for many women) and think "What the fuck was I worried about at 25? I was a morning dewdrop on a fresh rosebud, at age 25. I was nothing but a child then. Why would I think anything sagged?" I am kidding but I am serious in a way as well. We all age. Many of us try to fight it with whatever resources we have. Celebrities have a lot of resources are constantly in our faces so, that seems to be our point of reference for aging, and it is not reality...not even close. I've been 39 for a few years now and I have just started to experience the real evidence and acknowledgment that things are not what they once were or where they once were. I weigh the same as I always have but suddenly the same clothes no longer fit me. I am somewhat vain and this does not please me. I've recently started smearing anti-aging shit on my face and body in a desperate attempt to undo years of sun damage and questionable life choices of the past...such as smoking.
I've wondered how women even older than me deal with it, especially when I see woman in their 70's and upward. I am frightened to hell and back about looking old like that but it seems to me that most women of that age accept their current physical state. Nature must have a way of causing us to care less and less about the loss of the beauty of our youth and how we look as we get older. Vanity must decrease to some extent otherwise we would see old people freaking out all over the place. Maybe they are and I am just not looking carefully.
My advice to you is this...same old cliched shit but it is the truth...start taking care of yourself early, if you don't already. Don't worry about how you look now. You really are a kid in the physical scheme of things but keep the future in mind. Do not tan! Seek shade. I don't personally believe that smearing sun blocking chemicals all over your body and face is any healthier than getting a little sun exposure. Instead of sunblock, I follow a rule of being shaded when I have had enough sun...usually 15 - 20 minutes. For your face, a wide brimmed hat will do. You need sun for your body to make vitamin D and to get your happy brain enzymes going. No sun whatsoever isn't healthy either.
Drink water! If you see sagging at 25, anywhere on your body, you are likely dehydrated. People try to moisturize from the outside in and it doesn't work. When you are properly hydrated, you will puff the saggy skin back out. I read that something like 90% of our population is chronically dehydrated. That sounds like a lot to me...maybe the study was sponsered by Poland Springs or something.
Eat well, exercise and GET ENOUGH SLEEP. Chronic sleep deprivation will age your skin so quickly. Obviously, so will drugs and alcohol so make wise choices. I say anything in moderation is ok but most people have no idea what moderation is.
Don't consume a totally fat-free diet. You need some good fats to metabolize certain vitamins. A, D, E and K are fat soluble only.
Well, that's enough for now. I probably didn't pep you up but maybe gave you a few things to think about and plan for.
-Bowchick
Fuck, I'd rather use Simpson brand sweater to clean my teeth.
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"You sir, have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk."
Tooth brush use is a huge environmental problem. Check. Actually make-up is a much larger problem because the packing causes way more trash and impact on the planet then anything tooth brush related. Don't tell White Oprah that. It would make her sad.
I've been glossing over this post cuz I just don't have the energy for this ho but now it's the wee hours of the morning and nothing's happening and so why not...?let's read it....
The launch of the Lohan Brush was attended by a college student doing her final thesis on mental illness, a few Japanese tourists (they are everywhere) and a dozen people that White Oprah owes money to.
LOLOLOLOLOLOL!
I should know better;p
♥ Threadkilla!
Heterosexuality is not normal. It's just common.
~ Dorothy Parker
All I see is her red, Coke-filled snout. BLOWhan, indeed.
She might want to a little more make-up on her candy filled nose.
The crazy eyes are truly elegant, too.
You gotta give her some credit for cutting back on the fake tan, MK -- And by that I mean lend her some money so she can carry on with it !!
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http://pocagentesabe.com
Besides leeching of her daughters, what exactly is this woman's claim to fame and since when is she an expert on teeth?
The launch of the Lohan Brush was attended by a college student doing her final thesis on mental illness, a few Japanese tourists (they are everywhere) and a dozen people that White Oprah owes money to.
This gave me my first great laugh of the day! Thanks!
Submitted by Provolone on Fri, 03/19/2010 - 10:14pm.
*snort* Ya know that's Dina's head shot - the one she sent to the Ford Modeling Agency. Delusional, much?! Ha!
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
She has pushy showbiz mother from hell face.
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"My motto is, if you want to fuck 'em, fuck 'em. If you don't want to fuck 'em, go home, grab a bottle of lube and fuck yourself." - MK
Oooooh man, well if she uses it as a taint tickler, I sure hope she doesn't pop it back into her mouth!
Is it just me or once women at the age of 25 suddenly start to realize they can actually age? Really, I didn't feel this way until I turned 25. Now I am interested in how everyone else ages and I feel like I already sag. I am already pretty fucking paranoid. Someone stop my crazy!
How could anyone think attaching the name Lohan to your product would be anything but poison? Especially a hygiene product!
that last thumb is very revealing - the hands NEVER lie.
good to see she's given the old french manicure a rest. dog i hate those tacky things.
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Internet fakers:
http://tinyurl.com/y94sh4m
http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
http://tinyurl.com/yeo4e9j
Boy this woman must be hard-up for cash. I am sure her top priority in life is to go eco-friendly.
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Fri, 03/19/2010 - 9:38pm.
Petunia Pig has a prettier nose. Oink!
http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l79/RCMerchant/534297183_a8e2bbcc56.jp...
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"One Shot, One Shot!"
Ronnie 2, Townies 0
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Fri, 03/19/2010 - 9:38pm.
Petunia Pig has a prettier nose. Oink!
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Dina has an easier time finding truffles though.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
heya cappy. weekends are open season for open posts as far as i'm concerned.
waiting for your name sake to be on the torrent list to download, and losing at scrabble.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Internet fakers:
http://tinyurl.com/y94sh4m
http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
http://tinyurl.com/yeo4e9j
... or a Alec Baldwin piggy bank.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Internet fakers:
http://tinyurl.com/y94sh4m
http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
http://tinyurl.com/yeo4e9j
As if I would ever stick anything in my mouth that had the name, "Lohan", on it...
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 03/19/2010 - 9:35pm.
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hey Tits!! (see, it's monikers like this that is the reason why my ass can't log onto the D at the office, damnit!)
right. her nose and mouth/lips/whatever are over-plasticsurgeryized n shit. all sorts of wrong. then throw in a toothbrush and we're all heading down that rabbit hole into insanity. The Lohans = Japanese Commercialism. only explanation. idk.
(how iz you by the way? - i know, this is an OP question)
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"Don't smell me ever again. You almost ruined my whole 2 hours 47 mins and 3 seconds. If someone would've seen you pull my finger. Fart." ~Speakits (upon finding the lost sexts msgs)
or a Duggar brand condom
... or britney spears panty liners.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Internet fakers:
http://tinyurl.com/y94sh4m
http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
http://tinyurl.com/yeo4e9j
well... okay, it's a stupid idea but it's better than Pete Doherty anti-perspirant.
Petunia Pig has a prettier nose. Oink!
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
for someone that is photographed so often she sure does have a lot wrong with her looks that could be fixed.
those eyebrows! what in joan van ark hell is going on with them.
awful awful awful dye job. no excuse. i could do better at home with a box of loreal in my bathroom.
not only does that blouse not go with that pantsuit, but neither should ever be worn in public.
She can't help this - but doesn't it seem like her mouth is really small?
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Internet fakers:
http://tinyurl.com/y94sh4m
http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
http://tinyurl.com/yeo4e9j
poor Lindsay, I'd die having such opportunistic, unloving, dumb parents. i mean who can help her out of her slum with parents like hers?
Could she BE anymore annoying?
She's a strange choice for a toothbrush spokesperson..her teeth are very unnatural looking.
Submitted by speakit on Fri, 03/19/2010 - 9:26pm.
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hey, hey YOU WHOR!!!! 'k for real, you posting those 'lost' sexts...bitch, i just keep cracking up (and i aint even reading that post of yours...i just remember the shit flmao...!!!) =)
i was dead tired, dead drunk, etc., and saw your post last night on "my way out of the D" and i fell off my chair. YOU IZ BRILLIANT
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"Don't smell me ever again. You almost ruined my whole 2 hours 47 mins and 3 seconds. If someone would've seen you pull my finger. Fart." ~Speakits (upon finding the lost sexts msgs)
cappy!!!!
lmao!! I'm in your siggie!!!
I am honored or some shit.